Chapter 19

“I’m cocooned in this shelter. I’m surrounded by a love that I don’t understand but desperately want to keep. Life is going on beyond the door that I hide behind, but I’m not ready to join it. I’m not ready to face the world. I only want him. I want his smile, his touch, his voice, his strength, and his attention.” ~Bethany


Bethany was lying in the bedroom staring up at the ceiling. It was late. Drake had finally carried her to the bed when she kept refusing to leave him on the couch. That had been around eleven. It was now—she looked over at the alarm clock on the bedside table—three a.m. She hadn’t been asleep at all. She’d tossed and turned and gone over all of the words Drake had said to her during the past twenty-four hours. Some of them had been whispered against her skin, and others had been teasing statements while they played a card game.
Bethany knew they couldn’t stay this way, locked behind the door, tucked away in their own private suite, focusing only on each other. She’d heard from Drake that the others in his pack, and the Romania pack, were continuing to fight the vampires and that they were also looking for one of the females who was mated to Decebel’s Beta. She felt guilty for staying there, safe and sound, while those who’d risked their lives to save her faced more dangers.
She heard a knock on the door and rose quickly to open it. Drake stood on the other side.
“I can’t sleep,” he said gruffly. He looked exhausted. He walked into the room, grabbing her by the waist at the same time. Drake climbed onto the bed, pulling her along with him and situated them in the center. He laid her on her back and turned on his side, wrapping his arms around her. Bethany’s head was tucked under his chin and his scent relaxed her. She was so caught off guard by the action that it took her a few minutes to realize that Drake was sound asleep. Within a few minutes of him drifting off, Bethany followed. His warmth seeped inside of her and contentment she hadn’t realize she’d been missing settled into her soul.
Something soft running across her lips and up her jawline drew Bethany away from her dreams. Her eyes opened and she blinked several times to clear the sleep. Drake’s handsome face was staring down at her and a crooked smile drew her gaze to his lips. She licked her own and felt butterflies in her stomach as his eyes followed the movement.
“Good morning,” she rasped out.
“Morning, beautiful,” he responded gently.
“Did you sleep well?”
His smile widened and his eyes sparkled with a contagious joy. “Best three hours of sleep I’ve ever had.”
“Ever?” Her eyes widened at the declaration.
“I was allowed to hold my mate while I slept. It’s hard to beat that.”
Bethany smiled. “I liked it too. I wasn’t able to sleep before you came in either. Something inside me was restless.”
“Sounds like it could be your wolf,” Drake offered. “She wants her mate. I’ve actually been thinking about it. My wolf is so possessive of you. The bond between wolf and wolf makes the true mate bond stronger. I wonder if he senses your dormant wolf. Even though you’re a dormant, your wolf will eventually come out. Sometimes, going through a painful experience can make the wolf come to the surface, and you’ve certainly been through something traumatic.
“Will the wolf ever be a part of me the way yours is a part of you, I mean, with the fur and stuff?” she asked, slightly unsettled at the thought.
“Yes. You can even phase. There’s a ceremony to pull the wolf forward if you want. It takes fae magic and the blood of your mate. It might be something that has to wait until after Peri isn’t dealing with a bunch of vampires, though. But I’m sure as soon as she’s able, she’d be willing to do the ceremony.”
Bethany didn’t know what to say to that. She’d never even considered the possibility of changing into a wolf. She thought that dormant meant that she just had some werewolf blood and that nothing other than the true mate thing would come out of it. The true mate thing was certainly weird enough, but transforming into a wolf, being part of a wolf pack, that was something else entirely.
“What do you want to do today?” Drake asked her as he wrapped strands of her hair around his fingers.
Bethany thought about it, but every time she considered something they could do, all she could think about was how Jen, Jacque, and the others were all doing things that put them in danger. She felt like she was on some vacation while they were risking their lives.
“Maybe we should,” she began but Drake was already shaking his head.
“There is no way I’m letting you put yourself in danger.” Drake tugged gently on her hair. “I just got you.”
“I just feel awful that they—”
Drake held up his hand stopping her. He climbed out of bed and jogged out of the room. Bethany frowned.
He was back in less than a minute with his cell phone up to his ear. “One sec,” he said into the phone. He reached out his arm, offering the cell phone to Bethany. She looked at him and then back to the offered phone.
“It’s for you,” he said.
“Who is it?” she asked him.
“Someone who can ease your guilt.”
Bethany took the phone and pressed it to her ear. “Hello?”
“Hey, my little protégé,” Jen’s voice chirped through the speaker.
“Jen?”
“The one and only,” she cooed.
“Are you awake?”
“Well, seeing as how it’s a little after one in the afternoon here, yes I’m awake.”
“Where are you?” Bethany asked, confused by Jen’s words.
“I’m in South Carolina making new friends.” Her words were upbeat, but Bethany could hear the weariness beneath it. “That’s neither here nor there. Your furball says you’re feeling bad that you’re shacked up, getting it on with him, instead of out here playing with the rest of us.”
“He said that?” Bethany couldn’t help but laugh. Drake was rolling his eyes and shaking his head as he climbed back into bed beside her.
“Yep, those exact words. Hold on a sec,” she said.
Bethany could hear arguing going on and then someone, she thought it was Jacque, yelped.
“Sorry about that. Jacque was just getting a little too big for her breeches. I had to knock her down a couple of sizes. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, don’t feel guilty, Beth. You’ve been through hell and back. And you may not realize it, but now that you’re the mate of a Canis lupus, you’re about to go through hell again.” Jen paused. “It’s not all bad. You won’t ever have to worry about him cheating on you or leaving you. Although the not leaving you thing can get old because they kind of mean that literally. Like they never. Ever. Leave.”
Bethany laughed. “He does like to stay close.” Drake had wiggled his arm underneath her and pulled her body snuggly against his. He growled at her.
“Is that butthead growling at you?” Jen asked. “See, you can’t come help us save the world because you’ve got to get him trained. Try a kennel. I hear those are pretty effective. I’ve got some shock collars stashed in our suite. If you get desperate, by all means, zap his ass.”
“I think you’ve given Jen enough of your attention,” Drake told her through their bond.
“Drake says I have to go,” Bethany told her and then laughed when Drake poked her in the side.
“Tell Drakey poo that I’ll let that slide this time, but only because I’m like three thousand miles away or something, and sleep deprived. Oh, and don’t tell my mate you talked to me if you happen to see him. I don’t think you will because they’re hunting down Costin right now, but I like to cover all my bases.”
“The Alpha doesn’t know that you’re in South Carolina?” Drake asked.
“Drake, go back to ogling your mate and stay out of this convo. Bethany,” Jen said.
“Yes?”
“Give him hell, girl. It’s in the book.”
“There is no book.” Bethany heard Jacque say.
“What book?” Bethany asked.
“The handbook,” Jen answered, not clarifying anything at all.
“Oh, are you writing a handbook for dormants on the healthy transition of living with a new mate?” Bethany asked. “Brilliant idea.”
“Why yes, yes I am.”
“That could come in really handy,” Bethany admitted.
“No it wouldn’t,” Drake grumbled.
Jen laughed. “Bethany, you can be my co-writer. Take notes. In fact, we can include a chapter on all that stuff you, me, and Red chitchatted about. Is your face bright red? I bet your face is bright red. Did you tell your mate that I told you all about ora—”
“Okay, thanks, Jen. I totally won’t feel guilty. Be safe!” Bethany said quickly and then ended the call.
“What was she talking about?” Drake asked. “What did she tell you all about?”
“I don’t think we need to get into that right now,” Bethany said, trying not to blush furiously.
“So what do you think we do need to get into right now?” Drake asked her with a crooked smile plastered on his handsome face.
“I’m thinking I need to get into the shower.” Bethany started to climb out of the bed but stopped when Drake snagged her arm. She looked over her shoulder at him and couldn’t help but return his cheeky grin.
“Need some help?”
For a heartbeat, she couldn’t speak. Flashes of what that could lead to and the things Jen and Jacque had explained to her ran through her mind before she had time to block her thoughts. Drake sucked in a ragged breath and that was all it took to pull her from her fantasy. She couldn’t even look at him as she yanked her arm free and ran for the bathroom. She shut the door and had it locked before she heard his palm hit the wood hard enough to shake the wall.
“Bethany,” he rasped. To her surprise, beneath the desire, she could also feel his frustration and even a little bit of anger.
What could he possibly be angry about? she thought as she quickly undressed and turned on the water. The shower spray came out strong and was hot in no time, but it didn’t drown out her mate’s commands for her to open the door. Yeah, like that was going to happen.
“Bethany, we need to talk about this,” Drake called. His voice was rough with his wolf.
Oh, they most definitely did not need to talk about it. Before she’d talked to the girls, she hadn’t been embarrassed, but that was because she was too ignorant to be embarrassed. Now that she knew what went on between mates, there was no way she could talk about it with Drake and not turn the color of a tomato.
He continued to call out to her through the door but she continued to ignore him. She’d stay in the bathroom the whole day if she had to.
“I will come in there and drag you out if I have to,” he growled at her.
“Gah!” she huffed. Why couldn’t she remember to shut the bond down when she was thinking about things she didn’t want Drake to see?
“Because you should want me to see everything you think. You’re my mate. I should know everything about you.”
“Ha!” Bethany called out. “That is not going to happen. A person deserves some privacy, even from her mate.”
Drake growled at her. “So you don’t mind if there are things that I don’t tell you?”
Bethany once again thought about the things Jen told her and felt her skin heat. “Nope, I don’t mind one bit.”
Drake was fighting his wolf with everything he had. Now that he and Bethany had completed the Blood Rites, his wolf was chomping at the bit to perform the mate ceremony and complete the bond in every way. He wanted their mate with a ferocity that surprised even the man, not that Drake didn’t crave her with every cell in his body as well.
The things that had run through her mind, the things Jen—he growled at the Alpha female’s name—had told his mate, made even him blush. What on earth had they talked about after he left her in the library two nights ago? He knew that she was going to ask them questions about the physical side of the relationship between true mates, but he had no clue Jen and Jacque would be so incredibly thorough.
As he stood at the bathroom door with his forehead pressed against the wood, and his hands on either side of his face, he fought the drive to remove the obstacle between him and what was his. He bit back the rising growl and frustration over not being able, once again, to touch his mate.
“Bethany,” his wolf rumbled as he pulled his head back only to thump his forehead back against the door.
He heard her sigh as she stepped under the spray of the shower. That sigh interrupted the concentration it had been taking him to hold onto control of the beast. Before he could register what he was doing, Drake twisted the doorknob and broke it as if it were nothing more than a toy. He pushed the door open with such force that it smacked against the wall and rebounded off. Drake didn’t even notice it hit his shoulder as he turned and stared at the shower curtain. He couldn’t see anything but her shadow, but it was the loveliest shadow he’d ever seen.
“Mine,” he breathed out as he took a step forward.
“Drake?” Bethany called out. She pulled the shower curtain aside just enough to poke her head out. Her eyes widened when she saw him, but he wasn’t looking at her eyes. Drake was too busy watching the droplets of water cascade down the bare shoulder that he could see. His eyes tracked the water and his mind ran with images of his tongue chasing after them.
He knew that she could feel his need and hear his thoughts through the bond since he didn’t have the control to block her. To his surprise, she didn’t take a step back but instead leaned forward, obviously intrigued by his desire.
It was too much. Her curiosity and the obvious desire in her own eyes pushed his wolf too far. Drake walked over to her and put his hand on the shower curtain. He stared up into her eyes asking for permission. But instead of granting it, she pushed the shower curtain back. His eyes stayed on her face with a herculean effort.
“We can wait,” he said, his voice hoarse. “If you want to do the human marriage thing. I’ll wait for you.”
Bethany frowned at him. “Aren’t we married, so to speak, in the eyes of the Canis lupus? I mean, we have both bitten each other, which Jen said would be completing the Blood Rites. How much more official could we get?”
Did she seriously just say that? he asked himself. Drake closed his eyes tightly, trying to get himself under control. Then, he felt her hand on his face. It was all the consent he needed. Moving with supernatural speed, he wrapped an arm around her and lifted her from the shower. Between one breath and the next, they were back on the bed.
Drake laid her down and stepped back. He looked down at her longingly. She was breathtaking and she was his.
“Drake,” she said. His name was breathless on her lips and it drove his wolf crazy.
He covered her body with his own and was careful not to put too much of his weight on her. Her hands came up to cup his face and the love staring back at him through her eyes took his breath away.
“I love you, Bethany,” he whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. From that moment on, everything was a blur of passion, hands, mouths, whispered words, and breathy gasps as he showed her with every touch how precious she was to him.



“Everything okay with your friend?” Sally asked as Jen walked back over to her and Peri. Jacque trailed behind her, giving her the stink eye, which Jen ignored. They’d met at Sally’s apartment that morning, after an entire night outside—thanks to Peri.
“She’s in a new relationship and unsure of herself. He’s older, more knowledgeable, and it intimidates her,” Jen explained.
“And Jen here thinks she is the relationship expert in our posse,” Jacque said.
“Don’t be bitter,” Peri said patting Jacque.
Jacque shot her a dirty look. “You are not off the hook. You left.” She paused and glanced at Sally, then corrected herself. “You locked us out last night and said it was a prank!”
“Lucian called and I didn’t want to be disturbed,” Peri said a little too eagerly for Jen’s liking.
Jen smirked. “If you two would just sext like the rest of us instead of talking out loud, we could have slept in our own damn beds,” she snarled.
Sally was covering her mouth trying not to laugh.
Jacque smiled at her. “Sorry, we don’t really have filters.”
Sally shook her head as she chuckled. “By all means, be filter-less. This is the most fun I’ve had in—” She paused to think about it. And then she grabbed her head. “Ow!”
“Sally?” Peri asked as she placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “I’ve been getting these headaches and they seem to be getting worse.”
“Does something trigger them?” Jacque asked.
“Actually, yes. It’s weird. They happen every time I try to remember anything before my parent’s death. Not only does my head hurt, but I also can’t remember anything. It’s like there’s nothing there. It’s a big void.”
“Maybe it’s just because it’s a painful memory,” Jacque offered.
Jen shot Peri a look and she shrugged. Fat lot of help she was.
“Anyways…” Sally blew it off. “Any other stores y’all want to go in?”
Later that night, they said goodnight to Sally and Peri flashed them back to the Romania pack mansion. This time Peri didn’t leave them behind. As soon as Jen’s feet were on the ground, she opened the bond. It wasn’t night yet in Romania, but the time change was killing them and they needed to catch some sleep while they could.
“How is it going, B?” she asked him.
“Where. Have. You. Been.” Whoa, he sounded pissed. And that just turned her on.
“I’ve been helping Jacque take care of things,” she hedged.
“What things?
“Girl things. Now, how is it going?”
She heard him sigh and felt how tired he was. “He killed a human.”
“What!” Jen was shaking her head as if that would somehow make Decebel’s words untrue. “Are you going to have to kill him?”
“I don’t know. We still haven’t caught up with him. He’s a damn smart hunter and knows how to evade us.”
“Don’t kill him if there is any chance that Sally can bring him back,” she pleaded with her mate.
“He murdered someone, Jennifer. I can’t ignore that.”
She wanted to yell at him that she didn’t care if he murdered the whole dang continent, he was her best friend’s mate and Sally would be devastated or dead. She wasn’t really sure which. Even though Sally and Costin were bonded, no one knew to what degree the bond had been damaged or completely severed.
“I love you,” Decebel told her.
“I love you back.”
“Behave,” he growled.
“You know most mates tell their females to be careful,” Jen teased.
“They aren’t mated to you, baby.”
Jen gave him a mental kiss and then headed off to find her daughter. She needed some Thia snuggling time desperately.
Jacque felt Fane’s frustration before she said anything.
“You closed the bond.”
“Not completely,” she countered.
“What are you and Jen up to?” Fane asked, suspicion lacing his tone.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she teased.
“Jacquelyn,” Fane growled at her. Why was that hot? Jen must be rubbing off on her.
“I’m safe, isn’t that what matters?”
“How’s our son,” he asked, ignoring her comment.
Jacque walked into their suite right when he asked and saw her mom rocking Slate.
“He’s asleep, and he’s beautiful,” she told him, dodging yet another attempt at him trying to catch her in a lie. She knew exactly what her mate was doing.
“Have you had any problems with him nursing?” Now he was just reaching because, seriously, who asks that?
“Are you just trying to get a conversation started involving my girls?” Jacque asked.
She could feel his frustration. Giving up, he filled her in on the Costin situation and Jacque felt sick over the human’s death. She wondered what Jen had to say about it.
“Get some sleep, Luna, I can feel how tired you are,” he told her finally.
“You too, wolf-man. You sound exhausted.”
“I miss you. I miss Slate. And I’m just frustrated with everything.”
Jacque understood where he was coming from. “I miss you too. Be safe. I love you.”
She felt his lips on her forehead and closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation. When she opened them again, her mom was smiling at her.
“Little chat with your mate?”
Jacque nodded. “I was strategically answering questions, hoping to avoid having to lie.”
“Why don’t you just tell him that you have to be with her? I told you what I saw,” Lilly urged.
“Because Canis lupus males are completely unreasonable when it comes to the safety of their females and it won’t matter what you saw. All Fane will be thinking about is that he isn’t with me to protect me. He needs to be able to focus on finding Costin, not worrying about me.”
“Well, he’s your mate and you know him best, so do what you need to. I’ll be here to help Alina with Slate and Thia. So don’t worry about them while y’all are helping Sally.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Jacque said as she took Slate from her mother. He immediately turned his face toward her, even though he was sound asleep.
Jacque held her son, taking the seat her mom had occupied. She was exhausted, but she just needed to hold him. When she got too tired to stay awake, she put his bassinet right next to her and climbed into the bed. She laid her hand beside him, placing her finger in his tiny hand. Jacque was asleep before her mom turned out the lights as she left.



“Our mates are up to something,” Fane said to Decebel as Jacque slipped from his mind. They’d found clothes hanging on a clothesline in one of the few homes that were scattered throughout the mountains. They’d phased from their wolves so they could talk, and they were walking, taking a much-needed break, through the forest. All three men were frustrated to no end at not having caught Costin yet.
“When are they not up to something?” Vasile asked his son.
Decebel chuckled. “Jen doesn’t consider the fact that I can slip in her mind while she’s sleeping.”
“Don’t you feel bad about invading her thoughts while she sleeps?” Fane asked.
Decebel laughed. “Fane, consider who my mate is.”
Fane shrugged. “True.” He reached for his own mate and found that she was asleep. He smiled to himself. He felt a little bad, but at the same time, he wanted to know what she was keeping from him.
He heard Decebel’s growl and then let out his own growl.
“They went with Peri to Oceanside,” Fane snapped.
Decebel stopped abruptly and snarled. “Peri left them! She left them in Oceanside all night, by themselves.”
Vasile turned to look at him. “You know how much Peri cares about those girls. She kept an eye on them I’m sure. She was probably teaching them a much-needed lesson.”
“They sat on a swing all night,” Fane bit out, trying to consider his father’s words and not the fact that he wanted to rip Peri a new one for abandoning his mate.
“I know that you guys want your females to stay put, but you’ve been with them long enough to know that the likelihood of that is about the same as Desdemona coming back from the grave as Glenda the good witch. We need to focus on Costin and trust that Peri will not let anything happen to them.”
Decebel’s eyes glowed amber. “I’m still going to take a bite out of my mate when I see her again.”
Fane chuckled. “That won’t be a punishment to her.”
Decebel shoved Fane who just laughed harder.
Finally, after another few hours of walking on two feet, Vasile stopped. “What do you think about bedding down here for a couple of hours before we phase and track his scent again?”
Both Fane and Decebel agreed.
The three men each propped themselves up against a tree. Fane wanted to slip back into his mate’s mind, just so he could feel close to her, but he knew he wouldn’t get any sleep if he did. He closed his eyes and tried to push away the horror of finding the dead human, the frustration of being separated from his mate, and the fact that they couldn’t catch up with Costin. All in all, it was a hell of a day.



Costin knew they were hunting him. He had caught their scent a couple of times. His wolf was leading them on a merry chase, doubling back and going over his trail again and then splashing through streams to try and shake them.
They’d found the dead human. He knew it because they’d picked up their pace after that. Decebel was probably thinking that he was beyond saving and dreading the idea of having to kill him. Costin had thought he was too, but then he’d come upon that man attempting to rape a female. With a flash of rage, he saw Sally as the victim. He’d dragged the man off of the woman and through the forest far away from her. And then his wolf had taken his rage out on the rapist.
He had wanted to go back and make sure that the female got to safety—he knew there was a house near where he’d found them—but his wolf was too worked up. So he ran. He ran until he felt as though he was going to collapse. Having pulled himself from the darkness long enough to kill the man that had been attacking Sally—but not really Sally—had helped him keep it together a little longer. And now that he was thinking just a bit clearer, he knew what he had to do in order to keep himself alive long enough to find his mate. It was desperate, but he couldn’t think of another way.
With a painful howl of turmoil, he sped onward to the one place that he knew he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else if his wolf lost control again—the In Between. It would be another day before he made it to the bridge, and he needed to come up with a payment for the troll. He wouldn’t be able to fight his way in. Even if he defeated the troll, the gate wouldn’t open unless the troll opened it himself, so that was priority number one for tomorrow. Slowing to trot, almost collapsing from exhaustion, Costin found a nice hole at the base of a large tree. With the screams of the rapist, and the whimpers of the poor girl he’d saved, ringing in his ears, he curled up for the night, hoping against hope that he might get some small amount of peaceful sleep before the coming ordeal the following day.
He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep when he felt a nudge to wake up. He blinked his eyes open and saw soft, pure, white light illuminating the area around him. Costin stood and realized he was in his human form and wearing a pair of shorts.
“Costin Miklos, my child, mate to Sally, father of Titus, and Beta of the Serbia pack,” the Great Luna called him.
He turned to face her and then bowed his head. “Maker,” he said, his voice full of awe. He felt peace for the first time since he’d lost his mate.
“You have been strong. You have stumbled, but you have not fully succumbed to the darkness. I implore you to stand fast. Your time in this world is not over, nor is your mates.”
Costin fell to his knees at the mention of Sally. “I miss her,” he admitted. “I miss her so much and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to function without her. I lived so long without her, and then boom, there she was, and her light practically blinded me. Her goodness and kindness radiated from her but now she’s gone. She’s just gone.” Costin’s heart felt as though it was going to pound out of his chest as he poured himself out to his Creator. He was so very broken and trying desperately to hold it together.
He felt her hand on his head and the compassion she had for him flowed over him like a raging river. It filled every fiber of his being and he fell forward until he was bracing himself on his hands.
“She is the one I created for you. I did not design you to be an island. I designed you to complement each other. Her weaknesses are your strengths and yours are her strengths. But I also must allow you to go through the trials. Love is never easy. And choosing to love your mate through difficult, painful situations shows what kind of person you have become. You are wise to go to a place where you can control your wolf. Don’t take the easy road and give in. The reward for standing strong is so much better.” She stepped back and Costin stayed kneeling. “Remember you are loved, Costin of the Grey Wolves. I have loved you with an everlasting love and, no matter what, you cannot lose that love.”
Costin felt her presence leave him, but he could still feel her inside of him. He could feel her love. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall. He cried for his mate, he cried for the grace he felt from his Creator, and he cried for all of the lives that would be lost when all was said and done. He phased back to his wolf and once again curled up in the hole at the base of the tree. Morning would come quickly and he would have to push himself to make it to the In Between before Decebel caught up with him. He knew his Alpha felt responsible for his actions. If he could make it to the In Between in time, then he could keep his wolf at bay long enough to explain about the human.
That was his plan, at least. With the way life had been going for the past two weeks, he wasn’t putting a whole lot of stock in it, but he had to do something. He had to hold it together for his mate. Oh, how he missed her.