Chapter 16

**Clary**


My blurry eyes slowly focused on the square piece of fabric as he pulled it away and softly cursed under his breath. Well, it seemed like my nose was bleeding again.

“Don’t know.” My head was hurting so much I could barely think. I gave him a feeble smile. “Maybe not?”

He looked grim as he tightened his hand around my waist, feeling my whole body’s trembling. “Come on, we’re going home. I’m sorry but you’ll have to hold out for a little while longer. It’s going to get a little worse before it gets better.”

I blinked at him, trying to get the fuzzy image of him to focus so I could have a proper look at his expression, but it didn’t help much at all. So I just nodded at him and before I knew it, I felt the same pressure around my body as when I was in the car, and then we were standing in a room that had white walls, big windows, huge cabinets lining the walls, plants on the sills, and many pale stiff beds.

I blinked. We were in the infirmary, at the Order. We were at the Order, I was home. I touched one of the nearby beds and felt the solid material, the stiff and smooth texture of it. It was really real.

Before I could completely let it sink into my muddled and pain filled mind, Noch propelled us towards a set of sturdy wooden double doors. They swung open before us and I saw many faces in the well-lit room.

For a second there was a beat of silence, then at once I saw a beautiful brunette woman starting to rush towards me, but before she could get close enough a young woman with silver blonde hair shoved her out of the way and flung her arms around me. The hug was awkward since I was still being supported by Noch.

“You’re back!” She yelled in joy as she half giggled-half sobbed. Suddenly I was in the infirmary again, but a much older looking infirmary…

*“You really have to stop sparring with him, heaven knows you two are bad for each other’s health.” Nelia said, wrapping up my newly set wrist.
I winced when she was none too gentle in tucking in the end. “Ag, it’s fun. Plus it keeps us both in shape. I have yet to go on a bounty and meet someone who can fight as well as Noch.” I said, smiling sweetly.
Nelia just looked at me with a tenderly peeved look.*

She had my face in her hands, studying my face and features. “Nelia?” I asked. She positively beamed. She opened her mouth to say something but was shoved out of the way by the brunette woman before anything could get past her lips.

She wrapped her arms around me too. She was tall, “You had me so worried you little cretin.” She hugged me so lightly yet so tenderly.

*“Try these on.” She held out a green cape and a new pair of boots to me. I was small… holding a scythe in my hands…*

“Nana?” I breathed. She bubbled out a laugh and hugged me more tightly before she pulled away with a smile. My head was reeling with pain, my eyes were starting to swim, making everything appear like a smeared canvas. I caught sight of a man with white hair standing not too far behind Nana Ara.

*He hugged me tight when he found me crying underneath one of the staircases. His white beard tickling the side of my face as I burrowed into his chest. He reminded me so much of my Pah…*

“F-Fog.” I stammered out, not knowing anymore what exactly was memory and what was the reality right in front of me at that moment. I also caught sight of Thyrion standing close to Fog, worry etched in every line of his face and body.

“Thyrion.” I breathed.

*I was being pulled along, gripping his hand tightly as we jogged into the forest in the dead of night. The fireflies were bobbing lazily around the trees by the waterfall. He suddenly stopped and spun me around, making me laugh and hugged me close to his chest. His mouth came down on mine…*

My legs gave way from beneath me, my eyes squeezed shut with the pain flooding through my head and neck now. I heard a sudden commotion around me. I think I was sweating, I could feel my shirt clinging to my back and sides as I was moved and lifted onto something hard and cushioned with what felt like a cloth.

My heart was racing in my chest, I put a palm over it and gripped the material of my shirt, struggling to breathe around the frantic pumping of my heart. A cool hand settled over my fist and calmness flooded my system.

I pried open my eyes, now being able to smell the scent of blood in my nose and feeling it dry on my upper lip. It was Nelia… my sister. She was standing over me smoothing my hair off of my clammy face with her other hand. I blinked up at her. “It’s going to be okay, don’t worry.” She said, looking me in the eyes.

I lifted an eyebrow at her. I wasn’t worried, I was in pain. “Hurts, n-not worrying.” I managed to get out of my tight throat. Nelia blinked at me then smiled ruefully.

I heard a snort from my right, and saw Noch lighting a candle with runes in-scripted on its sides and glowing on its waxy surface. “She doesn’t know when to stop retorting, does she?” He said, throwing a smile my way.

I pointed a shaky finger at him and lifted my head to reply to that remark but a stab of pain shot down my spine at the movement and left me incapacitated on the table again.

“Don’t move around.” I heard Thyrion say from above me. I looked up and saw him standing over me by my head. He cupped his hands on each side of my face. “In a bit it might hurt more than it’s hurting right now, but trust us okay? Hopefully after this you’ll never have to go through this again.” He kissed my forehead and another image of me and him together flashed through my mind, messing up my equilibrium of what was memory and what was real again.

*My head was in his lap, he was bent over me smiling, playing with my long hair and weaving wild daisies into it as we sat at the river’s edge. I reached up and cupped his face with one of my hands. “I love you.”*

“- love you.” Whispered through my mouth as I felt the stubble of his chin on my fingertips. My skin was flushing hot and cold as the memory gave way to reality again. The sight of my pale hand jarred me for a second before I remembered where I was.

His face strained with love and agony as he cupped his hand over mine, turned his face and kissed the palm of my hand.

“You have to stand back now, Thyrion. We are starting.” Fog came into view, his eyes looking mysteriously misty as he laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. I smiled as best I could at him.

“Missed you, Fog.” I said as my hand was laid back down on the cloth. He smiled and bent down to kiss me on my cheek.

“I missed you too child.” He said and moved back, taking up a spot by one of the big clear quartz crystals that shone a pale gold with charged energy.

Thyrion moved to behind him and stared at me like he wanted nothing more than to bundle me up and take me away where I wouldn’t hurt anymore. Where I wouldn’t have to go through what I was going to go through in a moment.

Nana Ara moved to my side with a thick leather bound book that looked ancient. Something about it nagged at my mind, a word floating up from fragments. Necromancers…

As she started chanting from the book, I felt energies starting to invade my body. I shuddered with the feel of it and felt a hand suddenly holding one of mine. I looked over and saw Nelia giving me a reassuring smile. I felt my body go slightly numb and sighed, sinking into the feeling.

I closed my eyes and had a flash of a memory flitting through my head.

*My hands were lifted, a brown and red golden beak lowered and rested itself in my palms. His beak was huge, swallowing my hands even though I was holding it. Running my fingers up and down the sides of his sharp curved beak I felt his warm breath blowing onto my face…*

My eyes snapped open again, I didn’t want to be flooded with the memories again. I didn’t want it to hurt more than it is hurting right now.

“Don’t fight it Merianna.” Nana Ara said from my side. “It’ll be easier if you just let it flow.”

I swallowed down a nervous breath and then relaxed again into the table, closing my eyes again. I trusted Nana, I trusted Nelia, I trusted Fog, Noch and Thyrion. I was sure that everything would work out just fine. Clearly they had been preparing for this.

Everything was quite fine for a while. The searching and urging energies were uncomfortable but my headache didn’t get worse as they worked. Not until the energies snatched onto a thread, two threads, three…

I nearly jack-knifed off of the table. If it weren’t for Nelia holding me down and healing … healing, I don’t know what, but whatever was happening to my body with this ritual, it hurt.

My soul felt like it was being skinned. The energies opened up a hole into that which sat cocooning a bright ball of life, energy and history … a whole lot of history, inside of me. There was a feeling of vastness that assaulted my senses as layers of dark energy were being peeled off of my soul.

As I felt like I was being mauled on a level that wasn’t physical, I screamed. My body thrashed, trying to escape the feeling. Slowly I was being picked apart. The layer that Nana was peeling off of me, the threads that Nana Ara was disconnecting me from felt awful. Like bits of skin that were being peeled off along with hot tar that had been poured all over my skin. I had never known that this was all over me, I had never known of what was being suppressed inside of me. But as I felt myself getting ‘lighter’, I felt a sense of dread over what was being unveiled...

“STOP!” I screeched, my head twisting left and right. I’m going to die. I’m going to die, and this time not because of the curse…

I screamed and tried to break away from Nelia’s hold on me, but I felt more hands joining hers on my burning skin. I couldn’t make out the words that were being flung around above me, the buzzing sound of my blood rushing through my head was drowning out all of it.

I tried to get away from the incantation, tried keeping what was behind the cocoon sealed up. I tried to stop the tears of pain from running hot and burning down my face. My head felt swollen to agonizing proportions, I felt blood streaming from my nose now, not just trickling. I even felt a slow crawl of something liquid down my ears.

Something was shoved into my mouth. I hadn’t even noticed that my jaws were clenching convulsively now. A hand rested on my cheek, then a cold lavender and blood scented cloth was being whipped over my forehead.

I groaned and balked, trying in vain to get away.

I was getting tired, and without any warning, I felt a snap. My eyes flew open wide, agony ripped through me like blades. I was reminded of what mince would feel like when it went through the mincer. Horn sized daggers of pain assaulted my entire being.

Energy cascaded out from inside of me, burning my physical body with its suddenness nearly breaking my bones in its forceful release. This is what will kill me worse than any curse ever could. Death by my own power…

My jaws cracked open, and I screamed in absolute terror and agony.

The world went black…