16

Alistair

I didn’t sleep worth a shit that night. I had to keep fighting the urge to call Liliana. And I kept thinking about how she’d felt in my arms.

How I didn’t want to let her go. I knew their relationship was done at this point.

I woke up to see Julian passed out, still sitting on the couch, a half-empty bottle of bourbon on the coffee table and a glass spilled everywhere. That combined with being tired made me lose my cool.

“Wake the fuck up,” I growled, shaking him, hoping he didn’t puke on me.

One eye cracked open. “It’s not time,” he said, his voice raw.

“It’s time to get up.”

“I just fell asleep,” he complained.

“I don’t give a fuck.” I put my hands on my hips. “It’s morning. Don’t you have to go to work?”

“I’ll call in sick.” He felt around for his phone. After watching him struggle for a couple of minutes, I produced it from between the cushions. And I threw it into a chair out of his reach.

“What the fuck, Alistair?” He stumbled up and fished the phone out of the chair.

I waited while he called the dealership, claiming to be sick. After he hung up, I crossed my arms.

“Won’t they know you’re just hungover? Youwereout with some of them last night, right?”

“Some.” He grinned at me, and I wanted to slap his face.

“Some of them. And whoever you’re fucking around on Liliana with?” I picked up the glass and bottle, then I put them back down. He could clean up his own fucking mess.

“I didn’t say that,” Julian said, but his tone was so smug, I knew I was right.

“No, but Liliana did,” I said, waiting while that sank in.

Julian slowly blinked at me. “What?”

“She came here yesterday evening. Brought you some chicken soup since you told her you were sick and needed to rest.”

Julian jumped up. “And you fucking told her I was cheating?”

“I didn’t have to. She figured it out on her own.” I wiped my hands down my face, tired of Julian’s bullshit. “Damn it, Julian. We’ve been through this. Get your shit together. Lay off the drinking and partying. Figure out what the hell you want in life.”

He plopped down on the couch again and reached for the bottle. Before he could take a drink, I snatched it out of his hands. He grabbed for it, and when I stepped away, he threw his hands up.

“Ihadfigured out what I wanted. Liliana. But she said no, remember?” He let his head drop back onto the couch.

I went into the kitchen to dump out the bottle into the sink.

Julian followed me in. “Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? How humiliating?”

I sighed and leaned against the counter, staring into Julian’s eyes. “No, brother. I don’t. I’m sorry that you were embarrassed. But do you think it’s been a fucking cakewalk for her?”

Julian blinked like he’d never considered how Liliana felt before. Only a few seconds passed before he pointed at me.

“Don’t turn this around on me. I’m the one who got humiliated, not her.”

“And you’ve been making her sorry for it ever since, huh?” I slammed the empty bottle on the counter. “Drinking, drugging, fucking around. While she’s feeling bad about everything and cooking for you while you’re sick. Hope you’re proud of yourself.”

“God damn it,” Julian growled. For a minute, I thought he was going to launch himself at me to tackle me. If he hadn’t been so hungover, he might have. “You fucking told her. Iknowyou did.”

“Julian, I didn’t. But Liliana’s not stupid.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said through his teeth.

While I was putting things in my bag, he followed me from place to place.

Finally, he cleared his throat. “What did she say?”

“That she’s not surprised.” I shoved a light jacket into my backpack.

“She knew? And you didn’t deny it?” He was like a puppy on my heels, so I spun.

“I wouldn’t have denied it, but I didn’t get the chance to. Before I could say anything, she broke down, crying about your sorry ass.” I pushed past him to get some ibuprofen out of my bedroom.

“You might have well as told her then!” he accused.

“Julian, if she saw it in my face, maybe it’s because I was in the kitchen when a woman tried to sneak out of here yesterday morning with bed hair and her shirt on backwards. I can’t helpknowingthe truth when you did such a shitty job of hiding it!”

I stopped in the kitchen doorway, wanting to punch a wall because I was so frustrated at the entire conversation. The whole fucking situation.

I should want them to be happy together.

But I didn’t. I wanted them to break up.

That was the truth, as messed up as it was.

“I’m going to take that soup with me. I knew you wouldn’t be in soon enough, so I put it away after she left. Tasted it first.”

Julian’s eyes went wild. “You tasted her soup?Mysoup?”

I opened the fridge door, and he slammed it shut.

“Yeah, I did. It was fucking delicious.” He was lucky that was the only thing I tasted.

“She made it for me,” he growled through his gritted teeth. “I’m going to have it for lunch.”

“You don’t even like chicken soup.” I opened the fridge again, and he slammed it hard enough that two magnets jumped off the door.

“I don’t. But you’re sure as hell not getting it.” He glared and held the door shut.

“Do you have any idea how stupid you sound right now?” I asked. I yanked the door open, which pushed Julian back a couple of feet, and pulled the container out. “There’s no point in it going to waste.”

Julian grabbed the container, but I held on. So he slapped down on it, causing it to crash to the floor. “She made it for me. Not. You.”

I slammed the fridge door shut. “Fine. Waste it. Just like you wasted your chance with her by being a fuck-up.”

“Maybe I am a fuck-up,” he shouted. “But at least I never tried to ruin any of your relationships.”

“Julian, for the last God damn time,” I said, pausing at the kitchen door. “I didn’t try to ruin your relationship. You did that all yourself.”

If only he knew how hard I’d had to fight to keep myself from ruining it. My efforts to stay away from Liliana had been painful and difficult.

It was almost damned heroic as far as I was concerned. Because I’d never wanted any woman the way I wanted her.

I couldn’t say any of that to him. And if I could, he probably wouldn’t believe me anyway.

“We were trying so hard to make things work,” Julian practically wailed. “And you couldn’t have my back this one time.”

That was it. I couldn’t listen to any more of his bullshit.

“She was trying to make it work. You were drinking and fucking around. And I had your back, Julian. More than you will ever fucking know or appreciate. Believe it or not. Right now, I couldn’t care less.”

“Misery loves company, Alistair. I know it sucks getting divorced, but you didn’t have to ruin my—”

“Shut the fuck up right now before you say something you can’t take back.” I stormed out and threw my backpack into the car.

Julian followed me. “You ruin everything, Alistair. Everything.”

I got into the car and spoke to him through my open window. “You’re still drunk. Go back to fucking bed.”

I drove away, trying hard not to take it personally. He probably did still have alcohol coursing through his system. But that was no excuse. He was just lashing out because he knew Liliana was probably going to be done with him.

But we weren’t going to be able to deal with it until he was sober and rested.

I called Benedict to let him know I'd be a few minutes late but was en route. Then I pounded my hands on the steering wheel until my palms throbbed.

All I wanted was to turn around, pack up, and leave. But I knew Julian well enough to understand that would be the worst possible choice. I had to stay, for his sake.

Taking a deep breath, I refocused on the tasks awaiting me at the brewery. Whatever needed to be addressed would have to wait until later that evening.

My only hope was that Julian wouldn't say anything foolish to Liliana, worsening the pain she was already feeling.