Half Animal

On my walk through the forest land, aside from the chirping birds, rustling leaves, and roaring wind, there is only one foreign sound. My boots tapping the ground in steady movements.

However, hurried stomps and hard breathing soon interrupt it. "I told you to wait, love. Goddess, you are fast" Greyson says as he walks by my side.

“The key to moving fast is to walk fast”, I throw at him, continuing to walk. “I am sorry, okay”. I feel his muscle stuffed arm grab mine as we come to a halt. My eyes travel to where our skin meets, then back to him. “I really am, love,” he says with a bit more sincerity and desperation?

I look down, suddenly finding my shoes much more interesting. He did nothing wrong so there is nothing to forgive him for. If anything, I should apologize. Apologize to everyone. I am the one keeping a secret from all of them.

However, I wouldn’t have done it any other way. No matter how pathetic it sounds, I need Roman to heal myself. However, there is a whisper in the back of my mind that is telling me to protect him, find him, and rescue him from whatever ordeal he is in.

Looking back at him directly, I sign. Dad has requested a tour day for all of the contestants as another apology. Despite the boys having patrol training, it has been cancelled for today. It was the perfect opportunity for me to begin researching Roman's whereabouts on my own. My first step was to go to Roman's home to find out what pack he wanted to join.

While the contestants are either stuffing their mouths with food or enjoying the great halls that our ancestors built, Greyson is interrupting my solo mission. But mainly, he is here, apologizing

“It’s nothing, Greyson. You did nothing wrong”, I say, resuming my walking, hoping he cannot see the guilt in my eyes. He can read people's expressions and finds out yet another secret. Now, who knows how he will react. Despite all of this, it feels good to know Greyson cares about my feelings. Roman never did.

*Don’t compare them*. Lilly growls at me. But I am not sure if she is in favour of Greyson or Roman.

“Taylor, love.” He stops me again, clearly frustrated.

"You don't get it. This is how I am. Any negative emotion sets me off, and I act without thinking. Just like when I figured you were our marked mate. At the prime moment, I lost control and hurt you". His eyes held me with guilt mirroring mine.

A crease appeared on his forehead as his eyes narrowed. Searching my eyes for any remorse he continued. “Cold and heartless. It's like that with my wolf, as he's stronger than me, so I can't control him all the time”.

He large hangs points at the dark black rings around his iris. I feel as if I am having a first-time experience all over again. His eyes are as cold as ice. The same eyes that I saw, when we first met.

My first reaction to his confession was to call it bullshit. He is the only one who passed stages one and two with flying colours. His speed, strength, endurance, intelligence is one of a kind and I am sure my dad picked him for a reason. Dad personally went to Golden Summit and recruited Greyson to take part in the competition.

The dark in his eyes intensifies as he stares at me. "I know what you are thinking, love," he says. “Greyson is….. he is a wuss. The only thing he did right was let me take over", his eyes briefly turned sad before becoming hard with rage. By the look in his eyes, I can tell its personnel. Personal enough for Greyson to give his wolf complete control.

“Why did he let you take over?” I whisper, unable to process this new information.

Grayson's wolf is silent, watching me quietly. When Greyson first saw me, his expression was calculating and cold. It was his wolf at the time. Hell. His wolf was in control all the time.

Although the wolves cannot take over their human side for long, I feel like Greyson had given his wolf control way back in the past, and they habituated to that style: his wolf at front, while Greyson is at the back, tucked away. I back away. My wolf would never put me in a situation where I have to deal with the consequences of her actions. I know she wouldn't.

A flood of memories rushes back to me and everything makes sense now.

The gaze. The cold shoulder. The change in attitude. The guilt in his eyes for all the things his wolf did. The hug when I am nearly killed by Oliver. The apolozizing.

*He killed three wolves becuase of me*

*Well, well, well, if it isn't the one who ordered me with her Beta voice*

*I know what I did is unaccounted for*

“You don't know a thing. So I suggest you shut up”

The moment feels intense to me suddenly. “It was you. You were the one who did not like me and showed me the cold shoulder. The times when you messed up because of your animal instinct, you left your human half to deal with it”

I have no idea why Greyson did what he did, but I am too overwhelmed to think clearly. As I open my mouth to speak again, a blood-curdling scream erupts. I lean forward and clutch my stomach with one hand and my head with the other. It hurts everywhere. It feels as if tens of thousands of claws are tearing me apart from head to toe. I falll down on my knees crying.

I look to Greyson as a silent plea for help. But he is in no better shape either, ripping his roots like me while looking down at me.

“Please”. My voice was barely but a whisper. But I know he heard me. I am turning into a rouge. As my legs slowly transform, I scream again.

*Lilly?*

***It hurts. He is..***

*Lilly? Stop turning*

***I can't. It is forcing itselt***. I can hear her whimpering and howling in my head, which just adds to more to my pain.

Not a rouge.

No.

Please.

I repeat over and over again.