Chapter 53: CEMENTING RELATIONSHIPS

"Isa, I'm in the midst of making an important life decision and I have no family to discuss my relationship goals with. You're experienced, a mutual friend of us both- Calvin and mine. So help me with your expertise on this subject," Hazel pleaded.
"Fine, let me help you reach a conclusion all by yourself. See, many of us don"t date for long-term viability. I call this pursuing The Prom Date," Isabelle coached while sipping coffee with snacks. "So before I venture into the topic further, tell me what"s an ideal prom date in your opinion ?" Isabelle questioned.
"Someone who looks great in pictures, gives you a night full of fun, and makes you look cool in front of your friends," Hazel replied.
"Yup ! Many of us finished high school more than a decade ago, and yet we"re still using the same rubric to evaluate potential partners," Isabelle commented.
"I understand, there are many people with whom we can share a tryst but far fewer with whom we can build a life," Hazel replied and Isabelle nodded before she put down her cup.
"Yes ! So when you"re thinking about who to marry, don"t ask yourself: What would a love story with this person look like? Instead, ask: Can I make a life with this person? That"s the fundamental distinction," Isabelle shared her experience. "You have been on a date with him a few times now, so you're a better judge. I feel your insight for moving ahead with this relationship is right !" she adjudged as she encouraged her to go with her gut feeling.
"I didn't believe in love at first sight until that evening, when his eyes met mine at the birthday party, and I thought, 'Huh ! So that is the father of my unborn children'," Hazel honestly revealed.
"By the way, the exact same thing ran through Calvin's head as he confessed his feelings for you in front of Kenji and me, after the party," Isabelle disclosed.
"It felt weird that we were catching up like two long lost best friends just talking about our aspirations and our childhoods in our first meeting," Hazel said.
"We all could see that you treated each other very well and were happier together than you ever had been before," Isabelle replied.
"It was insane and improbable to fall for someone in a first meeting but it was the beginning of everything that ever mattered to my heart and the end of everything that didn't," Hazel mentioned. "Now coming to the proposal setting, I want to approach logically and not emotionally," she added.
"From the woman"s point of view, proposals often arrive out of nowhere: A man she"d been dating would hide a ring inside of a piece of cake or at the bottom of a champagne glass," Isabelle pointed out. "And she would react with shock and overwhelming flattery, and would face a split-second decision: to devote the rest of her life to him, or to cause the man a great deal of embarrassment and disappointment by saying 'no'," she added.
"To me, this is terrifying—how are you supposed to make a decision like that on the spot, with the person you loved and the strangers surrounding you all silently urging you to say yes ?" Hazel revealed her fears. "Imagine, if this wasn"t the man you wanted to marry, how would you summon the courage and certainty to say no ? Wouldn"t this all be a lot easier if they"d just talked it over first ? And what if you swallowed the ring from a champagne glass ?!" Hazel asked, horrified, gasping her breath.
"I've realized that adults should be talking about their future together often—their individual goals, and their goals for their relationship like you and Calvin have been discussing," Isabelle replied.
"Calvin is an amazing, mature person with high intelligence and emotional quotient. You don't meet such sincere guys every day. Mark my words !" Hazel commented as she also realized that she couldn't envision a possible future that didn't include him.
"So, you do realize that you have to marry him eventually, right ?" Isabelle questioned.
"Yes, I do now. But, I hope I'm not making a hasty decision on getting hitched," Hazel nervously said as she wanted to discuss that only with Isabelle.
"It can be easy to assume that hasty engagements are reserved for the rich and famous, but some real-life people have done it too and lived to tell the tale and I'm one of them," Isabelle said in an encouraging tone.
"I just thought, I don't want to have to drop heavy hints for a year before he asks me out for marriage," Hazel sighed.
"While Calvin is very driven professionally, I know he would probably procrastinate and not get around to proposing to you for at least another few years," Isabelle chuffed with a roll of her eyes.
"You're absolutely right in your reading of him. He"s very much of the, if it ain"t broken" school of thought; I"m definitely more of a what if ?" person. I think this is actually one of the reasons our sensibilities work so well together," Hazel replied.
"So, instead of waiting for your life history to happen to you, set it in motion yourself ! If you know you have found the right person and you're reasonably sure the time is right, go ahead and ask," Isabelle suggested.
"Wait, I"m allowed to do that ?!" Hazel responded after hearing what she really wanted to hear the whole evening.
"Seize every opportunity you can to subvert gender norms. Proposing will be just another notch on your belt, and he will love it !" Isabelle squealed excitedly with a huge smile on her face.
"Now everything makes sense to me as a person. I think I was always meant to be the one to propose whenever I found someone I wanted to marry," Hazel joked, making her companion chuckle. "So to say, I'm quite sure about my decision. I know what I want. But, I still have my reservations" Hazel hesitated.
"Now, what are those ?" Isabelle cocked her head and questioned her.
"If I did propose to him, there are so many reasons for him to say no ! Maybe because Calvin isn"t ready, or that he doesn"t know what he wants ? Or that if he does know what he wants, but he isn"t decisive enough to say so, to me ?" Hazel sputtered out all the reasons worriedly in one breath. "Or that I was demeaning myself, by begging my guy to marry me, when tradition dictates that he should be lobbying diamonds into my dessert like Dmitri or dropping to his knees at my feet like Leo ?" she added.
"It's not about 'sticking it to the patriarchy'; it's so much about you both - and the way it happened that reflects the fluidity of your relationship's power balance," Isabelle answered. "You know you have found the right man. You also admit that he might not get around to asking for years, and clearly you don't want to wait," Isabelle replied while wagging her finger at Hazel. "We"ve been taught to take control of our bodies and our careers. If we"re the marrying type, and we"ve found the right person, why not also take control of when we do it and how we do it ?" she asked with a shrug of her shoulder.
"Hmm, still ... " Hazel hesitated.
"If it seems right, and you're both on the same page, it'll be the easiest question you'll ever ask, believe me" Isabelle encouraged. "Women aren"t the only ones who should get engagement rings !" She exclaimed. "According to old European beliefs, February 29 is the one day of the year where women are encouraged to propose to their loved ones. So if you want, you can wait," Isabelle suggested with a wink.
"Unfortunately, this date only takes place every four years, so it's not exactly convenient. However, some women like me don't need some arbitrary date chosen for them. I'll prefer to take matters into my own hands," Hazel replied as they both laughed.
"So are you confident about Calvin not being the one to go down on one knee ?" Isabelle asked. "Will you be able to go through the whole thing without chickening out ?"
"Proposing to Calvin will mean so much to me, Isa. I don"t need him to make me feel valued or secure by getting down on one knee," Hazel answered. "He chose me at a thousand different junctures already, each of which were more meaningful than a showy proposal would have been. Now, it's my turn to make him feel the way that I had always wanted to feel: to tell him exactly why I wanted to spend my life with him, and no one else; to reflect on the experiences we already shared, explaining what each means to me. That is the kind of love that I know we both deserve," she solemnly added.
"If you love someone unconditionally and wouldn"t want to ever do life again without them, just ask. It truly doesn"t matter which person does it," Isabelle responded.
"Your advice ?" Hazel grinned.
"My advice? If you know what you want, why wait? Don't overthink it. If you have to overthink it, your relationship might not be there yet. Like I said, it should be the easiest question you'll ever ask. It"s as much your decisions as his," Isabelle said. "It's a simple advice, but just do it. The worst that can happen is that he says no- but then at least you're having a clear and open dialogue about your relationship and future together. Better to know where you stand, I would say," Isabelle said as she hugged Hazel goodbye.
On the morning of the proposal Hazel felt very nervous, shaky and had butterflies in her stomach.even though she knew it was probably going to be a "Yes."
It was one of the countless day trips that Calvin and Hazel had taken since they started dating; but this time, she carried a surprise in her backpack, and a flutter of anticipation in her stomach.
Hazel planned a surprise weekend away for the two of them. They both loved to hike and adventure together, she had got herself an automatic perfect-place-to-propose !
They spent the day driving along the coast, stopping to hike at several overlooks. They had just finished a two-mile hike when Hazel asked him if they could find a beautiful, remote spot for the sunset on one of the specific hiking trails as waves crashed against the base of the cliff.
She had planned that hike with him on just an ordinary day, spending it together, doing something they both enjoyed.
She carried a backpack. Without him knowing, she packed a mini bottle of ice cold champagne in a neoprene wine bottle case that helped to keep it chilled.
She put in two paper cups, and a bag of trail mix and now she was ready with the key ingredients to a romantic proposal and some snacks to keep them going.
They both loved spontaneity, they enjoyed their hike, shared the scenery and reminisced memories which they had been making along the way.
Finally, when Hazel found a particularly majestic spot, she bent down to tie her shoe.
Lingering on the shoelace, until Calvin realized that Hazel isn't answering his questions. So, he turned to see what was taking her so long.
"What happened, Hazel ?" Calvin said as he turned around towards her to see.
Since she was already on one knee, she looked up at him, and reached into her shirt, like something was itching her chest.
"What is this ?!" Hazel asked, as she pulled something out of her shirt.
It was a chain, with a ring at the end.
She had put the engagement ring on a chain, and had been wearing it around her neck the entire hike.
"I've been wearing this ring the whole day, right next to my heart, which is where I want you to be for the rest of my life," Hazel said.
"Would you be mine forever?" she asked as she handed him a gorgeous chain with a vintage engagement ring.
"Is this for real ?" Calvin responded in bewilderment.
Hazel murmured, "Yes, it's for real."
"Yes, I can't think of anything I want to do more than spend the rest of my life with you !!" Calvin excitedly replied, his mind half shocked, half elated with overflowing excitement.
"This is perfect and a complete surprise ! A hike of a lifetime !!" Calvin remarked as a vivid sunset formed in the western sky with their eyes meeting.
"How cool is this reversal of gender roles ! Not only am I thrilled at the prospect of marrying you, but the thrill it brought to me at the prospect of being proposed to by you," Calvin made an offhand remark.
"How did this idea suddenly pop up in your mind ?" Calvin questioned.
"Earlier marriage scared me, and because it scared me, it intrigued me. But suddenly, a delightful new possibility had opened up before me: I might get to call the best person I"d ever met my husband—and it would be up to me to pop the question". So I planned all this for my special someone," Hazel replied.
"On the day we met at the birthday party, I knew that I had met the person with whom I would spend the rest of my life," Calvin admitted.
"Then why did you keep it a secret from me ?" Hazel asked.
"I kept this quiet for as long as I could, terrified to disturb the equilibrium of our seemingly perfect relationship," Calvin replied. "I love that we found each other ! And that we started as friends is so important to us– after all, we're going to spend the rest of our lives together, so we better like each other !" Calvin remarked as he pulled her close to his body.
The sweet scent of the wild blossoms, the warmth of the sun, and the simple joy of living melded into this breathless moment.
There wasn"t a moment of hesitation as the warmth of love got replaced by an unmistakable look of desire that awoke a wild longing within them to be cherished in each other"s arms after such a beautiful proposal.
"Hazel ...," he whispered, staring into her sparkling eyes and taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her face up towards him as she held his anxious, burning gaze for a moment or maybe it was forever.
"Calvin ..." she softly whimpered as time stopped but the flutter of her heart only intensified.
Hazel submitted herself to every heady sensation, allowing him to kiss her.
Calvin"s hand moved under her hair, clasping the nape of her neck, pulling her closer towards him as his kiss deepened, lengthened and possessed.
She yielded to an age-old dance of their lips while letting his hands slide the length of her body, he molded her against him in a slow sweet fusion that made her thrillingly aware of his desire for her.
"See the effect you have on me,"Calvin whispered as they pulled apart, his eyes glittering with a spark an awakening in them, a flame that couldn"t be put out.
"I"ve wanted to do that for some time," Calvin said as he rested his forehead against hers.
"Me too," Hazel whispered as she knew saying those words was playing with fire.
He claimed her again in a kiss, the moment she uttered those inviting words. He carried her into storm-tossed waters, as she stepped into his arms, and they folded around her.
She could only cling to him as wild emotions surged within her and every defense washed away.