Chapter 14

**Clary**


I was going through the normal motions at work. Unpacking supplies where they were supposed to be, showing clients new products, giving them advice on what would work best, and all of it with a smile. On the outside I was my normal self, my normal friendly cheerful self that I always let others see. The mask of what everyone would want to see in me.

Yet, inside I was in turmoil, anticipation, and fear. My headache from the morning had lessened, but it hadn’t gone away completely. I had taken pain medication before I left home, but it didn’t feel like it was working. Somehow, the thought struck me that no matter how much pain medication I took, no matter if I’m unconscious or not, it wouldn’t go away.

When my lunch break came crawling in, I disappeared into the employee’s bathrooms and locked myself in a cubicle. I put down the toilet seat and sat on it resting my head on the tiles behind my head. It felt nice. The coolness on the back of my legs, my back and head. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. I was usually hungry by now, especially since I haven’t eaten anything this morning. But strangely enough, I didn’t feel hungry. I felt… empty.

Why I felt empty I had no idea, could it be because of the crazy amount of events over the past few days? Was it maybe because of the memories?

I looked down at my hands and studied them. They were slender and the word ‘dainty’ almost popped up. I yearned to see the strong beautiful tanned hands from my memories. Hands that were used to wielding deadly weapons on a daily basis.

Trying to think the way I would have before all these things had started happening to me, I realized that the ‘realistic’ way to think right now would be that I’d need to go to a Hospital for an MRI scan or visit a Psychiatrist. Clearly, in ‘reality’, things like angels, the fae, and magic just don’t exist. Normally you’d think that in a person that swears by the supernatural, that not all the gears in his or her head were working right. That he or she should probably get the crazy checked out, or that they just had an overactive imagination, or were just eccentric by nature.

But now… this really was happening. This really was my life. These memories really were real. Faeries, the Fae, Fair Folk really do exist. Even though they weren’t nearly as friendly or pretty as the fictional Tinkerbelle and modern depictions. Guardians do exist, heck, ANGELS exist. My dreams… they really were events that had been lived by me many, many years ago.

Sighing I closed my eyes and rolled my head a little to even out the chill the tiles offered. Before long I heard a door creaking open… but no footsteps. I frowned and thought that my lunch break is probably over anyway. I got up off the toilet and got out of the stall only to see … no one. I frowned which did nothing but make me even more aware of the headache.

Hell, I have visions of my past lives, I could be hallucinating right now for all I knew. Just a few more hours, I just have to hold out for a few more hours, then I can go home and see Hezerial again. Maybe take a small unnoticeable bag and pack a few things. The urge and want to go back to the Order was so strong that it was almost painful. Strangely enough, the thought of missing my mom and brothers didn’t even cross my mind.

Walking out of the bathroom, I still had that unsettling feeling that someone or something did enter the bathroom before. I turned back but saw nothing noticeable. I could swear I just felt someone watching me…

I scanned every nook and cranny, feeling a small sliver of unease creep up my spine, I was just about to try and call on Hezerial, but then the sensation disappeared. I blinked looking around another time but not feeling or seeing anything.

Was this just a part of my imagination? Were my memories bleeding through now while I am awake? I shook my head. Maybe this was a symptom of whatever was ailing me…

I stalked out of the bathroom and went back to smiling and helping where I saw I might be needed. All the while not quite being able to shake the feeling of being watched every now and then.

The uneasy feeling kept hampering me the whole day long. A feeling that said that I needed to get out. After about 2 hours after lunch I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Even Geromy asked me what was wrong while he did a routine check around the shop to make sure that everything was still running smoothly.

“I don’t think I feel too good.” I admitted to him when he asked if I was alright.

He frowned at me then and looked me over, probably properly taking in the slight rings around my eyes, and the natural paleness of my skin probably didn’t do me any favors either.

“Please don’t tell me you are coming down with the flu.” He said, giving me a withering look.

I smiled at him. “I don’t know, but I haven’t been feeling myself since yesterday.” I gave him a pleading look. “Will it be okay if I take leave early? I’ll call in the morning if I have to go see a doctor.” I rarely got sick, and now I couldn’t ignore the urge to move anymore. I had to get out.

Geromy gave me a worried frown and nodded. “Don’t want you infecting any of the customers now do we? Go home and get some rest, looks like you could use it. You aren’t overworking yourself with college tasks in the middle of the night now are you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

I just smiled. “Nope not yet, I heard that there is a doozy on the way though, so I wouldn’t be getting proper sleep filled nights any time soon.”

He chuckled and patted me on the shoulder. “Go on Clary, the shop will survive without you for a day or two.”

*How about the rest of forever?* The thought popped into my head but I smiled it away. It wasn’t like I was going to die… right? I was just going home.

“Thanks Geromy, I’ll keep you posted.” I said walking into the staff room and my locker to retrieve my car keys and handbag. After I left the shop I no longer felt like darkness was crowding over me. I wondered for a second if maybe it was another memory edging its way to the surface…

I shook my head and got into the car. Feeling at ease with the fact that I’ll be home soon. Very soon, I could put this normal little life behind me. Driving through the residential area first I kept checking my rear view mirror every now and then, for some odd reason expecting to see something behind me, or in the back seat.

But every single time I checked, nothing. I must have been coming down with a bout of paranoia after everything that had happened. Definitely falling into the loony bin faster than before.

The thought kept swirling around in my head as I drove. Until I checked behind me again a few streets away from the highway…