Chapter 65

(**Rayne’s POV**)

Rayne stood on the open deck of their rented boat, staring out at the vast sea all around her. Ruby is begging to be let out, but when Rayne tried to shift, nothing happened. She figured it was her body telling her it would not allow the shift since she was pregnant. Guild swamped her as she thought about the damage she could have done to her unborn baby.

Shifting from her human form to her wolf was bone breaking process. It was fast and painless for her now, but she remembers a time when it used to be excruciating. Is she a terrible mother for even trying to shift while she was pregnant? She knew the risks and tried anyway. Tears began streaming down her face as she thought of losing her baby.

Their future where they are playing with fire made her fearful of bringing a child into all of that. She didn’t want to kill her baby. Knowing she tried made her heart constrict with pain. What a horrible mother she is already.

**I am sorry I pushed you so hard to let me out. This is all my fault, Rayne.** Ruby’s whine cause more tears to fall from Rayne’s eyes.

*No, it is my fault too. I wasn’t thinking of the baby when I agreed to let you out to play. I was only thinking of how good it would feel for you to bask in the sun. My mind wasn’t on this life growing in my womb. That makes me a horrible person and horrible mother. What chances does my child have if I don’t think before I act?*

The feeling of powerful arms coming around her waist makes her flinch. Parker’s scent filled her senses and soothe her battered heart. Instead of letting him comfort her, she jerked away from him, then spun around to face him. Both of her hands going to her stomach protectively. He would never hurt their child and she knew it, but right now he wasn’t who her or she needed protecting from.

It was her, the child’s own mother, who was the problem.

“Hey, stop that! You are not a danger to our baby. Neither of us were thinking clearly, Rayne. I suggested it too, so stop it. We were both excited to have all this freedom out here to do whatever the fuck we want. You were not trying to kill our child. Do you hear me?”

“If I can do something like this today, what is to say that I won’t do worse later? What about a few months from now if I give birth? What about a few years from now? I feared the danger from The Collectors, but what I should have been afraid of was myself!” She screams at him as it feels like her heart is shattering.

“You didn’t shift! So, there is no harm done.”

“BUT I TRIED TO!” She is ugly crying now. Tears streaming down her face, snot dripping from her nose, and spit flying from her mouth as she yells at him.

“My love, you are not a careless mother. Look at yourself right now. Look down,” he tells her as he points to her abdomen.

Rayne looks down at where he is pointing. Her arms are wrapped around herself crosswise over her stomach.

“You are hugging your body like you are protecting our baby from a threat. That is not something a terrible mother would do. The moment what you almost did dawned on you, your first instinct was to protect. I felt it as I was flying back. That one quality I love about you, Ra Ra, your protective instinct for all those you love. Right now, you very first reaction was to protect our baby from harm.”

“Even if it was from myself?”

“Yes, because you knew what you tried to do could have killed our child. Instantly after I felt guilt, fear, and a love so intense coming from you right after it happened. I watched you from the air as you stripped naked and went to shift. When nothing happened, I figured you changed your mind or just couldn’t do it.” He told her as he pulled her to him.

This time she didn’t resist or push him away.

Without realizing what was happening, Rayne soon found herself down in the boat’s cabin. A blanket wrapped around her body and a cup of warm milk in her hands. A frown formed on her face as she looked down at the cup. She had been so lost in her thoughts she spaced out on him. Looking up from her hands, she sees him cleaning a fish on the small counter.

Deciding to leave him to prepare their dinner, she walks to the back of the cabin where the bedroom is. After the emotional turmoil of today, a nap would do her good while Parker made dinner for. Not bothering to unwrap the blanket from her body, she falls face first on the bed. However, sleep eluded her as her mind filled with all the what if’s that could happen in the future?

Warm hands on her calves under the blanket has her rolling over to look up at Parker. “How long have I been in here?”

“About an hour. Dinner is ready for us. I set stuff up top.”

Rayne noticed he had gotten changed into a pair of dark jeans and a blue t-shirt. That means he came into the room while she was face down in her freak out session. As attuned to him as she is, it shocks her she didn’t sense him or smell his scent. Both times he entered the room. The level she went to in her own mind was deeper that she knew.

“Did you close the link while I was in my funk?”

“After about twenty minutes of all the what-if situations.”

Rayne brings her hands up to cover her face as a few of those images pop back into her head.

“Rayne, you are only going to stress yourself out if you think like that. That kind of thinking does you no good. We don’t get to set the future, and as we both know, it is unpredictable. If it was, life would be boring. Who enjoys boring?”

A loud growl coming from her belly makes him chuckle. She moves her hands off her face, sits up to look at him, then she stands up. He is right at the edge of the bed, so when she stands it brings her body right up against his. His arms wrap around her instantly to pull her tight against him.

“I love you, Parker. Thank you for giving me that time to work out my meltdown.”

“I understand all the fears that are going through your head because they are going through mine too. You are not alone in this.” Before she could say anything, he continued on. “I know my fears are not the same as your but they are similar. Father or mother, some of that shit is all the same. I gave you the time to go quiet because I needed to the same.”

Guilt swamps her as she recalled only thinking of her fears and not what he was feeling. She snuggles her face into his chest. Her stomach growling again make them both laugh.

“Let’s go get you both fed.”

Rayne lets Parker lead her into the main cabin after putting some clothes on, but frowns when he leads her up onto the deck. On a large blanket, he set up pillows and lamps all over. In the center he set two silver domed dinner plates and a Bluetooth speaker. The sun setting over the ocean set the scene around thing in pinks, purples, darker blues as it met the sea.

After all the emotional drama of the day, he still went through all the works to give her romance. He led her to the blanket and joined her after she sat down. The soft jazz music coming from the speakers makes her smile. Removing the covers to their plates, he revealed grilled salmon, fluffy white rice with steam vegetables, and on a small plate beside hers was a slice of carrot cake.

He had gone all out for this dinner.

“This smells amazing. You were really busy while I was in my funk.”

“I wanted out first night out here to be a special one.”

“You succeeded well, thank you, Parker.”

“Anything to make you smile. I will do anything to keep that light in your eyes.”

“Describe to me what it looks like when you are flying.” She asks him as she remembered her thought from earlier.

They ate as he scribed in vivid detail what it was like for him, looking through his eagle eyes. What the feathers feel like as the wind flows through them. The peace that comes over him as he soars in the skies.

(**Parker’s POV**)
*The next morning*

Waking with Rayne in his arms, he looks around the deck. The sun is still painting the sky, so he turns to her to wake her for the show. Deep oranges, reds, and golds dance in the sky as the sunrises. The blue ocean water reflects it up at them as they drift along. Rayne leans back against him with his arms wrapped around her waist, rubbing her belly.

The beautiful scene had them both gripped with awe as they silently sat there waiting until the sun was fully in the sky. Stomachs growling brings them out of the dream-like trance the sunrise put them in. Parker stands up, then helps her up with him so they could head down to fix breakfast.

Much to Parker’s sadness, there would be no bacon for the entire trip. Pancakes are a sorry substitute for bacon and eggs, according to him. The honey and strawberries make him less grumpy. He makes the pancakes as she cuts up the strawberries. When breakfast was ready, Rayne wanted to go back up on the deck, but he had better ideas.

With the plate of pancakes, the bowl of strawberries, and the honey pot on a tray, he led her to the bedroom. Breakfast in bed was in order. The laugh she gives him lets him know she understands his plan. Breakfast and lovemaking were on the morning’s agenda. He plans to spend the next few hours worshipping his mate.

Take care of her stomach, speak to her mind, then speak to her soul as he makes tenderly holds her to him. Then he will make lover to her with all the love in his heart. He pulls her down to the bed to get their breakfast started as her stomach lets out another loud growl.

“I will feed you in a second, little one, relax.” Her laughter makes him smile as he watches her rub her belly.

Placing the tray of food between them, he joins her on the bed. “Who do you think our baby will look like more?”

Cocking her head to the side, she studies his features. “Your reddish-brown hair, my green eyes, my lips, and your nose.”

It was hard to keep the smile off his face as he imagined what their child will look like. “What are you hoping for? Boy or a girl?”

She pursed her lips as she thought about it, then smiled at me with a smile on her face. “I want one of each, but for this one, let’s wait until the day I give birth to find out. I just want a healthy baby.”

“How about Kai if it is a boy? It means sea.” He asks her as they eat.

“Let’s put that on the list. Go grab a pen and paper.”

They spend an hour thinking of names, adding them to the list, crossing names off, and adding them back on. He could tell which ones were her favorite by how she would make a little smiley face next to it. He would go back through the list and add a mark to his favorites. When they finish with breakfast, he moves the tray off the bed and onto the small nightstand next to it.

He lays down on the bed and pulls her down with him to snuggle. They continue to discuss baby names for another hour before they started talking about which room in their house to make into the baby’s room. He suggested turning room cross the hall from theirs into the nursery and the connecting room into a playroom for when their child gets older.

Rayne loves the idea and starts telling him how she wants to decorate both rooms. She also wants to bring Bridgette and Clara to California to help her. She says some sister and girl time will do her some good. The want to have family close during her pregnancy is understanding. He reminds her that Nyla is also pregnant and would do well will girl time.

With that in mind, he can see her thinking of plans for when they go back home. Deciding they have had enough of names, decor, and plans for women bonding days, he rolled over and fastened his lips to hers. He strokes his hands over her face in feather light touches as he deepens the kiss.

“Parker,” she moans his name as he moves down to graze his teeth over his mark on her neck.

“What do you want me to do?” He whispers in her ear, then places soft kisses over the sensitive skin of the mark.

Her shivers make him flex his hips into her, rubbing his arousal against her. The sharp intake of breath and shudder let him know she wanted more. Soon their clothes are on the floor and moans of pleasure fill the small bedroom. When she moans his name as she climaxes her lets her pleasure roll through him causing him to join her in bliss a moment later.

The rest of the day they spent up on deck in the sunshine talking about plans for their future. Soon they would have to go home and deal with the issues there, but for now they will dream. Their talks turn serious here and there as their reality creeps in every so often. All they can do about the burgeoning war ahead of them was to keep doing what they already are.

Help rescue those supernaturals in Collector cages. Neither he nor Rayne are warriors. Not in the way they need right now. However, with what his father told him, there are forces gathering to help tip the tides in their favor. The war will spill over into the human world if more gather to fight against The Collectors.

Parker can only hope that it isn’t a bloody war. Saving lives is what he and Rayne have always strived to do. Taking lives is not something they ever wanted. The knowledge that one day he might have to scare the hell out of him.