I want to be the only one...

**BLANCA**
The pounding on the door stopped immediately after I spoke the words. For a moment, it was as if we were caught there, frozen in time. Max simply stared at me, the gold of his eyes swirling with different emotions. A turbulent storm of rioting thoughts, battling for control. He's still holding my body against his, but I can feel him fighting to push me away. I don't know what he just did to me, but whatever it was, it was glorious. Never in all my life had I ever imagined such a thing to exist. Now that I know it does, I want more of it. Much more.
So, before he does something to ruin the gift he just gave to me, I ask shyly, "Can we do that again, sometime?"
A growl rumbles behind his chest and his hands tighten around me. "We shouldn't," he says huskily, but his eyes are now trained on my lips.
"Oh. Okay," I reply, dejectedly. *I'm not going to cry about it. How silly would I look? Although... I almost want to.*
"I didn't say no," Max clarifies swiftly and my entire face heats with fire.
"But you don't want to. Why not?" I ask, watching my hand slide slowly over the muscles of his chest so that I don't have to look into his eyes.
"You know why not," he says easily, yet there is no conviction in his voice and when I finally look at him, I see that his eyes are heavy again. "You liked it that much?"
Biting my lip, I nod shyly. "It felt... really, really, good."
"That was your first orgasm, wasn't it?" he asks gently.
"Yes," I answer confidently. *That is the first time I've felt anything like that, at all. Aside from the pulsing.*
Max rolls on top of me so suddenly, I forget for a minute that he's only wearing a towel. Or... at least he *was*, but it seems to have fallen off completely as he lodges himself between my legs and I spy the hard angles of his chiseled rear.
*Oh my Goddess, he's so beautiful.*
Max's eyes are wild as he stares down at me and I can feel him growing hard again where his hips are pressed into mine. He bites his lip, the gold of his gaze stroking down the side of my neck toward my breasts. His pupils dilate, freezing on the exposed skin of my heaving chest.
"When I was growing up," he begins, one of his hands sliding carefully down over my shoulder. "I was never allowed to go to the Rim. After Drake's... death, my father thought it best to exclude the census from my duties. Never really having much contact with them, I always thought the Shiftless were ugly, colorless, creatures. I was taught that there was nothing special about them. Nothing... that set them apart from the rest. That they were unremarkable." His fingers trace over the rounded crest of one breast and I shiver, the movement pushing me up against his hand. With a devastating moan, he tenses, removing his hand almost as if he's been burned. "What a fucking lie *that* turned out to be," he hissed, leaning downward until his lips are but centimeters away from the flesh of my bosom. "Nothing has ever been as tempting as you."
"Max," I whisper, my body heating. *Is he going to kiss my chest? Oh... please, please...*
"I want to be the only one that ever makes you come, Blanca," he growls. "I want to be the only one that you ever moan for. The only one you ever go to for pleasure." His tongues lashes out to trace over one globe teasingly. "Fuck," he groans.
*Is he saying what I think he's saying?*
"What are you telling me, Max?" I have to ask, and despite that I know better, I allow a bit of hope to enter my plea. "What does that mean?"
His jaw clenches, his eyebrows wrinkling together. "That means that I want you, Blanca. I want to be the *only* one you turn to. The only one you ever give yourself to." He meets my eyes and for the briefest second I almost fall for it. I'm *almost* happy. "I promise to take care of you. Even after I'm mated to another."
*Even after he's mated to another.*
"I see." But I don't. In fact, I can't see much of anything at all, because my eyes are suddenly swimming with tears. My body stings with pain and when I draw in a sharp breath, a flame of agony comes with it. Turning away seems to be my only option, so that is what I do. There is a roaring, raging, soul devouring fire right where my heart once was and I suddenly need more than anything to get the fuck out of this room. *I feel so cheap! Goddess, what on Earth was I thinking?* "Get off me," I whisper, attempting to wiggle out from under him. "Please, Alpha."
"Alpha?" he snaps, still not releasing me.
"I mean no disrespect," I whimper, pushing against his chest to get free, "but I'd like you to get off of me. I want to go to my room now."
"No! No, wait a minute," Max protests, reaching up to try and catch my face in his hands.
I won't let him. I can't allow him to see how much he's hurt me with his *offer.* Enough is enough. He's *never* going to want me by his side. He's never going to want me as any more than a dirty little Shiftless secret.
"Blanca, stop it!" he commands. "Please! Didn't you hear a word that I said? I *want you*!"
*Oh well then, lucky me I guess.* "I don't care!" I snap, my anger taking over and displacing the hurt for a moment as I buck upward with a surprising amount of force. Aiming to shoot myself over the side of the bed, I curl my knees upward as swiftly as I can and launch. I don't even feel it when I kick out and my heel slams into Max's thigh.
At least... I thought it was his thigh...
"Fuck!" Max groans, doubling over and heaving into the pillows.
He's gagging like he's going to be sick and true fear washes over me as I realize what I've just done.
*Oh Goddess. I've kicked him in the penis.*
I can remember the one time I did that to Frank. It took me over a month to heal from all the blows to the head he gave me.
Max wouldn't hurt me like that, would he?
No. No. No. He wouldn't.
But when Max leaps from his place on the bed to land in front of me, all I see are his arms as they fly toward my face.
And when I hit the floor, I'm screaming.