Chapter 25

**Merianna**


And there I was, sitting in the bed with my breakfast over my lap blinking at the bizarre reactions. None of the reactions were what I expected after the show of typical violence at Noch. Except maybe Nana Ara’s. Nana Ara would laugh even harder if I’d actually managed to kill the bastard with that throw.

“You little hag!” Noch sputtered but kept on laughing. “Glad to see that the demon didn’t completely vanish!” He said tittering as he half stumbled out the door.

Ara, Fog and Nelia followed suit, Fog made it look like he was helping Ara to keep her balance steady while in reality he was using her as a crutch. Jasnine and Raska all but stumbled out of the room. Which left just me, a still tittering Thyrion, and a madly grinning Hezerial.

“Oi!” I heard Noch yell breathlessly from outside. “Thyrion! You blasted demonic bastard! Come here for a bit!”

Thyrion stiffened at my side and he frowned up at the door where Noch’s laughter was disappearing from. “Come now, she won’t die if I steal you away for a few minutes!” He yelled again from a little further away.

Thyrion gave a big sigh and looked at me with a worried frown. I smiled up at him, knowing that he really didn’t want to let me out of his sight. “Go on. I’ll just be here eating my breakfast. Hurry back so yours doesn’t get cold either.” I said kissing him lightly on the lips. He melted and hugged me close for a second, burying his face in the crook of my neck and nuzzling me.

“I’ll stay close.” He said and pulled away reluctantly. As soon as Thyrion was out of the room my smile fell and my thoughts turned back to the recent memories and the power within me.

Shoving a bite of French toast into my mouth just so my stomach would stop pinching, I turned to Hezerial who still stood next to my bed. Now looking down at the ground, like he knew what was rolling through my mind.

Giving up and feeling uncomfortably full by the fifth bite I looked at Hezerial with all my attention. “I’ve been around for a very, very long time, haven’t I?” I asked him with my arms crossed in front of my chest.

Hezerial inclined his head in acknowledgement. “Indeed my lady. You have been around for far longer than you probably would have deigned necessary.” He said taking away my half eaten French toast and setting it down on the table behind him.

A chill ran up my spine. Far longer than I would have thought I should have lived? Now that wasn’t daunting at all… did he mean it included the life I would have lived as Denaue as well? Well if it included memories of being a deity, I couldn’t even fathom the span of time that would have passed by in that state alone.

I frowned down at the bedding covering my legs, absently tapping the tips of my left fingers on my lips as I thought. For a witch, the older they got, the more experience they gained, the more their power grew, and the more powerful they became…

I glared down at the silver floral filigree over the bedding, tracing their lines with my eyes as my mind tried coming up with questions. Finally I turned back to Hezerial, looking him in the eyes.

“Hezerial.” I began.

“Yes my lady.” He replied without missing a beat.

“I need you to answer me truthfully, and not hide any truths that I ask for.”

Hezerial lowered himself down on one knee, bowing his head. “I am bound by oath to follow you and your instructions without fail until the day should you or I fade my lady. Shall I consider any orders concerning information given in the past nullified given the current circumstances?” He asked.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded my head, feeling a little queasy, a memory of him doing something similar at a different time tickling at the back of my mind. Throwing up images of destruction, of fire and screams and me standing above it all, with my guardian kneeling behind me…

“Do you know why I wanted to forget?”

Hezerial looked down for a minute. “Some lifetimes pass without much difficulty, while others can become unbearably difficult.” He answered simply.

“So I basically wanted to forget everything I had gone through and live normally?”

“That is my belief, My Lady. You never conveyed your thoughts to me, only your orders to not divulge your pasts to your new incarnations. But the circumstances have changed completely now.”

I looked down at one of my upturned palms. To think that so many years and so much time had passed without me ever meeting my Final Stop. I was sure that there must have been many people that had left me behind while I kept on living, lifetime after lifetime.

Hezerial looked up at me with a sad wry smile, like he knew exactly what I was thinking about. “Time is but a fickle thing in the scope of the bigger possibilities my lady. You did not disclose your own full history to me, your guardian. All I can say from when I first met you, is that you lived in the times where the now fabled creatures of mortal myths lived and thrived in abundance alongside the witches. You certainly lived in the times of the old elements. You were a Filandria, as well as a Dragorni, flying on the backs of your winged companions. Your phoenix and dragon.”

The images of those previous dreams I’ve had, came flashing through my mind again, and the meaning of those names burst like a bubble of information. A Filandria, a phoenix rider, a person who is trusted and linked with a phoenix’s power, thoughts and heart. That image of the massive beak in my hands stirred in my mind, as well as the smell of burning iron and the sensation of gentle heat.

A Dragorni, a dragon rider, someone chosen by a dragon, linked and trusted with his/her thoughts, feelings and power, the same as with a phoenix. The dream of me riding the back of the pearly white and gold beauty called Lerina, in a battle to the death with a rival tribe…

The stab of loss shot right through my heart, powerful enough to leave me gasping. My sweet Lerina… *Her cry of pain had me abandoning my fight on the ground with the ones that had been following us. I rushed to her even though a blade had embedded itself into my back. She was thrashing, her neck was bleeding, and her wing was broken, but she kept snapping and roaring in a fighting rage…*

My loving Phoenix… *Rusty red feathers smothered my face as I held on for dear life as we were chased through the air. In the air I glanced back and lifted one of my hands. Flames shot out from my palms, fuelled by the magic that coursed through the soft warm body beneath me. I screamed out my frustrations as we were losing ground. I won’t let them take Roku away from me, I won’t!*

The next thing I knew, my shoulders were being shaken slightly and diamond blue eyes were looking at me worriedly. “My lady, are you alright?” Hezerial asked fervently.

Tears started rolling down my face as I felt the places inside of me that Lerina and Roku had occupied… who knew how long ago. These memories weren’t me imagining things, they were real. Those bonds were real. I really did lose them…

I sobbed as I looked into Hezerial’s worried face, and I choked out, “Lerina and Rocku … I’ll never see them again will I?” I asked brokenly, already knowing the answer, but hoping that my angelic guardian might give me a different one, a different outcome, although I already knew…

His face grew sad. “You have asked me that once before My Lady, but I’m afraid I still do not know the answer. You might only be able to see them again once you make the Final Stop yourself.” He answered, looking at me with apologetic eyes. Eyes that had probably seen so much, and knew so much, but some things, not even an angel could tell me.

My heart squeezed at the thought of how many more lifetimes I might have to live before that would happen for me. How many more lifetimes would I have to live with the guilt, to live with the heartache? I sobbed again and leaned forward so my forehead touched Hezerial’s shoulder.

My guardian stiffened for a second, probably not knowing what to do. But then his arms circled around my shoulders, and he just allowed me to cry.