「24」Burning Passion of a Forbidden Love (2)

SIDAPA


“APPARENTLY, Gods need love, too. That’s why some of us marry other fellow Gods or Goddesses,” Libulan informed. “I am the offspring of Lihangin and Lidagat,” he revealed. “Some say that Gods were forbidden to have children with mortals because it might bring chaos between the existence of the two species. But I had no idea that having an intimate relationship with the same sex was a taboo,” he said with a sad expression. “Sidapa… Do you really think that it’s a sin for us to love each other? Because I see nothing wrong with it.”

I tucked some of Libulan’s hair strands at the back of his left ear. It gave me a good view of his beautiful face. The delicate look in his eyes had a calming effect on me. His sweet demeanor was something I wanted to protect at all cost. His soft and silly expressions and his funny mood swings brightened up my evenings. He unlocked these desires that I never knew I had, and made me yearn for more.

“Libulan, look into my eyes,” I instructed him, and he did. He looked like he wanted to cry but he held it in. “What do you see?” I asked.

“My reflection,” he simply replied. “There is little light but I can clearly see myself in your eyes,” he added. “How is that possible?” he asked in confusion.

I faintly smiled. “You are my light, Libulan,” I told him. “When all I had was darkness, you became my light—my everything,” I said, and it brought Libulan into tears. Then I took his left hand and I gently kissed it before saying, “Libulan, will you spend your lifetime with me?”

Libulan was moved, and he smiled wholeheartedly. “Now and forever, I’m all yours. Sidapa, my love,” he proclaimed.

I carried Libulan back to the tree.

━━━━━━ ◦ ◦ ━━━━━━

“SIDAPA, do you fear death?” Libulan asked out of the blue.

We rested underneath an old Balete tree, just a few meters from where my tree stood. Most of the time, this was where I stayed when I was not carving lifelines on my tree.

“No,” I simply replied.

The Balete tree was known to the locals as home to unearthly entities such as ghosts or hostile spirits and were believed that they resided in this tree. Because of such rumors, people were afraid to get near it or even touch it for they thought they would be cursed. But in reality, its elevated roots that were tangled against each other were a group of strangler figs that would grow from another tree. Eventually, its host tree would die and it would become the Balete. To someone who didn’t see this tree yet elsewhere, they would be terrified by its eerie appearance.

“To be honest, I’m afraid of dying,” Libulan admitted, and he simply leaned his head to my right shoulder. “I get scared when I try to imagine my own death,” he added.

“Then just stop thinking about it too much. Wouldn’t that be better?” I retorted. Libulan chuckled softly.

“You’re really straightforward,” he said.

“Is that a compliment or a sarcastic comment?” I asked with a smirk. He didn’t answer and just remained still. He even went closer to me. He must be feeling cold. “Do you feel cold?” I asked, and Libulan lifted his head up a bit to face me before he responded.

“A little,” he admitted, and I noticed that his cheeks were a bit red. Not only that, his ears and some parts of his neck down to his collar bones were also feverish in color.

“Are you okay?” I started to worry. What if he felt a little sick to the stomach after seeing the ritual?

Libulan chuckled softly. “Sidapa, you’re quite slow when it comes to some things, huh?” he retaliated and I frowned in confusion.

“Slow?” I raised one eyebrow, a little annoyed. “Why would you suddenly say that?”

“Forget it. Just let me stay like this for a little longer,” he said and sounded a bit disappointed. He coiled his frail arms around my right arm that was almost thrice the size of his own. He looked away and only then I noticed that the back of his ears became red as tomatoes.

「Was he perhaps trying to flirt with me?」 I assumed inside my mind. That wouldn’t be surprising. We both announced our mutual feelings for each other. But I never really had any romantic feelings towards someone else before except for Libulan. How was I supposed to know things such as these at times like these?!

“Libulan,” I called out in a low voice, a little embarrassed of myself at the same time for not noticing Libulan’s hints. It was only natural that he would start to be needy. I was the only one who didn’t catch up to the situation. “Hey, you went silent. Are you asleep?” I asked and peeped at him, but he would avoid my stare as I did it.

I almost laughed at his stubbornness. If I did that, Libulan would definitely lose his cool and run off, just like earlier. I didn’t want to see him go through that fear again

I pulled away my arm from his grip. It wasn’t that hard because his grip was pretty loose and he was weak, too. Libulan was forced to face me when I did that. As expected, his face was red all over. He reacted to my sudden movement and was confused about what I was about to do.

“Are you leaving?” Libulan asked with teary eyes. He was such a crybaby.

“No,” I timidly replied. “Sit here,” I told him, and Libulan gaped when I gestured to him to sit on my lap.

“S-sit there?” he asked with hesitation, and his eyes went looking down onto something that he wasn’t supposed to look at. Libulan made a big gulp after that. “A-are you s-sure?” He stuttered while talking.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his cute reactions. “Am I still slow? Or am I going too fast?” I teased him and his face went poof like a boiled squid.

“Too fast!” he exclaimed and hurriedly stood up. “I’m sorry for inviting you like that!” He excused himself and tried to run away again, but I already had a hunch that he would so I stopped him beforehand. I grabbed Libulan by the waist and pulled him towards me. He lost his balance and ended up saddling on top of my lap, with him facing the opposite side. “Sidapa, let go,” he shyly pleaded and lowered his head to hide his huge embarrassment.

“I can’t see your face,” I whispered into his left ear, and that made him gasp, a little shocked.

“Your voice,” he uttered and scrammed to find a way to get away, but my arms were already wrapped around his waist.

“What about my voice?” I asked, and simply leaned my chin on his left shoulder. His shoulder was a bit cold, but I felt relieved that I got to hold him like this.

“That tickles.” I heard him chuckle. He still hid his face and the parts of his skin where I touched them slowly heated up. I could also hear the loud beating of his heart, and so was mine.

“I want to see your face,” I half whispered again. I lightly squeezed my wrapped arms against him, afraid that he might try to run again or disappear from my sight without me knowing. “Let me see your face, Libulan,” I pleaded.

“I look very stupid right now,” Libulan reasoned out.