Chapter 15: Keane

I could sense something was off the moment Beau walked through the door. He had a confidence about him, a swagger if you will. Teague, who had been rolling us a joint in the corner of the room, glanced up as I did, his brow furrowing.
“Where have you been?” he asked, and Beau shrugged nonchalantly, closing my bedroom door behind him.
“Around,” he said. “Are you going to share that?”
I watched my friend drop down into his usual empty chair next to Teague, kicking his legs out and crossing them at the ankles.
“You look smug,” I noted. “Why?”
“Can’t a guy have some confidence, Keane?” Beau asked, leveling with my gaze. “Or is that only reserved for you?”
“Burn,” Teague cracked, lighting up the joint and taking a long hit. He handed it to Beau, who did the same.
“Fuck you,” I told them both, rising from my chair to cross the room towards the window, looking out into the courtyard. Dusk was settling over the island, and an eerie fog swirled around the grass almost hauntingly. I loved it.
“We’re you with Eve?” Teague asked Beau, surprising me. I turned to look at them, tilting my head to watch Beau’s reaction. My friend scoffed, shrugging one shoulder, and that was all the answer I needed.
“Why the fuck were you with Eve?” I demanded, abandoning my place by the window to approach my friend. I stopped halfway across the room as curious rage boiled in the pit of my stomach. I took a breath, trying to push it down before I flew off the handle completely.
“I didn’t say I was,” said Beau, shooting a snarl at Teague, who shrugged innocently.
“Just saying,” he said with a one-shoulder shrug. “Why else would you look so fucking smug?”
Beau looked at me, and I was pleased to see a hint of trepidation in his eyes.
“You were with her,” I confirmed. When he didn’t deny this, the small bubble of rage grew, and I had to turn away from him for a moment to compose myself.
“It was nothing,” he said after a moment, looking far less smug than he had only moments ago. “She was upset, and I comforted her. That’s it.”
“Upset about what?”
“I don’t really know, man. She didn’t tell me. She’d been on the phone with someone. That’s all I know.”
“Who?”
Beau shrugged. “She wouldn’t tell me.”
“So, how did you wind up comforting her?”
Beau cleared his throat as I stared him down, shaking his head. “We got to talking, Keane. That’s it. That’s all she wrote.”
“Did you fuck her?” I demanded, blood roaring in my ears. The familiar, unyielding rage rose in my throat like bile, threatening to spill over, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Teague rise from his chair and step towards me, ready to step in if I lost my shit. Beau, too, stood from his seat, cocking his head at me almost angrily.
“No, Keane, I didn’t fuck her,” he said, boldly holding my gaze. “But we kissed.”
“You kissed?”
“Yes. And it was fucking great.”
“C’mon, man,” Teague warned Beau, his eyes still on me. “Do you really want to pick a fight?”
“Pick one?” I asked before Beau could speak. “We’re already there.”
“Chill out, man.” Beau put his hands in the air as if to surrender, but a low growl rose from the depths of my throat. “The rule was no fucking unless we all had her. And we didn’t fuck.”
Just hearing the words leave my friend’s mouth invoked a whole new fury in me, and my vision went red as I crossed the room without realizing it, wrapping one hand around Beau’s throat with a roar that seemed to shake the room. I slammed him against the closest wall, ignoring Teague’s hands on my shoulders as my fingers tightened around Beau’s throat.
“We had a deal,” I snarled, hardly realizing that Beau’s toes were barely touching the ground as I pressed him against the far wall with unbridled, wild fury. “We had a fucking deal, brother, and you broke it.”
“Back off, man,” Teague pleaded, one hand tugging my shoulder. “Don’t let the monster inside win. We’re brothers. She’s just a girl. Don’t forget that.”
Something about the way he said it so nonchalantly made me whirl on him, dropping Beau, who collapsed to the ground holding his throat and glaring at me. I reeled my arm back without even realizing what I was doing and shot it forward, meeting Teague’s face with an almighty crack that sent him sprawling backward onto the floor. Blood spurted from his nose, and he yelped in pain. As I whirled back around to go after Beau again, I was caught off guard to find him already on his feet. He tackled me before I could react, slamming me back first onto the bed as he pinned me down, forcing a knee into the center of my chest for leverage.
“Get control of yourself!” he shouted, spit flying. “We’re not the enemy, Keane. Fight it!”
Slowly, the pain in my chest began to distract me from the anger in my head. Through the red, fuzzy rage, I saw my best friend, Beau, hovering over me, talking me down. Pulling himself off the floor, Teague joined him, pinning my other arm despite the blood that slowly dripped down his face.
“Breathe,” he insisted. “Take some breaths, you mother fucker.”
Gradually, the blind rage began to simmer away, and my friend’s faces came back into focus. The adrenaline that had been coursing through my body slowly subsided, and a moment later, Beau and Teague released me, getting to their feet to give me room, taking a step back. I sat up on the bed, dizzy and delirious and yet somehow still mildly humiliated. I saw my friend’s bloody face and winced.
“I—I’m sorry, man,” I said softly. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” Teague said, gingerly touching his nose. “I think you broke it. Again.”
“You look fine,” Beau said, squinting at Teague. “In fact, you look better than usual.”
Teague flipped him the bird before placing his fingers on each side of his nose. After two deep breaths, he jerked it back into place with a nauseating crack.
“Fuck,” he moaned, and Beau nodded in agreement.
“Fuck is right. It’s been a minute since we’ve gone that far.”
“It was me,” I admitted, shakily standing from the bed. “It was me who went too far. I’m sorry.”
“It’s all good, man,” Teague said, going to the bathroom for a shred of toilet paper to stick up his nose. “We know you didn’t mean it.”
He was right. I hadn’t meant it. Sometimes, the monster inside of me reacted, and I didn’t get a say either way. It was part of my illness. We all had it, but mine was more easily provoked.
It didn’t stop me from feeling like shit. I had no friends, no family. These motherfuckers were it. I had to stop going off on them over some girl.
Not some girl, the little voice in my head said. The girl.
“I think we need to have a talk with Eve,” Teague said, tilting his head back to try and control the bleeding. “What do you guys think?”
“I agree,” I said softly, and Beau nodded his head. “But this time, my brothers, I think it’s going to be more than just a talk.”