CHAPTER 157
**ZION**
She ran.
Fuck.
I watch her disappear through the doors, Claire and Ariel flanking her like a goddamn shield. I should've expected it, should've known that just because I stood up here and poured my fucking soul out, it wouldn't magically fix everything.
But watching her leave without saying a single word still feels like a knife twisting in my gut.
The auditorium is emptying out, students murmuring as they file past me, stealing glances like I'm some sideshow freak they just witnessed crack wide open.
Beside me, Clark sighs dramatically, shaking his head like he's the one suffering here.
"Well," he mutters, rubbing the back of his neck.
"That could've gone better."
Ro exhales sharply. "No shit."
Clark lets out an exaggerated sigh, then pats his pocket.
"You know, if you'd just read my speech instead of going full tortured bad boy, she would've been putty in your hands by now."
I slowly turn my head to glare at him.
"Clark-"
He pulls out the crumpled pages with a smug look.
"Seriously, man. I poured my soul into this. There was a metaphor about lost stars and everything."
My patience snaps. "Give me that."
Clark's eyes widen. "Wait-"
Too late.
I snatch the papers from his hand, rip them in half, then rip them again for good measure.
"Dude!" Clark yelps, staring at the shredded pieces like they're his firstborn child.
I shove the remains against his chest.
"Next time you write a speech, I'm shoving it so far down your throat you'll be shitting poetry for a week."
Ro snorts. Harry just shakes his head, muttering, "Jesus Christ."
Clark, unfazed as ever, sighs dramatically.
"Fine. Just don't come crying to me when your tragic love story goes up in flames."
I don't have time for this.
Harry sighs, his eyes fixed on the crowd filtering out of the auditorium. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest, his jaw clenched like he's holding something back. Finally, he exhales, shaking his head.
"Fuck, Z... you did fucking good, man. You poured your heart out. I was hoping-hell, praying-she'd just run into your arms and say she forgave you."
His voice is thick with disappointment like he wanted this to go differently just as much as I did.
A sharp pang shoots through my chest.
My hand moves instinctively, pressing against the ache as I turn to him, my temper dangerously close to snapping.
"Well, obviously, it wasn't fucking good enough," I bite out, my voice thick with frustration.
I don’t know what the fuck I thought would happen. That she’d break down and finally forgive me? That she’d take one look at me and see how much I regret everything?
I shake my head, dragging a hand through my hair, my chest tightening like a vice.
Harry doesn’t say anything, but I can feel his eyes on me—steady, patient, waiting for me to get my shit together. But I can’t.
I exhale sharply, my hands clenching into fists before I force them open again.
"I don’t know, Harry. I just—” My voice cracks, and I hate it. Hate how raw, how fucking helpless I sound.
Harry shifts beside me, and for once, there’s no teasing, no smirk. Just quiet understanding.
I shake my head again, letting out a rough breath. “I didn’t mean to snap at you,” I mutter. “I just—I don’t know what to do.”
Harry claps a firm hand on my shoulder, grounding me. “I know, man.” His voice is steady, unwavering. “But losing your shit isn’t going to fix it.”
I let out a humourless laugh. “Yeah? And what is?”
He doesn’t answer right away, just squeezes my shoulder before letting go. “You figure it out.”
"I thought maybe she'd at least say something. Give me something to hold onto."
Ro exhales through his nose, watching me carefully before speaking.
"She's been through hell, man. And most of it was because of you." His words aren't meant to be cruel, but they still hit like a gut punch.
"You think I don't know that?" My voice is hoarse and bitter.
"You think I don't fucking hate myself for what I did? I broke her. I saw it in her eyes every damn day, and I still kept going."
"Maybe she just needs time to process everything you said. Just because you finally pulled your head out of your ass in front of everyone doesn't mean she's ready to believe you." Ro sighed, looking away.
Clark, for once, is uncharacteristically quiet. When I glance at him, he shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I mean... Ro's not wrong. You were an unbearable asshole to her for months."
I shoot him a glare, and he holds up his hands in surrender.
"Hey, I'm just saying! Grand gestures are great and all, but maybe she needs more than that. More than a speech."
"What more can I do?" I mutter bitterly, staring at the empty doorway like I can still see her walking away.
Harry steps closer, clapping a firm hand on my shoulder.
"Show her, Zion. Don't just say the words them. Prove that every apology, every regret, every damn thing you just spilt wasn't just for show. That you're not expecting her to forgive you just because you said you were sorry. Show her that you mean that you're willing to fight for her, no matter how long it takes."
I rake a hand through my hair, my pulse hammering so hard it drowns out everything else.
The murmurs, the whispers, the way students keep glancing between me and the door Winter just ran through-it's all fucking static in my head.
She ran.
I poured my goddamn heart out, and she ran.
My chest is tight, my fists clenching at my sides. I don't even know what I expected.
Some kind of miracle?
That she'd just let it all go because I finally admitted how badly I fucked up?
"Harry's right Prove to her that you mean it," Ro says, his voice steady, calm. "That you're not just saying words-you're willing to show her."
"How do I prove to her that I'd burn the whole goddamn world down just to take it all back?"
My throat feels raw, my chest tight, and I force down the lump rising there.
"I swear to God, I'll do anything," I murmur, my voice barely steady.
"I just... I just don't know if it'll ever be enough."
Clark, of all people, is the one who breaks the silence. He claps a hand on my shoulder, giving me a rough shake.
"Yeah, well, standing here like a moody jackass sure as hell isn't gonna be enough either," he says, his usual teasing edge missing.
"You wanna fix this? Then fix it, Z. Show her. Fight for her. Do whatever it takes. Because if you don't, you're gonna spend the rest of your miserable life wishing you had."
I blink, momentarily thrown off by the blubluntnesseer wisdom coming out of Clark's mouth of all people.
Ro raises an eyebrow. "Well, damn. Didn't know you had that in you."
Clark shrugs. "What can I say? I have layers." Then, smirking, he adds,
"Like an onion. Or an expensive parfait."
I huff out something that almost sounds like a laugh, but the ache in my chest swallows it before it can fully form.
He's right, though. I can't just stand here.
I have to do something.
"And how the fuck am I supposed to do that, Clark? I've done nothing but destroy her since the day she got here."
He shrugs. "Start by not letting her run. You gonna just let her slip through your fingers again?"
That hits like a punch to the ribs.
No.
No, I'm not.
And this time, I won't let her walk away.
The way she looked at me up on that stage... for a second, just a flicker, I thought I saw something like the first hint of sunrise after a never-ending night. Like maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for forgiveness.
But then she ran.
And fuck, maybe I didn't say enough.
Maybe I didn't bleed enough for her to believe me. I should've made it clearer, should've torn myself apart if that's what it took to prove how fucking sorry I am. But how do you make up for something like this? How do you fix what you spent months breaking?
I know she doesn't want to see me. Hell, I don't even want to see me. But none of that matters. I can't let her walk away thinking my apology was just words.
I have to make her understand.
Leaving the guys behind, I push through the crowd toward the exit, my pulse hammering, my mind racing with every worst-case scenario.
I push past the last few lingering students as I head for the exit. I have no idea where she went, but I'm going to find her.
What if she never forgives me?
What if I've already lost her?
No. I can't let that happen.
I won't let that happen.
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