8

Alistair

The lights began to flicker, threatening to go out.

"I didn’t think Oregon had tornadoes," Liliana said, glancing at the lights.

"Maybe a few a year? This probably isn’t one, just a storm." Liliana seemed worried. "Don’t be nervous. We’ll be okay."

I patted her hand, which was a mistake. I reminded myself not to touch her, knowing it only made me want to touch her more.

"I’m sorry he left you stranded like that," I said. "Makes me want to kick his ass when he wakes up."

"Makes me want that too," she chuckled softly, then looked down at her hands. "As long as he’s safe. I was getting worried."

"He’s safe at home," I reassured her, squeezing her hand. There I went again, putting my hand on hers.

"I’ve noticed he’s been going out more than usual," Liliana said.

"Yeah, I’ve noticed that too."

"Do you think everything’s okay with him?" she asked, concern filling her eyes.

"I don’t know," I answered honestly, shaking my head. "I hope so. He’s been doing really well for a while now."

I wondered how much she knew about Julian’s history with addiction.

"It hasn’t been easy for him growing up without our parents."

She looked down, nodding. "He doesn’t talk about them. But I know it’s been hard for him."

"Julian was only three when Mom died," I began.

Liliana gave me a sympathetic look. "I’m so sorry," she said.

“I remember the day our parents told me mom's cancer returned. Mom fought hard but eventually…" I trailed off. "Dad did his best to raise two rowdy boys. He was always working, doing the best he could for us."

Liliana stayed silent, listening intently.

I took a shaky breath. "Then Dad got in a car accident. He was gone by the time help arrived.”

Liliana reached over and squeezed my hand.

“It sent Julian over the edge. He started acting out, getting into trouble. I tried to keep him on the straight and narrow after I dropped out of college. But I was working all the time at Grandpa's bar. I didn't see what was happening to Julian. He fell in with the wrong crowd. Started getting into alcohol and drugs."

Liliana took my hand. "You did the best you could."

I shook my head. "Maybe, but it wasn't enough. I feel like I failed Julian.”

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Liliana said gently. "And he turned out okay. He’s doing better now, right?”

I sighed. "Yeah, he was able to turn things around. It just worries me when I start seeing the same behavior again. I hope he has it under control."

Liliana nodded. "You're a good older brother. Julian is fortunate to have you."

"He's lucky to have you too," I murmured quietly.

Wishing it were me instead.

I cleared my throat. "Are things going okay with you guys?"

She blinked quickly, nodded, and swallowed hard. "Things have been a bit up and down, but that's normal, right? Julian’s a good guy."

"Yeah, he is. When he wants to be. Thanks for being patient with him, Liliana."

She straightened up, wrapping her arms around herself as she took a deep breath.

Liliana gave me a tight smile. "Enough about Julian. How have you been?"

"Busy," I admitted. "The divorce is nearly final if her lawyer would stop nitpicking everything. It’s been a nightmare, and I'm ready for it to be over."

"I can't even imagine," she said sympathetically. "It’s so sad when people split up, especially when they can’t be civil afterward."

"Oh, we're civil enough. She just has a lawyer who won't take no for an answer." I leaned my head back against the wall. "I'm not even angry at her anymore. I just want the whole thing behind me."

Liliana looked surprised, so I shrugged. "We got married too young. I was twenty-four, and she was only twenty-one. So when things started going downhill, I guess she wasn't mature enough to handle it. And she cheated. It hurt at first, but then I realized I didn't even care that much. It had been over in my heart for a long time anyway."

Liliana shook her head. "Wait, she cheated on you?"

"Go figure, right?"

I chuckled at her puzzled expression. There was a brief silence between us.

Then she sighed heavily and rested her head on my shoulder.

Liliana snapped her head up, as if she had done something wrong. "Sorry."

"It's okay. Rest. You look like you've had a long day." I held my breath until her temple touched my shoulder again.

"I am really tired. I’ve been taking extra shifts, trying to get through this last semester without going broke from student loans. I worked a double shift yesterday and another one this morning. I just need a good night’s sleep." She took a deep breath and relaxed against me a little more.

After a few minutes, Liliana’s breathing was deep and steady. She’d fallen asleep. I leaned my head against hers, inhaling the flowery scent of her hair.

Liliana stirred slightly, murmuring something softly. I instinctively put my arms around her and she nuzzled against my chest.

“I regret not calling you,” I whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear me. “Explaining the ring. I regret that so fucking much.”

Julian didn't deserve Liliana. And if I’d had any idea that he might treat her this way, I wouldn’t have held my tongue. I’d have made a move early on.

I should never have let the fact that he was my brother stand in my way.

Liliana’s phone vibrated. She opened her eyes and realized she’d fallen asleep on my shoulder.

She straightened with a deep sniff and looked at her phone. It chimed with a voicemail and she played it on speakerphone.

“Sorry about that, Liliana,” Julian said, slurring like he was still drunk. “I’ll leave right now and come get you.”

I quickly dialed Julian before he had a chance to do anything stupid. "I picked her up and I'm taking her home. Don't you dare get behind the wheel, Julian."

Julian argued but eventually gave in.

I listened intently and didn't hear the wind howling anymore, so I opened the storeroom door and made my way to the front counter. It was still raining and a bit windy, but the worst of the storm seemed to have passed.

Liliana turned towards me. "Thank you for coming to get me. And for being such a good support."

"I don't mind," I replied softly. "You clearly needed it."

"Here," she said, slipping out of my hoodie.

I pulled it back around her. "Keep it on."

I placed my hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. In that moment, I desperately wanted to kiss her, to tell her how I truly felt.

Thunder rumbled, which made it easier for me to step back.

"Let's get you home," I said, pulling the hood over her head.

As much as it hurt, I had to honor her relationship with Julian until she decided otherwise. Anything between us before that would feel like a betrayal I couldn't live with.

So for now, I could only cherish these stolen moments of closeness, even though Liliana was incredibly tempting.

Tonight, just being near her felt like enough.