Fear

/-Riley-/
I meet with Roman at a pub since I have nothing to do. Partially trying to avoid my friends too.
By friends, I mean Tess. I don't wanna hear her 'i told you so' bullshit.
I order martini and wait for him. He shows up five minutes later and I notice the slight resemblance between him and Dean. I should ask him about that.
"Sorry I'm late. Had to look extra good for you since you found my card among your dry-cleaned clothes." He says and I chuckle.
"Oh come on, I've been busy. But I'm here now so let's make the most out of it" I smile.
"I guess so. I wanted to see you so bad probably cause I missed you. I would have come over but then I remembered that sassy housemate of yours. Speaking of Liam, where is he? I half expected him to be here so I mentally prepared some comebacks for his snarky comments" he says and i chuckle.
"Liam is not that bad. You don't have to prepare for war with him. He just doesn't like people" i tell him.
"Well tell him people don't like him too".
"He's really sweet if you get to know him. enough of liam, what have you been up to?" I ask
"Aside waiting for a pretty girl to call, nothing much, you?" He shrugs.
"I'm good..i guess" I force a smile and gulp my drink. I'm not good at hiding my emotions.
"What's wrong? You're answer wasn't so convincing" he asks.
"It's really nothing".
"Come on, Riley, I'm your friend. Tell me" he urges.
"Roman, I'm fine. Just a bit heartbroken, that's it".
"Heartbroken huh? I suppose this has nothing to do with Dean?" He snorts.
"How'd you know about Dean and I?" I ask suspiciously.
"It's all over the news. The girl he called his heartbeat. Trash!" He says the last part with spite.
"Is there more to this? Who's Dean to you, anyway? You don't seem to like him very much".
He cackles briefly.
"Like him? I don't see what's likeable about a man that stole my girlfriend and lured her to her death" he says and my blood runs cold.
"Death?".
"Forget it. He's an angel to everyone" he mutters.
"What happened?" I ask curiously.
"You haven't told me about your heartbreak" he smiles and i breath an 'oh'.
I tell him everything about the pregnancy and Dean's metamorphosis.
"The same old story. He's probably gonna remain an ass for life" he hissed. I raise a brow.
"What are you talking about?".
"You really don't know, do you? You're not the first Dean's asking to abort a baby. You think all his toys removed their wombs and shoved it down their toilets? 'course not. They don't even bother to tell him cause he'll get rid of ir himself. My girlfriend, Tatiana, was a victim" he says.
"She left you for him?" I ask.
"I would have preferred that. He took her against her will, spoilt her with love and money until she was hopelessly trapped in his web. Then she got pregnant and ruined it all. He asked hr to get rid of it but she wouldn't. He was angry she was interrupting his fun. He told her to her face that he belonged to no one and her pregnancy couldn't tie him down. He forced her to do it. Hired the doctor himself and she bled to death. He didn't even show remorse just moved on to his next toy, Sofiya." His voice couldn't conceal his grief. He must have lived her a lot.
"And now you're next" He adds and my breath hitches. I clutch to my stomach protectively. He can't do that to me. He wouldn't dare.
I can't let him do that to me. I'll fight for my baby. If anyone's to die, it'll certainly be him. This baby must live and Dean has no say in that.
And to think I helplessly wanted him back. I wanted that monster back in my life.
But not anymore. Everything connecting Dean and I other than this baby dies today.
I'm not his toy.
I will never be.
/-Renzo-/
"What the fuck are you talking about? What ill luck?" I ask.
"You really don't see it, do you? I'm badluck, Renzo. My very existence is ill luck. I don't deserve love. I'm a very bad person" he says reaching for the drink but I back
"You need to calm down. Sit" I tell him. He doesn't budge so I pull him to sit on the bed but he sinks to the floor and buries his hand in his greasy hair. I squat in front of him.
"Dean, look at me please". He slowly lifts his head to stare in my face. His eyes are misty and full of pain.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"They all leave. She's gonna leave me like the rest. She won't stay. She'll leave".
"She? What she? Who's leaving?" I ask perplexed.
"They never stay. I could have saved them but I didn't. I'm a murderer. I'll hurt her like I hurt them. Why am I so unlucky huh?" His voice cracks as he speaks.
It hurts to see him like this yet I can't even tell what the actual problem is.
"Just like Tatiana and Grace, she'll leave me".
Everything suddenly makes sense at this moment and a wave of guilt hits me.
How could I have forgotten? I should have known from the moment he freaked out about Riley's pregnancy. How could I have judged him so blindly?.
"Dean..."
"It's all my fault. I caused it all. I was too selfish. I should have known fate doesn't like me. I'm not meant to be happy. I'm not meant to be...."
"Dean stop! None of it was your fault. You couldn't have stopped it. You're not a murderer" I interrupt.
"You're not allowed to lie to me. I'm bad luck. Nobody wants to stay with me. I eventually kill them. I'm tired, Renzo. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired" He finally breaks into a sob and my heart breaks in two.
Dean's mother had a premature labour and died while giving birth to him at seven months. Though he blamed himself for her death a few times, it never got to him since omar's wife treated him like her son.
Then Tatiana came along. The love of his life. The one he could die for. When she got pregnant, it took him to cloud nine. He was excited to be a father. Dean had always been fond of children. Then he had an emergency meeting when she was seven months gone and a mysterious fire took both mother and child.
He almost lost his sanity. We got a psychologist for him since his case wasn't so bad. Her name was Grace.
Though Dean didn't love her as much as he loved Tatiana, he respected her a lot. Everything was going smoothly until she became pregnant. Just when he thought things were finally falling into place, another mysterious fire took both mother and child from him at seven months.
Since then, he tagged himself a murderer cause he believed his bad luck caused their deaths. Just when he decided to give love another chance, Riley had to get pregnant. Now he's scared of loosing her too.
"I've accepted my fate. I'm not meant to have kids. I won't be selfish any more. I won't let her leave me too. I don't want the baby. I just want her alive".
"She's not Grace or Tatiana or even your mom. She's different, Dean. She can do this." I try assuring him but he gives a bitter laugh.
"Last time I heard that, I had Grace's corpse in my arms and where the fuck was I? Where?. If Riley dies too, I doubt my heart will survive it. I just have to make her hate me Enough to get rid of it. I can live with her hate but I can't bear to watch her die. I've always been careful with my flings but now, one careless mistake in my part is gonna make me loose her. You have to help me, Renzo, please".
The words won't even form as I stare at this broken man.
A tear slides down my cheek.
"Please stop me. I killed them and now I'm gonna kill her. Stop me please, stop me" He sobs.
It hurts that I can't even find the words to console him. I can't make him feel better.
"My heart hurts, Renzo. It's hard to even breathe. I'm tired. I want it to end. I can't...." A gasp escapes his lips and I reach for him.
"Dean? Are you okay?" I ask but he keeps gasping, holding his chest.
He groans loudly and panic sets in. I quickly reach for my phone to call the doctor.
Suddenly he goes still and I fear the worst. Is he even breathing?.