CHAPTER 209

**ZION**

“Whatever you want, Snowflake. Just say the word.”

I didn’t expect her to answer right away.

Hell, I didn’t even know if she could.

But then—she didn’t speak.

She just leaned back into me, her body soft against mine, like she’d finally let go of whatever storm had been tightening her up inside.

Her head came to rest on my shoulder, and I swore I stopped breathing for a second.

Fuck.

I wrapped my arms tighter around her, one hand splayed over her stomach, the other curling gently around her wrist, anchoring her to me.

She was so small like this.

So warm.

So real.

We stood there, barely moving, just breathing the same air while the cold breeze drifted through the open balcony door.

But it wasn’t enough to cool me down.

Not when she was in my arms like this. Not when my heart was hammering so loud I was sure she could hear it.

And then—barely above a whisper—I heard it.

"I want you... I want to forget... I want you to help me forget..."

Her voice was raw like something scraped up from a place too deep to fake.

I closed my eyes, tightening my hold around her like I could shield her from every fucking thing she wanted to escape.

She wanted to forget—and she wanted me to be the one to help her do it.

God help me, I would.

I buried my face in her neck, breathing her in like I was drowning and she was the only air I had left.

My lips brushed against her skin—barely a kiss, more of a confession.

“You have me,” I murmured, my voice raw against her pulse.

“For as long as you want. As long as you’ll have me.”

She melted into me, pressing closer, like her body was trying to mould itself to mine.

Her head found its place on my shoulder, soft and trusting, and it wrecked me in the best possible way.

I wrapped my arms around her tighter, like holding her was the only way to stay sane. She felt so damn good in my arms—warm, real, mine.

And for a moment, the chaos faded.

Just her.

Just me.

Just us.

Then her voice slipped into the silence—soft, hesitant, barely a breath against the night.

“I want you to be my first… I’ve never…”

She hesitated, the words catching in her throat—

“…Not with anyone,” she whispered, barely louder than the wind curling around us.

“Not ever. And I want it to be you… tonight.....I....”

She didn’t finish the sentence.

She didn’t have to.

Because every word she didn’t say echoed louder than the ones she did.

She’s never…

She’s never done this.

She’s never been with anyone.

She’s never—

Fuck.

The words hit me like a freight train.

Slamming into my chest, my ribs, my spine.

My mind blanked.

Completely screeched to a halt.

Winter.

My Snowflake.

A virgin.

And she was standing here… in my arms… asking me—

Not someone else.

Me.

It was like the air got knocked out of my lungs.

A thousand emotions warred inside me.

Shock.

Awe.

Terror.

Desperation.

And something dangerously close to reverence.

My arms tightened instinctively around her, as if some part of me was afraid she’d vanish.

But the rest of me—God, the rest of me—stood paralysed.

Because this wasn’t just lust.

This wasn’t just a moment.

She was handing me something real.

Something untouched.

Something raw.

And she trusted me with it.

My jaw clenched, breath shallow.

I didn’t know if I wanted to kiss her or drop to my knees and ask if she was absolutely sure.

She leaned into me, heart beating fast, waiting—maybe hoping I’d say something.

Fuck!

She was a virgin?

How the hell did I not know that?

I thought… I don’t know what I thought.

That someone like her—so beautiful, so guarded, so full of fire and softness—had already given that part of herself away. I was too late.

But I wasn’t.

And she was offering it—to me.

My chest tightened.

She trusted me with this. This.

I lowered my head slowly, pressing my forehead to the side of hers, trying to calm the chaos thundering inside me.

“Snowflake…” My voice was low and rough, thick with emotion.

I wanted her—God, I wanted her—but not if this was just a way to bury pain, a desperate distraction from everything falling apart.

“Are you really sure?” I hesitated, my voice rough.

“Because... we don’t have to rush anything.”

I needed to know she was choosing me.

Not just the moment.

Because she wasn’t just giving me her body—she was offering something sacred. And I’d burn in hell before I took that lightly.

Winter turned in my arms, her eyes searching mine—wide, vulnerable, a flicker of confusion and something deeper shining through.

“What do you mean, don’t have to rush? Don’t you want this? Don’t you want me?”

Her brows knitted together, lips parted as if waiting for an answer she wasn’t sure she’d get. It wasn’t just confusion in her voice—it was hurt, too.

"What! No... I ....."

"Never mind...

She pulled away just a fraction, like she needed space to process, but before she could drift too far,

I tightened my hold around her waist, pulling her closer—making sure she knew I wasn’t going anywhere.

"Snowflake....."

God.

How do I explain..

Any other girl, I wouldn’t have bothered explaining.

Wouldn’t have cared.

Back then, I took what I wanted—rough, fast, and without strings. No promises, no second thoughts. I’d leave them tangled in sheets and confusion, never looking back, never feeling anything beyond the high of control.

Cold. Detached.

That’s who I was.

A bastard with a good face and a bad reputation—and I wore it like armour.

But this was her.

My Snowflake.

And with her... I couldn't be that guy.

Not even if I tried.

With her, everything felt different.

Was different.

I couldn’t just take.

I didn’t want to.

Not unless she wanted me just as much.

Not unless she knew exactly what she was asking for and still chose me.

Because this wasn’t some faceless night I could forget.

This was everything.

I couldn’t cross a line. Not with her. Not unless she wanted it—really wanted it.

And maybe she was just overwhelmed.

Maybe she was scared, confused, looking for comfort in the middle of this storm—and if that’s all it was, then I needed to step back.

As badly as I wanted her, I wouldn’t take a single fucking thing unless it was something she gave me.

I needed her to choose me.

I needed to know where I stood. Where we stood.

And if she looked me in the eye and told me to screw off—I’d take it.

I’d walk away.

But right now, standing here with her body pressed to mine and her heart racing just as fast as mine—I had to ask.

"Forget it..." she whispered, starting to pull away from me.

“Snowflake?”

I said her name, rough and low, forcing it out when she wouldn’t even look at me—just stared ahead with those wide, stormy eyes like I’d just sucker-punched her.

She blinked slowly, her jaw tightening.

“What huh.....Why are you even asking me this question?” Her voice cracked, frustration bleeding through every syllable.

“You never said no to any other girl. Not once. But with me…”

She struggled in my arms, trying to break free, but I tightened my grip, holding her firm against me—because no way in hell was I letting her walk away thinking that.

“Because I need to know,” I said.

She let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head.

“Need to know what, Zion?” Her eyes finally snapped to mine, sharp and glistening.

“If I actually mean something? If I’m just another warm body to you? If I’m just some girl you can toss aside once the high fades?”

“No,” I said.

“You’re not just some girl. You never were. That’s why I’m asking. Because this—you—matter to me more than you’ll ever know. And I need to be damn sure you’re doing this for you, not because you’re scared or hurting or just trying to forget.”

Her breath caught, and mine did too. But I didn’t let go.

I wouldn’t.

“I’ve wanted you for a long damn time, Snowflake,” I said, my voice low, steady, even as my chest was anything but.

“Even when I was an asshole. Even when I told myself I hated you—when I tried to hate you—I still couldn’t stay away. I’d walk into a room and look for you. Hear your name and feel my whole world tilt. You were always there, in the back of my mind. Even when I swore I didn’t care… I did. God, I did.”

I exhaled slowly, brushing a strand of hair from her face, needing her to see every word in my eyes.

“I know my timing is shit. I know your world is spinning out right now, and this is the last thing you should be dealing with. But I need you to hear this—really hear it.”

I paused, my fingers tightening gently at her waist.

“I want you. Not just your body. You. All of you. I want this—whatever we are, whatever we could be. But more than anything, I need to know that you want me, too. Not just because you’re scared or hurting. Not because I’m the one standing in front of you.”

My voice broke just slightly as the last words left me, rough with everything I didn’t know how to say.

“I love you, Snowflake. Whether you’re ready or not. Whether you say it back or not. I love you. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Her breath hitched.

“You… you love me?” she whispered, like she didn’t believe it.

“Since when?”

I could’ve laughed.

Not because it was funny—but because fuck, if she only knew.

“Since we were kids,” I admitted, my voice low.

“Since I didn’t even know what love meant, but I knew you already had my heart. Since I saw other boys talk to you after school, I would have wanted to put my fist through a wall. Since every time it rained and your hair stuck to your cheek, all I wanted to do was brush it back and kiss you—even if I didn’t understand why.”

She looked stunned. Like I’d knocked the breath out of her.

Hell, maybe I had.

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to keep it together.

“I know I just stood in front of everyone and practically claimed you without even asking. And I’m sorry if that was too much. I got caught up in the moment. In you.”

I stepped back just a little, just enough to give her space to breathe, to think.

“But I’m asking now,” I said, my voice low but steady, even as everything in me felt like it was holding its breath.

“No pressure. No expectations. Just… be honest with me.”

I looked into her eyes—those eyes I’d known forever, eyes that undid me without even trying.

“Do you even like me, Snowflake?” My voice dropped, a little rough. “I mean… a lot? Maybe even love me a little?”

I reached up, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, needing her to see the truth in my eyes.

“Because before we take this any further—before we get intimate—I need to know. Not just for me. But because you matter. You're not just some moment I want to lose myself in. You're important to me.”

I swallowed hard, heart thundering in my chest.

“And if you feel even a little of what I feel... I swear, I’ll never let you go.”