Chapter 14

**Nova**


I pull away from Charles when I feel my mouth go dry. My body is telling me to feed, but I can't. I need to control myself better. If I ever hurt any of my new mates I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I may barely know them or understand the idea of having a mate, but I know I feel connected to them on a whole other level than anyone else I have ever known. It's so strong that hurting Chase had felt as if I killed him. It sent my body into some sort of shock and the rest was so painful that I can barely remember it all.

"Nova..." Charles's voice is soft and patient but I move away from him and the others until I reach one of the chairs by the couch.

I lower myself into it and take several deep breaths before I look up at him.

"I know you're scared after what happened earlier but it was not your fault. Your body is going through an inexplicable change and that allows you some grace. None of us expects you to have a handle on something as life-changing as what you are enduring. We are here to help and support you in every way. It is why fate has chosen us as your mates and no one else." He explains and I want so badly to believe him.

If life was full of things like fate then I don't want it. That means everything I and my people have endured was meant to happen and I can't accept that.

"You don't get it!" I yell jumping to my feet. "This should have never happened! I am supposed to be dead! Why? Why did I live when all the others died? Why am I left to be tormented by whatever they made me into? This world has enough monsters but I could be the worst it's ever seen. I'm an abomination! A mistake!"

"No." Eli's deep voice cuts through my tirade. "You are not a mistake. You are a gift. This day is one I never thought I would see. So long I've lived a lonely life waiting to find the one person meant to complete my life. Are you saying I was never meant to find that person? Was I supposed to live forever waiting for you only to find out you were killed? Do you wish so badly to be gone that you would forget what our lives would be like without you?"

I look at him in shock. He's right. I have been so lost in my own grief and fear that I hadn't thought about what it must have been like for these guys before they found me. If they believe in fate, then they have been... lonely. Waiting for someone and not knowing if they would ever find them.

It's hard for me to accept that I can be that for them, but I don't want them to feel unwanted either. That realization fills me with a whole other feeling of guilt.

"I'm sorry. I've been so selfish. I'm just...scared. Lost. I don't know what my life is meant to be like now. What do I do? I grew up in that place and never once thought of a life outside of it. To me, there would never be another life for me. I'm not sure what to do now." I admit feeling all the tension melt away.

My body has been so tense that it's making me feel sore all over. Or maybe that's from what happened to me earlier. Speaking of...

"Charles. You said you helped me but you seem surprised I woke so quickly. Why?" I ask.

He sits across from me in the other chair and runs a hand through his dark hair.

"You should have been incapacitated for a longer period. Often times I have to awaken someone from that spell. You woke without any interference." He says.

"How do I do that?" I'm not sure I want to know but curiosity is winning out right now.

"The only thing that would make sense is your own power pulled you out of it. I am not sure of the extent of your enchanting abilities but it is something we should explore. However, doing so in this small space is not safe. We need to move forward with acquiring the land Asher found." He looks at Asher who nods his head.

"I can contact the realtor now, and ask them to rush us through the process. A little bribe should help get things moving quicker."

"But the land is empty isn't it?" I ask him.

"That won't be a problem," Charles says. "I can create something temporarily and we can work on something more permanent."

I shake my head. "No. You have used too much of your powers."

He gives me a confused look. Well, as much of a confused look for him. His expressions are more subtle than the other guys.

"How-"

"I...I can feel it." I say taking myself by surprise.

I hadn't been trying to sense him that deeply but when he touched me I felt it. He's weak and I won't let him hurt himself more. If I am going to be his mate, and stop sulking long enough to accept that fact then he needs to accept my words.

"I am alright..." He tries to say but I shake my head.

Pushing aside my worries I stand and move around the small table between us to stand in front of him. He tips his head back only slightly to look at me. I'm tiny compared to all these guys so even standing I'm not much taller than him. There is a second of hesitation before I reach out for him and place both my hands on either side of his face. I'm careful that my long nails don't hurt him and I focus on feeling him. It takes a second for me to pick up the small pulse of his power but it's there. It almost resembles a heartbeat but it's as if the power flows throughout his body.

I had no idea his power would be like this.

When I open my eyes and look down at him once again his eyes have bled to pure black, and somehow I know mine match. I can feel power flowing between us now and I try to push whatever I'm feeling toward him. His eyes widen slightly and I feel myself weaken. Not enough to truly hurt me but enough to make my knees buckle. He grabs me around the waist to steady me but I don't let him go. I need to give him as much as possible.

"Nova. Stop." His voice is breathy but laced with warning.

I don't stop. I want to see what more I can do to help him. Maybe my new purpose in this life is to make sure to keep my mates safe and strong.

"Nova." Charles's voice echoes louder but I'm watching him and his mouth isn't moving. "Nova stop. You will hurt yourself."

"Are you talking inside my head?" I think and he nods slightly.

"I can. You have bridged our minds. An ability very hard to achieve but will be quite useful later on." He tells me.

With his eyes still fixed on me he wraps his hands around my wrists and carefully pulls them away. I feel the power once more but it feels more like a caress than a push or pull sensation. It's as if the power humming through me is calling out to him and the sensation makes me shiver with awareness.

"Not to interrupt this weird moment between you, but I have to head down to the restaurant," Chase says bringing all our attention to him. "It might be best if I keep my regular schedule or we might get more visitors asking questions. I kept a pretty active life before all this and it's going to seem weird if I stop showing up around town."

"Then go. We can handle things with Nova without you." Asher growls.

Chase rolls his eyes. "She doesn't need handling pup. You all should probably get that through your heads. She may be our mate but she can handle herself just fine."

"She is still adjusting. That takes some time." Eli says and a wave of irritation bubbles up inside me.

"Look, guys. I know I'm not handling all of this in the best way, but Chase is right. I'm not a child that needs to be watched over and handled. If that's what our relationship is going to be like then this whole mate stuff isn't for me. We are equals or we're nothing. I deserve to have a voice in this relationship just as much as the rest of you."

I give them all a pointed look before continuing. "Now, Asher I would like to see the property myself and speak to the realtor. I may not have any money to contribute just yet but I have a few tricks of my own."

Okay, I don't but I need to talk myself up so that they don't look at me like the sad scared girl who needs rescuing forever. It's my fault though. I haven't been handling this well at all, but that needs to change. If I want to be their equal then I have to show I can handle this and whatever else comes our way.

Fake it till you make it. That is my new motto.