19. Coward

I lingered in the bath longer than necessary, unashamedly too. It was absolutely heavenly- I didn't even know muscles could relax this way. Two minutes in the deliciously warm liquid and I came to a firm conclusion: every girl needs an Aster.
I don't think I've ever heard of a faerie who's been generous to a human being this long without getting a couple of decades of servitude, the promise of a firstborn or maybe a story hour featuring the human's deepest darkest secrets but I knew Aster was different. The faeries that pulled those kind of tricks certainly weren't in the same league as Aster, Aster who was all about honor and valor and ridding the world of slimy weaklings. It was easier to imagine her cutting a person's head off than sitting at a window sill with a dark hood, beckoning an unsuspecting mortal to spill their secrets.
Even that last image ended with Aster scoffing before the human could speak, barking off a biting comment and leaping off into the night.
I realized I was beginning to doze off. I must've been in here for half an hour but the water was still the same temperature it had been when I first got in. Magic maybe? With a regretful sigh, I dragged myself out. I pulled the drain, dumping the flower petals in the bin and dried myself off, snuggled on a big hooded sweatshirt that stopped above the knee.
The air outside the bathroom was cool on my exposed skin, the bath's scents drifting pleasantly around me. The living room was empty when I checked, not a sign of anyone. I found my cookies on the kitchen counter, already cooled and in a closed plate. I munched on one on my way to Mom's room. I knocked. No answer. I opened the door, found the small tidy room empty.
I sighed, retreated to my own lair. I paused outside- there was a bright green posted note on my door. Clumsy words that looked rushed were scrawled on it: I'm sorry if I upset you. I'll see you at the party.
If I upset you. If.
I crumbled the note in my palm, the relaxing effects from the bath gone. It seemed the more I dwelled on Aster's story, the more ugly faults I dug up. Disturbing comments during conversations from long ago, those tiny but seemingly hostile side glances. It was too much. Too crazy, I mean, she was my mom.
The one who never took your side. The one who didn't care if you went to school or not. The one whose gaze slid right over your bruises.
I sighed, shutting out the suspicious voice in my head. I opened my bedroom door and stepped in- the same moment Kane slunk into my open window.
I blinked once, turned for the doorway- only to have the door slammed shut in my face. A hard, warm body pressed me into the wood and suddenly pine and cologne was mixing with honey and berries.
Two arms went up at both my sides, a whisper brushing against my ear. "Don't run, I'll chase."
"Stop chasing," I grumbled.
"Can't do that."
The way he said it, low, measured, made it sound like a promise.
I cleared my throat. "What are you doing here?"
He shifted his head, nose brushing against my quickening pulse. "Wanted to see you. You smell good."
I scrunched my nose. "I hate you."
"I'll work on changing that," he said lowly. Then the grazing turned to a nip.
My knees buckled. He caught me at the waist, his voice suddenly flat. "Quite the reaction for someone you hate."
I shoved away from him with a growl. "You stupid womanizing douchebag! Would you stop playing around?"
Kane stared down at me, expression giving away nothing. He looked like he was watching some boring sitcom, not someone who'd been- been. Ugh. I gritted my teeth in aggravation.
He lifted a shoulder. "Alright," he said with that same bored expression, lifting his arms. "Go ahead."
I gave him a confused look. "Go ahead?"
He stepped closer, arms still open. "Toy with me too. That'll settle the score, right?"
My eyes darted towards the window.
Lean hands caught my wrist. "No running. Here." He moved closer until the tip of his shoes touched my bare feet. He lifted my imprisoned hand, slipped it under his black shirt.
There was that jolt again, the buzzing delight of having skin against skin. If he felt it too, he didn't show it- not on his face anyway. He watched me with glittering eyes. Waiting.
My fingers moved of their own volition, tentatively, slowly searching. I felt the firm muscle under my fingertips shiver. Ian was right, it felt like he had some solid abs.
"He was right," Kane said dryly.
I looked up at him, startled. "What?"
He glared. "Magic disguise or not, you're lucky you didn't touch him."
I gasped. "You were watching?"
Almost impatiently, he pulled my hand upwards, lids lowering ever so slightly. "Mates share a connection, a bond out of pack. If I concentrate, I can feel your emotions, hear your thoughts, see memories."
Horrified, embarrassed beyond imagination, I snatched my hand away, ready to jump out the window for certain now. Kane grabbed it again, dragged me against him. His arms curled around my waist, firmly, but the ice in his eyes had melted.
"Don't be embarrassed, I'm not going to use any of it against you," he said, voice grave.
I scoffed. "How noble of you! As if I don't have any reason to doubt you."
"Don't yell at me," he said coolly, the ice back.
Stunned, I only stared up at him. Don't yell at him? Don't yell at him? I was going to-
Before I knew it, I had my right hand fisted, flying towards that sculpted face. He caught the fist inches from his cheek- but not the one aimed at his stomach. He grunted, stumbled back a step. The punch would've sent a lesser opponent across the room, stupid abs...
I backed away from him, taking a defensive stance.
He blinked at me, shocked I had swung at him or shocked I'd actually got him, I wasn't certain.
"Didn't Jett tell you not to do that?" He asked.
I shrugged. "He said not in public."
His grin was slow, devious. "I guess I'll do what I want as well."
And then he dove for me.
In a flash, I pictured what he was going to do- what larger opponents usually did; tackle, pin and conquer.
Well, not exactly conquer, I blushed, sidestepping out of his path. Or not the conquer he had in mind.
He landed on the floor, sans Ember beneath him. I sprung back a few steps as he easily got to his feet, blue eyes electric.
He advanced a step. "Do you know what I'm going to do when I catch you?"
I threw the chair at him.
Kane batted it away.
He raised a dark brow. "So we both like throwing things."
"We've got nothing in common," I growled, gesturing towards myself with both hands. "I'm a lowly omega, remember?"
"Not lowly, but you're right, I'm not a coward like you," he said, "keep running, why don't you, little girl?"
For a moment all I saw was red, only distinctively aware that I was running towards him. The blood pounded in my ears. He didn't look worried. Well, not for long.
I swung my right foot, throwing behind it all the strength I had bottled up in my five foot six inch furious female body. Kane's arm came up, taking the brunt of my kick- then his fingers were around my ankle.
I wobbled, cursing. His fingers held tightly onto my foot, and then those sapphire eyes were on my exposed thigh, scorching a path downwards.
It wasn't only anger that had me shivering and I hated it, hated it enough to scream as I locked both my hands together and threw them upwards- hitting him square in the jaw with a crack. Blood gushing from his lips, he moved away from me.
I regained my balance, watched him wiping his mouth as he leveled me with a glower.
"You're unreasonable," he gritted out.
I scoffed. "I'm sure you know all about being unreasonable."
He stopped glowering, something unreadable flashing on his face. It was gone before I could decipher it.
"Ember," he began, stepping my way.
I held up a hand, fingers slightly crooked from the hit. "Did you think some flirting, a few sweet words would fool me into liking you? I'm not stupid, Wilder. Get out of my bedroom."
Kane stalked to my window, blood smeared at his lips, scowling. "You'll come back to me one way or the other," he said coldly. He swooped out the window, as graceful as a panther.
I stood there for a couple of heartbeats. The laugh that jumped out of my throat was bitter, more of a bark than a sound of amusement.
I picked up the chair and brought it to my desk, eyes once again finding the listening device. There was no place for me here.
Coward. Keep running.
I laughed again, this time more weakly. Running away from Wilder and straight to his cousin for help. Like a weak, spineless coward.
I sat in the chair, still smelling of flowers and dreams but feeling nothing but rotten inside. No matter how wronged I felt, no matter how awful they treated me, it wasn't right to let them twist me into something worse than I already was. But what else could I do?
I set aside my feelings, dug out my sketch pad and pencil from the drawer. I paused to straighten the crooked joints in my fingers and then I was sketching, cutting through my muddled thoughts with each dash of the pencil.
I agreed to put a spying device in Kane's office. A traitorous task in exchange for my so called 'freedom'. But a freedom I wasn't obtaining myself, with my own two-clean- hands, was that a freedom to be proud of at all? And since when did I start looking for the easy ways out of anything?
The pencil went over the paper smoothly, up, down.
Betraying my pack because I was bitter and blinded by selfishness, was that something I really wanted? Sure it was just planting a spying device but what would the others think if they knew? What would Kane think? Worse, what would Ian, Rick, Jett and Aster think of me?
My fingers jerked to the side- a jagged line cutting across the fine lines of pencil. I erased it with caution, dipping back into my thoughts.
I loved Seattle. I promised myself I'd work hard to acquire my happiness, taking the easy way out, backstabbing others- wasn't my way. I wouldn't do it. I wasn't going to be the traitorous Ember I hated. I was going to stay here, was going to face my problems. Cutting ties with Kane was first on my list, after that I'll meet Alpha. I'll have him know the deal was off but I'd help him in some other way, in return for any information he had on this mysterious enemy. And if this person was coming after me like Ian said, then he- like Kane- was in for a nasty surprise.
I nodded, feeling a sure calm and security I've never felt before. Then it came to me abruptly.
I fought Kane and punched him- twice. All without a mask.