「11」Suspicions and A Sad Memory (3)

LEON


“AWW~” I heard my mother say. Then, she patted my head. “I have faith in you, (.....). I know you’ll do just fine without me,” she said.

“That’s not true! I’m only ten!” I reasoned out.

“For now,” she uttered. “Okay. (.....), whenever you feel lonely, just look at the moon,” she advised.

“The moon?” I frowned. “Why the moon, Mom?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she half joked, and chuckled when I pouted at her. “I mean, just look at it,” she encouraged, and pointed a finger at the moon. I stayed longer that day so it was already night time. “The moon is so beautiful, don’t you think?”

I stared at it for a while. Back then, I never understood what my Mom tried to imply. Who would’ve thought that it was her way of saying that she loved me all her life?

“What’s so special about the moon, Mom?” I retorted, a little disinterested about it.

“You know… I was told that I can never get pregnant. That was also the reason why your father left me because I couldn’t give him a child,” she revealed. That was the very first and last time that my mother ever mentioned my father. “I didn’t give up. Every night, I prayed to the moon. My grandmother used to tell me that long ago, there were 7 moons. One of them represented fertility. I prayed to that Moon Deity, and hoped they would hear me and grant me a beautiful child. And they did, (.....). I gave birth to you, to a very beautiful son,” she cried.

“Mom, why are you telling me this now?” I began to cry, too. She sounded like she was about to leave me for good. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want her to!

“Because I believe that you were given to me for a reason, (.....),” she replied. “Be strong, my son. Follow what’s in your heart. And if you ever feel like nothing’s making sense anymore, just look up to the sky and stare at the moon. The Moon Deity might give you answers,” she said. I thought she was half joking with her last statement that time, so I didn’t really take it to heart.

The next day, my mother passed away at 11:11 PM—the same time that I was born.

「END OF FLASHBACK」

━━━━━━ ◦ ◦ ━━━━━━

I WOKE up feeling a very familiar ache in my chest. I thought I had already forgotten about that time I last saw my mother. Her death inflicted a very painful wound here in my heart. She was all I had, and yet she was taken away from me.

I would admit that I was no longer the same Leon she hoped to become. I just couldn’t pretend that I was okay, that I could face the whole world and welcome each day with a smile on my face. I tried, but it wasn’t enough.

“Moon Deity, huh?” I softly uttered to myself while massaging my temples. “I can’t even remember the name of that Moon Deity she talked about,” I scoffed.

「But that was really weird. Why can’t I hear my mom say my name in that dream? She used to call me often by my given name because she loved it so much. She was the one who named me, after all,」 I thought, bewildered. Then, I suddenly remembered the necklace. I almost forgot I had it!

I rummaged through my things in the drawer. I stashed it at the farthest corner possible. After that, I piled some magazines and random stuff over it. I got nervous when I couldn’t find it.

「It was just here!」 I panicked inside my mind, frustrated.

My face brightened up when I saw a glimpse of the pendant. I pulled it out, and was relieved when I finally had it in my grasp.

“Roark said to listen to the voice in my heart,” I mumbled while staring at the necklace. I couldn’t even have any peace of mind. The mere fact that something was by my side all this time would bring shivers down my spine.

「Are you really there? Why do you want me so much? You won’t gain anything from me. Roark said I was an empty vessel, for fuck’s sake! Why would something like you take interest in me?」 My thoughts were in a hurdle.

(“I want your life.”) For the very first time, it spoke. It had a very deep voice, like it came from the underground. And he sounded like a man. He spoke inside my head. It was weird, but I didn’t find it disturbing.

“Why? Why me?” I asked, and rested my back against the wall. “What’s so special about me?” I added.

(“You’re more special than you think. So much… It’s worth risking my own life,”) the entity replied. His words didn’t make any sense to me.

“I don’t understand,” I said.

(“You don’t have to, and you don’t need to,”) he retorted.

“Why?” I scoffed. “Isn’t it a little bit unfair? You attached yourself to me without my consent, and attracted all sorts of negative energies. And now you’ll tell me that I don’t have the right to know the reason?!” I half yelled. “Then it’s alright if I do everything in my power to get rid of you, right?!” I panted after that.

(“Then stop messing around and get out of your prison,”) he replied in a very confusing way. (“You will never find out the truth if you keep denying your existence,”) he added.

After that, his presence dispersed. I looked around, and hoped that I might be able to see him slowly take the form of a human, but it didn’t happen. I was disappointed.

“I was disappointed?” I asked myself, surprised by my own feelings. I looked at the necklace one last time, and I gasped when I remembered what Derrick told me this afternoon. “Shit!” I cussed, and hurriedly got up to change my clothes. “It’s almost nine in the evening. I hope I make it in time,” I said to myself.

I was hungry and tired, but I couldn’t waste my time lying inside my room forever. I had to take matters into my own hands if that was the only way to solve everything!

「The necklace!」 I remembered, and grabbed it. I didn’t know what came to my mind, but I decided to wear it as a choker. I wasn’t a fan of any type of accessories like this, but the moment I wore it, I felt a weird connection.

I rode my big bike and sped up my way to the studio. I wasn’t prepared. If Sheldon and my best friend Alynna were really in a secret relationship, would I be able to accept it? As for Derrick, why did he sound like he was really concerned about something? Was he perhaps trying to tell me that Alynna and Sheldon were meeting up at the back of the studio?

“Please, let me be wrong,” I said to myself while driving, and I sped up once more.


「to be continued」