Chapter 20

“Just when you think life can’t get any weirder. It does. And doesn’t that just make you want to rear back and kick someone in the nuts?” ~ Zara


Skender listened as Alston and Sincaro discussed the best way for the Order to proceed, given that the high fae were apparently aware of their workings in Oceanside. They’d been in touch with the King of the elves, and he’d informed the Order that he was in the process of taking the kingdom back from his son. Skender didn’t see how it could possibly be that easy since Prince Thalion had been leading the elves for many years and they were loyal to him. The situation in Oceanside was much more concerning. Skender had warned Alston that if Peri were involved, then Vasile and his wolves wouldn’t be far behind. Skender knew what would happen if Vasile interfered and it wouldn’t be pretty. Skender had tried warning the Order leaders, but they wouldn’t listen. What pissed him off most is that he was the one who would have to go in and clean up the mess that was left behind when the wolves did come. And if Costin ended up in Oceanside, there was going to be a big ass mess.



Costin reached the bridge that led to the entrance of the In Between a few hours after sunrise. His wolf was not excited about going back into that hell hole, but he knew the rules of the In Between. If you went there willingly, seeking sanctuary, the experience wasn’t nearly as bad as when you were placed there for punishment.
He phased back into his human form and put on the shorts he’d carried in his mouth that the Great Luna had provided him. He pulled the three gold pieces out of the pocket. He’d found them lying beside him when he’d woken up. His Creator had provided exactly what he needed in order to gain entrance. The gift was confirmation that the In Between would be able to keep his wolf from going beyond the point of no return.
He started across the bridge and, as he expected, the troll stepped up in front of him, coming from somewhere beneath it.
“No payment, no pass,” he barked.
Costin held out the gold pieces. “I have payment.”
The troll stepped forward and examined the gold. After several long moments, the beast decided that the offering was sufficient. He took the gold and stepped aside so that Costin could cross over.
“Have a nice stay,” the troll cackled.
Costin pushed his wolf down, fighting the urge to kill the stupid creature. Since he’d never fought a troll before, he wasn’t sure how he would fare against the monster. He continued forward, his face set and his pace determined. As he entered into the other realm, he immediately felt the temperature drop several degrees. He was in a corridor, which he followed as it grew darker and darker. After about ten minutes of walking, he began to feel something growing inside of him. Those fears that lived inside of him began to surface, but they were different from the last time he was here. This time they were about himself. What if he never found her? What if he found her and she had been tortured? How would his wolf handle it? At that point, the fear that stood out the most was his fear of going feral and never seeing Sally again. He forced his wolf down as he leaned back against the wall and let the images come. It wasn’t nearly as bad as when the pixies had put him there, but it wasn’t a swim in the creek either.
He saw himself ripping into innocent humans and tried to close his eyes to the carnage, but the In Between isn’t that kind. He had to watch it and anything else that it grabbed from the deepest recesses of his mind.
Time was a blur. He had no idea how long he’d been there. He didn’t know day from night. All he knew was his wolf was contained, but the human was beginning to go mad.



Vasile came to a halt about fifty feet from the bridge. “He went in there.” The Alpha pointed to the entrance to the In Between. The three had risen early that morning before dawn and finally picked up Costin’s scent after searching and sniffing for about an hour. Now they were less than an hour behind him, judging by the strength of the scent.
“Why would he go in there?” Decebel asked.
Vasile pondered what Costin could possibly be thinking. Why would Costin go into the In Between unless he wanted to make certain that he was contained—that he couldn’t hurt anyone else if his wolf went feral. If the Beta was able to think that rationally, then he probably wasn’t fully gone.
“Maybe he knew it would protect everyone else,” Fane spoke up, almost as if he’d read Vasile’s mind.
“That’s what I was thinking,” the Romanian Alpha told them.
“But what about the man we found?” Decebel asked. “Why would he have killed that man if his wolf wasn’t already feral?”
Vasile shrugged. “Maybe there is more to that story than we know.”
“What are we going to do now?” Fane asked.
“I don’t think we should go barreling in after him. We know what kind of torture awaits in that place. I, for one, am not in a hurry to experience it again. Costin has made his choice. We have to trust him now—trust in the good man that we know him to be. We will camp out here for a few days. If Costin doesn’t emerge we will head home and set a watch on the bridge to ensure that he doesn’t leave,” Vasile explained as he found a comfortable spot to sit.
He laid his head back against the tree behind him and closed his eyes. “Mina,” he called to his mate.
“Vasile,” she answered in that calm, impersonal way. She was upset he knew. She was upset because she thought they were going to have to kill Costin. His mate, mother to all, couldn’t stand the idea of one of theirs— especially Sally’s mate—being put to death.
“Temper your anger, love. He isn’t dead and we aren’t going to execute him.” He felt her relief as if it was his own.
“Where is he?”
“He went into the In Between.”
“What?” Alina gasped.
“Costin is clever. He knows that he can hurt no one in there. This suggests to me that he is not completely feral. He killed a man. That much we know. Perhaps, that snapped him back to his human side for a bit,” Vasile explained. “We’re going to stay here for a few days and make sure he doesn’t leave. Then I’m going to have Peri bring us back a few times a week to check with the troll to see if he’s left. Hopefully, we’ll hear good news about Sally sooner than later.”
“Be safe, Alpha. I love you.”
He smiled to himself. “I always am, Mina. I miss you. Kiss my grandson for me.” Vasile let himself drift into a shallow sleep after speaking with his mate. Their hunt had taken an unexpected turn, but he was thankful for it. Now if they could just get Sally to remember something—anything that would allow Costin to return to her.



Cyn watched as the man she loved paced restlessly in a cottage on the outermost part of the kingdom. They were waiting on a few of his supporters—those who would remain loyal to him—to meet them there. His father hadn’t wasted any time in taking back the castle and he had the nerve to bring vampires with him. The elves defending the castle hadn’t stood a chance against Ludcarab. Thalion and Cyn had fought tooth and nail but were soon overwhelmed and driven into the wilderness.
“He’s delusional if he thinks I will hand my people over to him and those parasites,” Thalion growled.
Cyn had only seen him that upset a few times before, and always when she had been in danger. She’d tried to soothe his rage, but he was too upset—and rightfully so.
“Do you have the loyalty of the blacksmiths?” she asked him. Cyn was already thinking tactically. She knew that they wouldn’t be able to take back the kingdom without help. That help, whether it be fae, wolves, warlocks, pixies, or humans, would need weapons, and the elven blacksmiths made the very best. By the same token, should those resources fall into the hands of the vampires…Cyn shuddered to think about it.
“I don’t see why I wouldn’t. I can’t imagine there are many, if any, of my people who will bow to a king that stands beside vampires.”
“Thalion,” she said his name softly, which always caught his attention and this time was no exception. He stopped in front of her and his countenance softened. “Yes?”
“Why did you never take the title of king? If your father had died, why did people continue to call you a prince?”
“Because, though I took over his rule at his supposed death, there is a certain age an elf must reach before he can take the title of king. I am not there yet.”
Cyn nodded as though she understood. She didn’t, but then, every species, including her own, had its own strange customs and laws. This made her think of another question. “Will I be queen when we mate?”
His lips turned up and he stepped closer to where she sat on the edge of the dining room table. He pushed her legs apart and stepped in between them. Thalion’s hand cupped her face as he looked down at her. His eyes held complete adoration in them. “You will be my queen. But my people will only recognize you as my consort. You are not an elf and, therefore, cannot hold the title of queen.” His voice held sadness in it.
“That doesn’t bother me,” she told him. “I am not offended by it…if you’re worried about that.”
His lips turned up in a wisp of a smile. “And that is one of the many reasons why I love you. You, my love, are incredibly selfless.”
She grinned at him. “That’s not how you felt when I was serving my own people and not mating with you.”
He chuckled. “Can you blame me? I wanted you for my own. I’ve wanted you for decades and you have spurned my advances. There has never been another, Cyn. I never touched another woman after I met you. I couldn’t. Every other woman pales in comparison to you. The few kisses you let me steal over the decades were the only physical contact I have had with the opposite sex.”
“There were some that were more than kisses, Prince,” she teased. “You act as if I left you wanting every time we saw each other.”
His hand slipped around her neck as he grasped her hair and pulled her head back, tilting it and holding her still. “You still leave me wanting. I can never get enough of you. You’ve accepted my claim, but you do not wear my ring on your hand, nor do you sleep in our bed. I will be wanting until I hold you every night, until I kiss you every morning, until I see your body rounded with my child growing inside of you. I will be in wanting of you until I have the right to touch you whenever I choose, until you’ve claimed every inch of me as your own, until you ache for me as much as I do for you.” He didn’t give her time to respond. His lips were against hers as she sucked in a breath at his passionate words. He pressed closer to her and tightened his hold on her hair.
Cyn wrapped her arms around him, her hands clutching onto his shirt as if at any moment she could be ripped from his grasp. Thalion released her hair only to grasp her on either side of her waist and pick her up. Her legs wrapped around him and he turned, walking until her back was pressed up against a wall. Thalion’s large hands squeezed her thighs and she moaned at his touch. They needed to stop. There would be people there at any moment, but she could tell he needed her. He needed to be reassured that she was his and she wasn’t going anywhere.
“Love,” she gasped in between kisses. “We need to stop.”
Thalion gave her a growl worthy of an Alpha wolf. “They will knock before they come in. Right now…” He paused to run his tongue up her neck. “I need you,” he finished. He scraped his teeth across her flesh and Cyn made the most wanton sound she’d ever heard.
“By all that is majestic, Cyn, if you make that sound again the meeting will be postponed and you will be in my bed.”
He was serious, she could hear it in the sound of his voice. He’d been waiting so long to make her his. She’d always felt completely safe with him, but at that moment, she was so lost to him—his kiss and his touch—that she would have gone with him to his bed most joyfully.
Thalion jerked his face from her neck where he’d been diligently sucking when he heard a knock on the door. She nearly laughed when she saw the anger and frustration on his face.
She took his chin in her hand and turned it back to her. “We will continue this later.”
“First, we will see our holy man,” he declared, his voice gruff with desire. “Tonight I make you my bride. Then, you are correct, my beautiful female, we will continue this but it will be in our bed and with considerably less clothing.”
She knew she looked surprised, which put a satisfied smirk on his face as he stepped back allowing her to slide slowly down his body. He did it deliberately, but she couldn’t complain. He straightened her clothes and touched his lips one more times to hers.
He grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the living area and front door. “Let’s find out how many allies we have and formulate a plan. I don’t want this to take all day.”
“Eager?” she teased.
“You have no idea,” he purred as he stepped up to the door. He pulled it open and the first of many, many elves stepped inside.
Cyn watched as more and more began to arrive. Perhaps, they did have a chance at keeping his father from making the elves his slaves to the cause of the Order of the Burning Claw.



Zara wandered the halls of the Romania pack mansion. Her little charge was currently playing with Thia under the watchful eye of Alina and Lilly. Slate was there as well, but he was a tad too young to play just yet. She had been thankful that Alina offered to take him for a little while. Zara had been feeling restless and needed to be alone to think.
Her footsteps were quiet as she ran her fingers along the wall beside her. She was in a part of the mansion she’d never been in before, not that that was surprising—the place was massive. She was glad she’d finally ventured out of her own suite, but she still felt very lost. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with the rest of her life. Would she have a true mate like Bethany? She couldn’t imagine any guy ever wanting her. He’d take one look at her body, with all the scars from the teeth of the leeches who’d fed from her, and be disgusted. And those bites weren’t even the worst part.
Her stomach clenched and her heart hurt at the thought of never knowing the love of another. She’d seen the way the males of the Canis lupus treated their mates. Who wouldn’t want that? They were so gentle, even when frustrated with the females. They rarely stopped touching their mates and the way they looked…well, that was enough to make anyone needy with desire. She’d never have that, and that was almost worse than having been tortured by the vampires.
As she rounded a corner, Zara ran head first into someone who was in an incredible hurry. She bounced off a firm chest and caught herself on the wall before she could fall onto her butt. She stepped back, her skin suddenly flushed and her heart pounding hard in her chest. She was afraid to look up. Something inside of her was warning her—telling her that if she did look up, her entire life was going to change, again.
Wadim was breathless as he looked down at the woman in front of him. She was young, no doubt, but she was definitely a woman. His woman. He’d felt her as he was coming up the stairs from the archive room. Her thoughts had filled his mind and his legs were moving before he realized it. His wolf was desperate to get to her and suddenly there she was. Wadim could already smell her scent; it clung to him from where she ran into his chest. She smelled like caramel mixed with toffee and his mouth watered. He wanted to laugh that his mate smelled like two of his favorite flavors. She was perfect. But she wouldn’t look up at him. Why?
“Zara?”
Her breathing hitched. She’d heard her name, but he hadn’t said it out loud. She still didn’t look up.
“I…you…” he began aloud now. “We must talk. You and I are…has anyone explained to you yet… about the mate bond?” he asked her gently.
“Yes, but I can’t have a mate,” she finally spoke.
Her head rose slowly and her eyes met his. She was beautiful, with dark chocolate hair that reached her waist. Her eyes were large and a beautiful shade of light green. She had a cute nose that he immediately wanted to kiss. Her skin was pale, but her lips were a rich red color and looked delicious. His eyes wandered down her form. He probably shouldn’t have been checking his mate out in that particular moment, but he and his wolf were desperate for her. Her frame was petite. He would be able to wrap one arm all the way around her tiny waist. Regardless of the fact that she was a little too thin, owing to her recent captivity, it was obvious that she was plenty curvy. Her hips flared out from her waist and her legs were shapely in the skinny jeans she wore. He was trying to be a gentleman and not notice how ample her chest was, especially for one so small, but he was failing miserably. With an incredible amount of self-control, he forced his eyes back up to her lovely face. The frown on her face reminded him of the words she’d just said. I can’t have a mate.
Wadim wasn’t a submissive wolf, but he wasn’t terribly dominant either. The claws would come out when necessary, but as the pack historian, he was more at home in his archives than on the battlefield. That being said, he and his wolf were still incredibly possessive. All wolves were when it came to their mates, not just the super dominant ones.
“You can and you do. And his name is Wadim,” he said, attempting to keep his wolf from making an appearance. She stood, staring at him, feeling very unsure of herself. He was trying not to seem imposing, but his six foot, three-inch frame towered over her. He was too close than was considered appropriate for people who’d just met, but his wolf wouldn’t let him move back.
“Are you sure?” she asked. She was serious and that baffled him.
“Do you hear me?” he asked through the bond.
Her breath caught as she nodded.
“Do you feel me?” Wadim pictured himself running his fingers through her long tresses and he watched in utter fascination as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back as though he was physically touching her.
“How did you do that?” Zara asked him as her eyes popped open.
“That would be the true mate bond. We have a powerful mental link. If I imagine I’m touching you, you will feel it as if I really were. It’s one of the ways we find our true mates.”
“And the other ways?”
Wadim rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced around them. The corridor was empty, but it still felt like too public a place to have that conversation. “Would you, um, maybe like to come down to the archive room and talk with me?” He didn’t want to freak her out, but he didn’t want her to leave either.
“What’s the archive room?”
“It’s a room in the basement where we keep all of our records. The entire history of the werewolf race is contained there. A member of my family has acted as the pack historian for centuries, and now it is my turn,” he explained “My room is down there too. But that’s not where I’m suggesting we go,” he added quickly. “There’s a main room at the bottom of the stairs where most of the texts are kept.”
“You’re going to explain this mate business in more detail, right?” She truly wanted to know. Wadim could feel her eagerness. She longed for it to be true.
He nodded. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“Anything?”
“Yes, of course. I have no secrets from you. We are true mates. Not that I could keep anything from you anyway,” he said grinning and tapping the side of his head.
“Okay,” she said finally. “I’ll come with you to talk.”
It took everything he had not to throw his arm up in victory. He held out his hand to her, needing to touch her. After a long pause, she slipped her small hand in his. Wadim turned so that she couldn’t see his face. His eyes closed and he focused on the incredible sensation of her skin against his. Mine, his wolf growled. Indeed, he thought, she is ours.
He led her to the stairs, and then down into what all the other pack members liked to call the dungeon. It didn’t look like a dungeon, of course. It looked much more like the library of…well…an ancient supernatural being. The walls were lined with ancient leather-bound books, and plush worn leather armchairs were scattered throughout the room. After a few awkward moments, he reluctantly released her hand and let her roam the room, looking at the books and then the tables with their intricate carvings. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He had to make himself stand still because his wolf wanted to follow her around like a puppy and attempt to lick any part of her he could reach. Good grief, man, pull it together, he growled at himself.
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, hoping that would keep him from grabbing her and sitting her in his lap, where her neck would be positioned very close to his mouth. He felt his canines lengthen at the thought of marking her. He snapped his mouth closed and willed them to go back to normal.
Zara pulled out a chair at one of the tables and looked up at him. “Okay, so the mind link thingy is one way that you say that you know we are true mates. I assume this means no other wolf will be able to hear my thoughts.”
Wadim growled. “No, you’re mine.”
“Okay, so that was a little weird and caveman-ish,” she said and he could tell she was relaxing a bit.
“Sorry,” he grumbled.
“What are the other signs?”
“You have a scent only I can smell.” She blushed, causing her skin to heat and intensifying that smell. Wadim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “And it’s mouthwatering.”
“Again, weird. Even a little weirder, actually. But out of curiosity, what do I smell like?”
His eyes opened and landed on her. He knew they were glowing by the way her mouth dropped open. “Caramel and toffee,” he practically moaned.
She looked a little afraid, which he didn’t like.
“Forgive me, Zara. I know this is all new to you. I’m fighting instinct and it makes my wolf edgy.”
“And no one else can smell me?”
“Well they can smell you,” Wadim responded, “but they can’t smell what I smell. Like if you stunk like body odor, then obviously they could smell that, but they couldn’t smell the toffee…I mean, not that you would ever stink…I’m just saying…it’s different…never mind.” His voice faded and he growled something to himself that Zara didn’t catch.
“What’s the other thing that confirms we’re mates?” she asked, putting the poor wolf out of his misery.
Wadim hesitated briefly before pulling his shirt over his head. Taking it on faith that his markings had indeed grown, he turned so that she could see him. He wasn’t a full dominant so his markings didn’t come all the way to the front. They ran across his back, and now, he hoped, up to the back of his neck.
“These are mate markings,” he said pointing behind him. “Every male has them. When a werewolf meets his true mate, they change. Do they go all the way up to my neck?”
“Yes,” she said a little breathlessly.
“They weren’t up to my neck this morning. They changed. These markings will match the ones on your body.”
“I don’t have any markings on my body.”
Wadim turned back around and put his shirt back on. “Maybe you didn’t yesterday, but I’d bet every priceless book in this room that somewhere on your beautiful body, you wear my markings.”
Her face fell and her eyes filled with sorrow. “You wouldn’t think my body was beautiful if you’d seen it.”
Wadim felt as if she’d kicked him in the gut. She didn’t get it, but then, why would she? She wasn’t raised with her own kind. He scooted his chair closer until his feet were nearly touching hers. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He was less than a foot from her kissable lips. “Zara, you don’t understand exactly how powerful the true mate bond is. And you shouldn’t, I guess, because you didn’t grow up learning our customs. But somehow, I will prove to you that there is nothing about you that could ever make me not want you. Nothing.”
Zara felt as though she’d been holding her breath from the moment she’d heard his voice in her mind. Minutes before she’d run into him, literally, she’d been despairing over the thought that she would never have a mate. Now, here he sat, claiming he was it. She didn’t really doubt him. The evidence was pretty irrefutable. But she was so scared she’d be a disappointment to him. Inside, she was terrified. She was good at putting up a front to survive. She could appear tough when she needed to. But in reality, she was a kidnap victim. She was nothing more than food. She’d been used and fed upon until there was nothing left inside. Desperately, she wanted to be worthy of someone’s love. She wanted so badly to have a man look at her the way Decebel looked at Jen, to have a man touch her the way Fane touched Jacque, to have a man need her the way Costin needed Sally. Now she sat across from Wadim, terrified to hope that maybe he would be those things to her.
Suddenly, he was on his knees in front of her. He was so tall that even on his knees his face was level with hers. He looked tortured. His hands came up and rested on her thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze.
“I am looking at you that way. I am touching you that way.” His hands slid up her thighs and around to either side of her waist. “And I do need you more than you can possibly understand. Costin is a pup compared to me. I have lived centuries. I have waited so much longer for you than he did for Sally. Feel it,” he told her and then she felt the bond in their mind open and his emotions mixed with her own. She felt his desperation as if he couldn’t breathe without her.
She looked at him, staring back at her with a longing that took her breath away. Wadim was handsome; his dark, wavy hair begged her fingers to run themselves through it. His gold eyes were intense and knowledgeable. He seemed to wear a perpetual smirk that was incredibly sexy and he looked like someone who loved to laugh. He was tall, but not wide and huge like Decebel or Fane. Wadim was solid but built more like a swimmer than a football player. He was perfect. And she was so far from it.
She tried to look away but he grabbed her chin, surprisingly gentle in his touch considering the frustration in his gold eyes.
“Don’t look away from me, Zara. Over the years, I’ve watched my pack mates with envy as they found their true mates and now you’re finally here. I want to see your lovely face. Truth be told, I would like to see more than that, but I will be patient.”
He was teasing her. The frustration was still there, but she could tell he was trying to put her at ease.
“Wadim.”
“Hmmm,” he sighed. “I love my name on your lips.”
She couldn’t help but smile, but it was fleeting. “If we are true mates, you deserve to know things before you commit to this.” She motioned between them.
“You still don’t understand. There is no if,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “You are mine—my true mate.”
“Right, got it. But like you said I didn’t grow up with your kind. I’ve only known humans and vampires. I’m not normal. I’m damaged. I mean, I cope mentally because it’s either that or roll up in a ball and cry for the rest of my life, but the damage is not just mental. Physically, I’m very damaged.”
“Not in my eyes,” he said gently.
She wanted to growl. He wasn’t understanding and he deserved to know before he was stuck with her. She figured most couples didn’t discuss such intimate things after only just meeting, but she wouldn’t be able to trust him until he knew the truth.
“You can tell me anything, Z,” he said gently as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers.
“Z?”
He shrugged. “I figured you’d like that better than some of the other things I want to call you.”
There was that smirk again. “You’re probably right,” she lied. But she didn’t want to think about those things until after she’d told him everything.
“Okay,’’ she took a deep breath. “But I need to stand up and walk. I can’t be touching you while I tell you.”
He looked miserable at the idea of not touching her. But he nodded and stood up, stepping back and giving her space.
Zara stood up and looked at the ground. She began to pace and wrung her hands in front of her as she began speaking “I was taken by the vampires when I was twelve. By that age, I had already developed the figure of a woman.” This was her way of saying she had big boobs, a fact that Wadim had obviously noticed. “And though most vampires don’t desire humans in any way other than food, there are always exceptions to the rule.”
Wadim was growling and when she looked up she saw that he had a death grip on one of the chairs. His eyes were glowing and his teeth had gotten very sharp.
In a way, it felt good to finally tell someone—anyone. But another part of Zara felt like running from the room. She had to keep going, to get it all out there. If she stopped, she might not start again, locking the pain deep inside where it had lived for so long. So she looked away and picked up where she’d left off. “Most of the vampires didn’t have just one or two people they fed on, most of them fed on any human available. I didn’t have such luck. When I was fourteen, a new male joined the coven in which I was enslaved. For whatever reason, he became infatuated with me. He fed only from me and he was extremely possessive. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch me. He even killed a few vampires who had ignored his order. He was old, powerful, and most of them wouldn’t challenge him. I lived in his room if you could call it that. It had a bed. There were no other furnishings. I was allowed to leave, occasionally. I think those were the times that I must have looked particularly terrible. He fed upon me hard, but I think he was worried that I would die if he took too much. When he fed on me—” She stopped, steadying her shaky voice and attempting to slow her racing heart.
“Go on,” Wadim rasped, as gently as he could, fighting back his wolf as hard as he could.
When she looked at him, she saw the wolf staring back at her out of his glowing eyes.
“I would never hurt you, please go on,” he forced out.
“Maybe we should talk about this later,” she said, perhaps realizing for the first time just how possessive the males were of their mates.
He shook his head. “Now. Just get it all out now.”
“When he fed on me, he did other things. He was into pain and he liked hurting me while he touched me, or while he—” She swallowed hard. “He, he, ra—” Zara heard something crash against the wall. She jerked around to see Wadim picking up another chair and throwing it into the wall on the opposite side of the room.
“You don’t have to say it,” Wadim growled.
She waited quietly until she heard him in her mind.
“Mate, touch.”
Her eyes widened.
“Your touch is the only thing that can control my wolf,” he explained through clenched teeth.
She hesitantly walked over to him. As soon as she was within arm’s length, he snatched her around the waist and crushed her to his body.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“Wadim, that’s not all of it.”
He froze but didn’t release her. “Tell me.”
“My body,” she paused and took a breath. “He liked torture. He liked knives. There’s not an inch of my skin that doesn’t bear a scar—a cut, a burn, a gouge. I’m not exaggerating.” Zara decided to utilize the bond and go for broke. She’d just show him so he’d fully understand why he would be disgusted with her. She pictured her body in her mind. She didn’t hide anything, though it humiliated her. She’d rather he know now than find out the first time they were intimate.
She showed him the cuts that covered her legs, front and back. Then she showed him her back where the vampire had, day after day, year after year, run his claws repeatedly over her skin, reopening scars and making fresh ones. They were big and rough and ugly. There were bite marks everywhere in between the cuts.
Her heart was beating painfully when she let her mind focus on her chest. Both breasts were covered in raised scars from cuts and bites. There wasn’t a smooth section on them. And the worst part, the part that sickened her— She squeezed her eyes closed as she remembered when Ander—that was the scum who’d ruined her—had taken away any ounce of dignity she might have had left.
“No man will ever want you now. Your body will forever belong to me,” he said as she cried not only from the pain but from the grief of losing a part of her. Ander had rendered her breasts useless by taking away the very thing that would have allowed her to one day nurse her children. He’d deformed her for the rest of her life. He had taken a part of her femininity, and with it any self-esteem she might have had. He’d stripped her of any beauty that she might have had. Ander had wanted to ruin her for anyone else and he’d succeeded.
She pushed the images away and laid her head against his chest, suddenly exhausted. It was then that she realized he was shaking. She pulled back as much as he would let her and looked up at his handsome face. His eyes were closed and tears were running down his cheeks. He looked angry but broken at the same time.
“Wadim,” she said gently.
“Don’t,” he growled.
She felt her heart break. He didn’t want her. He sounded disgusted.
“Don’t comfort me,” he began again, his voice a little softer. “I didn’t protect you. I wasn’t there. I didn’t even get the chance to kill him.”
Wadim was sick, but not because he was in any way disgusted by his mate. In his eyes, she was beautiful. She was perfect and she was his. He was sick because she’d gone through that ordeal. She’d been hurt at the hands of another male and he had been unable to save her.
“How could you think I would be disgusted?” he asked as he tried to gain control so that he could talk to her. She needed him to be there for her at that moment, and he would do just that. It was critical. She was vulnerable and he knew that she felt worthless. But what she saw as disgusting, he saw as only beautiful. “Zara, baby, you’re perfect. You’re beautiful. Every part of you. The fact that you had the strength to tell me, to show me your biggest pain and your biggest fears, is incredible. You are incredible.”
Tears streamed down her face as she stared up at him in disbelief. He fell to his knees and pressed his face into her tender stomach. His hand grasped her hips, though he tried to make sure he didn’t hurt her. “How can I make you believe me?” He was frantic to get her to understand how he felt about her.
“Give me time,” she said softly.
He pressed his face closer to her and then pushed the edge of her shirt up. She tensed, but she didn’t push him away or try to cover herself.
There were one-inch scars all over her stomach and bite mark scars accompanied nearly every cut. His wolf surged forward and took over before Wadim could gain control. His wolf was whining softly as he kissed each scar. He wanted to replace every painful cut and every painful bite with pleasure. He wanted her to feel attractive and desired. He wanted to kiss more of her, but with so much emotion and pain, he knew from this point forward they should take it slow. They’d dove right in, of that, there was no doubt. But now that she’d gotten her fears out in the open, he could take his time showing her every day how precious she was to him.
Wadim pulled her shirt down and stood up. He cupped her face in his hands and brushed away the tears on her cheeks. “My lovely, brave, Zara,” he breathed out in awe. “I’m going to kiss you.”
She nodded; her eyes—so big and expressive—stared back at him expectantly.
Wadim wasted no time. He leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips felt perfect against his. If he could, he would stand there and kiss her for the rest of their lives.
“Open your mouth,” he said, speaking through their bond,
She complied and gasped as his tongue swept past her lips and into her warmth. She tasted like heaven and felt just as good. She was trembling as he held her and he pulled her closer, wanting her to feel safe.
When he felt she’d been thoroughly ravished, he pulled back and looked down at her swollen lips. He smiled at her. “You’re too tempting.”
She laughed. “If you say so.”
“I do,” he said seriously. “You tempt me almost beyond what I can control.” He let her feel him through their bond and her breathing sped up. “However long it takes, Z, I will prove to you how much you mean to me and just how much both I and my wolf want you. And I mean want in a multiple of ways.” He winked at her and wanted to howl with victory at the smile she gave him.
“Okay, history boy.”
He groaned.
“What?” she asked, her expression blank.
“Did Peri call me that in front of you?”
She shook her head. “I just thought it fit.”
“Pick a different one, like stud muffin, or sexy beast.”
Zara laughed. It was the best sound ever. “Fine, I won’t call you history boy.”
He stepped closer and wrapped his arms snugly around her. Wadim leaned down until his lips were barely touching hers. “You could just call me yours.”
She licked her lips, driving him crazy. And then nodded “Okay, I’ll call you mine.”
His wolf growled triumphantly as he took her lips again. He wanted his scent all over her. He wanted everyone to know that she belonged to him.
Wadim knew it was a small victory and that they had a long road ahead of them. But he wouldn’t leave her side through any of it. He swore to the Great Luna that his mate would never, ever, wonder how he felt about her. She would never wonder if he desired her because he was happy to leave the bond wide open for her to feel all of it.
He ran his fingers through her hair as he claimed her lips as his again. She stole his breath when he suddenly felt her joy. She was pushing it through the bond to him. It was pure and honest and he’d been the one to cause it.
He pushed his own emotions to her and felt her body respond. Wadim swung her up into his arms and loved the little surprised squeal she emitted. He sat down in one of the chairs he hadn’t destroyed and put her in his lap. Then he turned her face to him again, continuing that kiss he never wanted to end. He needed to hold her, needed her to touch him, and needed to touch her in return. Everything else could wait. She would have his undivided attention. This time, and anytime she’d allow him, was for her.