Smolder Chapter 25

She heard the quiver in his voice the one that told her this was something heartfelt and not another joke. She shifted on the trunk, looking at him but putting more space between them in the process.

He took a deep breath before talking and the tingling sensation of nerves crept into her mind. She forced it out, putting extra effort into blocking his thoughts and making sure he stayed out of her head. "First, I want to say sorry for the whole vomiting situation the other day."

"The one where you abused our friendship and made me feel physically ill with your thoughts?" she asked, knowing she was being a little petty not accepting the apology outright. But, he hadn't been acting very Aiden-like recently. She wanted her carefree friend back.

"The one where I was insanely jealous and didn't handle it very well," he told her quietly, not taking his eyes off the ground. She forced herself to shut up so he could let whatever he was holding out. "The truth is, I know I've been a little mean sometimes, but I told myself it was justified. You and he were wrong for each other, and it was only a matter of time before you broke up. I was doing my part to move the process along."

"But?" she said, making him continue.

"But, I realize now that it's something you need to see on your own."

"And why do you care so much?" she asked. They had avoided this conversation for so long that maybe in the woods, alone, waiting to charge a house full of powerful demons wasn't the ideal time, but it was all the two of them had. There was no going back now.

"Because you're my best friend." He shrugged, still not looking at her. She watched him, watched as he finally met her gaze. His fiery eyes were hers, but she didn't recognize them now, not when they were filled with hope and pain. "Because I'm in love with you," he finally said, letting the words float up and fill the space of the forest, making it feel cramped and vast at the same time. There it was. The six words that she had been dreading since graduation. The six words that could never be taken back. The six words that would change their friendship forever.

"I love you too," she said, hating the pity in her voice.

"But you're not in love with me," he finished the sentence for her, visibly deflated.

For some reason, she couldn't get the words 'no, I'm not in love with you' out of her mouth. She tried, she wanted to give him the closure he needed, but her throat closed on the sounds, trapping them inside her body. Instead, she quietly responded, "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Like I do?" Aiden said with a snort. "I know you're with him. I mean, hello, road trip third wheel talking." He pointed at himself and widened his eyes. "But I just thought you would see reason and break things off. I kept telling myself to wait until graduation and then we'd be in Crystal River together and everything would right itself."

"Aiden," she said, shocked by the crack in her voice at seeing him so vulnerable. "I'm in love with him. I can't say it's forever, but it feels that way to me now and I don't want you to waste your life waiting. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone my best friend." She stretched out her hand, wanting to place it around his shoulder, across his back, or even in his hand, but she stilled herself in midair and then let it drop. The inches between them on the damp fallen tree were too long to cross.

"But I will be waiting," he said dropping his head into his hands and letting out a long-ragged breath. He ran his fingers over his hair, flattening it to his head. "I," he started to say but then needed to swallow the breath that caught in his throat, "I have this feeling deep in my gut that even if I tell myself I've moved on and I start dating other people, a small part of me will still be waiting."

Screw it, she thought. She scooted over next to him and wrapped him in her arms. "You can't think like that."

"But you don't know Jade," he whispered, "you don't know what it was like to wake up covered in blood with no memory of what happened and to see your best friend lying dead on the ground next to you. You don't know what it was like for me to see you so pale, to see you asleep and attached to machines for months, to see what life would be like without you. That's when I realized I loved you, and that we were so much more than best friends. Even if you were still in that hospital bed I would be there holding your hand, just waiting for you to open your eyes and wake up."

She didn't know what to say, but she guessed sometimes that was the point. Sometimes people moved beyond words. She kept her mind closed, not wanting to read his tumultuous thoughts but hugged him closer. It was strange to feel heat drain into her skin. Benjamin's was normally cool, but when she pulled Aiden close he was hot to the touch, just like her always a few degrees warmer than everybody else.

What was she going to do? Now that everything had been said and let out into the open, would she be able to ignore the moments when his desire leaked into her mind? If she caught him looking at her and Benjamin, she would know it was jealousy and not annoyance. When they were alone together, joking and laughing, would it always mean something else?

She knew she was being selfish, but she wouldn't be able to let him go. He was her rock, just like he had said before, and she needed him. But, was it possible to need two people to have two people without whom she couldn’t live?

"Jade?" He moved away from her and sat up, but she didn't drop her arms. Instead, they moved with him, changing places from around his waist to over his shoulders. He looked at her arms around his neck and followed the trail to her face. Shifting his gaze left and right, he tried to read her expression. She suddenly found herself not just looking but gazing into his heavily lidded eyes. Realizing how close they were, she unlatched her hands and slowly pulled them away, but the more she retreated, the more her heart began to hurt. At first, it felt like a dull twinge, but as she rested her hands in her lap, it felt as though someone had taken a hammer to her chest.

Looking into his eyes, she couldn't deny that the pain she was feeling was purely her own. Was it the pain of knowing their friendship would never be the same? Or the pain of knowing that eventually she would lose him, that he wouldn't be okay with second place? Or was it something deeper, an idea she had buried so far down in her heart that tried to forcefully dig itself out?

Ever since she had met Benjamin, she had thought of no one else and hadn't allowed her mind to stray in that direction. And maybe it was only because Aiden finally admitted his feelings, but she couldn't lie to herself anymore. Here she was, staring deep into the fiery depths of Aiden's soul, finally admitting that she couldn't survive without him. Admitted that when she saw him lying dead on the ground and risked her life to save him, there was far more than just friendship in her heart.

A light turned on inside the house, sending bright rays deep into the forest where they sat. The sudden spotlight filled the darkness, blinding them. She dropped her gaze, the spell broken, and rubbed her eyes.

"Ow," she said nervously.

"I think that's our signal," he said. He stared into her face, burning her with his gaze, before standing up. "We had better go."

She stood too, looking towards the house just in time to see a shadow pass through the light in the open window: Benjamin, her boyfriend, the love of her life. She needed to stop spending so much time in the woods, she thought while shaking her head. The insects were getting to her brain.

She focused back on the mission. Tonight was not about deep conversations or professions of love; it was about payback. To Benjamin and Aiden, it was maybe about keeping her safe and keeping the people around safe. But to her, this was sweet revenge. She wanted that battle with Skye that should have happened months ago. And nothing, not even Aiden, would distract her. This is why she stopped paying attention to the dirt, the muck, and the bugs and started paying attention to the house. What was going on inside those walls was the only thing that mattered.

When they reached the edge of the forest, they stopped to think of the best approach. Would a mad dash across the open field work best? Would going slowly make them less noticeable? The demons in the ballroom could still see out of a few windows and might have even been able to spot them where they stood. But the two of them needed to get the study, and the sooner the better.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. She eyed the distance. It couldn't be more than twenty yards.

"I say we make a run for it. And hey, it's not like that approach hasn't worked for us before," said thinking back to the airport. The run from the parking lot worked out perfectly fine and this one would too.

"Okay, you ready?"

She nodded. With his fingers, he counted down from three. As soon as his hand balled into a fist, she sprinted for the house, bee-lining to the open window. While she ran, her sneakers sank into the grass, creating dives with her toes.

Sliding in the mud to a halt, she slammed against the side of the house, smacking the wood, and he banged beside her a moment later. Not my finest, she thought touching her temple to feel a slight bruise. That was when she realized the first floor of the mansion was raised and saw that the window was two feet above her head and out of reach.

He scanned the tree line, making sure nothing had come after them. Then, he knelt and cupped his hands together. Understanding the move, she stepped one foot into the pocket he created, and he lifted her up. She reached for the windowsill, clutching the opening with both hands and pulled herself in with a little help from him.

Grace had never really been one of her strong suits and she rolled head-first into the study. After a somersault and slight crash on the floor, she stood up and dusted herself off to make room for Aiden, who easily slid through the window a minute later.

Nicely done, she thought, impressed by his stealth. She was about to point it out to him, but before she could, someone else spoke.

"Well, well. Theron really will let anything inside these days," a high-pitched voice laced with iron spoke from the other side of the room. Jade immediately flipped around.

Sprawled out lengthwise along a cherry desk on the far side of the room and draped in pearly necklaces... was Skye.