36.

**Blake**




A cold shiver trailed down my spine as I still laid wide awake, numbly snuggling myself even closer against Ricky’s warm body.

Even though I’ve chosen to stay with him for the night like I always did back when I were just a scared kid that needed comfort and protection, I’ve been lying around wide awake almost the entire night after all that crazy shit.

Not even my brother’s calming presence could lull me to sleep.

All those crazy moments, all those hurtful words kept replaying on and on in my mind, keeping me restless.

My stupid mistake with Rem...

Rem and Azrael’s fight...

That certain unexpected disclosure of Luc and Raph’s true feelings...

Daya’s sudden decision of freaking sacrificing herself after all that fucked-up shit...

And the last, most painful event...Azrael’s sudden cold behavior towards me...

Feeling my brother’s arm wrap even tighter around me I tightly clutched my hands against his hoodie, closing my eyelids shut as I felt tears once again threatening to slip at the memory of Daya’s so filled with hurt teary eyes after my confession and the sight of my cold and empty bed after she’d practically kicked me out of her room.

Yes, after all that forced smooching with beast-boy and that chaos in our backyard, for some reason Azrael simply refrained himself from coming into my room again or even acknowledging me whatsoever.

And now she’s going to have him kill her, because I’m stupid and useless!

Choking back a small sob I buried my face in the soft fabric against Ricky’s torso, finding myself totally unable to contain myself anymore as his soothing voice suddenly reached my ears,

“Hey hey, it’s okay, I’m here with you...”

I only let out a small whimper, clinging myself even tighter against him as the dam finally broke, feeling hot tears wetting my face and his hoodie as well as I cried and cried all over again.

“Shh...it’s okay...You’re ok...” He kept whispering over the top of my head, his hand rubbing slow, comforting circles over my back.

“God...I feel so fucking useless...” I mumbled between sniffles, my words muffled as I kept my nose shoved in the side of his chest.

“Why? You know there’s nothing more you could’ve done,” His torso lightly vibrated against my forehead as he spoke.

“It’s her choice...And his,” He sourly added, my hand resting over his strongly beating heart involuntarily clutching against the fabric over it as those words Raph and I lastly exchanged replayed in my mind.

“Yeah but still...” My voice wavered, swallowing back another sob,
“I feel kinda guilty for whatever’s gonna happen to her today...I just can’t help it...”

Another shiver crawled up my spine as I dared imagine what Azrael was going to do to her on this very same day, that thought only bringing back to life those dark, deeply buried memories.

Sickly pale skin, pure white hair, pitch black bottomless eyes...Blood...

Blood...

A buzzing sound abruptly brought me back to reality, quickly sitting up, only to notice how Ricky’s phone lightly moved over the nightstand with its screen rhythmically lighting up.

Mumbling a small apology he quickly got up to retrieve it, noticing how his features faintly lightened up as he finally glanced at the screen.

“Hi,” He answered in a surprisingly gentle tone, watching how his honey brown eyes found my own as he reluctantly continued,

“Yeah I’m awake,”

The room fell silent as he listened to whatever the person on the other end was saying, his demeanor once again changing as a light frown dusted his features.

“Yeah I’ll be there right away.”

“Okay bye,” He uttered in that same soft tone, the faint hint of a smile dancing on his thin lips as he hung up.

“How is she? Is she ok?” I quickly asked as I already knew exactly who he had been talking to, another wave of sadness washing over me as I couldn’t help worrying for her, her so long-lasting absence now affecting me more than ever.

She was my one and only friend, and now she couldn’t even be with me when I needed her the most.

“She’s fine. And she misses you so much, you know?” He lightly smiled as he gazed at me, feeling another tear threatening to slip.

“I miss her too...I wish she could be here with us again...”

Unfortunately, that was not possible since we had a freaking fallen angel and a deadly sin roaming around our house...

That was the reason why Ricky had every other human working or living here temporarily move out. At least until we could solve the “problem”.

“I know,” He murmured, quickly scooting closer to pull me in a warm hug, feeling his lips gingerly press against my forehead as I wrapped my arms around his torso.

We stayed like that for a few moments longer, relishing in each other’s comforting warmth before he gave me another peck on the forehead, murmuring apologetically,

“I have to go.”

“Yeah I know,” I begrudgingly mumbled, my lips setting into a pout as I watched him climb off the bed and disappear into his bathroom.

“Just tell her I’ll call!” I shouted after him as I eventually got off his bed too, quickly hearing his response from behind the closed door,
“Okaay!”

Letting him mind his own business and prepare to go see Leila I exited his room, intending to at least go and prepare myself a cup of coffee since I obviously couldn’t rest anyway and I was so tired of lying around in bed, doing mostly nothing.

And I can’t hide myself forever behind closed doors either...I’ll have to face them eventually.

I blew out a tired sigh at the thought of that, stopping at the bottom of the first set of stairs, my eyes unintentionally landing on the small wet stains littered on the red hallway carpet, trailing all the way towards the grand marble staircase.

What the...

I curiously followed them, stupidly enough tripping over the first steps as my foot accidentally slipped, being in danger of tumbling all the way down if it wasn’t for those warm hands effortlessly catching me.

I dumbly blinked a few times, taking a breath before my gaze slowly trailed up, meeting those stormy grey eyes.

Oh shit.

“Oh...H-hi...” I awkwardly uttered, forcing out a little smile even though on the inside I was already feeling nervous as hell.

The corner of his mouth only curled up into a weak smile, giving me one last glance before he turned to walk away.

A heavy weight settled at the pit of my stomach as I watched him descend the first few stairs, feeling so affected by this sudden gap between us. Even though we still had our unsolved “issues”, I just couldn’t let him go like this. He was about to lose a child today, for god’s sake!

“Wait...W-where are you going?” I reluctantly called after him, noticing him abruptly take a halt as I climbed down those few stairs to approach him.

Those piercing grey eyes found my own once again as he turned back to face me, immense pain marring his carved features as he quietly said,
“Trust me, it’s better if I went someplace else for a while. Because right now, I don’t think I can stand to be here without ripping my brothers’ heads off.”

I stared up at him, blinking back hot tears whilst he turned to continue his path, watching him suddenly turn back and step closer, his warm soft hands finding my own as he wholeheartedly murmured,

“I’m so sorry, Blake...

And I can only wish that you would someday forgive me...”

I choked back a small sob as I watched him let go and finally walk away, too deeply affected to even utter a word, my own feet slowly taking me further down his trail until I’ve reached the bottom.

“I’m sorry too...For not being able to save your child...” My trembling whispers met complete silence as he was already gone, leaving me to drown in my own tears and sorrow.

“I’m sorry...”

“I’m so sorry...”

I kept repeating, words falling on deaf ears as he was long gone by now, the sounds of my quiet sobs abruptly interrupted by a clinking noise, no doubt coming from the living area.

Curiously peering at the wide open doors, I wiped off the wetness from my cheeks with the sleeves of my hoodie before soundlessly walking in that direction.

Only as soon as I passed through the open doors my mood simply plummeted to the ground as the one, single person I really didn’t want to see today graced my sight.

Yet there he was, casually pouring himself a glass of whiskey like it was THE MOST BORING DAY IN THE WORLD, his visibly nonchalant posture angering me to no end.

She was going to die today and he didn’t even seem to care!

Practically seething in anger I stomped my way closer, barely containing myself from simply pouncing on him and beating the shit out of him as I venomously spat,

“I hate you.”

Not even a single fucking twitch.

“I hate you so fucking much,” I only continued, watching him finally turn around, those emotionless black pits looking me dead in the eye as he so calmly said,
“And I don’t care.”

My entire body started to lightly tremble at the sound of that, feeling my blood boiling as I stepped over the couch, with an accusatory finger staring him down as I started shouting out loud,

“Listen you motherfucking-”

The sound of an ear-splitting feminine scream suddenly drowned my words, finding myself frozen to my spot, totally unable to even react anymore.

It was happening...It was happening right now...

My eyes only widened as another heart-wrenching wail reached my ears, feeling my bottom lip quiver in sheer fright and despair, finding it difficult to even breathe.

No...no...

Small tears trailed down my cheeks as the tormented screaming only continued, feeling like my own heart was tearing apart at the horrifying sounds.

Trailing my gaze back to the fallen monster before me, I watched with blurry eyes how with each scream and wail, his composure started to slowly dissolve, shocked to notice how his hand wrapped around the crystal glass held tighter and tighter...until it shattered into million pieces.