15

Liliana

Over the next few days, I pondered Alistair's words about deserving to be with someone who made me happy. But what stuck with me most was his promise at the end of the night.

"You call me anytime you need something, Liliana. I'll always show up for you."

That phrase played over in my mind repeatedly, throughout the day and sometimes multiple times an hour.


I hadn’t seen Julian after the night he blew me off. He’d called the next day, apologizing, saying he thought I’d be ok with the change of venue. It was complete bullshit.

I was meeting Julian tonight. I wanted to have a heart-to-heart with him in person.

I had my mind made up that if Julian didn’t show any remorse, it would be the last time I’d see him.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure where our relationship was going to be by the end of the conversation. I wondered if he even had a clue as to how I was feeling. Or if he even cared.

I had just started getting ready to go out when Julian called.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Babe, I’m just not feeling very well. I’m sure I’m coming down with something.” Julian sniffed, and he did sound a little congested.

“Oh,” I said. “There’s been a really bad bug going around… Want me to bring you some chicken soup?”

Julian chuckled. “Thanks babe, but that’s ok. I don’t want to get you sick. I’m just going to rest and hopefully, we can get talk in a few days when I’m past it.”

“Okay. Feel better.” I stared at my phone after we hung up.

In my gut, I knew he was lying to me. But if there was a slim chance that he was actually sick, I wanted to be there for him. Either way, I had to see him and find out.

I decided it would be a nice gesture to take him some chicken soup.

I put on jeans and a T-shirt and went to the kitchen to see if I needed to make a grocery run.

I stood in front of Julian’s door and knocked, holding the insulated thermos full of soup and orange slices against my chest.

Alistair answered the door. “Hey, Liliana.” His smile faded as he saw my glum expression. “Everything ok?”

“Just dropping off a care package for Julian.” My mind was so wrapped up in what I was going to say to Julian, I hadn’t even thought about Alistair being there.

“Care package?” Alistair said, his eyes narrowing.

“Julian said he’s coming down with something. I made him some chicken soup.” I tried to look over Alistair’s shoulder to see if he was on the couch. “Can I come in?” I asked, realizing he hadn’t moved out of the doorway. “How sick is he?”

Alistair sighed and stepped back so I could come in. Then he put his hands on his hips. “Liliana . . . he’s not here.”

I stared at Alistair, not surprised at all. “Did he go to the drugstore?”

Alistair looked frozen in place for a moment. Then he dropped his head. “No. He didn’t go to the drugstore.”

I glanced around the living room, knowing exactly where he went.

“Do you want to come in and sit down?” Alistair motioned toward the couch.

I put the container on the coffee table and sat on the couch. I had expected it, but somewhere inside, I’d hoped that I was wrong. A sinking feeling, a cold ball of steel, felt like it was running from my head down my body.

Alistair sat next to me. His T-shirt showed off the winding serpent tattoo on one bicep.

God, why did he have to be so sexy? I forced myself to focus on why I’d come there in the first place.

“If he’s not here, where the hell did he go?” I looked up into Alistair’s eyes with a glimmer of hope that Julian wasn’t really lying. That there was a misunderstanding, or a mistake. That Julian hadn’t called and lied about being sick to go somewhere else.

Alistair sighed heavily and laced his fingers together, his arms resting on his thighs as he leaned forward. “I think he went to the club he goes to all the time. You probably know the one.”

I tried to hold my head high as I nodded. “I do.”

I knew it before I even asked, but hearing it from Alistair somehow made the reality sink in.

My eyes welled up, but I fought back the tears. I refused to cry, especially not in front of Alistair.

"Liliana, I'm sorry he lied to—"

"It's not your place to apologize, Alistair. But thank you," I said, placing my hands on my thighs, preparing to leave. His gaze held me in my seat. "What I can't understand is why he couldn't just be honest with me about wanting to go out. Why lie?"

Alistair seemed on the verge of saying something profound but held back.

"It's okay, Alistair. I'm not expecting an answer. Just thinking aloud," I continued, clearing my throat. "But I do have a question for you."

"Alright," Alistair said, inhaling deeply and leaning in slightly. "I'll answer if I can."

"I'm sorry to put you on the spot, Alistair. It's not fair, but I need to know," I said, watching his face closely as he nodded, his lips pressed together tightly. I took a deep breath and asked, "Do you think he's cheating on me?"

Before I finished the sentence, Alistair's expression darkened.

And in that moment, I knew. I felt myself crumbling. I covered my face with my hand.

"Liliana—"

"It's okay," I choked out, tears already streaming down my cheeks. "I'm not really surprised."

I felt foolish for trying so hard in our relationship when he clearly didn't care. Humiliated.

I should have trusted my instincts and ended things when they started to sour. I should have ended it the night he didn't show up at the diner.

Maybe if I had the courage to break up with Julian sooner, things might have turned out differently between Alistair and me.

"What kind of person are you? Jumping from one brother to another?" The thought pushed me over the edge. I sobbed into my hands.

"Hey, Liliana. Hey," Alistair murmured, pulling me into a comforting embrace and swaying gently. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything," he said, though he had nothing to do with it.

I clung to him, burying my face in his shirt, letting the tears flow freely.

"He's an asshole," Alistair stated firmly.

"He really is," I agreed.

"A real jerk," he added.

“A bug—crumb—” I was trying to call him too many names at once and they got jumbled. “A big crumb pickle,” is what came out.

Alistair snorted. “Okay. A big crumb pickle. With a side of slime.”

I laughed, despite being so upset.

Alistair stroked my hair. “A damn stupid idiot,” he whispered.

Being in Alistair’s arms, even while I was crying over my own messed up guilt and regret, felt so right, I almost forgot myself.

I lifted my face, letting my cheek brush against his chin, to look into his eyes.

His warm brown eyes stared back at mine. His lips parted. It would have been so easy to lean forward, just a little, and press my mouth against his.

And God, I wanted that so much.

But I couldn’t. He was Julian’s brother. Even if the bastard was lying and cheating on me.

“Thanks, Alistair. Thanks for coming to my rescue again. But I’ve got—” I leaned back, trying to stand up. Alistair’s hands wrapped around mine, holding me in place.

"Liliana, you don’t have to leave,” he said softly.

His eyes dropped to my lips for just a second before meeting my gaze again.

My breath caught at his words. Heat rushed straight down my body, settling between my legs.

I wasn’t imagining the look in his eyes.

Alistair leaned closer, just an inch, his eyes darkening. I struggled to keep my breathing even.

"Alistair..." I whispered nervously.

I knew I should pull away, shut this down. But I felt frozen in place. I couldn't bring myself to stop him.

Alistair slowly lowered his face, his eyes flicking over my features, until his lips barely brushed mine.

He stayed like that, his breath shallow.

He was waiting.

Waiting for me to meet him the rest of the way. He wasn’t going to push his way onto me. He needed me to be ok with this.

I squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to give in, but the guilt came flooding in.

Even if Julian was cheating, I hadn’t broken up with him. We needed to talk. I needed closure to move on from our relationship. I could be upset with Julian for cheating, but wasn’t it shitty of me to have any kind of feelings for his brother?

“Alistair, we- we can’t,” I stammered as I leaned back. “Pretend this never happened."

Alistair held my gaze, emotion swirling in his eyes.

"What if I don't want to?" He finally said. "What if that was just a taste of what I really want with you?"

Pulling out of Alistair’s arms, I stood abruptly. “I have to go.”

Alistair stood at the same time and caught my wrist to keep me from walking away. “You don’t, Liliana. You don’t have to go anywhere.”

“I-I do have to go,” I stuttered. “I really do.”

“Liliana…,” his voice was asking me to stay, but his hand released me as I pulled away.

I ran out and drove away without looking back, feeling embarrassed and foolish. And wanting nothing more than to run back and throw myself into Alistair’s arms.