Shared Pain

**Natalie POV**
***TRIGGER WARNING***

Quietly, I excused myself. Somewhere behind me, I heard Trevor argue back and forth with the old man. Within their conversation, Trevor called the old man a royal advisor several times. I kept myself busy boxing up Queen Sekai's cookies. Yanking off a sash on Aileen's dress, I tied a bow around the box. This had to get the King out of the dog house, so to speak.
"My prince, please reconsider. You can marry Princess Lydia quickly and return to your whore after."
Trevor gritted his teeth. "Do NOT call my sweet Cupcake that!" Did he have to use such embarrassing words? "You love your princess so much you'd be okay with a man taking his lover to bed?"
"Most men do! She will understand. I am protecting the future of Krennan!" He was completely red-faced now.
I drew too much attention lately, so I chose to wait by the oven and change the smoke's trajectory to hide behind.
"It would be beneficial to you with your shortcomings in protecting the princesses. Constantly leaving Princess Lydia's well-being in the hands of others. Thankfully she was safer than your sister. I saw Princess Aileen Lutz-Vernen in the healing hall. The royal physician had his hands full last night."
Still seething, Trevor informed the man, "I was in charge of finding the correct men to guard Princess Lydia. MY job is to hunt down the assassin."
"And a tremendous job you are doing! The royal banquet was attacked, and he got away." The old man talked in a condescending tone. "Not to mention what you did to that poor Izzy girl. Did you need to let off some steam so badly you would take a girl unwillingly?"
What did he just say?
"What did you just imply?" Trevor growled out animalistically. I could see his aura was spiky and deep blue. He was barely in control of his element. "Don't you ever lower me to a rapist's level! When I find the assassin, that will be one of the crimes he pays for!"
Izzy was…forced again…
"Either way, It was a waste of the physician's time. The poor girl lost a lot of blood when she attempted suicide."
She tried to- No, Izzy, you better still be alive!
Advisor Recarad had the sense to leave. He may not be able to see auras at will, but he could feel the hostility in the air. Trevor was still scowling where the old advisor had been standing.
The second he left, I bolted to Trevor. "What happened to Izzy?" I asked, not wanting to believe that man's words. I had to mentally remind myself I would follow my observations instead of letting others mislead me.
"She's my friend. Please…" I added when I saw Trevor hesitate.
He chewed on his lip for a moment, thinking over his words. "I found her in the assassin's hideout. She was hurt badly and scared worse than you of me. I took her to the physician."
"Thank you for getting her to a doctor." A heavy lump had formed in my throat. I was barely able to speak.
"I had no idea she was your friend. You should go to her." He put a hand on my shoulder with a fake smile plastered on his face. "I'll finish the cookies and join you soon."
It was hard to make out his words. So much adrenaline for my friend's suffering boiled in my veins. I needed to punch something, someone. The assassin had touched her, had injured her, and taken her. He was dead! No one hurts those close to me and walks away. I'll show the bastard what a skilled assassin's daughter could do. I was a true artist at this hit-and-run game. Any of Diana's men would warn him; if they were still breathing.
"Don't forget this time. I'm here for you, Cupcake." His fingers brushed over my eyes gingerly.
The fact he was willing to stay behind was the world to me. "I've waited so long to be with my true love, but I'm glad I have you now."
I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and raced for the royal physician's office.
Anxiety nipped at me with every passing second. I only paused long enough to ask a man wearing a heavy gold chain around his neck how close I was to the physician's office. I had a general idea but wasn't certain.
My foot tapped impatiently while he took in my appearance. He narrowed his eyes, searching for something in the lace near my bosom. I took a glance down to ensure he wasn't just being a privileged pervert. In the lace pattern, there was a tree placed above my heart. Upon seeing the symbol, the wealthy jerk paled. He mumbled an apology 'my princess' and pointed to the right door. I was close. I didn't bother to thank him or correct him. He'd only helped me because he didn't know what Princess Aileen looked like.
Running, I glimpsed the door opening just seconds before crashing into a tall, scrawny old man. For such a lean figure, he was surprisingly strong. He was unphased or moved by my collision. The man wasn't upset either. Rather, he appeared genuinely worried.
"Izzy," I said her name praying he understood why I was here.
To my delight, he did. "A friend? Very well, another girl will be good for her. No one can get close while she's conscious, including me. The poor girl needs someone she can trust."
A lump that had to be my friend was on the bed about five feet from the door. I rushed to her side, internally battling with the urge to remove all the blankets she curled herself inside of. Despite the fact I was a woman, any sudden motions could send her into hysteria. I had seen it firsthand multiple times when she had nightmares. My only choice was to observe my friend's covered balled-up form.
At least she was alive. There was slight stirring under the covers. I sat on the stool and waited. *Keep calm. She'll become frightened if you let the demon's instinct to protect her in control. She needs to come out on her own.*
Hours passed with nothing happening with Izzy. Whenever she twitched in her sleep, I got excited, thinking she would awaken. I was getting impatient to see her. To know if she was broken again or if I could keep her out of the darkness. For my own sanity, I began reciting everything that had calmed her in the past. I did this on repeat for an additional hour. It was at least something to keep my mind busy. That's when a miracle happened.
Timidly, the top of her head poked out. Sweat plastered her hair to her forehead; still, she clung to the heavy blankets like life support. Her gaze wandered around the room. Her body tensed up at seeing a lady checking her nails near the corner, but she became terrified at the sight of a man. Izzy buried her head again until the physician said he and the girl would leave us alone for a while. At the squeak from the door closing, her head re-emerged once again.
"Natalie." Tears slid down her cheeks. Grabbing onto my dress, she sobbed loudly. "I… I'm sorry…so sorry, Natalie. Forgive me…"
Izzy was hyperventilating and wheezing. "It's okay. I'm here. I'll protect you, I swear…" My voice was cracking badly, but I had to hold it together for her.
She began shaking again and clung tighter to me. "I hate this…always being so weak. Teach me…please."
"You're not weak." No, she was the most compassionate and strongest woman I knew. Shutting off to the rest of the world and hardening yourself is easy. Staying kind is true strength.
Since I got here, she looked up at me for the first time. Crying left her eyes glossy and her face bright pink. She was sniffling, trying to gain some kind of composure. "I am…You saved me…so many times…and I just make you…suffer… I'm doing it…again…you look so…hurt."
"Izzy, don't talk like that." The way she was acting, combined with what the royal advisor said, had me apprehensive. "Can I sit with you? Ya know, it might make you feel safer than those blankets."
Making room on the bed, Izzy rolled over, taking her blankets with her. Cautiously, I moved my hands around her, pulling my friend to my chest. A faint smile formed on my face when she nuzzled further into my embrace. Relief filled me when her breathing steadied at the physical contact.
"You can talk to me whenever you feel comfortable. Take your time."
In broken sentences, she explained, "I was brought here by Trevor… but couldn't handle…what that man…did to me…and is going to...when he comes back...I sliced open my wrists…hoping to die…I couldn't handle the fear…the pain…anymore."
Hearing her confirm what that man said was acid in my ears.
"…when I woke…up again…I was covered in more…bandages, be...beside me the K…King was visiting his daughter...she was injured too… Pr…princess Aileen cou- couldn't look at me. She…acted weirdly…but gave me a sad smile…when she left…King Ulrich light…lightly smacked the back of my head. Wa…wait… don't get mad, honestly... it was good, you see…he said I was being selfish…that if I had someone who loved me… I would hurt them…that someone he loved…almost committed suicide…it nearly destroyed him…well I…thought of you. And all you've ever done…is save me…even with Diana. And I…I just… you're finally speaking again like before that day… and it's not because of me… I'm the reason your…fighting back tears. I could never help you."
All I did was hold her while she confided in me slowly.
"When King Ulrich…finished scolding me for trying to take my life…and left I…I couldn't stop remembering…that day…they ffff….fforced me in in front of you… I watched Diana beating you…the stripes the whip left in your…skin…the disgust when she touched…you in..in…intimately, but you…you cried for…me. You held back your screams until your lips…bled…so I wouldn't hear your suffering…you only looked…at me and those men… you stared at them as if memorizing their…features...even while she beat you. After you…were so strong…for me…never complaining about your pain…but always listening to mine."
It was the first time we were tortured together. The memory was fresh in my mind too; Diana having her men do unspeakable things to Izzy while whipping me. She took pride in having random people molest me, forcing my body to feel good, while I wept for my friend. Once they had finished their session, I vowed to live by my Mom's teachings. I officially only started speaking in short words and made myself blend into the background. In front of others, I acted obedient and shattered, so no one would suspect I was killing behind the scenes.
I had thrown up the first several monsters I killed and nearly passed out. My mind had slipped into madness at the knowledge I'd taken a life. Then I would get back to my cell. Izzy would always be there.
I shook my head, "No, Izzy, I wasn't strong without you. Everything hurt so much. The pain and humiliation; Diana using my true love against me, filling me with hate and anguish. And that wasn't enough. She started torturing you more. It killed me helplessly watching you while I was toyed with. I wanted to die. But because of you, I could endure it, fight it. The reason I'm alive is you."
Combining a hand through her hair, we silently consoled each other. All the pain we'd shared for so long all came flowing out. Questions didn't matter; she could tell me what she knew at her own comfortable pace. The most important thing was to keep her from shutting down completely.
"Would you like to go for a walk outside?" Being out in the fresh air was something we were never allowed to do under Diana's mark. Now we were free to bask in the sunshine. Nature's value is often overlooked but does wonder for mental health. A soft curl of her lips proved she liked the idea.
Before we left the room, Izzy put one of the covers over her shoulders, wearing it like a robe. Both her hands were fisted in the blanket.
We didn't speak again until we made it outside. The weather was horribly humid, but Izzy kept wrapped in her covers.
"Teach me, please… I know…you killed those men…sso they couldn't touch me again…teach me to at at least defend myself. I'm s…sick of being a slave. You…you’ll need me."
I halted midstep. No matter what we went through, I hadn't told her. She just knew me enough to figure it out.
"I can teach you how to protect yourself. Every girl should learn anyhow, but," I paused, thinking of a way to reassure her. "Ya know, we're free now. Trevor and I are going to work to defeat the assassin. Just keep it quiet about how I dealt with Diana's men, okay? We'll outsmart this conspiracy and you and I will never be slaves again."
"I missed hearing your voice after…that horrible day. You seem…freer today... I'm so happy for you" Izzy looked up at the clouds, reaching a hand towards them. "But…I am a sl slave still. I want to at…least…fight back this…time…so I don't wanna hurt you…and I don’t want you to…I have to be strong for you…when you know…"
Where was all this coming from? "Izzy, no matter what that man said to you last night, you aren't. We're going to be okay ya know. I won't let anyone touch us again."
Two more tears fell as she continued watching clouds. "When I was in the assassin’s…hideout… I heard… I heard them talking…heard his name… then was touched…I feared you, my own friend…tried to kill myself…when you’ll need me the most." She was wheezing and starting to relapse. Focusing on what she needed, I ignored the fearing me part. Like I was really one to judge anyway.
"Izzy, slow down. Don't push yourself. Ya know, for now, let's find somewhere calm to relax in the sun."
"Don't….wanna be sold… And you…they I heard things…written down…information on us...documents... Trevor too...mentioned, but couldn't make out…much, but clearly heard…" Every word was and thought was jumbled all over the place. I couldn't figure out what she was trying to say. Suddenly, Izzy hugged me, as another crying fit took over. "…Natalie…they mentioned your…d..dad."
I knew nothing about the man. All Mom ever said was he left because I was not powerful enough. Apparently he was very disappointed a master assassin would birth someone with a light aura. “Who?” I don’t know why my lips formed the question. The way Izzy was behaving, we knew him and he wasn’t a good man. *I feared you, my own friend. Tried to kill myself.* And she’d repeatedly said I would need her. Who the hell was the man?
“D…D…Demon Lord Darren…he…he’s your…dad…”
I took several steps back. No wonder she was scared. She must have misheard whoever the assassin was talking to. Demon Lord Darren? No way, he couldn’t be. That would mean; no! All the threats he made to me; everything she did to me! Bile burned at my throat, I was going to be sick.
“That would make Diana my sister.”