Chapter 12

Grandpa Eli’s study was always well organized and neat. Jo could remember seeing him sitting in here reading when she was younger, after he’d retired, and they’d moved to escape the chaos in the US. She couldn’t imagine he used it for much of anything these days since his memory had gotten so bad. When she followed her dad into the room, it was evident Aaron had done some unnecessary straightening and that all of his own belongings on the desk were in precisely the spot he wanted them in. Jo almost laughed--some things never changed--but enough things did change that it wasn’t funny anymore, and she felt silly for evening forgetting for a second how the world was all messed up now.
Her dad didn’t go around the desk and sit in the plush swivel chair on the other side. Instead, he took a seat on the small leather sofa her grandpa had over by the window. Grandpa Eli had said the room needed more seating so he could have visitors, and Grandma had laughed, but Jo had spent time in here reading when she was younger, and she thought Cadon had, too. The smell of the leather, the dark wood of the desk and bookshelves, and the warm earth tones had a calming effect. In here, curled up with a good book, it was almost possible to let the inner conflict go for a few moments. Almost.
Jo settled into the far corner of the couch, moving a faux fur pillow aside, and trying to put some distance between herself and her father, as if that might somehow make this situation more comfortable. She knew it wouldn’t.
Aaron didn’t say anything at first, only studied her for a second, and Jo feared he might comment on how much she looked like her mom again. What was once a compliment now stabbed her in the chest every time she heard it. He didn’t do that either, though, only gave her a moment and then asked, “How much did Elliott tell you?”
It wasn’t the question she was expecting. She cleared her throat and thought about it a moment. “He said you saw Holland in Russia, that you were sure it was her, and that you guys think we need to bring her in alive.” She shrugged, ending it there. She didn’t want to mention her mom if she could avoid it.
It couldn’t be avoided. “I’d like to find out what Holland knows, if we can catch her. She has to be at the root of all of this. There really isn’t any other explanation.”
Jo didn’t disagree with that idea, even though she did think there were some plausible other ways all of this could’ve come about. “If she is at the center of it, it will be nearly impossible to bring her in alive. She’s got to have a legion of Vampires guarding her.”
“I’m sure she does.”
“And why hasn’t she done anything if she’s been back this whole time? All of these Vampires taking over countries, and she’s just sitting quietly, biding her time? That’s not her MO.”
“You’re right--it’s not. But Daunator tried to caution her last time that she was moving too quickly. Maybe she’s finally taken his words to heart. Not that she has one….”
“Or maybe… she just came out of the portal.”
He shook his head. “Christian went back in years ago, and she wasn’t in there.”
“Isn’t it a huge, dark labyrinth? And isn’t he a moron?”
She could tell he was trying not to laugh at her last comment. “He went in prepared, Jo. And while some of his decisions over the years have been questionable, he’s actually a genius.”
“An evil genius.”
“Listen, Jo, I need your help with this.” He scooted a little closer to her, leaning forward to make sure he had her attention. “I know how you feel about the portals. I get it, I really do. But I’m not ready to give that up. Not yet.”
She swallowed a lump in her throat, praying she didn’t get emotional. Yelling at him again wasn’t going to happen, but she didn’t want to cry either. “Will you ever be?”
Aaron shrugged. “I have as much time as I need. May as well make the most of it.”
“Dad… I know you don’t want to hear it, and I promise not to shout it at you this time….” The tears were in her eyes now, and no matter how hard she fought them, she knew they were going to roll down her cheeks. “She’s gone. I was there. I ran across that field… I saw the blood. It led to the road, and then… nothing. Whoever took her, they didn’t put her in a portal. Dad, Mom is dead.”
Over the years, it hadn’t gotten any easier to say those words, but when she said them now, she put everything she had into it. She knew what she’d seen, what she’d experienced, what she’d heard. There was no way her mom was still alive.
“Jo, do you remember when you were three or four how you would get up really early in the morning and wander into the kitchen?”
Her eyebrows knit together as she considered where he was going with this. “Sort of.”
“I was awake, of course, so I’d leave my study and come and see what you were up to. Cadon was a sleeper back then, and of course, Mom would sleep until noon if we let her. But you’d be up at the crack of dawn. That was a special time for me, getting to spend the mornings with you. You’d climb up on one of the barstools and request a bowl of wooloos.”
“Wooloos?” Jo repeated, a grin at her own expense taking over her face, despite the tears that were running down her cheeks now. “What are wooloos?”
“I wondered the same thing the first time you said it. But I figured it out eventually. ‘Wooloos, Daddy. I want wooloos,’ you’d say and point at the pantry. Four boxes of cereal later, I figured out wooloos were Fruit Loops.”
She giggled for the first time in a long time. “I don’t remember that.”
“I do. And I’m glad that I do.” He looked down for a moment, and she thought maybe he was having the same emotional struggle that she was. “Jo, you and I have always been close. Nothing could change that. I know how you feel about what I’m doing. I know what you think happened, and I can respect that. I just need you to let me do this, okay? And in the meantime, I need you to work with your brother and the others to take Holland in. Alive. If I’m wrong, maybe I’ll discover that on my own eventually. In the meantime, let’s just pretend I’m right, okay?”
The tears wouldn’t stop coming now, so Jo let them roll off her chin as she saw the strong, indestructible dad she’d always known fade away and the vulnerable man who missed his other half more than anything reveal himself temporarily. She nodded. “Okay. “
“Thanks.” He took a deep breath and leaned over, and Jo fell into his arms, refusing to bawl like the little girl he just described might have, but it was nice to be back in his embrace.
Aaron held her for a few moments before they both let each other go, and she wiped at her face, hoping she didn’t have tear streaks if they were about to have a meeting. But she had one more thing she needed to say. “Look, Dad… last time we talked, I said some things.”
“Jo, that’s not necessary,” he said waving her off. “It’s fine. It’s over.”
“No, no it’s not. Listen, Dad, I’m sorry. I never should’ve said….”
“Jo, it’s okay.” She looked into his eyes and saw that he meant it .”It’s all right. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s okay.”
“But… I need you to forgive me.”
Brushing away a stray tear from her cheek, he smiled, and with tears in his eyes, he assured her, “I already have, Jo. The moment you said it, I knew you didn’t mean it. You’ll always be my little girl, okay?”
No longer able to keep her tears inside, Jo felt her body start to shake. She covered her face, and he pulled her into his arms again, patting her back and trying to calm her the way he had when she was little and fell or broke a toy. For a few moments, Jo let herself be that little girl again, let herself feel safe in her daddy’s arms. She needed that, if only just for a few moments, because it was clear the fight ahead would be a tough one, and even if they gave it everything they had, she had no idea if they could capture Holland.
She was sure of one thing though. Her dad would never find her mom. Because Cadence Findley McReynolds was dead. Jo was sure of it.