CHAPTER 158

**WINTER**

I don't know where I'm going.

All I know is that I need to move.

My heart pounds like a war drum, my legs carrying me forward on pure instinct. I push through the campus, past blurred faces, past hushed whispers that swirl around me like ghosts. My lungs burn with every breath, but I can't stop. Not yet.

Zion's voice is still in my head, every word seared into my mind, refusing to let me go.

'I posted those pictures'

'They were fake'

I squeeze my eyes shut as if that will block out the weight of his confession, but it doesn't. It's there, pressing down on me, making my chest constrict until I feel like I might break.

A sharp tug on my arm jerks me to a stop. Claire.

"Winter, slow down," she says, her voice firm but gentle, her fingers gripping my wrist tightly.

I blink, realizing we've stopped just outside one of the campus gardens. 

The early morning sun filters through the trees, casting long shadows across the stone path, the world eerily calm compared to the storm raging inside me.

Claire shifts closer, her eyes searching mine. 

"Breathe, like this." she urges, her tone softer now. 

Claire takes a deep breath, filling her lungs before exhaling slowly. Then she does it again, exaggerating the motion, making it obvious.

"Come on," she urges, her tone softer now. 

"Just... breathe for a minute."

She inhales deeply once more, nodding toward me as if to say, your turn.

I suck in a shaky breath, but it doesn't feel like enough. My hands tremble at my sides, my pulse still racing.

Ariel steps up beside me, her small fingers wrapping around mine, her grip warm and steady. 

"That was... a lot to take in," she murmurs, her voice careful, like she's afraid I might shatter. 

"I mean, he looked like he meant it, but..." She trails off, squeezing my hand.

Claire huffs, crossing her arms. 

"Okay, screw this. We're not going to class today." She tosses an arm around my shoulders like it's already decided. 

"I'm declaring this an official 'Let's gossip about those fucking morons' day."

Ariel lets out a quiet laugh.

Claire smirks. 

"Seriously. We need a full debrief. Is Zion a lying bastard? Or did he actually mean what he said? And more importantly, do we even care?"

I finally look up, my chest still tight, but the weight isn't quite as suffocating anymore.

Claire nudges me gently. "What do you say? Want to escape for a bit?"

I hesitate, then slowly nod. "Yeah... yeah, let's go."

Claire grins. "That's the spirit. Now, let's get the hell out of here before someone forces us back to reality."

She stretches her arms over her head, letting out a dramatic sigh. 

"Alright, my place it is. We can raid my mom's snack stash, trash-talk men, and pretend the world doesn't exist for a few hours."

I nod, the idea of mindless distraction feeling like a lifeline right now. But before we can move, Ariel suddenly stops, her fingers tightening around mine.

"I don't think I can..." she says quietly, her voice unsure.

Claire whirls around, giving her an incredulous look. 

"Of course you can. Live a little, Ariel."

Ariel shifts on her feet, her gaze darting around, scanning the passing students like she's expecting something- someone- to jump out at her.

I step closer. "Hey... what's wrong?"

She hesitates, chewing her lip before shaking her head. 

"I just... I don't usually skip class. And what if someone sees us? What if-"

"Oh my God." Claire groans, rolling her eyes before slinging an arm around Ariel's shoulders. 

"First of all, who cares? Second, it’s not like we’re committing a crime—we’re just skipping one day of school. And third..." Claire pauses, squeezing Ariel’s shoulder, her smirk turning into something softer.

"Actually, I have no idea what third is, but hey—taking a day off has never killed anyone, right?"

She pauses, then tilts her head. "Unless... is there a problem?"

Ariel's reaction is immediate-she shakes her head frantically, a little too fast. 

I watch Ariel carefully, the way her shoulders are drawn tight, the way her eyes keep darting around like she's expecting something.

I step closer, lowering my voice. "Ariel... are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just-" She exhales sharply, forcing a small, unconvincing smile. 

"It's nothing."

It's definitely something.

I don't push, though. I know what it's like to have things you're not ready to talk about.

Instead, I offer a small smile of my own. 

"Well... I could use a few good shoulders to lean on today. What do you say?"

Ariel's lips part slightly, and for a second, I think she's going to shut me down. But then, slowly, she nods.

"Okay," she whispers.

Claire grins. "Now that's my girl."

We start toward the parking lot, the weight on my chest feeling just a little lighter until a voice shatters the moment.

"Snowflake!"

My stomach drops.

The three of us freeze, and then I hear it again, closer this time.

"Snowflake.."

Claire groans, throwing her hands in the air. 

"Oh, for the love of-give the girl a break! What now? Another long, heartfelt speech about how sorry he is?" She smirks. 

"Because if so, I need popcorn."

"Snowflake, wait!"

I turn just as Zion comes sprinting toward us, his expression is desperate, his gaze locked only on me.

Zion skids to a stop in front of me, his chest rising and falling fast, his breath coming in sharp pants like he had just run a marathon. 

His hands are on his hips as he leans forward slightly, trying and failing to catch his breath. 

For a second, he just stares at me, his eyes burning into mine like he has something monumental to say. If he doesn't get it out now, he might self-destruct.

Then, finally, he straightens, swallowing hard.

"Snowflake..."

His voice is rough, almost hesitant. He pauses, blinking rapidly as if trying to remember what he actually ran all the way over here to say.

I wait.

He shifts on his feet, straightening his shoulders like he's trying to act cool, but his slightly winded state betrays him. 

"I... uh-" He clears his throat. 

"I wasn't running after you or anything. I mean, I was, but not in like, a desperate way. More like... a brisk, determined pace."

Claire snorts. Ariel presses her lips together, clearly fighting a smile.

"I-uh-listen, I-" He stops, frowns, then groans under his breath. 

"Shit. Okay, hold on, let me-" 

Another deep inhale, another exhale. 

"What I mean is-- I'm not here to-I mean, I am here to tell but not like, push or whatever. Unless you want me to push on, not push, I mean-" 

He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, visibly collecting himself before opening them again. 

"Fuck, okay, I swear I had a whole thing planned."

Ariel muffles a laugh beside me, and even Claire looks vaguely amused. 

I just blink at him, my lips parting slightly as I take in this version of Zion fidgety, flustered mess who, for once, doesn't look like he has everything under control.

He drags a hand down his face before throwing up his hands. 

"Alright, you know what? This isn't how this was supposed to go."

"Really?" Claire snorts. "Because I think it's going great."

He ignores her, his focus locked on me. 

"Snowflake, can we-" He stops himself again, shifting on his feet like he's physically trying to contain whatever he's feeling. 

Zion drags a hand through his hair, his fingers threading through the strands in frustration before dropping to rub the back of his neck. 

"I just... I-" He exhales sharply, shaking his head, muttering under his breath, 

"God, I had this whole thing planned out in my head." His lips press into a tight line for a moment before his eyes find mine again-steady, searching, desperate.

"You left," he says, voice quieter now, rougher. 

"And I couldn't let you go without... without trying." His throat bobs as he swallows hard, his hands clenching at his sides. 

"Without proving to you that I meant what I said."

He looks at me like he's waiting for something-a sign, a word, anything-but I just stand there, frozen, caught between the past and whatever this is now.

And the worst part?

For a split second, I almost believe him.

Then, with an almost pleading edge to his voice, he tries again. "Just... can we talk?"

I don't answer right away. I don't know how to answer.

And Zion-cocky, arrogant, usually-so-damn-smug Zion-looks at me like he's actually nervous.

Like my answer might just ruin him.

Claire's eyes search mine, her grip firm but gentle, grounding me even as my mind spins out of control.

"Winter, talk to me. What now? Do you want to talk?"

I part my lips, but no words come out. What now?

I look at Zion-standing there, tense, waiting-then quickly drop my gaze to the ground.

Why is this so hard?

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. What I'm supposed to feel, what I'm supposed to say.

One part of me wants to scream at him and make him feel every ounce of pain he's put me through. To rip him apart the way he did to me.

Another part-one I hate-wants to throw my arms around him, to let his warmth drown out the cold that's settled in my chest for months. To hear him say it's okay. That we could be okay.

But we're not.

We might never be.

"Winter, please," Zion murmurs, his voice softer now, raw in a way that twists something deep inside me. 

"Just... can we talk? For a moment."

I squeeze my eyes shut.

Go back to before?

Before Zion decided to tear me down? Before I became some twisted source of his revenge? Before I was that girl, people whispered about me in hallways and laughed about me behind my back.

Or do I believe him?

That he really is sorry. That this isn't just another game. Another way to break me.

I want to believe him. I do.

But wanting isn't the same as trusting.

And right now? I don't know if I can believe a single word that comes out of his mouth.

And if I can't trust him... how am I supposed to forgive him?