Awaken

“Death is not the end”, they said. All the elders make it a point in their lives to preach about death as if it is a gift. I wonder how it would feel though. Dying—

Four years ago, that was all I ever thought. It seemed fitting. My body slowly deteriorating felt like the best thing ever. It made me feel happy to think all the suffering will end. The loneliness The loneliness I had felt will slowly drift away as a mere emotion as I leave my body and join The Mother. Utter bliss, contentment and peace would fill my very pores and there would be no pain. No suffering.

I jolt awake only to see the air around me turn black. Shadows…. I panic. Soon I lay in a pool of dark shadows. My body is floating but grounded at the same time. When I look at it, I feel it, but I can not see anything. Shadows cover me. Swirling around me whispering too many voices all at once.

“Rise”

Goosebumps erupted all over my skin. Whoever that is, it is no wolf. Neither mortal. That sound is femininity mixed with power. The power that could burn the world and build it back again with a snap. I clutch my body, trying to get a feel for it. The shadows put me in an upright position. The cold sting of the shadows is the only thing I focused on.

In a distance, I can see a large rip in the fabric of reality, and through it shines an intense white light. It makes a path for me to see and soon the light, the shine is upon me. That brightness is too much in this dark void. The light is drawing me to it. Not only me but someone else too. A man.

Shielding my eyes, I look down, a scream getting trapped in my throat. The Shadows, which were around my Body were Hands, So Many of Them. The Shadow hands were pulling me towards the blinding light and I fought against them, but they were too strong. I screamed as I was pulled closer and closer to the light. The air was knocked out of me and I could hear the female voice chanting. "I...you...bond...not connect...ed ...soul..s....more." The pain in my chest was unbearable and there was blood. I screamed as the voice continued chanting. "Choose....lead....not fail..my rune." My throat dried up and my chest burned right where my heart is.

The voice continues its chant as I'm pulled closer and closer to the never-ending blinding light. The heat intensifies and the pain in my chest becomes unbearable. Black dots appear in my vision, it feels like my throat is dry and my chest is on fire. The voice talks about how I need to choose and lead, but I feel like I'm failing and falling

I plummet to the ground, my arm and hips taking the brunt of the impact. I let out a groan and clutch my arm, tears streaming down my face. But they're not from pain. They come from the realization that this dream feels all too real, like it's trying to send me a message.

I try not to think too much about it as I realize that a panic attack will only make things worse. I count from thirty to one, counting my breaths as well. I slowly come back to reality in my new room on the second floor, which Dan gave the key to, after he and David, a contestant who clearly fucked the daylights out of my best friend and that not-so-amazing scene I walked into after my depressing run. I yelp as the door gets pounded on. Dan's voice sing-songs through the wood, “pack grounds in 30”.

I try to remember how I got here, but my head is throbbing and the memories are just out of reach.

“You could try to remember what we did and waste the whole day or get ready because we have a job to do”. Lilly smarts and I pick the latter she suggested. I do have a job to do, atleast to my pack. If I can't lead the pack as a beta, I can still help bring a new beta.

I try to remember what was the last thing I did while getting ready. But to no avail. I go to the kitchen island and fill my plate with food. I sit down at the dining table with the other contestants and Dan.

The atmosphere felt thick and tense, and it didn't seem to be improving. I stayed quiet and ate my eggs, but Angelo had other plans. He moved over to sit next to me, and spoke up. "So princess, care to tell us where you were last night?" I looked up at him, and saw that he had a few bruises. His lower lip was split open, and he had marks on his brow and cheek. For a moment, he looked worried. But then his expression changed into a smirk.

He came close to my face, his lips almost brushing my ear as he whispered, "Was he good?"

Dan's cough sounded incredibly loud in the silence that followed, and Angelo met Greyson's gaze with a challenging look. I tried to think back to the previous night, but other than a pounding headache, I couldn't remember anything. The expression on my face must have been pretty transparent, because the next thing I remember is Nicholas saying, "It's okay. Take it easy." He passes me a water bottle and I pretty much snatch it from him and chug it like I've been in the desert for days.

Angelo chuckles darkly to himself, muttering "I take that as a yes, princess". However, he is quickly cut off by a deep voice.

“Zip it”

I look up at that heavenly sound only to find myself staring into Grayson's eyes and suddenly I'm transported into a dark pit. His hands are on either side of my face and his mouth is on my neck, licking and sucking. I can feel the wetness of his tongue on my skin and it feels amazingly erotic. I shake my head to clear the vision and return to reality.

“My neck”. Lilly sighs as she sends me a picture of her with a large wolf on top of her, licking her neck.

“Lilly, what the hell is that?”

“It’s Greyson's wolf”

“Do you remember everything and you are telling me now?” I yelled at her in my head.

“I had trouble remembering at first, but that this is the only thing I can remember and also one more thing.”

“What is that?” I plead with her to tell me what is going on.

"The party yesterday was a lot of fun, don't you guys think?" Casper said, looking around at everyone.

"It was pretty boring at first," Ren chimed in, "but the drinking contest between you and Angelo was great." Julian raised his glass in a toast to Casper. "Too bad you had to lose to Angelo. The fight was brutal."

I looked at Casper in shock, who was proudly patting his chest and pointing at Angelo. He had angry red marks on both of his cheeks. "You know, as a very wise person once told me: never keep your neck where your head doesn't belong."

Angelo instead started laughing before throwing a vulgar gesture “What's fun in that”

“You guys fought?” I ask, looking at both of them. “You missed the most of it. Just as we hauled their asses apart, your dad comes bursting in with you and Greyson. With only one sentence to both of you, he hurried back out. What was that sentence?" Luciano scratches his chin as he looks at me and Greyson.

“You both report to me tomorrow and you better explain what the fuck you two were doing in the woods at this time. It is more than one sentence, actually” Zico says, looking at me, Greyson and Luciano. “Right, that. Smart indeed, Zico”

Gilbert clears his throat, getting all of our attention. “So the question is, what you two were doing in the woods late at night” I look at Greyson for answers but he stays silent. Does he not remember too?

The heavy silence is broken by the booming voice of Valerino. "Did you guys know about the vampire attack?" he asks. I look up at him in gratitude, happy for the change in subject. Even sitting, Valerino is towering – easily twice the size of any of the boys here. My eyes find Greyson again, and I'm surprised to see that he's already looking at me. His eyes are wide and his body is tense. Suddenly, I'm feeling just as awkward as before. But nothing could have prepared me for what came next.

"Tay, I think you should see this," Lilly said, gravely. Closing my eyes, I allowed the bond between us to flow the memories of yesterday through. I saw it all--me deciding to go to Roman's home; Greyson apologising; me thinking I was becoming a rogue (which I was not until Greyson told me that "my mate" was cheating on me); him taking me in his arms and keeping me on a soft sofa; me hurting him...oh no. Lilly, I transformed for the first time in a long time. No wonder I can feel Lilly and talk to her more often than before.I was out for blood after realising what Roman was doing and where I was--in Roman's home, on his sofa.

Greyson's wolf and Lilly fought until he calmed her down with licks and nuzzles. Lilly enjoyed those ways more than she should have until a man came out of the shadows only to collapse on the ground. He was the warrior who had been sent with Roman and he had vampire bites all over his body. He died in my arms.The vampire attack wasn't just any old vampire attack--it was purposeful and targeted at one of our guards who just happened to be the one who went with Roman. The warrior's last words were not meant for his family - they were a warning to the pack. Mr Roman is the mole.

The ground around me began to shift and I gripped the table. I was ready to vomit, not caring about the eyes that were now watching me. Suddenly, all of my emotions poured out of me and tears threatened to fall. I quickly blinked them away, knowing that now was not the time to show weakness. I needed to keep a strong front.

“What happened next, Lilly?”

“The rest of it I can't recall.”

I glance at Grayson as I stand up, "We need to meet dad before the training.". I do not look behind to see if he is following, I do not need to. It is important that we talk privately. Walking up to dad’s office, we get to do exactly that.

As soon as I heard his boots sound, I asked, “How much do you remember?”

“Everything,” he says gravely.

"Well, here's the problem. I do remember what happened. In some ways, yes, but only in some ways. As for what happened after we found the warrior, I have no idea.” Greyson closes the gap between us, opening his mouth to tell me something. I lean into him but at the very moment-

“Hey sneakers, wait for the big man,” Angelo shouts as he jogs up to us

“We decided it is best to keep the lady with two or more of us all the time” His accusing tone does not sit well with me, as I quirk up a brow at him another came rushing in. I am surprised to see Gilbert walking up to us with ease.

“Don't worry princess. We will protect you from any unwanted night walkers”

“You are speaking as if she has some wanted night walkers crawling around” Gilbert keeps an arm around my back as he makes us walk first leaving Angelo and Greyson to fall a step behind us.

“What happened yesterday?” His tone is sharp. I take a breath before replying. “Honestly, I don't remember all of it”

“Tell me what you remember then”

“Where do I even begin? And if you are learning about this all of them have a right to know about it too. I can't tell you without the others.” It is obvious I am trying to avoid telling him anything. Seems like he read between the lines “Look, little girl. There are bigger things going on over here. And I need to know everything to keep you safe”

“Gilbert, slow down. No one asked you to protect me. And I certainly do not need to tell you everything” I signed. I know what I am doing is wrong. It doesn't feel like me to shut down a person when they are only trying to help.

I look at Gilbert softly. I take his hand gently in mine. “Look, I am sorry. That is not me at all. The truth is, I can't remember what happened fully, and I am trying to remember all of it. Talking with dad might help and Greyson seems to remember everything. Just give me time to open up”

What Gilbert does next completely takes me off guard. His fingers brush my cheek oh so slowly, his chocolate brown eyes have red specks coating them. “It’s okay. All you need to know is that we want you safe”

No matter how Gilbert is behaving, I can't help but feel like a fragile woman in his eyes for him to say such a thing. Thankfully, neither Greyson nor Angelo interrupted Gilbert and me.

Nodding, I open the door to my father’s office. It was Alpha Ezekiel who said, "All of you get out except you Taylor.". All the men left the room, staring at me as they left. Greyson's look is hard and he looked like he was about to interject, but Angelo beat him to it. The man kept a hand on Greyson's shoulder as he escorted him out of the office. Angelo looks calm, despite the situation and Gilbert mouthed, we will be outside.

After the door is closed. Dad said, “Take a seat, Taylor”. Immediately, warning bells ran in my head. There are only a couple of times dad uses my name. Times when I am in trouble. “Good morning, Alpha, Dad,” I say looking at the both of them. I cautiously sit trying not to fidget.

The atmosphere is tense with pin-drop silence. After a long silence, dad finally broke it. “What happened the night before?" Dad asked the exact question that had been bothering me since this morning. "I don't remember everything," I half-lied. I don't want to tell anyone yet that Roman is my mate who is also a traitor. “Then describe what you recall”, It's up to Dad to see through my lies and read between the lines.

I sat up straight and cleared my throat. I gave them a hazy explanation of what transpired the day before. Starting with my decision to go for a run in the woods, where I met Greyson and walked with him until the warrior sprang from the shadows and crashed on us. Alpha continues, "Can you tell us why you decided to go for a run in the woods?"

“To clear my head”

“What were you and Greyson doing in the woods?”

"We talked. We had a few disagreements during the training. So we talked." I nodded, looking at the desk. My hands were shaking, so I put them on my lap. I don't want them to see that as a sign of lying. “What did you do after you discovered the warrior? How come you didn't warn the patrol or mind link me?" Dad's piercing voice pierces through me.

"I don't recall anything after that," I admit honestly. They each give a nod. "I want you to be truthful, Taylor." I can sense your anxiety. "What are you scared of?" When Dad says it, his eyes soften. "I'm sorry, what did I miss? Am I being interrogated? Dad? Alpha? " I search both of their faces for answers.

Dad replies by signing. "I need you to know a few things. One. The royal beta contest is going to happen sooner than we planned. Two. I want you to train with the boys, not only assess them but get yourself back in shape too. Three. We will do this again and I expect honest answers from you this time.”

"Again, why did you go into the woods?”

"Dad, what's happening?" I heard myself saying instead of answering Alpha's question.

"There were not one but two attacks last night. One with the doctor's guard. And second, on the Royal Luna."