CHAPTER 56 (1)

There’s nothing like the morning after a night that doesn’t end. Last night I rewrote the final song for the musical completely while staring at the studio before falling asleep in my chaise lounge, my notebook on my lap. The fog I’ve been wrestling with cleared and I accomplished what I’ve been trying to for months. I was so sure of it, I took a screenshot and sent it off to Miranda Tamayo last night. When the sun comes up, a slice of vibrant orange on the horizon, the paper is on the patio next to my chair. My phone buzzes with a message from my writing partner. It’s short and sweet. Miranda: That’s it. Satisfaction and pride settle in me as I shift out of the chair, rubbing a hand through my hair. The tile cool under my bare feet, I stretch my sore muscles, thinking of the routine I’ve established since I returned from New York. Helping with Sophia in the morning, taking her to school. Hanging with Haley when my dad’s working, half to keep an eye on her and half because she’s fun and super smart and the kind of woman I want to be. Dropping in on Timothy around lunch—midafternoon if I can wait that long—to hang out, which often ends with us sweaty and naked. But yesterday he played me Shane’s track, which is sounding freaking awesome, plus a couple of new bands he’s thinking about sending to my dad. I teased him about being a wannabe A&R guy. “When I dream, I dream of us.” When he said the words, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let him go. Because I love spending time with him. I love how he is with Shane, how she’s slowly dragging him out of his own head where his music is concerned. He’s so different than he was when we broke up, and better still for having spent these weeks here. And so am I. I’m more comfortable with myself. I don’t have every answer, and I’m okay with that. I’m not afraid someone will accuse me of not being capable enough to write a musical, or star in a show, or be unreasonable because I want to be in the spotlight and be part of a family. Dad and I can have a conversation one-on-one, not just be civil for a meal, I like helping Haley and Sophia, and most of all I love that the only guy who’s ever owned my heart is right here. I considered walking away from my dreams to run after Timothy two years ago, and it would’ve been a mistake. He needed the space to figure out a new normal, and I needed to prove to myself I could hack it in the city. So what if this time is different? I head upstairs and take a shower, luxuriating in the hot steam for a few minutes before I pull on jean shorts and a tank top and head to Sophia’s room. I crack the pink curtains before dropping to my knees next to the bed. I tickle her face. “Good morning. Time for daycare, Soph.” She wrinkles her nose and swats my hand. “It’s not.” Her sleepy mumble has me laughing. “It is.” “Sing me a song.” I start to, and her eyes blink open. “I don’t know that one.” I brush the hair back from her face. “No one does yet. I wrote it.” “Sing more.” “When you get up.” She’s out of bed in a second. If my audiences are as receptive as Sophie, maybe this new show has a shot. She picks out her clothes, and I pull her hair back and braid it, the only part she’ll let me do. When we get downstairs, there’s a figure looming at the sliding doors. “Timothy!” Sophia runs over, pressing up on her toes to stubbornly work the lock until she can let him in. “Thanks, Sunshine Sophia.” His hands are full of a huge basket with fancy decaf and other treats, which he lifts. “For Haley.” “What about for me?” Sophia prompts. I’m about to tell her we’re making her cereal, but Timothy frowns and rummages in the basket, pulling out a purple plastic truck. “I don’t see anything for you.” She jumps on the toy. “I got it in LA, but it’s been living in my hotel room ever since,” he murmurs to me. My stomach twists, every part of me tingling. “I love you,” I blurt. Timothy’s smile freezes. He squares to face me, his handsome face surprised and pleased. “I love you too.” The words sink into my skin, my bones, my soul. I want to hear him say it again. “I love you both,” Sophia says solemnly, and I can’t help laughing as Timothy ruffles her hair. “All right, time for cereal,” I say, heading for the cupboards. Sophia runs toward the front door before I can argue, comes back a moment later with shoes, and drops them at Timothy’s feet. “Shoes first.” Apparently, she’s decided she wants him at her beck and call. Can’t say I blame her. “Shoes at the same time,” Timothy counters. She hops into her chair and puts on her bib. “Sing your song for Timothy,” she commands as she starts to munch. I sing, pouring a black coffee for me and one with cream for Timothy. When I turn back to him, mug in hand, he’s watching with fascination. “That’s it,” Timothy murmurs when I finish. “Funny. Miranda said the same thing.” As Timothy and I drink our coffees and Sophia finishes her cereal, my dad comes down the steps and takes in the scene. “Daddy!” She scoots out of her chair and into his arms. “Emily wrote a song. It’s the best song.” “Emily writes all the best songs,” Dad responds. “How would you know?” I toss. “My favorite is this one.” He starts to sing one from my other musical and Sophia squeals in delight. “Let’s get you to school, kid,” he tells Sophia once he finishes. I’m still struggling with the emotion that comes from realizing he knows one of my songs. It never occurred to me that he did. But as my gaze finds Timothy’s, I know he can see it all on my face. “How’s Haley?” I ask Dad as Sophia finishes her breakfast and goes to grab her backpack. “Tired but in good spirits. I shouldn’t be going to this party in LA.” I cross to him and squeeze his arm. “It’ll be okay. Serena’s coming tomorrow to stay, so she, Haley, Sophia, and I can do a girls’ night. Besides, everyone’s going to this party, right?” “Yeah.” He nods in response, giving me a one-armed hug. “So, maybe Shane should go.” Dad looks between me and Timothy as I hold my breath. “Yes,” Dad decides. “Shane should go.” Timothy shoves both hands in his pockets. “I’ll let her know.”