Chapter 37 A Mother's Goodbye

As I sit down with the note in my hand, I feel somewhat defeated. The last couple of days have been by far the most exhilarating and some of the most frustrating moments of my life. They say that it is not wise to say 'What else can go wrong"; well, I can safely say that I shall never in my life again question the curveballs life throws at you.
So as my princess is standing in front of me, reaching out her hands, trying her best to take the edge off the pain that I am feeling, I have no control over the tears that trickle down my face. And as she says my name, the floodgates erupt, and I cry like a boy in her arms.
It feels like I leave my existence and hover above my body, and take in this tragedy unfolding in my heart. I feel detached from my body, from my emotions, but most of all, the part that sees reason. And as my sobs start to fade, my resolve becomes clearer. Someone shall pay for what has happened, and that man sits on the other end of the number I am dialing.
"Christian, we have been trying to get hold of you."
"I need you to come home."
"Please just talk to Joseph and tell him everything is going to be okay, that you just overreacted."
"I don't give a fück about Joseph; I need you to come home."
"Christian, what about Cassandra?"
"Father, I said get your fucking ass home. Now!"
And with that thought, I leave him and drop the call. Cassandra once again pulls me into her arms. I will not lie; I have never felt so safe as I feel now.
"Princess, please go pack some of our stuff; I do not want to sleep another night in this house, ever again."
"But where are we going to stay?"
"Don't worry about that; I don't want you to see this."
"Christian, what are you going to do?"
"Princess, he is my father; I won't kill him."
But somehow, that does not give her much assurance as she makes the way to my room in rather massive strides. And not a minute too soon for my dear father has entered through the front door. He comes rushing into the kitchen, demanding answers.
"What is the meaning of this? You need to withdraw your claim and let Cassandra return home."
I rise from my chair, and in as little as two steps, I am right in his face. It only takes me a fraction of a second to decide what I am going to do next. I crunch my right hand into a fist, I draw my arm back, and I smash my knuckles into his face, his head snaps to the side, and he stumbles back. I casually go back to my chair and continue to sip on my whiskey. Then I continue talking to him as if nothing happened.
"I do not have to do anything, father. I am the head of this family, and I would appreciate that everyone understands that, and if they don't, well, I need to shoot something again."
"What the fuck was that for? What has gotten into you?"
I toss the note that my mother left on the counter; he looks at me somewhat confused as he starts to read it.
"I cannot hear you. I want you to read that out loud."
"Christian, this is absurd."
"It would be absurd if I put my gun to your head while you read it."
"You are acting like a child."
"Read the note, father."
I hear as he clears his throat, he knows it is my mother's handwriting and her that wrote this. But the note is not addressed to him, but me instead.
"Christian, Please believe me that I feel terrible for doing this. But I cannot do it anymore; he is a liar and a fucking cheat. I cannot stand being under the same roof as him anymore. I have put up with his shit for years because you and Lucy needed a mother and a father, but your kids are grown now; there is no reason to stay with this man. I am sorry. You know that it will be pointless to look for me. I have learned from the best. I will phone you when I am ready. Love Mom."
I watch as he sits there wordless; I am not sure if he is sad or because he got caught out again. Fück I did not even see that his lousy ass was cheating on my mother; I am a goddamn playboy; I should know these things. But yet he stands there, not a word, not even a sorry. I do not even think it is worth saying another word to him. I am done with Foster Caine; it is time for me to leave home.
"Father, so that you know, I will be leaving tonight."
"What do you mean leaving?"
"I am moving out."
"Where are you going?"
"Not your concern."
...Cassandra POV...
As I am sitting and waiting for Christian in his room, I can hear as he and his dad are having a full-blown out argument. I saw that crushed look on his face when he read that heartbreaking note. He might have looked up to his father, but his mother has been his rock. The one that let him be whoever he wanted to be. He could run to her to cry and let her share in his joy. He lost a big part of his life and a massive piece of his heart today. He is going to hurt for some time to come.
And as I see him open that door, it crushes my heart to pieces. His shoulders are slump, with his head hanging down to the floor. I can see his hands are trembling, and his knuckles are red; he must have hit his dad. The Christian Caine I know would not have done it; this is a broken man. I don't know where his pieces are to put him back together again. But as his eyes meet my concerned face, he forms the weakest of smiles around his lips. At least he is trying, but I don't want him to pretend.
"Hey."
I pull his body that is shivering from pain, into my embrace. I wrap my arms around him for as much as his broad shoulders will allow. I nestle my head deep into his chest. His breathing hitches as he softly sobs. He so desperately wants to let go, but he is supposed o be a man. Men don't cry, least of all a powerful Mafia Boss. He feels like a boy that is hiding in the corner, too scared to come out.
And as I lead him to the bed just for a moment, I let him lay his head down on my lap. I want him to break down; he must let it all out. When we leave, the pain will still be there, but he would have done the crying he would have never done by himself. So I whisper to him.
"Baby, let it out; it is just you and me. I need you to cry your heart out, it won't heal it, but it will make it a little bit better than before."
"Princess, I can't."
"You don't need to try and be strong in front of me. Fall apart; I am here to pick you up."
Then they burst right by their banks; the tears drench his face and make little pools of water on my legs. And he grabs onto my hands as if more than both our lives depended on it. He cries, then he sobs, then he lets go of whatever pain his body will allow him today. It breaks my heart to see him like this, and it takes a lot from me not to cry with him. What good would I be then? It is not the man that should be strong, but it is the woman that carries him.
And here we sit for at least the better part of the hour; I think at some point, he even drifted off into sleep. But not once did I let go. He has been there for me in every high and every low for these last few days, and if this is what it took to repay him, I shall let him do this every night until his mom returns. I know Christian will not be whole until then. I need to step up and be the woman by his side; I hope that I am worthy.
...Christian POV...
Today I have cried, and I know it will not be the last day either. But I can either get crippled by another selfish man's actions, or I can rise and be a better version of him, of myself. Foster Caine's legacy died when my fist connected with his face. It is not my proudest moment, but if it gives him even an ounce of the pain my mother is feeling, then I shall do it again.
And it is with a broken heart but a new resolve that I shall become what I am setting out to do with this woman that has been holding me without even blinking, for she fears that might make my pain worse.
But this all said I have a burning question for her.
"Princes."
"Yes, Christian?"
"Did you call me, baby?"
"I believed I did. I am sorry, I know it is cheesy, it did not think Mr. Caine would be appropriate, neither was tiger, and I am not good with these things."
I stop her before she can even mumble another word.
"Baby is fine; I like baby, we can change it, but I like it."
I go off to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. In little less than an hour, we got everything packed that we needed, and we are heading downstairs with suitcases in hand. But as we pass the lounge, I see him sitting there in the dark. He is rotting in his self-pity; he only but stares and does not say a word. I guess he never saw the day that both his wife and his son would leave him. Well, I never saw this day too.
And as we pull out of the driveway, I turn to my princess with a real smile on my face.
"Can I show you your surprise now?"
"God, Christian, I don't know how more action I can take for today."
"Princess, I promise this is going to be the best part of both our days. But it would help if you closed your eyes when I tell you too; otherwise, it is not a surprise."
"This better be good baby, don't know what can top this day."
I chuckle as we slowly find our way through the streets and houses, following the directions that my mom sent to my phone earlier today. My mom was supposed to have come with us, which makes my heart sting all over again. But I push it to the back of my mind as we get closer to our destination.
"Princess, close your eyes."
She reluctantly closes her eyes but keeps on peeking and giggles every time I catch her doing so. She seems not to understand what surprise and do not peek means. I don't know if I am laughing harder at how cute she looks or giggling at the top of her tone.
Then finally, after getting her, well, I might have tied a tie around her eyes; we find our destination on the left. A few twists and turns, and we finally come to a stop. I jump out and run around to help her out of the car. That part that fears rejection swallows hard on my ego, and I pull the tie from her eyes.
"Oh my god, Christian! Is this..."
"It is yours."