Chapter 14: Eve

“Hi, Mother.” I wrapped my arms around myself, fighting the urge to cry as my mom’s voice came through the other end of the phone.
“Evelina,” she said. Her tone was stiff, but I didn’t care. She was the only ounce of home I had left.
“I thought you weren’t going to call.” I leaned up against the cool brick wall, turning away from the prying eyes of my fellow students, who were also taking advantage of their phone privileges. The academy’s phone bank was much like a prison; four pay phones lined the wall near the visitor’s entrance, and each one was heavily monitored by the staff. I’d been called in moments ago by Mr. Carter, letting me know that my mom was on the other line. I’d wanted to shout at her, to demand why it had taken so long for her to reach out, but as soon as I heard her voice, it didn’t matter. Only the severe ache for home mattered.
“How are you?” I asked, lowering my voice so others couldn’t eavesdrop. Students were so nosy here. Nothing was private. “You—you sound tired.”
“I am tired, Evelina,” Mother said, and I could almost see her rubbing a hand over her pale face on the other end of the line. “I’m tired of worrying about you and that place.”
“Then why am I here, Mother?”
“You know why you’re there, baby.” Mother’s voice caught like she might cry, but then she composed herself before she lost it. “You’re there because you’re sick.”
“You know that’s not true.” I took a deep breath, feeling tears press against the back of my eyeballs. God, I hated that she could still make me feel like this, like nothing. “You know what happened, and you know the real reason why I’m here. Why can’t you see that?”
Mother sighed on the other end of the line. I could hear her frustration with me growing, and a sharp pain traveled through me. Still, even now, it was my fault. Everything that had happened back home was my fault. It always had been, and that’s why I’d been sent here, to begin with.
“Can you come to visit?” I asked, changing the subject. “I’d love to see you.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Mother said softly. “But I don’t know how soon I can get out there, Evelina. The ferry schedule is random.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s like a prison out here,” I said with a sigh. I closed my eyes, trying to envision my Mother’s face. Did she really hate me to the point that avoiding me altogether was the easiest option?
A slight ruckus in the background on my Mother’s end caught her attention, and her tone dropped significantly when she spoke again.
“Your father’s home,” she said. “I have to go, Eve.”
“He’s not my father—”
“Goodbye, sweetheart.”
“Mom?” The silence on the other end was devastating, and I pressed the receiver against my ear for a moment longer, wishing she was still there, but only silence greeted me until the dial tone began to drone. With a sigh, I replaced the receiver and backed away, ignoring the curious stares of the students and staff around me.
“Everything okay, Eve?” Mr. Carter asked, poking his head out of his office. He must have been eavesdropping. Instead of answering him, I walked blindly back toward my room, tears pressing against my eyeballs, threatening to spill over in a mass of devastating fury. The only person I had in the outside world had walked away from me, and I was officially on my own. She wasn’t coming back; I knew that already. So what now? What was I supposed to do now?
As I turned the corner down the hallway, I almost smacked face-first into Beau, who was turning the corner at the same time. I stumbled, nearly falling, and his hand snapped out to steady me before I could. As I straightened up, he caught sight of my face, and his cocky smile fell.
“Eve,” he said. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I tried to pull out of his grip, but Beau held on, his hand tightening around my arm in a vicelike grip that was still more comforting than it was annoying.
“Don’t lie to me,” he said, hazel eyes scanning my face. His free hand reached up to wipe a tear from my face, and he took a step back, pulling me with him, away from the prying eyes of curious, passing students. “You had a phone call today,” he noted. “With who?”
“It doesn’t matter, Beau,” I said. “Please, just let me go.”
“Not until you tell me why you’re so upset.” His grip loosened just a little bit, but he didn’t release me. The truth was, I didn’t want him to let go. Because I didn’t trust myself to be alone right now. I just couldn’t tell him that. “Come with me,” he said, and the way his grip tightened again told me I didn’t really have a choice. “We’re going to my room.”
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. What could I do, try to beat him off me kicking and screaming? I didn’t care anymore, not really. And why should I? No one was there to save me.
I said nothing more as Beau led me down the hallway, further away from the regular dorms and towards the end of the building, where we stopped in front of a door that, strangely enough, was locked. Beau took a key out of his pocket and slipped it into the lock, opening it for us. Then he stepped aside to allow me access, following me in before closing the door behind us.
“How come you get a lock on yours, and the rest of us don’t?” I asked stupidly, and Beau grinned.
“Perks of—”
“Being a Rogue,” I finished. “Right.”
Still smirking, Beau reached out and locked the deadbolt. Then he unlocked it and did it again. Three more times. A sliver of anxiety crawled up my spine, but I pushed it down and focused on the room instead. This was the first time I’d been here. The other times, we’d all been in Keane’s room.
“For a while, I thought you all shared one room,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself as a chill took hold of me. Beau’s dorm was three times the size that mine and Kasey’s was, but that didn’t surprise me because Keane’s had been too. When people called these guys royalty here, they weren’t kidding.
“We have our own spaces,” said Beau, crossing the floor towards the four-canopy bed. He sat down on the edge of it and kicked off his sneakers before running a hand through his short, ebony hair. It was such a simple, unconscious move, and yet a spark of heat lit between my thighs as I took him in, admiring the way his dark skin almost seemed to glow in the subtle light of the lamp next to his bed. There were no windows in this room, but the dark, gloomy atmosphere seemed to suit him just fine. As I looked around, taking in the posters of rock bands and vintage horror movies, I felt like this was the first time I was truly seeing a part of Beau I could never have guessed existed. His human side.
“Horror movie buff?” I asked, forcing my feet forward to admire the posters. “I am, too.’
Beau smiled a genuine smile that didn’t seem so damn sinister. I loved that smile. And I hated myself for it. “Yeah,” he said. “Before my diagnosis, my mom and I used to rent a couple every weekend and watch them together. Those were some of the best days of my life.”
I looked at him, shocked to hear that Beau Harrison, once upon a time, had been more than one of Keane’s cronies. He’d been a child. A son. A human with feelings and family.
When I didn’t answer immediately, Beau’s eyebrows perked up as he watched me admire the posters. “Nothing to say to that?” he asked, and I shrugged my shoulders before turning to face him.
“It’s just hard to believe that once upon a time, you might have had a functioning heart,” I said, and Beau chuckled.
“I know. Crazy, right?”
“So what happened with that?” I asked. “Did your mom decide you were too much trouble, too, and ship you off to live here?”
I was surprised when Beau looked away from me and down at his hands, twisting his fingers almost anxiously.
“My mom was murdered,” he said, and I noticed he couldn’t meet my eyes this time. I couldn’t blame him. This news came as a shock to me, too, and a chill traveled through my body as I stopped to face him, freezing on the spot.
“I—I’m sorry,” I said meekly. “What happened?”
Beau shrugged and sighed, leaning back to support himself on the bed. “We lived in the shitty part of the city. Born into poverty. Some crack addict asshole tried to rob her one night while we were at the grocery store. When she resisted, he shot her.” Beau took a deep breath, and I was set on edge to hear the crack in his voice. My heart hammered against my chest, and my palms went sweaty as nausea rolled in my stomach. Who knew that a guy like Beau could have a past even more tragic than mine? The Rogues had come off as so uncaring, so cold. Like they chose to be the way they were because they could. It seemed they weren’t all they appeared to be on the outside.
“Beau,” I said softly, moving across the floor towards him. I don’t know what I expected to do, but I couldn’t let him sit by himself and suffer in the memories. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks,” he said, not looking at me. His foot was tapping against the floor anxiously, fingers still twisting. “I was twelve. I watched it happen.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah. So, they threw me into foster care, where I bounced around until I was seventeen. At that point, my OCD diagnosis got so bad that no foster family could deal with me. So the state shipped me off to live here. Indefinitely”
“Jesus.” Without thinking twice about it, I sat down next to him on the edge of the bed, careful not to sit too close to avoid setting him off. Beau didn’t move away, but he didn’t reach for me, either, and for that, I was relieved. There was no need for him to assert his dominance at that moment, no need for the asshole to come out and make me feel like a small little person. Beau was just—Beau.
“I’ve been here six years now,” Beau continued, foot still tapping nervously. He chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head. “I didn’t think I’d survive here, to be honest. I was an outcast, a nobody. It was hard to watch other people be admitted just to be released a year or two later. I—I didn’t think I’d ever be able to leave. I was trapped.” He took a deep breath and looked away from his hands at a poster on the wall. “Keane took me in within the week,” he continued. “He was the only reason I survived here. Without him, I probably would have died.”
“Why?”
“Between the uprising of suicides here and the other dangerous patients, survival is iffy,” he said honestly. “You see me, Keane, and Teague as the most dangerous people here, but that’s not always accurate. Many people have come through this facility, and most of them don’t make it out. That’s the truth.”
Another chill slivered up my spine, and I looked away from Beau’s handsome face, hating the pain that was suddenly there. I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to see the smile again. But we were treading on dangerous territory, and I wasn’t sure how to pull him to safety without triggering the dark side I’d come to know all too well.
“I know you think we’re mean,” Beau continued, catching me off guard. “And we can be, yes. But we have to be in order to survive.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “We’re only trying to protect you, Evelina. You can’t trust everyone you meet here, okay, no matter how innocent they seem.”
I chuckled humorlessly. “No one has treated me like you three have,” I said stubbornly. “So your point thus far is moot. The only thing I have to fear here are the three of you.”
Beau looked at me, his eyes narrowing, but he said nothing to this for a long time. His leg was still vibrating, and without considering my actions, I reached one hand out and rested it on his thigh. Beau flinched as though I’d hit him, but he didn’t pull away. Slowly, the tapping ceased. He looked down at my hand, and a second later, his own fingers covered my own.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. “And I’m sorry that you feel like we’ve hurt you. It’s—it’s just the way we are.”
I shook my head as Beau’s fingers tightened around mine. “It doesn’t have to be that way,” I breathed, scooting a few inches closer to him. He smelled so good, like aftershave and fresh soap, and the pressure between my thighs intensified. I felt drawn to him like even if I wanted to leave, I couldn’t. “You can be anybody you want, Beau. You don’t have to act a certain way because Keane wants you to.”
“It has nothing to do with Keane,” Beau insisted with a small, frustrated sigh. “It’s just our dynamic, Eve. It’s who we are. It’s who we’ve learned to be.”
I met Beau’s eyes, admiring the soft shade of brown speckled with flecks of gold. My heart pounded in my ears as Beau leaned toward me, his hand tightening on mine, holding me captive on the bed. I didn’t fight him because suddenly, and for the first time since I’d met him, I wanted this. I was ready for it.
Beau’s lips met mine, gentle at first and then with a more desperate desire that set my lips on fire. My body moved automatically towards his as Beau’s tongue slipped between my lips, exploring my mouth, and the hand that had been holding mine slowly snaked up my leg towards the heat between my thighs. A small moan that I couldn’t hold back escaped my lips as my body responded to his in an overwhelming way. Heat slithered up my skin, setting me on fire, and my hips moved automatically towards Beau’s hand as it slipped between my legs, resting teasingly against the damp slit that ached for his touch.
A second later, Beau’s other hand tangled in my hair, tightening his fingers around my locks, and I moaned as a jolt of painful pleasure zipped through me as he yanked my head back, exposing my neck.
“You like it rough, don’t you?” he whispered, pulling back slightly to smirk at me. I grit my teeth as his hand abandoned the inside of my thigh, aching for him in a way that was almost painful. I momentarily hated myself for falling victim to him, but not enough to leave or to pull away. I said nothing to this as Beau leaned forward and kissed my neck, nibbling lightly before biting hard, making me yelp. I pulled back, my hands dropping from his body as a moment of clarity slapped me in the face.
“Stop,” I said, pulling away from him. “I can’t do this.” Fighting my body’s overwhelming response to stay, I stood from the bed and backed up, sucking in small gasps of air to compose myself. Heat lingered on my skin, betraying me, and the moisture between my legs was both humiliating and expected. I was glad he couldn't see exactly what he'd just done to me.
"What's wrong?" he asked, and I shook my head, backing towards the door.
"I'm not going to do this with you,” I said. “It was a mistake coming here.”
I wasn’t sure I believed that, not really, but logic was fighting through. These men had been nothing but cruel to me since my arrival, and I’d almost just fucked one of them. Common sense wasn’t always my forte, as my mother would say, but I tried to convince myself that I had more self-respect than that.
Besides, even more than the self-respecting logic, there was something—or someone—I knew neither of us was considering.
Keane.
And Teague.
“I have to go,” I said, reaching for the door handle. He stood from the bed, and when I noticed his hard cock straining against the inseam of his jeans, I almost changed my mind and stayed. Just seeing him so hot for me shot another thrill of anticipation through my body. But I couldn’t stay. Not this time, anyway.
“Tell me you didn’t like it,” he said, and I was relieved that he didn’t come after me because I truly didn’t know how much longer I could have resisted him.
I sighed, my fingers unlocking the deadbolt on the door, eyes lingering briefly on his crotch before traveling up to meet his smirk. “Goodnight, Beau.”
“Goodnight, Evelina,” he said. “I hope you have sweet, sweet dreams.”
I walked alone back to my dorm room, relieved to find Kasey already there, spread out on her bed with an open book in her hands. She smiled as I came in, sitting up to greet me. When she noticed the flush of my skin and the craziness of my hair, a flicker of concern crossed her features.
“Are you okay?” she asked, watching as I closed the door behind me and collapsed onto my own bed. “You look—disheveled? Is that the right word for it?”
I grabbed my pillow and slapped it over my face, then screamed into it, feeling mildly better before Kasey reached over and plucked it from me, tossing it away.
“Explain,” she said. “What happened?”
I shook my head and took a deep breath, lacing my hands over my stomach as I stared at the ceiling.
“Beau took me back to his room,” I told her. “And—we kissed.”
A gasp escaped Kasey’s lips, and her eyes widened into saucers. “You kissed Beau?” she confirmed. “Like, actually kissed him?”
I nodded, squeezing my thighs together as that devastating sensation of wanting to be fucked stilly took hold of me again.
“I’m confused,” Kasey said. “I thought you hated them.”
“I do hate them,” I insisted, sitting up to face her. “I don’t know what happened. One minute we were talking about his mom, and the next minute he had his tongue down my throat.”
“Did he force it on you?” Kasey asked, looking wary, and I quickly shook my head.
“Not at all. I touched him first.”
“Holy shit, Eve.”
“I know.”
Kasey frowned, eyebrows knitting together in concern. “Does—does Keane know?” she asked, and a small ball of concern rolled in my stomach. I hadn’t been the only one concerned about Keane’s reaction, apparently.
“No,” I said softly, and Kasey’s eyes got even bigger, if that was possible.
“Eve—”
“I know,” I said, cutting her off. “That’s—that’s part of the reason I stopped it. We just kissed, that’s all. Nothing else happened.”
Kasey folded her arms across her chest as she stared at me, biting her lip warily. “So,” she said finally, a small smile playing on her lips. “Was it good?”
I chuckled, caught off guard, and then shrugged. “My body says it was,” I told her honestly, and Kasey giggled, her own skin flushing bright red.
“Somehow, those guys have a way of getting under people’s skin,” she said. “I guess it was just a matter of time. Women love to hate them.”
I sighed, rolling a kink out of my neck. “Does this make me a whore?” I asked. “A whore with zero self-respect?”
Kasey shook her head, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t think so,” she said with a shrug. “Beau is hot. They all are. It’s not like you jumped into bed with him your first night here. I’ve heard they can be rather—seductive.” She paused, chewing her lip again. “Are you going to tell Keane?” she asked. “Because if you don’t, Beau probably will.”
“Yeah, well, I’m my own person,” I insisted, pushing down the nervousness that tickled my insides obnoxiously. “I can kiss who I want and not kiss who I don’t want.”
Kasey nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. “I guess. But you know it doesn’t really work like that, Eve. The Rogues are different. Finicky, you could say. Kane might lose his shit.”
“Then let him.” I crossed my arms defiantly, scowling into the void. “I concluded tonight that these assholes are nothing but mere mortal humans. They’re not the monsters everyone wants to make them out to be. Maybe, just maybe, they need a taste of their own medicine.”
Kasey’s eyebrows shot up again, intrigued.
“And you’re the one who’s going to give it to them?” she asked, and I smiled, feeling confident for the first time since my arrival at Blackwood. I pushed my shoulders back and shrugged.
“If not me, then who?”