Chapter 26: new tuxedo

MAVERICK'S P.O.V

Levi came to the house to assist me to get myself ready according to my mother. And by getting myself ready, she meant getting a new tuxedo for the wedding day, a wedding that wasn't my choice. If I had my way to at least make a choice, I would have just signed the wedding certificates and we will be all good. I wouldn't even spend a penny buying anything new just for a fake wedding. But for my mother, it was real and I was happy. She was the reason I agreed to marry the girl.


 I'd stayed back at the house after the incident making sure my mother didn't do any work, and that the maids and guards did all the work. She didn't need any stress before she left for her surgery. 


I had my designer bring some of his designs to the house to fit since he already had my measurements, he knew my size. I didn't want anyone clicking cameras or sending out anything concerning the wedding. I didn't want any drama on the Internet either.


"I like this one," Levi said, feeling the collar of the piece and I eyed him. This wasn't even a real wedding but I was so nervous. Just like the first time I was married. The difference was that the first time, I was eager and happy unlike now, I was angry, sad, and a little frustrated. All of this didn't make any sense at all. I was going to marry a young girl who didn't know anything; she looked like that. She was probably innocent. I wished the situation was different, like being in love and wanting. When I met Ruth, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever met in my entire life. I was in love, and so was she. We had so many plans about building a family, a happy family. But all plans withered the moment she dropped those divorce papers on my desk; papers I didn't plan to sign. However, when she made a threat through her lawyer, I signed grudgingly.  I always wondered where I went wrong or what I did wrong. And since we didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, to date, I don't know why she signed those papers. At least she would have said a proper goodbye for closure. I still blame myself for loving her that much, for choosing her nonetheless when my mother was against our relationship. Even now I still feel like I was incomplete without her. For months, I had waited thinking she would come back, but she never did. And I hate myself for waiting. I should have moved on years ago. 


 I looked at the mirror before me, surely the grey tuxedo looked heavenly, the perfect fit for me. Just like that, all I could see was my reflection with Ruth in the mirror. I was going crazy, and that angered me. I guess it is because of Ruth that all of these didn't make any sense to me. With a sigh laced with anger and tiredness, I jacked the tie off my neck and walked to the counter to pour myself a glass of whisky. Thankfully mom was asleep, she wasn't here to lecture me.  When I drank up one glass of the liquor, I went back to where the fitting was done.

"This is fine," I said to Felix, the designer. He helped me pull off the upper clothing. After which I made the payment and he packed it up. He made sure to say a thank you, bowing curtly before leaving.

I had taken the whisky bottle with me from the counter to the sitting room. Sinking into the sofa I poured myself another glass and gulped it straight.

"Slow down Mav" Levi cautioned. He was the only one that knew exactly how I felt. He was with me the day I saw those papers on my desk, he saw me cry like a child. It was hard letting go. And with the entanglement, I felt sorry for Natalie, I would never give her as much love as she may need as her husband. She'll possibly hate me forever. I wish she knew how painful it was to love and trust. Maybe I'll give her some advice and tips on how never to fall in love with a reckless person like me. I might just give her some freedom to travel and see the world beyond. Because as long as life was concerned, I may never love any woman again the way I loved Ruth.

I poured more liquor into the glass. As I drank, Levi took the bottle from my hand. "That's okay," he said. I didn't fight it, I couldn't even if I tried. My energy was drained. I dropped the empty glass on the center table and rested my back on the sofa. Levi came to sit next to me. He rubbed my shoulder and patted my thighs. "You'll be fine, " he said. Thanks to Levi for always being there. We've been friends since grade 5, we became closer when his mother died. He stayed at our house almost all day after classes. His personal guard always came to pick him up; his father always knew where to find him. He was the brother I never had. We looked out for each other.

"Thanks," I said in a whisper. 

"Take this glass," Levi said to one of the maids that walked past us. Taking the glass, she wiped the glass table top and went away after bowing curtly.

"I think you should rest," Levi suggested and I nodded. I was too tired to rest. Too tired to do anything. All I wanted if I could have it was to lie still on the sofa and not think about Ruth. Though it was almost an impossible task to clear Ruth off my head.

"Do you need food?" He asked. I wasn't sure how I felt, so I shook my head in response to him.


I wasn't sure how long it was but I drifted off to sleep on the sofa.