Chapter 27: What do I want?

Elena’s P.O.V
Landon and I didn’t talk as he drove me back home. Thankfully, Knight and his family had gone by the time we returned. I hadn’t wanted to but Landon had forced me to have some dinner along the way by reminding me that even though I didn’t want to, but my baby needed sustenance. However, when I reached home, my mother was the only one there to welcome us.
“Mom?” I asked, peaking around her to look inside the house. “Where is everyone else?”
“On a little sleepover at your uncle’s.” My mom told me. “I figured we should have a girl’s night since we haven’t had one in so long.”
“I’ll take your leave now then.” Landon told my mother before stepping off the front porch.
“Thank you, Landon. Take care.” My mother called out and Landon waved at us before he entered the car and drove away, leaving me alone with my mom.
“Come now.” My mom opened her arms for me and I don’t know why, or maybe it was just pregnancy hormones, but I went onto them with trembling lips. “Oh, my baby!”
My mother closed the door and took me inside to the living room and there, I sat next to her, wrapped in her arms and just let the tears flow. It felt like a dam had broken inside me and I wasn’t able to stop crying even though I was home, in the comfort of my mother’s arms.
“It’s okay, my baby.” My mother soothed me with her words, running her fingers through my hair gently. “Let it all out. You’ve been so brave, so strong. But you’re home now. Let me take care of you.”
And I did just as she told me. I let it all out, the frustration, the anger, the hurt, the betrayal…everything. It all came in the form of my tears as I told her what had happened from start to finish. I don’t know how long I cried in my mother’s arms, but when I finally had no more tears left to cry, it was past midnight and my mother’s shirt was soaked.
“You should change.” I told her sniffling.
Smiling, she took a paper napkin and dabbed my face with it. “And you should take a shower; freshen up.”
“Okay.”
I got up from the sofa with my mother’s help and went into my childhood room to take a shower. It looked exactly the same as I had left it over three years ago. Lilac colored walls, lavender bed sheets and my giant teddy that had been my birthday gift from Landon…the first ever present he gave me.
Trying not to dwell too much in the past, I took a quick shower and changed into some comfy PJ’s from my closet. I was surprised to find that not only did they fit, but they were now a bit loose thanks to all the weight management during my modeling years. I guess I should start eating a bit more now since I was eating for two.
When I came out from my room, I found my mother in the kitchen. The entire room smelled absolutely heavenly and even though I had eaten dinner, my stomach growled in delight.
“You haven’t had dinner yet?” I asked my mom as I came to sit on the dining table. Now I felt guilty for having delayed her dinner. Mom was always so busy and she hardly had time for herself, but she had always made time for me and big brother.
“Oh, don’t worry. I ate before you arrived but I’m heating up the leftovers.” She plated the contents of the pan into two plates. “I thought some midnight snack would be nice. Hungry?”
“Famished!” I told her. “Thanks, mom.”
“You’re welcome, love.” She handed me a plate of steaming hot pasta carbonara and a glass of what looked like alcohol, but when I frowned, she shook her head. “It’s apple juice for you and wine for me.”
Smiling, I dug into my dish and after three long years, it felt amazing to taste my mom’s home-cooked meals. It’s always been tradition in our house that whenever it was a holiday, the boys would don their aprons and mom cooked dinner on weeknights.
“Feeling better?” Mom asked when I finished my second dinner.
“A lot.” I sighed. “When I was in LA, I felt so helpless…I don’t feel that way here.”
“It’s because you have family here, baby.” Mom patted my hair affectionately. “You don’t have to feel alone or lonely.”
“Mom…why did you send Landon to bring me here?” I asked, because that question had been bugging me since I first saw him. “He didn’t keep any contact with me for three years and then he suddenly shows up?”
“Well, Landon himself insisted on going.” Mom sighed. “I know what happened between the two of you when you left, but both of you were too proud to admit your faults and patch up. It’s common for young people your age to act impulsive and make rash decisions, but in the last three years, there has never been a single day in which he hadn’t mentioned your name. He hadn’t been seeing anyone that much I can confirm and he really does seem to miss you. First love is hard to forget.”
“I know…but I don’t think I’m ready right now.” I shook my head. “We have always been impulsive together.”
“Reminds me of myself and your dad.” Mom laughed. “Now, tell me about Knight. Do you have feelings for him?”
“I don’t.” I shook my head instantly. “Maybe we can be friends in the long term but his reasons for wanting to marry me all of a sudden isn’t all that appealing. Our entire relationship started with a lie.”
“That I can understand, but I think you should talk to him.” Mom told me, taking my hand in hers. “Communication can solve a lot of problems.”
“Which ‘him’ exactly are you referring to here?” I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Both, actually.” Mom gave me a sheepish smile. “But I think you should talk to Knight first in case he ends up doing something stupid once again.”
“I’ll meet up with him tomorrow.” The sooner I got this done, the better for everyone.
“Good.” Mom told me. “Now, let’s get some rest. You have a big day ahead of you.”
“Can I sleep with you…on your bed?” I asked, pleading with puppy dog eyes.
When I was younger, I would always crawl between my mom and dad, on their bed, whenever I had a bad dream or when I got bullied at school. Today, with my mom, I was feeling like that eight year old girl again, who was tired from a long day and who had been run over emotionally multiple times.
“Of course, honey! You don’t have to ask.” My mom said with a smile.
And that smile stayed with me the entire night as I slept in my parent’s bed, wrapped up in the love and comfort of my mother’s arms.