CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

'Astra, I am coming to town for Sarah and Jared's engagement dinner party, but I will go straight to the Nicholas' house. I hope you will be there," Yvonne said over the phone. Yvonne had moved back home after Astra made peace with her parents. She was hardly ever alone as either Charise or her mother or even her father were around to keep her company and help her out. Astra was already five months along, and she had not seen Nicholas in a while. He had been getting either Sarah or one of his guards to take Brian for the weekend. Astra had been avoiding him, and going for the engagement dinner in his house will only spoil her plans.
'I am not going. Why do they even have to do their engagement dinner in Nicholas' house?" Astra asked. It made no sense. It was not like Nicholas was the one getting engaged or anything. Since it was in his house, there was no way Astra could avoid it.
'It is their choice, and from what I heard, Nicholas volunteered his place, he is the one throwing them the party. It is a gift for his cousin it seems. And Astra, you cannot run away from Nicholas forever. From what I am seeing, he is giving you space now, when he is ready, you won't even have the chance to refuse him. You are carrying his child Astra, sooner or later you both will have to talk," Yvonne said and Astra sighed. Stephanie had told her about Sarah's and Jared's engagement party, and she had been surprised then. She did not even know they were dating before, she was very happy for the both of them though, they deserved happiness. Astra had not been fair to Jared. She did not love him, he needed someone that would love him, and someone was Sarah. Astra was glad that he found her.
Astra thought about what Yvonne said. She was only avoiding Nicholas because she wanted to fall out of love. She did not want to cause him any more pain. Too many things had stopped them from being together and so she was sure that they were not even meant to be in the first place. They had just been defying fate. Astra knew that she could not avoid him forever, but she was going to avoid him for as long as she could, but that was not for so long. She had to see him soon.
'I don't know Yvonne. I do not want to go back to him," Astra told her cousin.
'Why not? I know that you love him, and he is the father of your children," Yvonne said and Astra sighed.
'That is not enough, we are not good together Yvonne," Astra said. She knew that her cousin will argue with her so she continued before she could answer.
'I will go for the party though, it will be for the best. I cannot erase Nicholas from my life because we share children," Astra said.
'You really need to think this through," Yvonne advised. Astra had already thought about it, she discussed it with her therapist, which almost seemed like she was talking with herself. Astra liked the lady because she made her find her answers on her own. She talked about their personality differences and also about how rushed their relationship was, how they did not get to experience many things together before they got married. How so many questions they did not get to answer before they were bound together. She talked about the lack of trust and how Ray built upon that to destroy their marriage. She talked about all of these with her therapist, and she said that she still wanted to be with Nicholas, regardless. But she also knew that it was not the best of others.
Her therapist only said that her own happiness should be her priority. Astra knew that she could not be happy when Nicholas was in pain or when he was going through something for her sake.
'I will be at the dinner," Astra said again.
The party was in a few hours so she had to get dressed and start going to Nicholas' place. Brian was there as he was with his father for the weekend. Astra did not think that Nicholas would still want Brian over for the weekend since he would be busy with the engagement dinner and all, but his body guard had knocked on her door and Brian and run to him. Astra figured that Brian would also be at the dinner. That would be nice.
Astra picked a green gown that flared under her breasts. Those were the the that she was wearing. Astra was not as big as the time when she had the twins, but she was still big for five months. She styled her hair in an easy style and then did a bit of makeup. She was ready for the dinner.
Astra left her house and drove down to Nicholas' place. It was a very familiar route. Apart from the fact that she had stayed in the house a little more than five years ago, she remembered how she would suddenly feel the need to see Nicholas even when she still thought that he had divorced her for no good reason, she still loved him.
Astra drove down and parked in front of his house. She could see several cars parked in front of the house. The dinner was probably going to be a big one. With any luck, she would not have to communicate with Nicholas.
Astra came down from her car, and rang the doorbell. The opened and she was faced with Nicholas. He looked a little flushed. That was luck down the drain.
'Astra," Nicholas said. He looked surprised to see her, his eyes went down to her stomach and they grew huge. He had not seen her since her bump began to show so it was expected that he was quite astonished by the size of her stomach.
'Nicholas," she said, trying to sound standoffish she did not want him to know that she had missed him, that it was only the face of his son that kept her from crying, that when she threw up she wanted him to be behind her rubbing her back, but she was so scared of what the consequences would be.
'Please come in," Nicholas said after looking at her for too long and ushered her in. He helped her with her coat and held her hand to the dining table, he then drew out her chair so that she could sit. Astra could feel so many eyes on from the moment she stepped into the house. She knew that many were surprised to see her since she had not been in contact with anyone since the issue.
'Good evening, everyone," Astra said with a smile. She saw Nicholas' mother and gave her an awkward smile. There were never best of friends. Astra saw Stephanie and Yvonne and her smile broadened. She then saw Sarah and Jared looking at each other with pure love.
'Congratulations guys," Astra said with a smile. She was truly happy for both of them, to think that she was using Jared to make Nicholas jealous at a point and Nicholas was using Sarah to make her jealous too and now the both of them were together and Nicholas and her were still lost in love.
Astra looked around and she saw an older couple that could only be Jared's mother and father, she also saw some unfamiliar faces, but she guessed they were Jared's sisters. The dinner was already on going and they was laughter and drink in great supply. The conversation was beautiful and everyone seemed to be so happy. It had been so long that Astra had been in a crowd that it startled her at first.
'Let us a make a toast, to Sarah and Jared, for more years together," Nicholas said, standing up with his glass. He was seated across her and she had been exchanging glances with him all night. They really had a lot to talk about.
Everyone raised their glasses in agreement with Nicholas.
'To Sarah and Jared, for more years together," everyone said and clinked their glasses. Astra took her glass of water and drank it.
The dinner was over but people were still talking together. Astra looked at the couple and saw how much in love they were in. She remembered thinking it was too fast and too early for them to get married at first. They barely just met each other and Jared did say he was in love with her not too long ago, but then she looked at them and it seemed like love was enough.
Looking at them made Astra long for more, for companionship, for a full family, for what she had with Nicholas before. Maybe she was being too scared, and maybe it was time that she stopped being scared and just faced what was in front of her.
'Astra," Nicholas said. He was behind her seat. It was as though he was reading her mind.
'Nicholas," Astra replied, she stood up and looked at him.
'We need to talk, please let's go outside," Nicholas said and Astra nodded. She took his hand as they went outside his house. Some of the guests were already taking their leave and some were talking with Sarah and Jared.
They walked around his compound. There was a garden, and enough space to have a walk at night, it was one of the things that she enjoyed about Nicholas' house. She had thought it was too extravagant at first, but then with time the house had grown on her. The owner had grown on her too. She was crazily in love with Nicholas at first, and for some time she thought that the love will die, but the love grew on her, she loved him more than the first day, their love seemed to increase over time.
Astra and Nicholas walked around the garden in silence. It was enough for the moment, to just walk and hold each other's hands.
'Astra. I have something to tell you," Nicholas said after a while. Astra dreaded those words and she hoped that they could continue to walk in silence, but she nodded, she would have to hear what he wanted to say.
'Astra I want to get back with you. I want us to be together again like we were during the beginning. I want us to grow old together with our children by our side, and even when they grow up and start their own lives, I still want them to be together," Nicholas said. He was not looking at her, he was looking forward and they were still working. Astra looked at his face, but he refused to face her, she could guess that he was afraid of her answer.
'I don't know Nicholas," Astra said, and Nicholas looked at her then.
'You do not have to answer. You do not have to say anything at all. We can just take each day as it comes, we can start from now. I am not asking you to marry me again, even if I really want you to, i am asking that we start again, that a fresh beginning is what we need, I am asking you that we should start being friends again, that we should get to know each other again, and then if you want we can get to date again, and take each step with you by my side," Nicholas said. His voice sounded so sincere that Astra felt her heart ache. Tears began to fall from her eyes because she was not sure how to react.
'Don't cry Astra," Nicholas told her, he then wiped the tears from her eyes.
'It is the hormones, it's the baby, that is why I am crying," Astra said and Nicholas nodded before hugging her.
'I am so scared Nicholas, I am scared that we are not meant to be with each other, but I want to try, I want to try and be with you," Astra said and Nicholas hugged her tighter.