Chapter 21: Eve

“How are you doing, Eve?” John Carter was wearing reading glasses today, looking down his nose at me as he asked the question that we both already knew the answer to.
“I’m doing great,” I said sarcastically, hoping he’d catch the hint. “Wouldn’t you be?”
Mr. Carter smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I imagine that finding your friend on the bathroom floor was very traumatic for you, no?” he asked, and it was such a silly question that I wanted to ball up my fists and punch him in the nose.
“I’ve seen trauma before,” I said instead. “But yeah, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I walked into the bathroom this morning.”
“Mmmm.” Mr. Carter looked briefly away from me and down at the notepad in his lap, nodding his head. I twisted my fingers in my lap, looking around at the motivational posters on the wall. The more I saw them, the less I liked them. “Tell me,” he continued, demanding my attention. “An employee of mind reported that they saw you sneaking back into your dorm room early this morning,” he said, and I tensed automatically, waiting for the inevitable twenty questions. Instead of answering right away, I shrugged, my eyes wavering down to my hands to focus on something, anything, that wasn’t Mr. Carter. When I didn’t answer, he continued, prodding me like I was some sort of criminal. “Is that true?” he asked. “Were you not in your room last night?”
I shrugged, trying to buy time, but it didn’t really matter, and I knew it. I’m sure he knew what went on around here. Who didn’t?
“What does it matter?” I asked, and Mr. Carter smiled. When he smiled, it was no longer comforting as it once had been. It seemed condescending now. I was no longer a student or an intake. I felt like a fucking criminal.
“It matters very much,” he said softly. “Because our patient’s safety is this academy’s main priority.”
“Patient?” I repeated. “A patient is not a student, Mr. Carter, and isn’t that what Blackwood claims to be? An academy for troubled adults?”
Another smile. This one was even less comforting than the last.
“Were you with Keane Hearne?” he asked abruptly, and I met his gaze with surprise.
“What makes you think that?”
“I have eyes everywhere in this academy, Ms. Bloom,” he said confidently. “I know what happens around here.”
“Then why are you asking if you already know the answer?” I asked. For a moment, I thought Mr. Carter might laugh, but he shook his head instead, eyes narrowing in my direction.
“I have concerns,” he said steadily, and suddenly, I hated him. I hated Mr. Carter, I hated this place, and I hated how minuscule I suddenly felt.
“I’m an adult,” I told him. “I can be with whoever, whenever I want.”
“At home, maybe,” Mr. Carter said agreeably, and once again, I wanted to punch him in his face. “But here, in my academy, we have rules.”
“Are you certain?” I asked. “Because the way this place is run, I have my doubts.” I folded my arms over my chest and leaned back in the chair, glaring at him. “Where were the rules the night I arrived?” I demanded. “Initiation, when the Rogues chased me down and forced me to drink their blood? Where were the rules when Kasey sliced herself open in our bathroom? Where were your staff, Mr. Carter? And why are you suddenly concerned about my well-being now?”
“I’ve been concerned the moment you walked through these doors,” he said patiently. “Just as I am with every intake that comes through here.” When I didn’t bother to respond to this, he continued. “I noticed you spoke to your mother on the phone,” he said, glancing back down at his notebook. “How did that go?”
“How do you think it went?” I asked. “Like shit.”
“Why is that? Do you blame your mother for what happened?”
“For what happened?” I repeated. “Like being sent here? Yeah, in fact, I do blame her. She could have fought my stepdad on sending me.”
“Do you think it would have made a difference had she spoken up?” Mr. Carter asked, and I felt uncomfortable suddenly like he was prying into secrets I didn’t even know I had.
“I guess we’ll never know,” I said. “Because she didn’t speak up. She didn’t even fight him.”
“So you believe you don’t belong here?” he asked, and I shook my head vehemently.
“We’ve been through this,” I insisted. “I don’t belong here. My asshole stepfather got sick of me and shipped me off to this academy. He resents me, that’s all. And what he says goes.”
“Why do you think he made the decision to send you here, Eve?”
“Because he’s an asshole.” I shrugged, unable to hold his gaze as I made it a point to look around the room. “He didn’t like me being in the way of his precious life, so this was the easiest way to get rid of me.”
“You believe that entirely?”
I looked at Carter, narrowing my eyes. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
He didn’t respond to this, merely glanced down at his pad again and scribbled a note I couldn’t read. My hands curled into fists as I squirmed in my chair, uncomfortable suddenly.
“Can I go now?” I demanded, expecting him to put up a fight. I was surprised when he nodded, not bothering to look up at me.
“You’re free to go,” he said. “Feel free to drop by the medical wing to see Miss Johnson. I don’t know if she’s awake yet, but I imagine she’d enjoy your presence.”
Without another word, I stood and left the office, confusion tugging at my nerves. What a strange meeting that had been. Not like this entire place wasn’t strange, of course, but it seemed to get more and more strange by the day. I couldn’t figure out John Carter’s intentions, and that seemed to be more disconcerting than anything else. What did he want from me? What was he trying to prove? And above all, why didn’t anyone believe that I had done nothing wrong and didn’t belong in this god-forsaken place?
I found the hospital wing quickly, greeting a nice nurse who led me back into the large room set up with hospital beds. They were all empty except for Kasey’s, who lay on the white sheet covered by a single blanket. She was awake, staring at the ceiling with an expression I couldn’t read.
“Kasey?” I said, my voice catching as I approached her bed. I reached for my friend’s hand and squeezed it, ignoring how cold and clammy it felt beneath my own. Kasey turned her head and smiled, but her eyes were tired, and dark circles beneath her lids replaced her usual peppy expression. “You’re awake,” I whispered, and she nodded, squeezing my hand weakly with her own.
“I’m glad you came to see me,” she said, her voice hoarse and tired. “I heard you were the one who found me.”
“What could I have done?” I asked, and Kasey’s smile wavered as she slowly shook her head.
“This has nothing to do with you,” she promised. “I just—my emotions got the best of me, Eve. I was feeling sad and overwhelmed, and I turned to the only thing I knew to do.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked away, out the window, at the tiny rays of sun shining in. When I looked back at Kasey, a single tear slipped down her cheek. I squeezed her hand.
“I’m here now,” I told her. “So the next time you feel the need to numb your pain with self-harm, find me instead. Please. I—I can’t lose you, Kase. I don’t know how long I’m going to be stuck in this place, but I do know that I can’t do this without you.”
Kasey sighed, adjusting on the bed. It was difficult for me not to stare at her bandaged arms, but she didn’t seem to notice or mind. “You’re the first person in a long time who has given a shit,” she said earnestly. “Thank you for that.”
“Don’t think I’m messing with you, either,” I insisted, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “You’re my rock in here. Don’t you forget it. I want to be there for you, okay? So let me.”
Kasey smiled again, then changed the subject. “Enough about me,” she insisted. “What happened with the Rogues last night? Were you with them?” She perked up considerably when I blushed, looking away from her momentarily. “Come on,” she pushed. “I’m stuck in this dingy hospital bed. The least you can do is give me the deets.”
“All right.” I pushed a breath of air between my teeth and looked away from her, reimagining the night in my head. Even just thinking about it made my body respond in ways that were so foreign to me, and I tried not to show my excitement. “I don’t really know how to explain it,” I admitted. “We were all in the cemetery, you know, and I guess I just felt—ready.”
“For them?” Kasey asked, and I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself unconsciously.
“I felt sassy,” I said with a giggle. “It kind of caught them off guard, I think, to have a taste of their own medicine. All this time I’d been refusing their advances until suddenly I didn’t.”
“So what did this little, erm, meeting entail?” Kasey asked, eyes sparkling with curiosity. Telling anyone else this story would have humiliated me, but with Kasey, I felt at ease. I had to tell someone; I couldn’t keep it locked in.
“Let’s just say I had a taste of them,” I said, pulling my lip between my teeth to chew on it. “Of Keane and Teague, anyway.”
“Oh my God, Eve,” Kasey laughed. It was good to see a genuine smile on her tired face. “Was it good?”
“Yeah, actually, it was. But that’s as far as it went. We didn’t, like, fuck or anything.”
“Well, what happened after that?”
“I fell asleep in Keane’s room,” I said. “After they kind of had their way with me in the bathtub.”
Kasey gasped, eyes widening. “Was it good?”
“Keane got me off,” I said, and if possible, my face felt like it was even more on fire. “It was actually my first orgasm.”
“Damn, girl.” Kasey shook her head, her own cheeks flushed with excitement. “Color me jealous. Who knew that after your love-hate relationship with them, it would turn out like that?”
I sighed, dropping my hands into my lap. “I still don’t know if I can trust them,” I admitted. “They were really shitty to me, Kasey. And then, what, I sucked dick and now suddenly they’re angels? It’s too easy. I don’t believe it. I’m just waiting for them, Keane especially, to turn again.”
Kasey sighed and nodded. “I get it, girl. I really do. The Rogues are—well, they’re something else. But let me ask you a question.”
“What?”
“Even after everything they put you through—do they make you feel safe?”
I swallowed and looked away from her, feeling a lump rise in the depths of my throat. “Yes,” I whispered. “More than anyone else ever has.”