27. Aftermath

It took Farrel a minute more for the blood to flow back into his brain and fully recover from the trauma. He stood slowly, drying blood dripping in thick teardrops off his fingertips where they had laid lifelessly on the floor. Straightened as her own hurt and anger mingled with his. At least now she understood or was starting to.

In a flash, he had one hand clamped around her neck, drawing her to the edge of the bed to kneel before him nearly eye level. Though his fury was still palpable, his grip was loose.

“Try to imagine, if you can, the loss you just felt with my death done thrice over. Should you have died doing that idiocy,” he snarled, spitting the word out with a deep loathing, “then Caleb and I would have suffered it, and then some. We can heal ourselves. You are not a healer to us, Emmalyn. You are our mate.”

Emmalyn 1tried to breathe, but her breath caught in her throat again when he grabbed her. She didn’t struggle or try to pull away, but her hands went up to his arm, her fingers moving around his wrist. Her eyes were on his in an instant, her anger gone. Tears formed and fell from unblinking eyes as she tried to nod. She understood she wasn’t a healer to them. To Farrel and Caleb, she was a mate, to the rest of their kind; she was something to be kept from the vampires.

She felt tiny, without purpose to anyone but her mates. No one would need her here, other than them. She couldn’t do anything to help them, except stay safe. At least back in the city, she had a purpose, even if her real one stayed hidden.

“I understand,” she whispered out.

She tried to stop crying, but she couldn’t. His anger was still overwhelming, and she just wanted to cower away from him. He scared her now. Emmalyn didn’t know what to do anymore that wouldn’t make him angry. She didn’t want him angry anymore. She wanted to feel safe in his arms again, like she used to. Was that all gone now?

Farrel’s eyes were glittering emerald orbs of ice as she broke down there in front of him. His fingers twitched once around her neck, then his grip slid away. To replace it was Caleb’s arms sliding around her. He returned in an instant, offering her comfort and strength. Farrel moved from the room and into the hut once more, leaving them alone.

The moment the Alpha’s mind disconnected from Emmalyn, Caleb held her tighter, softly stroking her back. He knew the next time she saw him would only be tonight during the council meeting.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, love. Tell me so I can make it better.”

She turned and buried her face in the side of Caleb’s neck as she sobbed. She tried to let go of all the worry and frustration that she held inside her. There was fear, too. She didn’t understand Farrel, and he frightened her with how he tried to make her understand things. He didn’t help her understand.

She continued until she started hiccupping, and then she finally could slow down and stop. Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked up at him. “I’m glad…” she hiccupped softly, “you didn’t warn me of what he was going to do.” She said, her bottom lip quivering. “I would have tried to stop him and made him angrier at me.” She said, fresh tears threatening to form.

“I love him, Caleb, but he scares me. I can’t do anything right in his eyes. Why did he take me for a mate if all I do is make him so mad? He was so mad…” She leaned her face down and started crying all over again.

Caleb’s fingers wound through her hair, stroking through it and pushing it back from her face. Using the edge of the bedsheet, he wiped Farrel’s blood from around her neck as gently as he could.

“He loves you, Emmalyn. His anger isn’t all directed towards you. There is also anger at Baelr but mostly at himself,” he explained, gently shifting her onto his lap as he settled on the edge of the bed.

“See that he understands you as much as you understand him. You have known no other life but with the humans, Emmalyn. And he’s known nothing else outside the wolves. I doubt he’ll ever understand why you would nearly sacrifice yourself needlessly.”

He paused then, considering how best to continue with what was a very important issue. One that she had not been informed of when she had lain with them both and accepted their marks.

Drawing a deep breath, he finished, “Your life isn’t your own anymore, Emmalyn. You have us to think about. As we need to think of you.”

She curled up on his lap as he cleaned the blood from her. She listened silently as he spoke to her. That was a difference between the two males. Caleb spoke to her. Farrel spoke at her. She nuzzles closer to him. She was grateful to him for the way he always took care of her and hoped that he knew that.

“Thank you, Caleb.” She breathed. “I will think before I do anything anymore, I promise. When I reached out to him, I was still in pain. I wasn’t even sure why I did it, only that I did. It’s what I’ve done for so long. If I can’t do it anymore, what good am I?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Farrel has protected everyone for a long while, but he has failed to protect you twice now. He doesn’t know how he can do what he does if your purpose requires you to be hurt,” he explained with that infinite patience he always seemed to have.

She nodded a bit. “It’s not his fault.” She whispered. “You two had to eat. You should have been able to trust your pack. It’s not your fault that he was bad. You didn’t know he would try to hurt me.” She said. “What can I do here? I’m a healer that isn’t allowed to heal. I have to do something. What do females do here?” She asked, it settling in that she needed to do what the rest of the pack does, not what humans do.

Letting his hands finally come to settle comfortably at her waist, he gave her a half-grin. “Aside from the obvious?” Caleb teased, dropping a soft kiss on her lips to give her a small reminder of what the obvious was. “The women take care of the village. They make the huts, clothing, tend to the meals, and handle the inner workings of the pack. A rare few even fight, though you will definitely not be doing that.”

She kissed his lips softly and finally managed a smile. “I think I like the obvious.” She said as she nuzzled against him. “I can take care of you and Farrel, as much as you will let me. I can cook and make clothes.” She said, lifting her head to look at him. “I can learn the other things, as long as someone shows me what I need to do.”

“Do you think they will accept me?” She asked, more than a hint of concern in her voice. “Do you think they will let me stay?” Emmalyn remembered again she would need to face the elders. With Farrel still so angry with her, she didn’t know how she would do it. She knew Caleb would be there for her though. He was her rock.

“Quite a few of our pack have asked about allowing you to join us. What you did to Farrel impressed them. They see your devotion and the sacrifice you will make to one of their own won them over. Others are merely curious.”

Caleb shifted her, gently setting her on the bed as he reluctantly rose to open the trunk in the corner. Digging towards the bottom, he took out several long clothes and moved to clean the blood from the wood floor before it set in permanently.

“There are others that are against having a human amongst us. Healer or not. They like things the way they are. Just hope that the elders do not share that view.”

“I don’t want to cause any problems…” she said as she got up and went to help him. She took some clothes from where he did and got down on her hands and knees, cleaning up the mess of blood.

“But that doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” she asked as she worked. “We’re a family now, the three of us. What would happen to you two if they made me leave? Would you have to leave as well?” She asked, trying to understand.

Would they really send the three of them away? From what she felt earlier, she didn’t think they could survive that long away from each other. She didn’t know how she knew that, only that she did.

Once the floor was cleaned as best it could be without soap and water, she sat back on her feet and looked at him.

“Do you have any cloth I can use to make something to wear?” She asked him, blushing a bit. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to show up naked.”