45. Decisions

Kinn moved to sit near his shoulders, still not bothering to get dressed again. The cold didn’t concern her. She reached over and combed her fingers through his hair to offer some soothing comfort for him and ease him to sleep. Marcus slipped into oblivion with the aid of her soothing touch.

She sat there like that with him throughout the night. The hours passed, and it was hard to judge the time, but her body knew. She could feel the coming dawn. He hadn’t woken yet, and she didn’t want to wake him just to be awake as she slept. She stretched out next to him, not touching. By now, she knew that her skin had cooled more than his. She wanted to be close enough to him so that he wouldn’t look for her when he did wake. With the coming dawn came the irresistible urge to sleep. It claimed her as it did every day.

He slept long and peacefully until the dawn came and her mental pain killers wore off. The ache in his muscles disturbed his slumber, and he woke within a half-hour of her falling into sleep. When he opened his eyes, he automatically reached for her, but stopped himself. She had let him sleep so he would return the favor. There were other things he could tend to.

It took him some time to get to his feet and though his knee was not in the fiery pain it had been; he limped heavily simply to stay upright. As he expected, the muscles were weak from the abuse of the day before, but at least they were not cramping. He limped around, sliding on the oversized trousers he found in the saddlebags. The horse had wandered into the mouth of the cave in the night but would not venture in further. He could see that the storm had not passed and showed no signs of stopping.

It was hard to judge when he could not see the sun through the snow, let alone through the clouds, but he did not want to risk its setting rays reaching into the cave and killing his unlikely savior. So he moved about, stringing his cloak, jacket, and every other piece of cloth he had across the doorway. What remained was a small saddle blanket, and he brought it with him as he laid back down, dagger at his side, for protection. The blanket he wrapped around himself, knowing she did not need the heat.

But he could comfort her. He slid in closer, wrapping his arm around her waist to cradle her smaller frame against his body. His breathing was slow and even while he focused all of his senses on the noises outside the cave.

She was unlike her kind. There was some difference in the way they slept away the light. Some turned as stiff and dead as their bodies truly were. Others would simply sleep, as the mortals do during the night. The latter was the case for her. She would have lightmares, the vampire equivalent to the horrors mortals saw in their sleep.

Kinn moved closer to him as she slept, not meaning to. It was a presence, one offering comfort, and she reached out for it. She rolled towards him, a hand moving to lie flat on his chest. She murmured something in a forgotten language; the words sounding about as odd as her name.

The visions in her slumbering mind got worse throughout the day. Near dusk, one word was clearly decipherable through her words.

“No…”

Throughout the day, he found it difficult to relax. Kinn’s murmuring kept him from hearing things clearly on the outside and he could not lay still on his leg the entire time. While he lay with her, he softly stroked her hair, whispering nonsense to soothe the worst of her bad dreams. When he had to, he stood and paced around.

It was during the times he had to pace that her dreams seemed to get worse. At one point, she had cried out wordlessly, making him flinch. He held his breath, listening for anything other than the wind and fall of snow outside. Nothing came through and he hurried back to her, spooning her chilled form until she spoke the first word in his language.

Frowning slightly, he reached up, softly stroking her cheek, and pressed a kiss to her neck.

“It’s time to wake,” he whispered. “Let whatever is darkening you go.”

Her eyes slowly opened, and she looked at him. At first, there was no recognition in those green eyes, but she slowly remembered the events of the night before. She was pale, much more so than the night before. Her skin had taken on the pallor of her kind, unable to keep it hidden. She moved closer to him, seeking comfort for only a moment. The sound of his heartbeat and the smell of his blood shattered that moment.

She was undeniably hungry. Before she could stop it, a soft growl of need moved over her lips as her eyes moved to focus on that pulsing point on his neck. Her growl made him stiffen. Again he waited for the bite that never came and wondering all over again about her resistance to him. Did she really value her word over her instincts? Over her own needs? She was an amazing woman. Yes, he considered her that, regardless of her species.

Kinn tore her eyes away, disgusted at her own weakness for letting her eyes move without her permission. She moved away from him, more for his sake than her own. When she pulled away, he did not stop her. He knew she needed space or she would give in regardless of her own wishes. Sitting up carefully, he grimaced at the stiffness in his leg. It did not pain him. Just simply a discomfort.

She stood slowly and walked over to where her clothes lay in a heap on the cave floor. She pulled her pants on first, then the tunic and belt to cinch her waist. Marcus’ eyes followed her as she moved, watching the pale curves of her ass shimmy into her clothing and the side swells of her breasts before they were covered up as well. Kinn stayed facing away from him. The sound of man and beast so close to her, while she hungered, was enough to drive her mad. Her own inner demons threaten to tear through her. She couldn’t let them. Kinn had given her word. She had to get him to safety and then get as far away from him as she could.

Without turning, she said over her shoulder, “How does the weather fare outside?” Her voice was strained. She tried to hide it, but she knew she had failed.

Clearly, he would have trouble keeping his needs under control as well. “It has not let up at all... Last I checked, the drifts by the entrance were near to my waist. I gathered some wood this morning,” he whispered, pointing to the line of sticks, broken branches, and twigs laid out along the dry floor. “I hoped they would dry for tonight.”

She sighed heavily and shook her head. She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. A decision would have to be made soon. But, it wasn’t just for her, there was him to consider as well. It wasn’t her choice alone. She turned slowly to him. Her eyes seemed a stark contrast to her skin. She walked slowly over to him, kneeling down where he sat.

“We need to decide what to do, Marcus.” She said, her tone grave. “We can brave the storm. You can ride the horse and I will guide you there myself. There is a strong possibility that you will catch your death of cold on the way.”

She took a deep breath, a remembered human response to discuss grave topics. “Or we can sacrifice the mare. I can drink her and we can use her so that you don’t starve. But that won’t last us long. If the storm doesn’t let up, I would have to take you by foot. It is that or being trapped here together after the hunger gets the best of me.”

Kinn shook her head at that thought. She didn’t want that; she didn’t want to break her word. This was going to have to be something he decided. She simply could not. She looked down at her pale hands.

“You tell me what you wish to do, Marcus.”

His voice was calm, and even as he pointed out the most logical flaw in her plans. It was the truth.

“The mare wouldn’t make it,” he responded.

The mare had been one of the merchant’s horses. It was not his powerful draft horse that would fair the depth of snow that he had seen outside. The horse would die before they even got a quarter way to the city and he would likely die soon after. She had a point regarding their prison. As he had already judged, all roads lead to death for him.

“I believe in exhausting all options before giving up. I think we’ve already done that. If you want to eat the horse hoping some miracle will show itself soon, then be my guest. But do not expect it.”

His tone softened then. The naked hurt he could hear in her voice over his impending demise warmed him.

“I do not blame you, Kinn. I did not make you make a promise you cannot keep and do not hold it against you for trying it."