Bad Whiskey

Gretchen's head lay against her arm as she looked out over the forest from the balcony while the sun went down behind the mountain. The orange light melted into pink before fading away in the horizon completely, leaving Gretchen alone in the darkness.

She shivered as an icy breeze went down the back of her shirt.The chill in the air let Gretchen know that time was still passing by and that everyone she loved back home was going on with their lives without her. Her eyes teared over and she inhaled a ragged breath as the bitter pain inched up her throat and consumed her.

"I've been looking everywhere for you, you little shit," said Haldir as he walked out onto the balcony with a small wooden crate and sat down beside her. "I brought you a plate."

Gretchen looked back over her shoulder and when Haldir saw her face, he scrunched up his and rubbed her back. "Everything's going to be alright, Gretch."

Gretchen groaned. "Stop. I don't want to be comforted tonight. Just let me be miserable."

Haldir pulled a bottle of whiskey from his cloak and sat it down on the table beside him, then took two cups from the small crate he brought with him that had Gretchen's food inside. "They say misery loves company, so I'll just slide down into the abyss with you if you don't mind."

Gretchen sucked back her tears and said, "Make yourself comfortable."

"Everyone asked about you."

"What did you tell them?"

"Well, Gretch, they're a family of psychics, so I didn't need to tell them much."

"I hate that they always know what I'm thinking. Some privacy would be nice."

"Come on! The only difference between their family and yours is that they don't need to say it. You Hexom's never stop running your damn mouths. Everybody in your family knows what's happening with everybody else. There are no secrets between you people."

Gretchen sat up and pushed herself back in her seat. "Yeah."

"So, you wanna talk about this or do you want to get drunk first and then talk about it?"

"Hand it over," Gretchen said as she reached for Haldir's bottle of whiskey.

Haldir smacked her fingers."You're a lady now, little one, you can drink from a glass all proper like."

He reached down beside his chair and picked up a glass then poured two fingers worth and handed it to Gretchen. She took a sip and scrunched up her face. "This is fucking horrible, Pap."

"Well, there's not a lot of liquor stores in the realm, Gretch. You take what you can get."

She took another sip and made a face of disgust, then looked away back over the forest.

"So, this stuff with Damien."

Gretchen sighed then took her hair out of her messy bun and shook out her curls. Her hair looked like a lion's mane, curly and wild. "Please. Not now."

Haldir rubbed his finger under his lip and said, "Maybe you ought to consider burying the hatchet with him."

Gretchen nodded her head. "Maybe," she said as she looked out over the forest. "I'm not good at that, being sorry and mending fences and shit." Then , a smile curled up on her lips and she said, "He is pretty goddamn handsome though, isn't he?"

Haldir chuckled. "Shit, you're starting to sound like your aunt."

Gretchen cringed. "Oh shit, I hope not. I love Tessa, but for Christ sake give it a rest. I'm more fucking traumatized over their nightly sexcapades than I am about being murdered. She was pretty goddamn sexually active for a giant pregnant lady."

Haldir laughed so hard his eyes watered and he started to cough. "Yeah, I know, I used to live with her, too. I'm glad she found happiness,though. She was a miserable bitch for a long time."

"Gross," said Gretchen as she sipped and shuddered at the thought of Tessa and her uncles having sex.

"What's really bothering you, right now?"

Gretchen sighed and said, "It's just, everyone back home is going on with their lives like I never even fucking existed. It's like, it's like a knife in my heart."

Haldir thought about what to say. He couldn't just tell her that was the furthest thing from the truth. How could he ever explain to Gretchen that her father was so crazed with grief over her death that he had gone on a killing spree to avenge her. That her mother was inconsolable and couldn't even say Gretchen's name without crying. That Stella slept with Gretchen's childhood Teddy Bear every night because she could still smell Gretchen on it and it was the one small thing that brought her comfort.

"Gretch, Teddy and Stella are getting along the best they can, just like you are. Believe me when I say that they miss you more than you could possibly know."

"Hey, hey there," said Rhett as he and Hazel came to the balcony. "What are we drinking tonight?"

Haldir took another glass from his side and poured some whiskey in it then gave it to Rhett. "Have a seat ,children. Let's get silly and tell some stories."

"Thanks my friend," said Rhett, then he took a sip and started to cough. "What swamp did you get this from?"

Haldir chuckled and took a sip. "Everyone's a critic when the booze ain't theirs."

"Say no more," Rhett said, then slammed down the rest of the glass and handed it back to Haldir.

Haldir poured another glass then glanced up to see Damien approaching and he grinned. "Evening Damien, care for a belt?"

Gretchen glanced up and locked eyes with Damien then looked back out over the forest and drank the rest of her cup. She handed it back to Haldir and said, "Please."

"No, thank you," said Damien as he took a seat facing them. "I've never been much of a drinker."

Gretchen's wild curly hair blew across her face as the breeze caught it. Damien watched her as she pulled it off her face and pushed it behind her ear. Gretchen could hear his heart racing and she licked her lips then bit the bottom one as she resisted the urge to look at his face again.

Haldir refilled her cup. "Here you go, kiddo."

"So, have you been out here all evening, Gretchen?" asked Hazel.

Gretchen took a sip then answered, "Yep."

"It's no fun to drink alone," said Rhett.

Gretchen huffed through her nose then looked away as she tried to blink away her tears. She finally pushed them off her cheeks with her fingers.

"Is everything alright?" asked Hazel.

Haldir sighed and said, "She's just a little homesick is all."

Damien spoke with Hazel in her mind and she said , "Come on, babe," as she nodded towards the door.

Rhett drank the last of his cup and handed it to Haldir. Hazel put her hand on Gretchen's shoulder and said, " I'll see you tomorrow. If you need anything, don't hesitate. Alright?"

Gretchen looked up with tears in her eyes and nodded as she faked a quick smile.

"Yeah, this old man's had enough excitement for today, too," said Haldir as he stood and sat the bottle on the table. "Night, Gretch," he said as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Night, Pap," she said.

Damien stood and took the seat beside Gretchen then inhaled a deep breath through his nose as he looked over the forest then glanced at Gretchen. "Does the whiskey help?"

Gretchen shook her head as her lip began to quiver. "Not at all."

Damien saw the memories that Gretchen was reliving and he smiled. "That's a good memory. The two of you are very close."

Gretchen said, "Every Sunday night since I was a little girl. It was just...I just wish I could sit there with him again. I just miss him so much."

Damien could feel the pain in Gretchen's chest and he knew it was time to come clean with her. "You wanted to know about the mark on my neck."

Gretchen swallowed hard then looked over at him and nodded. "Where is she?"

Damien licked his lips and tried to figure out a way to say it that wouldn't make him fall apart. "My wife's been gone a very long time. I lost her and my son not long after she had him."

Gretchen felt a sharp pain through her heart as the words left his mouth. "Jesus, I'm so sorry, Damien. What happened?"

Damien sighed then looked up at the nearly full moon. "They were murdered."

Gretchen took his hand and Damien looked down at them joined together, then he looked in her eyes. "All those walls and doors you put up, Gretchen, they don't protect you from the truth of what happened to you. They're only serving to keep you from healing. Whether you like it or not, they will all open eventually and that pain will come crashing down around you. You need people to help you through that when it happens."

"I don't want to know, Damien."

He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles as he looked at them. "You have to remember, Gretchen. You know, I did the same thing when I lost them both. I buried it deep in my mind and I pretended that I never even, that they never even existed. Then one day, it came back to me and I was destroyed. There wasn't enough pain or death for me to deal out that could fill the emptiness in my chest. I don't want that to happen to you, Gretchen. It doesn't have to. We're all here to help you.You don't have to be afraid of remembering. Once you do, everything will change for you. You'll see."

Gretchen shook her head and said, "I'm just not ready, yet."

Damien sighed then nodded. "I'm here for you when you are, Gretchen."

Gretchen paused for a second while she looked at his face. "In the woods, you really were just trying to help me, weren't you?"

Damien nodded.

"Is that why you hang out in the woods and wait for women like me to stroll through? Because of what happened to them."

Damien smiled and said, "Something like that, I suppose."

"What was her name?"

Damien's smile fell and Gretchen could sense she'd gone too far. "I don't want to..." Damien started.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm probably the last fucking person you want to share any of that with."

Damien licked his lips and shook his head. "No. It's just difficult."

As the homemade whiskey kicked in thoroughly, Gretchen blurted out, "You know, I used to dream about you, Damien. Before I, before I came here."

Damien huffed through his nose and grinned. "What do you mean?"

Gretchen wiped her eyes then blew out through her mouth and licked her lips. "You and these 2 black wolves would chase me through the forest. I was terrified. No matter what I did, I couldn't make you stop chasing me."

"No wonder you were so angry when we showed up," he said as he leaned towards her.

"You kept telling me to wake up. That they were coming for me. Gretchen, just wake up. Why didn't I just listen to you?"

Gretchen dropped her glass and bent over, then started crying into her hands. Damien got out of his seat then knelt beside Gretchen and put his arms around her. He leaned into her ear and said, "Gretchen, if I would have known where to look for you, I would've found a way to get to you. I swear."

Gretchen hiccuped back her sobs, then lifted her head to look at Damien. His lips were close enough to touch and Gretchen's eyes darted to them, but then she closed her eyes and put her forehead against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. I feel so stupid now. I've been angry at you all this time for no reason."

"I wasn't exactly Prince Charming when we met in the forest, either."

Gretchen laughed and said, "No, you weren't. How did you know I was even there anyways?"

Damien pushed the tear drenched hair off Gretchen's face. "Eliphas told us you were on your way and I just wanted to help you. I figured if I brought other Lycans along, you'd be less afraid."

Gretchen laughed and Damien said, "Yes looking back now, I see how stupid that was, but it's the truth. Damien looked at Gretchen's lips then back to her eyes. "I can't believe you were so close all this time and I didn't realize it."

Gretchen looked up into his eyes and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Damien sighed and shook his head. "Nothing. It's just funny that I've known Haldir my entire life and I'm only just getting to meet you now."

"Yeah," Gretchen said as she looked around his face. "Well, from the way my head is spinning right now, I should be getting to bed. Besides, these nightmares aren't going to have themselves," said Gretchen as she tried to find a way out of the uncomfortable situation she found herself in.

Damien stood and took Gretchen's hand to help her up and her drunk legs buckled. Damien put his arms around Gretchen to steady her then said, "I don't think you're very good at drinking, Gretchen."

Gretchen's face grazed Damien's chest and she closed her eyes as the smell of lemon and sage wove itself around them. "Yeah, I may have had a smidge too much."

"It's alright," he said softly. "Hold on tight."

As Damien wrapped his arms around Gretchen, they disappeared into a black mist then reappeared in front of her bedroom door. Gretchen was a bit dizzy from the experience and stumbled into Damien's chest as he released his arms from her. As she lifted her face to look at his, his lips brushed against her skin.

Damien breathed hard against Gretchen's chest as he looked around her face. She could feel is heart racing against her and smelled the pheromones dripping from his pores. Gretchen closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his gently. A surging tide of warmth and comfort flooded through her lips and down her throat then it continued to wash over Gretchen's broken and battered soul.

Damien grabbed Gretchen's arms and pushed her away without warning. "Good night Gretchen."

Gretchen looked down to the floor and licked the taste of Damien from her lips then wiped her hand across her mouth. "I'm sorry," she said, then she turned and went in her room and shut the door.

She threw herself against the back of the door and said, "Oh, shit. That was so stupid, Gretch."

Gretchen ran her fingers through her hair as she walked to her armoire and opened the doors. As she pulled her shirt over her head, she said to herself, "The poor guy spilled his guts to you about his dead wife and baby and you threw yourself at him. Jesus, what's wrong with you?"

She shimmied off her jeans then chuckled. "Oh shit. You're still stuck her for twelve days. That won't be fucking awkward at all."

Picking up a green glass vile from her vanity, Gretchen pulled the stopper then emptied the potion into her mouth. "Just go to sleep, maybe this is all just a terrible fucking dream. One of your stupid nightmares."

Gretchen pulled the covers down and crawled in the bed then yanked them up to her chin as she looked over to the door. As the memory of his taste still lingered in her mouth, Gretchen's heart pounded loudly in her ears and fluttered against her chest. His scent saturated her and her whole body ached for more of it. Every atom that made up her being wanted Damien to walk through that door right now.