Chapter 18: Eve

My head felt fuzzy with euphoria as Beau and Teague finished washing my hair and body before rinsing me off and drying me. I let them do it without a fight, mostly because, for the first time in my life, I felt doted on. And truth be told, I loved it. The sensation of their fingers on my skin made me tremble in the best of ways, so I succumbed to them, feeling like I was in a dream, some alternate reality. No one in my life had ever made me feel like they had made me feel, especially not three of them at a time, and my eyelids were heavy as Teague carried me from the bathtub and to Keane’s bed.
“Tired, baby?” Teague asked softly as he lowered me onto the mattress, his fingers playing with my damp hair as my muscles sunk into the mattress. I nodded, catching Teague’s hand in mine to squeeze it. I didn’t know what to say; I had no words. So all I could do was wrap my hand around his fingers and squeeze a thank you before my eyes fluttered to Beau, a smile curling on my lips.
“Thank you,” I whispered to them as exhaustion overcame me. I felt like I’d run a marathon, not just physically but emotionally as well. “Thank you for not hurting me.”
“We could never hurt you,” said Beau, running the back of his thumb up and down my naked arm. I had no clothes, but it didn’t even matter as my body molded to Keane’s bed. “We told you that, Eve.”
I said nothing to this as Beau pulled the comforter up to my chin, tucking me in like a child.
Get some rest, sweetheart,” he murmured in my ear. “We’ll be around if you need us.”
“Where are you going?” I asked, stifling a yawn that overcame me, taking me over. “Where is Keane?”
He had vanished somewhere after making me come, but I didn’t know where. I didn’t have the energy to get up and find out, either. My body and mind were quiet, floating on a cloud like a drug-addled high that I didn’t want to kick.
“You don’t need to worry about that,” said Teague, and he leaned down to press his lips against my forehead. “Just know that we’re never far, okay?”
I nodded and began to close my eyes as the bed overtook me, beckoning me in, uncaring about anything else at that moment. I was sore in all the right places, and as my eyes fluttered briefly, watching Teague and Beau back out of the room, leaving me in quiet peace, I allowed sleep to take me, pulling me into a blissfully perfect dreamland that I never wanted to wake from.

I didn’t know how long I’d slept, but when I opened my eyes next, turning my head automatically towards the bit of light coming through the closest window, pattering rain and flashes of lightning greeted me. I sat up quickly, my head still fuzzy and halfway between a dream and reality, as the events of the night came back to me like a slap in the face.
I was still in Keane’s bed. Naked but unharmed. I’d forgotten for a moment that I’d fallen asleep there. The bedroom was empty, and I pulled the top sheet up over my chest to cover myself in case of a surprise, looking around, expecting to see one of the Rogues pop out from the corner, ready to torture me in whatever way they saw fit for the day.
Though the torture they’d inflicted on me yesterday hadn’t exactly been unwelcome, and as my mind tried to justify their actions, my body reminded me how good it had been. Not just the bath and letting Keane finger-fuck me until I’d come, but before that, too. Pleasing him. Pleasing them.
I could still taste Keane and Teague on my tongue, and not only did I not mind, but I liked it.
Who the hell was I?
Unsure of what else to do, I threw the covers off my naked body and slid out of Keane’s bed, pleasantly sore but wondering at the same time what kind of person that made me. Why had I bowed to them so easily? Days ago, I’d fought them tooth and nail; hated them, even. And now, after a single night of sexual favors, I felt blissfully happy, like I’d wanted it the entire time.
Then again, maybe I had. I just could never admit it to myself.
I looked around the room, spotting a pile of the clothes I’d had on yesterday folded neatly on a chair. I crossed the floor and put them on quickly, hoping to cover myself before company appeared. I didn’t know where the boys were or if they’d be back soon. As far as I knew, they’d been gone all night since Teague and Beau had put me to bed, but I didn’t plan on sticking around to find out. While I’d enjoyed my time with them, the sane part of me still felt a little bit wary. Had my night been a mistake? Had they taken advantage of me?
No, they hadn’t. I could give them that much. Because while I’d hesitated for a moment, I’d wanted it just as bad. There was no denying that. And I had to keep reminding myself of that over and over while I pulled on my jacket and shoes and slipped out of Keane’s room, tip-toeing down the hallways towards my dorm before somebody saw me sneaking around and put me into detention or something. I hoped Kasey was still asleep; maybe I could slip back into my own bed before she woke, claiming that I’d had a late-night study session and not that I’d been with three men, sucking cock and getting fucked in the bubble bath.
I stopped in front of our dorm, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one was around to catch me. Not like anyone would care. At Blackwood, there seemed to be no rythme or reason. We were just—here. Doing our own thing.
That’s how I liked it.
I pushed the door open and stepped in, my eyes fluttering to Kasey’s bed, which, oddly, was empty.
“Kasey?” I hissed, glancing towards the bathroom for my friend. If she was awake, there was no avoiding the awkward conversation now. Not that I was sure I wanted to; I had to tell someone of my night, and I knew she wouldn’t judge me. She was my only real friend here, someone closer to me than I’d ever had on the outside.
“Kase?” I said again, knocking lightly on the closed bathroom door. There was no answer from the other side, and I frowned. “Are you in there?”
Only silence greeted me, and with this silence came an eerie, daunting feeling that consumed me. Something was wrong.
Without waiting for an answer, I pushed open our bathroom door and poked my head in, my eyes landing automatically on my best friend’s still body in the middle of the bathroom floor.
“Kasey,” I cried, dropping to my knees next to my friend. “Jesus Christ, what did you do?”
My best friend lay unconscious on the ground, blood seeping from the open wounds up and down her arms and wrists. Her skin was pale and clammy, her eyelids fluttering but refusing to open. I jumped to my feet and yanked our door open again, screaming out into the hallway.
“Help me!” My voice sounded hoarse, like it didn’t even belong to me. “Somebody help us!”
A nurse down the hallway heard my yells and started in our direction. I whirled around, gasping for air as I raced back to Kasey, heart pounding in my chest. Blood roared in my ears as I fell next to my friend again, hands trembling as I reached for her neck, feeling for a pulse. I wasn’t a doctor, but I could feel it there, weak and thready. But she was alive, for now.
“What were you thinking?” I sobbed as the nurse and two guards rushed into our room, pushing me aside to tend to my friend. I was rattled, as this had been unexpected, and guilt tugged at me. Why had Kasey done this? Was the fact that I’d spent the night away from her the reason she’d done this?
“Eve,” Mr. Carter said, hurrying into the bathroom. He gently pushed me aside to tend to Kasey, his calm demeanor washing over me. “Please leave. We need to take care of your roommate.”
“Will she be okay?” I asked weakly, but nobody answered as I slowly backed out of the bathroom, shaking, feeling sick to my stomach like I might just vomit all over my nicely made bed. I hit the wall behind me and stopped walking, tears streaming down my face, and just as my legs were about to give out from under me, Keane appeared magically in the doorway, his eyes on me.
“What’s going on?” he demanded, but I couldn’t answer as my knees finally gave out, and I collapsed. He was by my side in an instant, taking me into his arms and holding me against him.
“Mr. Hearne,” Carter called from the bathroom. “Please, take her away.”
He didn’t have to be asked twice. Without another word, Keane scooped me up in his arms as though I was nothing more than a sack of potatoes. Tears streamed down my face and soaked his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care as he carried me out of the room and down the hallway, past the curious stares of onlookers wondering what in the hell was going on.
“It’s okay, baby,” he whispered as we walked. “She’ll be alright.”
I wasn’t entirely convinced. For all I knew, Kasey was already dead, but there was nothing I could do but wait and find out as I buried my face in Keane’s shirt, sobbing, breathless, and shaking.
“What happened?” Beau’s voice demanded as we arrived at Keane’s dorm. He kicked open his door, and Beau shut it behind us, worry etching his features. “What’s wrong with her?”
“It’s Kasey,” Keane said, lowering me onto his bed. He stood up and turned to speak to Beau, lowering his voice. I couldn’t hear what he was saying between sobs, but Beau watched me as Keane spoke, his eyes softening, concern fluttering over his face. He shook his head and sat down next to me on the bed, taking my hand in his.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“She’s my friend,” I said with a sniffle, uncaring that I probably looked like some sort of fucking swamp monster. “Why did she hurt herself? Is it because of me? Is it because I wasn’t there last night?”
Keane shook his head and joined Beau on the bed. Now, I was safely caught between the two of them, and slowly my nerves began to settle.
“Your friend has a history of self-harm,” Keane said gently. “It’s one of the reasons she’s here, Evelina. It has nothing to do with you.”
“But I wasn’t there.” Sniffing, I shook my head, running the back of my hand over my eyes. “If I was there last night where I should have been, this wouldn’t have happened. But I wasn’t. I was—I was with you.”
“It would have happened anyway,” Beau said. “We can promise you that, sweetheart. What Kasey did is no fault of yours. It’s just a part of her illness, okay?”
I shook my head and looked away from them, trying to catch my breath. All I could keep thinking of was Kasey’s pale, bloodless body. Her shallow breathing and waxy skin. How long had she laid there bleeding out on the bathroom floor before I’d found her? Was I too late? What kind of friend was I to let that happen?
“I should have been there,” I said again. I took a deep breath, trying to pull myself together. “I could have stopped it. I could have found her earlier.”
Keane leaned towards me then, one hand reaching up to wipe away a tear from my raw and reddened cheeks. He shook his head and smiled sadly before resting his lips against my forehead and taking my hands in his.
“You’re a good friend,” he said softly. “You’ll be the reason she survives this.”
I swallowed and nodded, hoping they were right. Without Kasey, I had no support in this place, and I still wasn’t sure how much I trusted the Rogues. One night of ecstasy and kindness really didn’t change anything; Keane and the boys had proved to me more than once that they could turn on a dime, and I was tired of being the one in their path when they decided to be assholes again. Would this really change anything? What did I owe them now that I’d succumbed to their charms? Keane frequently spoke of owning me—what exactly did that entail, and would I be okay with it?
A sick feeling rose in the pit of my stomach, and before I could shove it back down, it erupted. I jumped up from the bed and raced to Keane’s bathroom, falling to my knees in front of the toilet to dry heave. My stomach was empty, but that didn’t keep nausea from spilling over.
“Eve,” Keane said, stopping in the open doorway. “What’s wrong?”
I wiped the back of my hand over my mouth and heaved again. This time, both Keane and Beau were by my side. Beau held my hair back as I gagged, and Keane gently stroked my back. I hated it. I hated how kind they were suddenly being. It scared me.
“Yesterday was a mistake,” I mumbled, spitting into the toilet. I sat back on my haunches as tears slipped slowly down my face, shaking my head. “Why are you guys being so nice to me now?”
Beau looked at Keane, who sighed in response. “You submitted to us,” he whispered, getting to his feet to fill a cup of water for me at the sink. He handed it to me, and I took a sip, swishing my mouth out before spitting it into the toilet. “Once you submit to us, things change, Eve. That’s always how it’s been here.”
“So I’m just a number in your game,” I confirmed. “Just another girl to suck your dicks and open my legs when you beckon, right?”
Neither of them answered immediately, and a chill crawled up my spine as I sneaked a glance at Beau.
“Is that such a bad thing?” he asked, reaching out to gently touch my cheek. “Can you tell us right now that you didn’t enjoy it, sweetheart?”
I opened my mouth to answer and then faltered because I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I enjoyed it. But I also hated myself for enjoying it, and my emotions were too overwhelming to understand. Was I okay with being treated like a booty call by three crazy men? Days ago, I’d despised them, and now I didn’t know how I felt one way or the other, and that was almost worse than anything else.
“I’m not this person,” I said, side-stepping Keane as he reached out to touch me. “I don’t belong to anyone, especially not the three of you.” I shoved my shoulders back and marched past Beau and Keane, neither of whom tried to reach out and stop me. I reached the door, resting my hand on the doorknob, and turned to look at them as they stopped a few feet from me. “Leave me alone,” I insisted. “I need to figure this out on my own.”