Chapter 49 Like A Moth To A Flame

I nearly lost myself in Cassandra again. I am supposed to be furious at her, but yet I cannot keep my hands off her. I don t know whom we are both trying to fool, we are meant to be, it is time we stop our foolishness.
But if I thought her foolishness would not get any worse, I am bound to witness how she pulls a chair onto the stage, now this is something that she has never done before, but she has pulled what could possibly one of the most attractive men in this place at present onto the stage. Now if that was not enough, she is grinding that perfect pear-shaped ass into his groin for me to see. And god, what is even worse is the damn fuck is loving every minute of it. I can, from where I am sitting, hear how he is moaning and she, she is only but smiling.
Now I don t know if she wants me to lose it again, does she want to prove a point that I cannot control my temper? Well, I am going to show her that her actions are not affecting me. So, as hard as it is, I casually take my whiskey and turn a complete blind eye to this erotic show she is giving to a room full of assholes that is only but cheering. She has me, she has got me, but not exactly where she wants me to be. She will not see me fall apart again. She will not make me crumble to my knees.
And knees, well they soon carry me back to the office, for now, the little vixen has wrapped her legs around his waist and has flung her body back. He can see every inch of her, every inch that I have touched, every inch lay bare for him to see. What I thought was just for me, has now just become a public display.
So as I make my way up to the office, I bump into Josh, now he already looks nervous for he knows exactly why I am leaving the floor. "Josh, when Cassandra is finished selling her body like that, I would like a word with her in my office."
With that I make my way to that very chair that I ran to when I tried to get away from her, and just as before, I cannot help but look at her. She still draws me, she is my obsession and I am losing control. Is that what our relationship has come to? All we do is try and hurt each other the best way that we can, and hurt is exactly what she is doing as she runs her lips past the asshole's cheeks. And that is me.
But what is me too, is Christin Caine. Before I met Cassandra, I could not keep a woman on my arm for much longer than a week at the most. It was not that I did not desire a relationship, I was simply just not capable of commitment in any way or form. Now give me the power of being the most feared man in the state and beyond, then I could gladly commit beyond compare. But put a beautiful woman on my arm and tell me to desire the one thing I did not know to have, then I failed spectacularly.
But all I can say with much certainty is that I have not been able to control my emotions, let alone my business since I met Cassandra. I have neglected to stay focus long enough to do the simplest of tasks. My attention is required as a matter of point at all times, if I should ever let my eye wander or my fingers slip, it can possibly be the end of the Caine Crime Family.
So it is with great sadness that I now take my eyes from the dance floor and turn my attention to Mason that has now joined me in the office.
"Christian, Cassandra is going to be the death of you."
?"Well, thank you for stating the obvious, but I do wish that she can prove both of us wrong."
He hands me a whiskey and shifts closer to me. As I take a deep sip of the cold whiskey from the chilled glass, I thorough my brows and pinch the bridge of my nose at the mere thought of losing her completely.
I only bud nod my head, he does speak the valid truth and even though I do not want to admit it to myself, I know that sooner or later I need to realize that maybe, even though we should be together, that we are just doomed.
And doomed is her knocking on the door for the second time tonight.
With one confident smile on my face, I show for her to come into the office while Mason leaves.
"Come sit Cassandra."
I watch as she sways those hips with an agonizingly slow pace from side to side. But that does not stop there, she has that tight red dress, with those goddamn red stilettos on. For a brief moment, I close my eyes and imagine myself laying my hands on that perfect pear-shaped ass. God, I love the rush of the tingles of pleasure that my eyes bring whenever I lay them on her.
And fuck, laying them on her now is earning me a rather aching throb in my pants which I have no desire to even hide at the present moment. Her body is on fucking fire.
This woman should be mine.
Taking one rather trembling breath, I turn my full attention to her.
"Cassandra, do you not think that your show was a bit inappropriate. The only thing it lacked was you having sex with the guy."
"Well, Christian, this is a strip club, and I am a stripper."
"You are not a stripper, don t ever say that."
"Well, I do take my close off for men."
"I wish you…" For the second time tonight, I swallow my words. She will not see me fall. "Well, I am sorry to say this to you, but I do not want that to happen in my club."
"What do you want me to do? Have a tea party?"
"No, I expect you to do your job and with that respect yourself."
I watch as she grinds into her teeth, and folds her arms in front of her with a loud huff. She is acting like, in fact, I don t know who she is or what she is trying to be.
So not thinking much of it, I walk around the table to be closer to her. Why? I do not know. But she cannot see my desperation, she cannot see this battle that I am fighting with myself.
Then with absolute raw desire, I pull her from the chair and grab that damn peachy ass and pull every inch of her toned body into mine until we melt into each other. I hear her gasp as she prepares to push me away, but as she leans into me, she catches a hint of my cologne and eases into me. But I am as always sadly mistaken for next she pushes me away and snaps at me.
"Well Mr. Caine, I see you are throwing yourself at me again."
"I have not even started yet princess."
"I do believe my name is Cassandra."
"Still makes you my princess, now please stop this bullshit. You are not a stripper and you don t deserve to be in here."
"Then where do I deserve to be Christian?"
"With me."
I grab hold of her waist once again and pull her deep against the tightness of my body. And there it is, that scent that she carries so well. I take a lock of her hair and twirl it around my finger, yet another scent to pleasure all my senses.
I nip at my bottom lip and slowly whisper, "Cassandra, I love you."
"That is a little bit too late, don t you think?"
I love every single rejection that she throws in my path; it only fuels my determination. A determination that gently nudges her chin between my fingers.
Slowly with each breath, with each inch of a second, I pull her deep cherry lips closer to mine. She splays her hand against my chest, intending to push me away again, but she lets it rest against my pounding heart. As she studies my eyes, I reflect into hers; there are so many emotions swirling around in them.
Then, I claim her lips in a gentle touch, nothing but my lips resting on hers. Just before I pull away, I nibble at her bottom lip. I feel as her body trembles. I have achieved what I have intended.
"Please Cassandra, please just come back home?"
She takes a few hesitating moments before she catches her breath, "As I said before, that I want nothing to do with you."
"Princess, come on."
"I am not your princess."
Just then, she steps back and leaves my body cold. I reach out to pull her close; I want to feel the raging fire between us. She is about to make an elegant exit.
And then she is gone.
I rush after her in absolute haste. I catch up to her just as she is about to enter the dressing room. "Please stop running away from me."
"What? You want me to run into your arms? You are Christian Caine, you can get any woman you want."
"Come on, that is not fair."
"Then do explain to me, how was it that you had a different woman on your arm every night and now you want to tell me that you want to commit."
"Cassandra, that is different. It is lonely and fills a gap in your life for only but a few minutes."
"Yes, so any woman that finds herself in your presence is bound to have her heartbroken."
"Please," I reach out my arm, trying to pull her back into that moment that we just shared. "You know there is something different between us. It is something that keeps drawing me back to you, like a moth to a flame. I stand a better chance to get broken."
"You are so full of yourself, Christian. Do you for one minute think I believe those sweet words that come from your mouth. You live for danger; you live to conquer. Well, you are not climbing this mountain, not again."
"Then do answer this, why have you not pushed me away. Every time I have come to you, you are just as drawn to this danger that I present."
"Maybe I too like playing games. See, my heart has been scorned far too many times. Men like you are the reason why a woman like me do not want commitment."
Then I feel that sting, that suffocating grip on my heart. It feels as if there is no air flowing to my lungs. This is what it feels like to get rejected, to be pushed away, and it fucking hurts.
Feeling somewhat defeated, I turn to leave. I know that only for now, only for this moment, I will back away. Come tomorrow night, I will try again, and if I do not succeed, I shall keep on trying. Yes, I am a moth to a flame, a moth that is going to get burned and, by all means, burn me over and over again.