「9」Suspicions and A Sad Memory (1)

LEON


“WHAT’S the meaning of this, Helen?” I asked my wife. I just got back from a long day of work. When I came home earlier than expected, I caught Helen lying butt naked next to a guy in our very own bed.

Helen was horrified to see me. “Angelo, please let me explain!” she pleaded, and got up while covering her naked body with our blanket.

“What’s there to explain?” I scoffed and forced a smile.

Helen tried to grab my arm, but I distanced myself in repulsion. She got hurt by that but still, she tried to lie her way out to this. “Angelo, I can explain everything so please, don’t leave me,” she begged, and shed crocodile tears.

The guy reacted, and laughed sarcastically. “Are you going to tell your husband how much you enjoyed my rod, dear Helen? C’mon, you can do better than that, baby. Tell him how many times you complained about his lousy sex techniques and how bad he is in bed, honey!”

“Shut your trap, you big oaf! This is my house!” I shouted at him. He ignored my outburst, and continued mocking me by laughing.

“Angelo, please!” Helen insisted, and forcibly grabbed my arm to prevent me from leaving.

“Let go of me, Helen!” I yelled at her, and pushed her away, but still made sure she wouldn’t fall down. “I don’t want to hear your excuses for now. I’m leaving. When I come back, just make sure that this prick over here is no longer in my house,” after that, I left the two.

“And~ Cut!” Director Kim cued. “Brilliant!” he exclaimed with teary eyes.

“Thank you, Director,” Natasha uttered. Our lady staff members were already by her side, and gave her a robe to cover herself up. “But. Leon here, really moved back there. I felt his rage,” she complimented.

I chuckled, flattered by Natasha’s words. “Thanks. But all I did was act,” I defended.

Director Kim agreed with Natasha’s statement. “She was right, Leon. I saw the pain in your eyes. The pain… of betrayal!” he exaggerated.

To cut our conversation short, I played along with them for a while before excusing myself.

It has been weeks since I last saw Roark. I forgot to ask how I could contact him if I were to find any clues to my unending nightmares. I tried to act normal in front of everyone else. I still hung out with Alynna and Derrick from time to time, for them not to suspect anything different from me.

Everyday, I also tried following Roark’s advice to me; that I should listen to the voice of my heart. But every time I attempted to empty my mind from everything, a black cloud of smoke would blind me, preventing me from focusing. I knew that thing had something to do with it, and it wouldn’t give me a slight chance of figuring it out.

Roark hasn’t given me instructions on how to get rid of this black entity. I had a feeling that maybe he didn’t know either. Regarding the necklace he gave me, I felt uncomfortable when I wore it so I hid somewhere in my room. I decided I would only hold it again if I found out what it was for.

As for Sheldon, I noticed that he had become too accustomed to our hidden relationship. He told me that he worked in a coffee shop, but we never really talked about it since we became lovers. I did say that Sheldon was always there when I had no one. He was my biggest fan. He adjusted to my lifestyle, my work, and to almost everything that I needed a safe distance for us to keep ourselves covered from the unwelcoming society. But never did I ask him if it was all okay.

(“Have you ever thought about his feelings, his opinions?”)

「Huh? Why am I hearing my own voice this time?」 I thought, and lifted my head to see if someone was around.

(“You’ve been too focused on yourself and forgot that you had someone waiting for you.”)

「Shut up!」 I shouted in my mind. 「You are just trying to mess up my feelings!」

(“Are you going to make the same mistake again?”)

“The same…?” I uttered to myself. “Again?”

I ran to my dressing room, grabbed my things and requested to go home early. Director Kim tried to stop me, but I chose to avoid any argument with him and left anyway.

━━━━━━ ◦ ◦ ━━━━━━

SHELDON at least told me the name of the coffee shop that he worked for. I searched it up online and found its location. I just had the urge that I should talk to my boyfriend.

I arrived at the said shop. It was quite small, but the place was really nice and inviting. Before I came here, I went to my place to change my clothes and wore a less showy outfit. I still wore the same tinted shades and black mask, to disguise myself.

“Hello. Is your manager here today?” I asked directly. The young man that I approached at the counter was surprised by my sudden appearance and question.

“Um, yes,” the man said hesitantly.

“Can I speak to them, please?” I politely said.

“May I know why, Sir?” he asked back nervously.

“I want to speak to Sheldon for a moment. If that’s okay,” I told him.

The young man frowned. “Sheldon?”

“Yes. He works here,” I confirmed.

“Please wait a moment, Sir,” he excused, and went to their staff room.

I waited patiently back at the counter. Even though I wasn’t looking, I could feel the eyes of the people around me, boring holes into me. It was uncomfortable, but was also expected. I looked suspicious, after all. I went all the way in here, but didn’t even remove my glasses and face mask.

After a while, a woman in her thirties accompanied the boy back. She stared at me intensely, so I had to look away for a moment.

“Hi, Sir!” She greeted me. “I was told that you were asking for a guy named Sheldon, am I right?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“With all due respect, we don’t have a staff that goes by that name, Sir,” she told me, and I was dumbfounded.

“Miss, are you sure? He told me that he worked here,” I insisted. My anxiety began to build up, and I started to have these small palpitations.

The woman nodded. “Yes, Sir,” she confirmed one last time. “May I know what’s your business with him? Are you a friend, Sir, or a relative?” she interviewed.

I was forced to calm myself, and replied to her, “It’s nothing. Thank you for your time,” I said, and hurriedly left the shop.