Need to Know

**Allie's POV**
It had been a week since my Birthday party, and not a night went by that I didn't find some reason to sleep beside Nate. I felt ridiculous. I mean, I was so determined for him to have his own room, but he hadn't slept in it once. Last night, he didn't even ask questions. He got dressed for bed then wandered to his side.
I was frustrated, confused, and overall torn with how fast I was warming up to Nate. He was nothing at all like how I expected him to be. He did our grocery shopping, watched TV with me, and even played pool with Wells and Rob. I… liked him.
But the fact remained that I didn't *want* to like him.
We hadn't been particularly handsy since our little makeout session at the party. We would kiss for the cameras and snuggle in bed, but for whatever reason, he refused to take it further than that.
Needless to say, I was actually really grateful for the space he gave me, but reality decided to tear that wall down when the vibration of my phone on my desk distracted me from my online shopping spree.
"Shit." I fumbled it in my hands before finally pressing the answered call to my ear. "Hello, father?"
"Alexandra. I don't have time to chat so I'll get right to the point." Ha, like he ever had time to chat. "Saw the man in the papers. He seems to have come from a poor background, but he'll do."
"Wait, how do you know that?" I asked incredulously.
"I ran a check. Don't be stupid. Try to keep up and don't interrupt." I clamped my mouth obediently, twirling a stray strand of my hair around my forefinger. " I've scheduled a time with a fertility clinic at the end of the month. They're the best in town, and they say they can get you pregnant by spring, guaranteed." I nearly fell out of my damn chair. What the hell?
"In vitro? Wait, dad, I thought you said I had a year!" I argued, already feeling faint from all my blood rushing to my toes.
"Please, Alexandra. I'm not stupid. I know you won't bed the man, and banks have a lower chance of success than IVF. A chance I'm not willing to take. You'll be at that appointment. End of discussion." Then, like most conversations with my father, it ended before it even started. The line went dead, the phone tumbling back onto the glass top with a clang and reality hitting me like a steamer straight to the gut.
No.
No, this wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want a tube baby. I didn't want the painful process. I didn't want the detachment.
I wanted Nate.
But it had been so long… I was terrified I wouldn't be able to desire his touch like I should. I was terrified the images would come back, and I wouldn't be able to hide the truth anymore. I didn't want him to see how broken I really was.
But what other options did I have? Any chance I had of forming a family, fucked up as it might be, with Nate was relying on my next steps. I made a promise. Telling him we were doing IVF now would hurt him, not to mention rewind the last week of our growth.
No. I'd find another way.
The tears formed fast, but I didn't let them slow me down. I had work to do. I pulled up my email, where I knew information for my appointment would be. Sure enough. The location, date, and time was right there, along with a list of things I could expect at the appointment. The first consisted of a consultation, a fertility test, and… a pregnancy test.
THATS IT.
I rang my P.A. immediately, tapping impatiently while I waited for her to pick up.
"Ma'am?"
"Hey, Gretchen. I need you to get something from the pharmacy." There was a brief pause on the other end, which was abnormal for her. She usually agreed to my requests immediately. "Gretchen?"
"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Allie, but I'm out of the country. It's my yearly leave, remember? I'm afraid I won't be back until sunday." Sunday? That was five days from now. Shit!
"That's okay. Thank you and enjoy your trip." I offered sincerely. After hanging up, I groaned. I wasn't about to ask Rob or Wells for this, so that left Nate, who happened to already be at the grocery store down the street. He answered on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Nate! Are you still at the store?"
"Yes. Well, finishing up. Did you need me to pick up something?"
"Do you think you could stop at the pharmacy on the way back?" There was a brief pause and I heard him speaking to a woman, likely the cashier.
"Yes, love. What do you need?" Okay, here goes nothing. I pulled my thumb nail from my teeth, taking one big deep breath before speaking as confidently as I could manage.
"Prenatal vitamins and a fertility test. We're trying tonight."
I heard his phone clamber to either the floor or the counter, I wasn't sure which but I had to hold mine away to spare my ears. I could hear him apologize before placing the phone back to his ear. "Um, Allie. Are you sure? We don't need to rush."
"I know. Just… Please. I'll explain when you get home." I heard him sigh, and could just imagine him raking his hand through his unruly hair, just as he always did when he was nervous or overwhelmed. Finally, after another pause, he agreed to my request and I was able to get off the phone.
I could do this. I had to do this… For our baby.
.
.
.
I popped two capsules, awaiting the results of the test that was supposed to tell me if I was ovulating. I had done at least thirty minutes of research, trying to find the best methods of getting pregnant fast. We had one shot at this before my appointment come the end of the month. If I showed up to the consult already pregnant, I wouldn't need treatment.
Once I finished my glass of water, I set it on the counter, finally meeting Nate's gaze from the island. His eyes were wide, his lips tight as he regarded me carefully. Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned back against the counter.
"What?"
"Let's play twenty one questions." He replied softly, but with a determined look in his eyes that said it wasn't up for discussion. I swallowed, my throat scratchy despite the full glass I downed moments ago.
"Okay. Do you want to go first?"
"You can go first this time." He offered, nodding to me. Well, shit. I hadn't expected to play this game so suddenly, but it wasn't like I didn't have questions. So I buried my embarrassment and asked the first that came to my mind.
"How many women have you slept with?" It was awkward, but seemed important considering what I'd asked him to do. A small smile flashed over his lips, but he held my eyes.
"Four." Oh. I expected more for some reason… I tried to hide my surprise, since that probably wouldn't make him feel too great to reveal.
"Your turn." I said with an anxious breath. He nodded.
"How many men have you slept with?" Fuck. I should've expected it, but I didn't. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine, and I wanted desperately to break his simmering gaze, but he had me pinned in place.
So I did my best to lick the dryness from my lips before answering honestly, "None."
A strange look flashed over his features and he cocked his head, reading me more than I cared for. Did he not believe me? I hoped he did. I hoped he moved on and didn't pry. Finishing his scour, he took a deep breath.
"Your turn." He prompted, and I breathed a subtle sigh of relief. But the next question on my tongue had my stomach overflowing with hopelessness, because even after all we'd been through in the last week, I was too damn insecure to fully acknowledge it as a possibility. Pretending my cheeks weren't scarlet, I asked my second question.
"Do you *want* to have sex with me?" This time his smile grew, flashing his ivory teeth and making those gorgeously golden eyes of his squint. He released a short laugh, pulling his lip in bashfully.
"I do. Very much." My breath caught and I blinked rapidly, trying to control my innate response to his confession. He wanted to have sex with me. Then why hadn't he tried, yet?
"Oh." I said coolly, but before I could pass the mic, he moved on, this time his shimmering eyes growing somber.
"Who hurt you, Allie?" My giddiness turned to dread in an instant. Why? No, I thought he'd dropped it. How did he know? Where did he hear? Thousands of questions flooded my mind, and I was drowning, feeling exposed and vulnerable in a way I hoped to never be again. Not with him.
"Nobody." I lied weakly, but he wasn't convinced. He took a slow step around the island, and I stepped back, cornering myself against the granite.
"I need to know what happened before I'll touch you, love. I need you to tell me." But I was already shaking my head, unable to breath as I choked out my helpless response, my final plea.
"Pass."
He stopped a foot away from me, his hand coming up to his hair as his glorious eyes dimmed with unspoken pity.
"Not this time, Allie. I'm sorry, but not this time."

Having the Escort's Baby
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