Ch 35: More to the Story

Being another warm sunny day in LA, it was perfect for a swim. Cups and trash littered the yard and area around the pool. The bushes appeared battered, leaves and twigs scattered on the ground. I could hear birds chirping as the water looked placid in the afternoon sun. Except for the bushes and debris, it was hard to believe so many people had partied in that pool the night before.
We practiced Luke’s freestyle and then started to dive for rings, that time at the deepest depth. Luke struggled to get all the way down to the bottom at 10 ft., the depth in which he had actually saved me the night before. Thinking about those moments struggling underwater made me shutter. If it hadn’t been for Luke, my hero, I don’t know what would have happened.
How long would I have had to wait for Daniel to realize something was wrong? I’d have to tease him about it later, I thought. Maybe I could even get him to owe me a favor for once instead of the other way around.
I watched Luke carefully as he tried to descend to the bottom head first. “I don’t understand it. Why can’t I do this?” he asked. I suggested trying to go down feet first by bringing his arms above his head. Still, he struggled. I think we were both aware of the near tragedy that could have occurred the night before at the bottom of the pool, and it caused Luke to hold back a bit.
“It’s alright,” I said. “You’ll get it. We’ll just keep practicing. How about we practice treading water? I think you’ll have to do that a lot in the movie.”
“No. I want to get this.” Luke tried to dive down again, but each time he tried, he got more out of breath. In frustration, he climbed out of the water. I hopped out too and grabbed our towels, throwing one at Luke.
“I didn’t think this would be so hard. I mean, I’m a fit guy.” He made a muscle, his bicep bulging from his arm. He looked strong and formidable.
“Swimming isn’t all about muscle and brute force. It takes a more nuanced approach.” He looked disappointed. “Think about golf,” I said. “You don’t just whack the ball as hard as you can on an 8 ft. putt, right?” He shook his head reluctantly.
“I should have auditioned for a golf movie instead.”
“Snooze fest,” I said, “No one wants to see you golf. They want to see your sexy body all shimmering with water oozing off your skin and your muscles defined and chiseled in a skimpy swimsuit.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t just want to be the beefcake anymore. I have more to offer than that.” He threw the towel down, stood up, and walked toward the house.
“Luke, wait,” I called after him. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Inside, I followed him down the hallway to the kitchen. I was dripping wet in the t-shirt and shorts I borrowed, but I didn’t care. He grabbed a muffin from the cupboard and unwrapped it. I swatted it out of his hand before he could put it in his mouth.
“Now look who’s running away,” I said. Luke turned toward me, giving me a look that showed he was considering my words.
“Why’d you take my muffin?” he asked.
“You can have your muffin, but cool off first. I know how this goes. You get mad at something, you eat something you shouldn’t. You’ve worked so hard to get yourself in shape for this movie – both with your body,” I indicated his midsection with my hands, “and in the pool.” He still wouldn’t look at me head-on, but I could tell he was listening.
“I’ve just got to get this right,” he said. “I really owe it to her. Otherwise, … I don’t know…”
“Why are you putting all this pressure on yourself?” I asked. “We have a week. You can do this.”
“You don’t understand,” he said, turning away from me, toward the kitchen cabinets.
“Try me,” I said. “I know you didn’t fully trust me before. I get it. But you can tell me. I can keep your secret.”
He turned to look at me, “It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
I was relieved to hear that. I knew Luke kept certain aspects of his life private. He had to. Being a celebrity, people wanted to know everything about him, even the most ordinary details. Besides trying to maintain a good image, Luke deserved some sanity by keeping things confidential.
“What is it then?” I came up behind him and rubbed my hand along his back. He paused for a moment and then turned around to face me. “You can tell me,” I urged.
He kissed the top of my head. “When I saw you in that pool last night, struggling, it scared me. And it brought up some old feelings. Feelings I tried to forget by going to bed with you.”
“Yeah, you said, you were afraid to lose me. That’s sweet.” I smiled up at him.
“No, it’s something else. I’m afraid if I reveal it, you won’t want to be with me.”
“That’s silly,” I laughed.
“No. It’s something that’s taken me a long time to work through. I’ve been seeing a therapist and everything.”
“Oh, Luke, that’s not going to scare me away,” I said. “Plenty of people see shrinks.”
“Not that, it’s about what happened to my sister.” I looked at him confused. What was he talking about? They had been so young. “Why don’t you go change? There are more t-shirts and shorts in the guest room,” he said.
I nodded and walked away. What could Luke possibly tell me that would make me not want to be with him? I couldn’t fathom it. Not only was Luke hot as hell, with money to burn, he liked to share it and have a good time. Add to that, he was down to Earth and his quirks made him adorably cute.
OK, maybe he had a bit of a problem with balancing his image and his love life, not to mention who to trust, and a clear need to act like the hero. But that was all because he was so generous. Apparently, he had his hang ups, too. Who doesn’t?
I couldn’t understand what would be so hard to tell me. I hoped he wouldn’t push me away. I had to convince him his secret was safe with me.