True Hate

**BLANCA**
Squeezing my eyes shut as tightly as I can, I force the barrage of tears to flee then scatter them to the ground with a surreptitious swipe of my hand. Raking that same hand up through my hair, I toss it back so that I can finally look at him. The gold of his irises has thinned to a glowing outline banking the black pools of his eyes. What *I see* in his gaze looks like fear, but I can't trust my instincts anymore, so I call it emptiness instead.
I can't look at him when I ask my next question, so I pretend to find something fascinating in the window. "Is that why you didn't let them execute me?" I ask, swallowing a whimper as it tries to escape. "Did you stop them because you might need to breed me?"
He's quiet for quite a bit longer than I'd like before he answers sounding dejected. "No."
*Goddess I hope that's true.*
With a grateful nod, I turn away from the window. A horrible thought plagues me and even though I know I shouldn't ask for his confirmation, I do. "If your future Luna can't get pregnant and you *do* end up having to use me," I start, hating the words even as I say them, "then what happens after I give birth to your *heir*?" I ask, allowing all my grief to swim in my eyes. "What will you do with him or *her*, after it's done?"
He chuckles as if it's the easiest answer he's ever had to give. "I raise him. Or *her*," he adds with a roll of his eyes.
I cross my arms, my lips falling into an unintentional frown. "You mean to say that you and your *Luna* will raise him. Don't you?"
He strokes a hand under his jaw thoughtfully. "Uh - yeah. I guess so."
"Uh-huh. So would that end up like a joint custody thing between you and me? Or would you just take him from me the moment he entered the world and add my watching him call some other woman mom to my list of ever growing non-sadistic punishments?"
He actually has the nerve to look dazed. "You wouldn't have to be his mother Blanca. I wouldn't want my Luna to mistreat him so you would have to give him up completely."
*I wouldn't have to be his mother, he says. Wow.*
Although I already knew that was what his clueless ass was going to say, I needed confirmation. "You really think that I would lay with you, just so that you could breed me and make me give my child to your *chosen* Luna like a wedding present?" I shake my head at his audacity. A seed of true hate for him plants itself inside of me to eat away at the mate bond. "I won't do it."
Max's eyes go bright with challenge. "You won't have a choice."
"No?" I chirp evenly. "So then, you plan to force yourself on me as well?"
That gets him. He tenses, growing visibly agitated. "What?"
I push off the wall so that I can look cleanly up into his eyes from six inches away. "I can't get pregnant unless I let you have me. If I refuse to let you touch me, are you going to force yourself on me to get me pregnant?"
He grits his teeth, shaking his head ever so slightly in annoyance. "It is my right to, should I wish it. I am the Alpha and my word is law, so I could definitely change those laws for that day or so that I desired to pay your bed a visit, but no. No, I would never do that. I would never... harm you in that way."
I smile sadly, satisfied to have foiled his plans. "And *I* would never want anyone to take my baby from me."
Max seems to be at a complete loss for words as he stares at me. It's as if he's used to manipulating *everything* in this world to suit his life perfectly and he has no idea how to react when he *can't* force the outcome he so selfishly desired.
"If you reject me now... or if I reject you... who knows? You might meet your second mate sooner than later and not have to settle for a chosen mate at all. She'll probably be beautiful. Way prettier than me for sure."
"Not possible," I think I hear Max mumble under his breath.
"What?"
"I didn't say anything."
My head twitches in disbelief, but I promised myself no more daydreams so I let it go. "She probably won't be Shiftless. I don't *think* the Moon Goddess would play the same prank on you twice, but she's definitely toyed with *my* emotions more than I'd like, so I shouldn't say it like it won't happen. But even if your next mate is a different Shiftless, she won't be your brother's killer, so you'll be free to accept her."
"And then maybe you'll find your second chance mate too," he supplies calmly, apparently catching on.
"Exactly. You never know - maybe the only thing the Moon Goddess intended when she created our bond was that you save me from being executed. There had to be *some* reason she did it, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't so that you could use me as a backup baby machine."
"So you don't think she paired us because she thought we were meant for each other?"
It's my turn to be speechless. I bite my lip nervously. *I do think that, but I know that you don't.*
Max's brow furrows skeptically. "You're obsessed with this whole second mate bullshit. Tell me Blanca, what is that about? You got your eye on someone? Someone you *wish* was your mate instead of me? Jared maybe?"
*That's like the fourth or fifth time he's said my name today and it sounds more beautiful to me each time it falls from his lips.*
"I don't have my *eye* on anyone," I lie. *I had my eye on you... but then I got you and you don't want me.* I shake myself, pushing it from my mind.
"I said, Jared, not anyone. As in my Beta Jared. Is he the one you're wishing it will be?" Max implores softly, reaching a hand under my chin to lift my eyes to his.
I inhale sharply at the sudden contact and the delicious warmth of his fingers. His golden eyes sear into mine, fraught with unspoken accusations as he awaits my answer. "It's dangerous to wish for things," I say. "Trust me."
"Did you think I didn't notice the two of you flirting in the car this morning? Or the way he invited you to call on him when he dropped us off? Of course I did. So tell me the truth," he commands me, still not releasing my chin. "Is he the one you're hoping for?"
*No, asshole. You are.* And that's the truth. Because even if he rejected me right at this moment, I'd be praying that the Goddess mated me to him again right after. In hopes that a second bonding would make him want me. Make him *believe* in *us.* "No. But at least he doesn't hate me the way that you do."
He drops my chin in the flash of an instant and suddenly I'm backed against the wall. Max has my wrists pinned on either side of my head and is gazing down at me with a look of unrestrained hunger. "You want to know how much I hate you?" he asks in a voice just a breath above a whisper. "I can show you how much." His eyes find my mouth and he licks his lips, his jaw clenching as he lowers his face toward mine. "If I tried to kiss you, would you stop me?"
My chest is heaving, my heart hammering against my chest as a burning, trembling need sparks somewhere deep inside of my sex. A flood of wet heat blossoms between my legs and I can feel it dripping beyond my folds. I whimper softly as my panties grow damp and Max releases my wrists to lose his fingers in my hair.
"Goddess," he rumbles, his eyes going heavy as he takes a deep breath. "I'll bet you taste *so* good," he whispers on the end of an almost inaudible groan. "Shit."