Chapter 45

(**Rayne’s POV**)

Rayne watched as her father paced the small living room of the sanctuary. He looked sad as he moved back and forth across the room. His shoulders are hunched down, like he has been defeated by all the emotional turmoil within him. She hated that her need to talk about her mother with him had caused some of his pain. Yet, it didn’t lessen her need to talk to the only living person connected to her by blood that understood the pain of her mother’s loss. Yes, his was a different pain, but he would understand hers more than anyone else.

Parker knew the loss of two sets of parents, so he could relate, but it wasn’t quite the same. His biological parents died in a car accident, and his adoptive parents had died together in a freak boating accident. None of them had died violently at the hands of someone like Wilson. Their shared losses were something that had connected them in the past. It is what helps him know what to say to help her in times like tonight.

He was right by pushing for this confrontation between father and daughter, Rayne knows that, appreciating the push. Her anxiety of what to say to her father was causing her to feel sick to her stomach. Should she break the silence or should she wait for her father to say something first? Was he thinking the same things, or was he thinking of what to say to her? It was nerve-wracking thinking too much.

Fuck it, she thought, here goes nothing. “When I woke up the morning after the battle that night, my mind was blank, like a blanket was wrapped around my brain and I couldn’t focus. When I woke up again later that day, I was screaming for you, but you didn’t come to me. I kept asking where you were as I wandered through the pack house. I didn’t understand why I was there instead of at home with mom.”

Edmund stopped his pacing as his legs gave out from under his body, landing with a thud on the carpeted floor. His eyes were locked on Rayne’s face as she spoke.

“Everyone was rushing about the house, taking care of the wounded. There were so many that there wasn’t room in the hospital to treat them all. No one paid much attention to me as I wandered like a ghost from room to room looking for you or mom. Yet as I walked around the house, I could hear whispers of adults saying things that my young mind couldn’t process.”

“Then I somehow found myself at the Alpha’s mansion, thinking you were there with Wilson and mom made me run inside. When her scent hit me, I perked up, despite the warning in my head that her scent was off. I ran as fast as I could to the back of the house where the kitchen was. I came to a halt instantly when I smelled all the blood. My heart knew what happened even as my mind refused to accept it.” Rayne took in a deep ragged breath as she tears her eyes away from the despair that was all over her father’s face.

“I don’t remember who it was that pulled me off of her body after I threw myself over her. I remember little until a few days later when Wilson finally came to see me. I begged him to bring you to see me, all I wanted was for you to sing me to sleep and tell me everything would be alright. You never came and Wilson wouldn’t tell me anything. There was so much anger in him already.”

“Please stop, Ray, I don’t want to hear anymore.” Edmund said as he climbed to his feet and march over to the minibar. He filled a glass full to the brim with whiskey.

“You are going to listen, this is what I need you to hear,” Rayne told him with anger in her voice.

“I already know what that sick fuck did to you, what more is there to know?” Edmund demanded as he spun around to face her, the glass of whiskey he poured spilling liquid over the sides as he did.

“Fourteen years full of days, hours, and minutes passed and you were not there. I prayed every night to the Moon Goddess to come down and take me to my parents. To my family. No one wanted me. Mom’s brother ignored me. I was alone except Alec and Bridgette, but even they left me to Wilson’s anger.” Rayne said to him as fat tear drops spilled down her cheeks.

“What are you talking about? Why did Ryan never come for you? If he knew your mother and I were dead, he would have come for you. He is your uncle and godfather, why would he not have come for you? Unless he died during the war,” Edmund said, sitting down on a bar stool.

Realization hit Rayne like a slap in the face. Wilson never sent word to Ryan Larkin, Alpha of the Crystal Dawn pack, that his sister had died. Knowing that he wanted to keep his secret locked in Rayne’s mind, all Rayne wanted to do was kill the man again for keeping her from her family. “Wilson never told him you both were dead. As long as my memories were locked in my head, and I was under his roof, his secret was safe. He would have done anything to keep them from me. I bet the reason my uncle never came to look for me was Wilson told him I was dead too.”

“That sick mother fucker!!” Edmund growled then threw his glass against the wall.

“Every time I would have a bad dream about that night, he would come into my room next to Alec’s and scream at me to stop. I couldn’t control them, and I never remembered them in the morning. How could I have stopped? He tried drugging me at night, but it never worked as it wore off after an hour,” Rayne continued her story.

“The physical abuse didn’t start until I was eleven, which was also when I was made to clean the mansion as his maid. You know what happened to me when I was thirteen. That was the only time he took it that far. After that night, he made me live in the attic room. He avoided being in the same room with me unless it was needed, or when I pissed him off, to beat me.” Rayne stopped again to draw in a deep breath that shook with her restrained tears.

“Oh, Goddess, I want to kill him again and again for what he put you through.” Edmund whispered as he looked down at his shaking hands.

“I saved almost every penny her paid me after I turned thirteen for my plans when I turned eighteen. I always knew he started paying me as a maid after that night to make his guilt go away. I thought of it as hush money. I took it and stashed it behind a loose brick in the wall behind my bed. I had a few stash spots with clothes, weapons, and a map in them.” Rayne told her father the odd little things she stashed with the important stuff.

“Is there more?” Edmund asked as he got up to open the minibar. He grabbed a bottle of water, then walked over to sit on the couch next to Rayne. He handed her the water, then waited.

“The night of the Moonlight Ball, I had all my stuff packed into a duffle bag hidden in a tree trunk near the mansion. I was planning on leaving when everyone was distracted or once Wilson got drunk enough on his wolfsbane spiked whiskey that he wouldn’t notice my absence. Sebastion showing up and beating the shit out of him was a blessing in disguise. He gave me the freedom he didn’t know I was looking for. I took it, ran like there was no tomorrow, and only recently looked back.” Rayne ended her story, took the water he offered, and drank like she was dying of thirst.

(**Edmund’s POV**)

Hearing all that Rayne told him today makes Edmund's heart hurt more than it already did. Just knowing the pain she went through at the hands of his best friend makes him sick. He knew Wilson was in pain after losing Kara and their daughter, but to do what he did to an innocent child makes Edmund want to scream in impotent rage.

Edmund wasn’t there to stop Wilson when he beat her the first time. Wasn’t there to prevent him from the heinous act he committed when she was thirteen. Why wasn’t he there? Why hadn’t he died that night? Who or what was responsible for taking him from Rayne that night? Wilson had killed him that long ago night. Who had brought Edmund back to life only to yank him away from his daughter?

“I don’t know how or why I was spared, only to be taken from you that night. I don’t know if it was magic or some other force at work that took me from you. All I know for sure is that while my child suffered dearly at the hands of my Alpha, something trapped me in a darkness with no way out. I wandered around with no name, home, or a reason it all happened to me. That was something that Arabella’s magic didn’t reveal,” Edmund told Rayne with a shake of his head.

“I wonder why she didn’t mention there was more hidden in your memories?” Rayne questioned her friend’s motives.

“She may not have seen the block or known it was there. I feel like I know her, but each time I think about it that fog comes back.” Edmund said with a shrug.

“Maybe once Kade’s team rescues Cyra’s mate and there is downtime, we can ask her about that further,” Rayne suggests to him.

“I know you felt like had I abandoned you,” Edmund said to her with a serious yet sad expression on his face.

“What? Wait, why would you think I felt that?” Rayne demanding with hurt in her voice.

“Hear me out before you get angry at me. They never found my body. There was no proof I was dead, yet Wilson told everyone I was. I never came for you when you called for me. Did you ever think of that once in all those years that after your mother died, I vanished to avoid the pain?” Edmund looked Rayne in the eyes as he finished the last part.

The flicker of truth was there in her eyes, then when she looked away, it confirmed what he said was true. She had thought she was abandoned all those years. The fact she didn’t hate him was a miracle to his mind. She grew up knowing her mother had died in the war, thinking her uncle didn’t want her, and her father abandoned her. Now he knew why she was struggling so much with his return and refusal to talk about her mother.

“Tell me the last clear memory you have of your mother? Something before that last night,” He ask her then he reached for her hand, gripped it tight, then waited for her to gather her thoughts.

“My birthday that year. She made me a cake, a dress, and we had a party with just the three of us at our house. The cake was hard as a rock, my dress was uneven, but we still had fun. You sang my favorite song, then she told me stories for the rest of the night. Later, when you two thought I was asleep, I snuck downstairs to steal a cookie. I watched you two dance, then I crept back up to my room before you caught me.” Rayne told him her memory, and he couldn’t help but smile as he remembered that day with them.

“I remember the look on Mia’s face when you tried to bite into the cake. She ended up scraping all the icing off the cake, then smearing it on cookies she bought from the bakery in town. Mia laughed at herself when you came down wearing her mismatched dress. She was all warrior, not a baker, or seamstress. I felt her pain at how it all was falling apart, but all you had to do was turn that smile of yours her way, and she was happy. You were not upset about the cake or the dress in the slightest,” Edmund shared his memory of that day with her.

“All I wanted was a day with just you two, no one else in the pack, and you guys gave me that. Then the next day we had the bigger party with all the other kids, Alec and Bridgette. That day was fun too, but I will always remember the one with just us three. That was my last birthday with my family,” Rayne said the last part with great sadness in her voice.

“I am sorry that I keep her from you, but please give me more time to come to terms with her loss, ok?” He asked her as he pulled her close for a hug.

As she laid her head on his shoulder, Edmund ran his hand up and down her back to soothe her. All Rayne responded with was a nod of her head as she allowed him to hold her. After not knowing what he had missed out on all these years, the knowledge he now had of the past was staggering in its impact in his heart and mind. The weight on his shoulders is heavy, but after this conversation with Rayne, he can feel some of that weight lifting. He left lighter than he had in months.

Almost as light as he had when he knew nothing about his past and the world he lived in. Edmund knew that he wouldn’t trade those days of floating in that dark void of nothingness. Living in the shadows of the human world, sleeping in abandoned buildings, eating out of garbage cans was not a way to live. He hoped to never tell Rayne about those days, but he knows she will ask what his life was like while he was out in the world all alone.

“I am happy that I wandered into your bar that day, Ray. Finding you gave me everything I never knew I was missing. I got my life back that day, Rayne. Your friend gave my memories back, but you gave me my life back. Next to your mother, you were my life. You also gave me something else. Parker. You gave me a man I can be proud to call my son-in-law. You two gave me family,” Edmund pulled back to look at Rayne with happy tears in his eyes this time.

“I love you too, Papa,” Rayne whispered.