Episode 52

Slowly and very tenderly, I felt his hand slide up to my shoulder, lingered as his mouth continued to do wonders to me. I felt like I was in a freaking tuna.
What started as a slow kiss gradually turned into a fit of rush, his hands all over my body, mine all over his hair. Suddenly,I couldn't care less whom I was kissing or where I was or if what I was doing right now was gonna cause me a gigantic regret later on. I realized I wanted more. I wanted to pull away and take in some air cause I was starting to feel a little bit lightheaded but it was getting more and more impossible to pull away.
The mint taste of his mouth was gradually turning me on. That manly taste. . . . ..I felt a sharp pain run through my head and I pulled back a bit from him. Images and scenes unknown to me started to invade my head. Image of me kissing Ric heatedly. In a closed space.
I shut my eyes tight as I tried to remember what the hell that was. I'd kissed him before? I searched through my brain, trying hard to get a grasp of that scene,that day. . . .
"Are you okay?"Ric asked,his hands going up to hold my arms in place.
That's when they all hit me. I'm waking up in a hotel room. Ric is standing there watching me. I'm not dressed. I've been undressed. No, that doesn't make any sense. I searched harder. . . . .
The last came to me like a blast. I'm sitting next to Ric in a car. His car. I'm looking at him. And he's looking back. Then I'm on top of him, my thighs bare as I straddled his own thighs. I'm kissing him hard and his hands are all over my body. And that's it. The memory is vague again. I shut a look up at him.
"Ashley?"Ric called again, fear in his eyes as they watched me with concern.
"Did. . . . "
"I'm sorry," he cut me off " I shouldn't have kisses you without your concern. "
"What happened? Back at the hotel in New York"
"What?" He asked, confused "nothing. . . . "
"I remember kissing you in your car that night,Ric. What happened?"
"Nothing happened,I promise. I'm sorry I took advantage of you that night. I just. . ." He looks out, as if short of words
I remained silent, obviously speechless myself. I didn't know what to say. The air suddenly got so thick between us, you could cut through with a scissor. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me as the awkwardness because unbearable.
"I'm gonna go," I said, desperately wanting to cut through this awkwardness "I wanna go to the hospital as early as possible tomorrow. Then we can leave"
"You wanna go back home? And sleep there alone?"
"Is that safe?"
"Come on Ric, I lived there before remember?" I gave that a nervous laugh.
"Yeah" he grinned "I know. I'm just worried about you. Why don't you sleep here and we can go see your dad tomorrow?"
Yes! I wanted to jump up and tell him how much I wanted to sleep here tonight. . . . With him but instead I gave him a smile before replying.
"I don't know, Ric. . . . I don't wanna bother you. Besides, I need some space to clear my head.
He nodded slowly " I understand. Okay. I'll drop you off"
"You brought a car?"
"No, dummy. It's a rental" he laughed.
"Right" I'll get going.
He nodded and I started to turn.
"You wanna," he said and I stopped walking to turn to him " grab dinner?"
"It's probably past 10,Ric. It's a little dangerous eating dinner this hour"
"Yeah. You're right. I'll just drop you off then"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I spent the night thinking seriously about many things that had happened today. How my boss had kissed me passionately in his hotel room. How he'd apologized for kissing me in his car. Deep inside, I knew I'd probably have initiated the kiss. Trust me I know the stupid things I say and so whenever I'm drunk. That's why I try my best in staying away from alcohol as much as I can.
The thought of him apologizing for all those things made me smile each time the thought occured to me. Who knew Riccardo Marcello had this soft side behind all those powerful personality.
The thoughts kept coming. I couldn't help thinking about all I'd talked about with my father before he went unconscious. I felt horrible.
He hadn't sent me to New York University to get rid of me. He'd thought he was doing it for me and I shut him out instead. I'm a horrible person, mom was probably turning in her grave right now at the person I'd become.
I'd turned my back on my own father for some selfish reason and self pity. What if he didn't make it? The thought put me up all night long.
I woke up with puffy eyes the following morning. I dressed up before Ric texted me that he was on his way to the house to pick me up for the hospital. I didn't know what news the doctor was gonna tell me about my father's health, if he made it or not but I knew one thing. I wasn't gonna give him any more reasons to wanna leave me again. I was gonna forgive myself and hopefully he'd do the same and move on. Mom would definitely want that. She'd want him to be happy.
I picked out the slender black suit Dad had gotten me on the week of prom. He had bought it from korea during a business trip to Korea. I'd loved it so much, I wanted to wear it to prom. It was the only thing that made me happy after mom died. But after dressing up on it, I looked at myself on the mirror and asked myself "you've got the never to be happy after you've done." So I pulled it off and placed it back on the hanger before Katie,Robi and my date arrived. I hadn't gotten the mind to take the suit to the university afterwards.
I wore a pair of mom jeans and a cream colored singlet before putting the suit over it. I wore my old blue sneakers and put my hair on ponytail. Watching myself from the floor length mirror, I knew this was the look I'd been missing. It reminded me of me when I was a high school teenager.
I walked out the door after hearing Ric's car drive in. He stepped out to see me, the surprise in his eyes obvious enough to make me snort.
"I think I'm gonna get arrested for picking up a highschooler, Ashley" he teased, causing me to laugh.
"I guess I miss being this me"
"You ready?"
I nodded and pulled the passenger seat door open and sat in. He sat in too and drove us out.
When Ric pulled up in front of the hospital, I made a silent prayer inside of me before walking in with him. The doctor from last night was first to see me as he made his way out of the ER.
"Miss Ashley Shawn?" He called.
"Yes"
"Good. Your father regained consciousness last night but it was too late to put a call to you. I hope you don't mind"
"Not at all, doctor" I couldn't disguise my glee as I turned to look at Ric who smiled back.
"Very well. May I see you for a minute before you see your father?"
"Sure" I turned to Ric "I'll be back"
"Go ahead. I'll wait here"
"Okay"
I followed the doctor to his office where he asked me to sit down. I took the sit opposite his and braced myself for the news to come. What if he said my father had cancer and that he had a month left to live? What am I ever gonna do?
"Does your father live with you currently or. . . He's still together with your mother?"
"No, my mom's late"
"Oh I'm really sorry for raising it"
"That's okay. My dad's gonna be okay right?"
"Yes infact. Just that. . . He showed a sign of atherosclerosis"
"What?"
"It means. . . "
"I know what it means" of course I knew exactly what it means. That would explain why he had a nose bleed earlier. Did he know?"
"Very well. Although his medical report shows that he'd been diagnosed of this illness last year when he had this same accident. It hadn't been serious then. He'd only had a nosebleed. Yesterday he'd gotten a heart attack which is a major sign of atherosclerosis. Might I ask what triggered it?"
"We. . . We had a fight yesterday and he suddenly fell"
"Yes. There's no trace of alcohol in his system so I very much believe that he has a very high blood pressure. Well a few tests concluded that. So Miss Ashley, I recommend an immediate coronary artery bypass surgery. Then we can put him on diet afterwards. You can take your time for the surgery but not too long"
"Okay. But is he gonna be alright?"
He gave me a reassuring smile before replying "your father shouldn't be more than sixty to sixty five years old so yes, surgery would be totally good for him and he will be alright. Don't worry"
"Okay thank you so much"
He rose up "follow me then"
I followed him back out where i met Ric now seated on the waiting chair along the ward. I gave him a quick smile when he saw me walk up before turning and entering the ER.
Clad in a hospital garment was my father, laid back against his bed. He barely noticed my presence until I called him and he looked me up.
"I'll leave you for a while" the doctor said before walking out.
I drew a sit close to my father's bed and sat down.
"How do you feel dad?"
"I'm not dead if that's what you're worrying about"
"Thank God for that" he looks away, a certain atmosphere drawing in. "Dad, I'm. . Sorry about yesterday"
"No. I'm sorry. I should be sorry. I haven't been the best parent to you"
"I shouldn't have yelled,dad. . . .I shouldn't have said all I said."
"It's good you said your mind, Ashley,"he reached over to touch my hands "I should've paid more attention to you"
"I'm just sorry about mom's death"
"It wasn't your fault. None of these are and don't ever think for a second that I blame you for the past. Your mother is so proud of you right now"
I felt the tears at the corners of my eyes "how do you know that?"
"Because she's here"he paths his chest,just above his heart "and she's in yours too"
I let out a smile, squeezing his hands in mine comfortingly "I should've come back home,dad. I was so stupid"
"I do not blame you for any actions you took then, Ashley. You only did that to protect yourself"
"I'm sorry for blaming you for taking the loan. But you don't have to worry about Drako or anyone anymore. I have a solid evidence against him now and if he ever tries to rile up trouble again, he'll be seeing time in prison"
He held my gaze for a while before saying "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. I've always been and will always be"
The next few minutes were spent smiling and silently.
"The doctor said you have atherosclerosis. Why didn't you ever tell me dad?" I broke the building silence.
"I didn't wanna worry you, Ashley. I already did worse to you"
"No,dad. Well I should've paid more attention. I'm gonna arrange for a surgery for you and you cannot refuse to do it. You're still gonna be around for a long time"
He erupted in a fit of laughter before saying out of the blue "I like your suit. I remember how that long lost smile came back to your face when I gave it to you. You were so beautiful and so young. I feel like I've missed out so much on your growing up because I let my grieve drive me to the edge"
I squeezed his hands with concern. He would always be here, I'll make sure of that.