Coward of Cowards

My heart aches to know that someone could do something so atrocious. Harming an unborn child, killing a warrior and betraying their own kind,- Roman, who exactly are you and what do you stand for? Lilly growls in my head and I have to mentally keep her down from shifting and eliminating the threat.

Roman, the doctor, I realize now, is not what he seems. He definitely has a hidden agenda and is not to be trusted. The revelation that he may have been responsible for the near-loss of an unborn child is making me see red. My future Alpha. I can't help but feel protectiveness for the child even though it isn't born yet.

“How is she?” My voice is a mix of mine and my wolf again. The room momentarily shudders, the debris forming a mist from the surfaces before settling again. Both of their eyes widen. But it is short-lived as Alpha booms at me.

“She almost lost the baby”, However, his voice cracks at the end once again. “We are not blind, Taylor. Do not even think for a second we are. Whoever you are working with, you need to come clean now. This pack has been through a lot and we do not need a traitor in our ranks” Lilly whines at the threat and retreats to the back of my head.

“I am not a traitor, I could never hurt-” My voice comes out as a strangled cry before Alpha cuts me off.

“Either you come clean with everything that is going on or I strip you out of whatever rank you have and banish you from my pack. No more monitoring the Royal Betta contest, no more a prize for the winner and no more pack” His voice is like thunder, laced with power. I look down, unable to look at him with all that power radiating from him.

Dad stays silent through it all. I do not feel his glance at me. But I can feel the Alpha drilling holes in my head with his stare. I know I have been keeping secrets. But I know, deep in my heart, that I am protecting Roman and eventually myself. Everything changes when you realise things are way bigger than you and your problems.

I am not the only one who is taking the heat of the situation. Everyone around me is hurting one way or another and I have answers to some of them. I tried to take things into my own hands. I tried to go to Roman’s home for goodness sake. But what did I find? Him cheating? I failed in my mission. I am good for nothing.

“Taylor, we don't have all day”, Alpha says tapping the desk in a rhythmic pattern. I can clearly see that he is out of patience. I don't blame him.

I told myself several times, the knowledge that Roman being my mate will die with me. That no one will even know a whiff of it. I intend to keep it that way. However, the truth is a bitter lie. Always. Not what you want, it is the one you have to face head-on. Roman may be the mole in our midst and somehow managing to already stir things up here. More than once. As a result of trying to protect this secret, I haven't told anyone about Roman.

And If I put it plainly, I am too much of a coward and selfish person to keep the pack best interests above myself.

“Taylor, last chance. If you do not speak. You and Greyson will meet the same fate”, Dad's voice puts me out of my head and back to reality. Is it because I heard his voice or heard Greyson's name, I am not sure, but I turn to him. It's like my eyes are asking the questions my mouth can't speak.

Why him? I suddenly became defensive. But that is not a surprise. My inner wrath dies down as realisation hits me like a volcano. Greyson knows. He knows more than me. Didn't he say anything? If so, why? Is he protecting me? The one who only thinks about himself.

I know he told me recently that was all his wolf. My eyes are drawn to the door. Has he ever gone against his wolf before? This is not the first. The first one I can think of is him apologizing to me. I didn't see his wolf beneath his eyes from this morning. In his icy eyes, the golden sheen had disappeared, along with the wolf within them.

“I didn’t kill or try to kill anyone”, I repeat again with whatever courage I have left. I can't let them think I am at fault here. I am tired of people giving me looks as if I failed my whole life. Not my whole life - I had an awesome life before I turned 18. I am an active participant in everything that my pack does. I used to help my dad with his work. One of my best friends, other than Dan and Lauren, is the very Alpha’s son. He and I trained together. I used to be almost as strong as him. I always thought of him as a brother I never had but at last even he gave up on me.

I didn't lie, but I didn't tell them the truth either. That Roman did it. He is the mole.

My dad looks up at me with disappointment and I can sense the conflict in him. I know he's struggling with what to do. I plead with him with my eyes, trying to get him to see that I'm still a good person, despite everything that's happened. But he says, “Get her out of here”. I know he's doing what he thinks is best but it feels like he's giving up on me.

Alpha abruptly stands up, and I see him exchange a glance with my father before they both hurry out of the room. The boys do the opposite; they rush into the room. I can't hear anything over the pounding of my heart, but Angelo softly cups my cheeks and wipes away my tears. I didn't even realize I was crying.

Seeing my dad give up on me hurt more than anything else has ever hurt before. I'm filled with rage and fire but deep down, there's an excruciating pain that comes from knowing that my own father doesn't believe in me anymore.

“They think I am a traitor, that I organised those attacks”, I hiccup as I say. Gilbert goes, “attacks?” I look at him. His expression is hard. Angelo cradles my face once more and says in the softest voice “Whatever they are thinking. I know deep down in my heart, they are wrong. You will not do something like that princess. Never.”

“I kept a secret that could be the very thing which destroys all of us”

“Hey hey hey, look at me. You just say the word and we get to the bottom of this.”

I look up at Gilbert with tears in my eyes, “They are going to throw me out, out of the pack. I am no longer a prize. I am no longer your responsibility, the one who you need to take care of”

“Little one, we do not think like that”

“I know you do, Gilbert. I can see it in you in the way you talk and behave like I am just some prize”, I shake my head.

“Everyone gives up on me”, I yell as I stand up, my hands gripping my roots hard.

“You guys will eventually give up on me too” I panic as I grip my shirt where my heart is. “We will never,” Angelo says with a hard face, His expression is serious as he takes my hands in his and squeezes them, nodding at me. The comfort stays for a few minutes before I take my hands away from Angelo. I whip my head towards Greyson.

“Luciano said dad is the one who showed up with us. Dad asked me why I didn't call him or inform the patrol when I saw the corpse” I whisper to myself, not able to digest the fact, but somehow Gilbert heard me.

“You mean the dead warrior?”, Gilbert gives me a hard look. His mouth a thin line.

“Where exactly have you two been romancing? In the woods?”, Angelo whispers angrily. He looks furious like something physically hurt him. But I can’t really tell if he is mad about me being upset or him being jealous of Grayson.

“Greyson”, my voice breaks. “What happened afterwards?”

Greyson did not utter a word. Needless to say, he did not seem shocked or surprised by the outcome of the meeting. As he knew, this would happen. His face is void of expression and his eyes are void of his wolf.

What was Greyson thinking? It was him. He told everything to dad. I read in Greyson’s file that Dad himself recruited him. He is more loyal to dad. The worst part is, I can't even blame his wolf for its instincts to report to the higher authority, I need to blame him. It is his own doing.

Not even meeting my eyes. He goes out of the room. I sob again and go for him. But I am met with Guards. George, Lauren’s mate included. He is looking better, his injuries are all gone and he is looking strong. His eyes held pity, “Your father said it would be best for me to escort you to–”

“Prison,” My voice comes out nonchalantly. But inside, I am dying.