A Gift

**BLANCA**
I haven't moved an inch since Max left me in his suite. I haven't taken the time to explore the wall to wall books, or raid his refrigerator the way that I wanted to. Nor have I even shifted into a more comfortable position. I can't for some reason, I'm on pause. Just sat here waiting for the Alpha's return so that I might explain what I probably should have already told him. It's as if I'm glued to the polished wood planks beneath me. Like I'm trapped here, hunched over in surrender, with my legs bent and curled to the right of me. My hair falls in a cascade around my shoulders as I draw in breath and push out resentment.
If I tell Max what happened, will it matter? If he hears that I was forced by the two guards multiple times a month for the last *two* years, will he even believe me? Or will he accuse me of being a slut, the way he accused my sister. He said he was going to whip me when he figured out who they were. Will he really do that? *Knowing* that we are mates?
Even though he chooses *not* to acknowledge me, he *refuses* to reject me, so I'd like to believe he cares at least a little. Although I'm probably just fooling myself and seeing what I want to see,it seemed like he *hated* that Jack was touching me at the Branding House.
And why does the thought of my having a lover bother him so much anyway? Why should he be so *angry* over the thought of someone else being with me, if he has no desire to have me himself?
So many questions and I still don't have any idea what to do. All I know is, if I tell him the truth and he calls me a liar, or worse, a *whore* - it might snap the tiny little thread of hope that I have left. The fantasy of Max that sparked last night when I realized he was mine. Well, I mean, *supposed* to be mine. The thought that *one* day Max might decide our bond is too hard to resist is what keeps me rooted here. It's only been a day, it *could* be possible. I *did* kill his brother, so I imagine finding out that he is mated to me is a hard pill to swallow.
But if I tell him what Frank and Talbot did to me and he simply doesn't care, my heart will wither and die *right here* in this room. It'll crack into a million pieces and I won't ever be able to put it back together again. That much I know for sure. Everything else I've endured will pale in comparison.
When I hear a key slide into the lock on the other side of the door I brace myself. *He's back so soon? How long has it been?*
When Max steps into the room, his face is grim and try as I might, I can't get a read off what it is he is thinking. He takes two steps toward me then pauses, blinking as if he's not really certain I'm still sitting here. Then without a word he locks the door and heads over to the shelf along the far wall. The sound of papers shuffling and a closet opening barely registers before he's walking back toward me.
"Frank and Talbot, the night guards," he says softly from directly behind me. "You really are a piece of work, you know? And to think, I was under the impression it was *one* male, but instead, it was *two.* The Goddess must truly enjoy mocking me, though I don't know why. I don't think I've ever *blatantly* disrespected her. But here we are..." He steps around to the front of me, his shoes thudding with steady purpose.
I force myself to meet his eyes, gasping when I see what he holds. *Oh Goddess. He's really going to do it. He's going to whip me.* I try to douse the blossoming rage stirring inside of me at my helplessness, but it's difficult. Unfortunately, Max tends to bring recklessness out of me and I quip, "I'm pretty certain your refusal to accept that we are mated is a pretty good slap in her face. And if not that, then the mere suggestion of her taking the time out to '*mock'* you with a Shiftless mate will certainly get the job done."
His jaw clenches angrily as he says, "You lied to me Blanca. I *knew* that you were going to, I *told* you as much, but you still did it."
My breath shudders and tears begin to collect behind my eyes. "No. I did not. I never lied."
He shakes his head in frustration and says, "Get up. Get the fuck up, now."
When I don't move he growls then reaches for me. His movements are fast as lightning as he yanks me off the ground and shoves me toward the back of the couch. Unscrewing the top of the baton and revealing the frayed leather tail of the whip, he schools his handsome face into a mask of indifference.
"Let me ask you something, Alpha," I say with a proud tilt of my chin. "Why do you even care if I had lovers? Why must I be punished for it, if no one was hurt?"
His eyes flare wide and a cruel smile flashes across his lips in disbelief. "Are you serious? *No one* was *hurt*?" He lunges forward angrily and yells, "I was*-" he stops, catching himself, then his face blanches for a moment before he clamps his eyes shut muttering a curse. "Turn around and face the back of the couch."
The blur of tears fill my vision, but I do as told, giving him my back. "I didn't lie," I whisper, knowing it won't help but needing to say it anyway.
"Unbutton the front of your dress and lower it to expose your back. Hold it just above your waist, then lean forward against the back of the couch. You will receive eleven lashes. Count them out for me," he commands, his voice steadier than I want it to be.
Tears begin their salty trek down my cheeks and I know he cannot see them, so I allow it. I don't even try to fight the little liquid traitors as I do as instructed. Gathering my hair in one hand, I transfer it over one shoulder then drop the back of my dress. The cool air hits my flesh and I hear Max gasp behind me.
After a long moment of silence only rivaled by the pounding of my heart, Max asks, "When was the first time? And don't you dare lie to me?"
"The first time, Alpha?" I questioned. "For what?"
A sardonic chuckle sounds behind me, then he replies, "The first time they fucked you, of course. When was it?"
I don't so much as hesitate, "My sixteenth birthday. Frank called it a gift."
"*Sixteenth*?" Max repeats, his voice sounding deceptively closer to me this time. "You were... *that* young?"
"Yes, Alpha."
"So... he must have approached you. Offered himself... to you? Frank did?"
"I wouldn't call it an offer, Alpha, but yes. He did."
"If it wasn't an offer, then what was it?"
My tears are falling more freely now. Soaking the soft fabric of the couch and I'm forced to take a deep breath before answering. "A nightmare."
The air stills around me and I suddenly don't know if the sounds I am hearing are my own or if they're his, but one of us is panting.
His voice is *definitely* closer now when he says, "A nightmare..."
"Please Alpha," I pleaded. "If you are going to punish me fine, I can take it, but the waiting is making it worse. Please..."
He clears his throat and I close my eyes, feeling that he's right behind me now and hoping that his closeness takes some of the bite out of the whip. Something clatters to the ground at my feet and I don't dare check to see what it is because I don't want to risk being hit in the face with the lash.
"I asked you if you had a lover, and you said no."
*Yes. I remember.*
"But I smelled their seed on you. I smelled *them* on *your* bed."
*Yes.*
"You said you didn't lie. Do you deny that *their*... *seed* was on you?"
This time, I speak. "No."
I hear Max release a quick breath. "So you admit it was them. That *they*... touched you."
"It was them," is all I can say.
"Tell me this, Blanca. Did you *want* them to touch you? Did you *request* it?"
I nearly choke on a sob. "No. Of course not."
This time when he speaks, his voice is so low that I'm not even sure if he's talking to me. "They took the *one* thing that was supposed to be given to *me* and then lied to my face about it."
*No. I'm still here. I'm supposed to belong to you. But you don't want me.* Of course, I don't say those thoughts out loud, just continue to breathe as I await the crack of the whip.
Another moment passes. Then another. Finally, just as I'm about to call Max's name, I feel it on my lower back. But it's not the whip and it is *anything* but painful.
I think... it's Max's hand.