29

Jonathan

The rumble of the plane’s engines fades into a dull roar as we descend over the twinkling Manhattan skyline. This is insane. A desperate, impulsive idea fueled by nothing more than a blind need to find Cathy.

How did I think I could just show up in this massive city and...what? Stumble across her by sheer dumb luck? The self-doubt and reality of my foolishness creeps in but I squash it down ruthlessly.

I can’t lose her, not like this.

The plane’s wheels bouncing against the tarmac jar me back to the present moment. My heart is pounding as I shuffle along with the crowd toward the terminal, utterly directionless.

I don’t even have luggage.

Then a fleeting thought cuts through the fog in my head—her father’s business empire.

Of course. A long shot. But if there’s any conceivable place to start chasing even a whisper of a lead, it would be there. I take a cab and give the driver the address, settle into the back seat and wait out the New York traffic until we pull up in front of the massive Blue Sky headquarters.

Feet pounding the sidewalk, I burst through the polished front doors with such force the security guard gives me a sharp look. I bypass him without a second thought, gaze frantically searching for...I don’t even know what exactly.

That’s when I nearly careen straight into someone. A startled squeak sounds from the woman as a cascade of chestnut curls flies in a brief flurry around her face. A sense of familiarity passes over me for an instant but then it’s gone.

“God, I’m sorry!” I blurt out, hands shooting up reflexively as if to catch her.

“It-it’s fine, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” she says. Her gaze roams over my face and then my body, no doubt taking in my disheveled appearance. “Are you...can I help you with something?”

I try to flatten my hair but I know I’ve run my fingers through it too many times for it to stay down. I don’t know this woman, but I can’t squander this chance, not when it could potentially lead me one step closer to Cathy.

“Please,” I blurt out, taking a half-stride closer without thought. “I...God, this is going to sound insane, but do you happen to know anything about a woman named Catherine Fowler? She goes by Cathy.”

I must look properly deranged based on the flash of uncertainty that flickers across her features. But to her credit, she doesn’t immediately recoil or write me off as some raving lunatic.

“I can’t just hand out personal information on the family,” she says carefully after a beat. “But...I may be able to pass along a message, if you’d like? Let Ms. Fowler decide if she wishes to reach out in response.”

“So you do know her!” Hope surges through me. I contain myself through sheer force alone. No one will help a crazy person. “Yes! Yes, please, anything...I just need to get a message to her, no matter how small.”

The woman’s eyes narrow slightly as she assesses me with that same strange, piercing quality as before.

“All right, I can try,” she says at last. “But first, I need to know who I’d be extending this message from. You are...”

I draw in a deep, grounding breath.

“My name is Jonathan Black,” I rasp out hoarsely. “And I’m the man in love with Catherine Fowler.”

Finally, one sculpted eyebrow arches. “Is that so? Exactly how would you propose I qualify the authenticity of your request?”

I can’t lie. There’s no other way forward than to be totally honest. Completely raw.

“You’re right to be cautious. I know how this sounds—a strange man claiming to be in love with the daughter of one of the wealthiest families in the city. But I’m not after money or anything underhanded, I swear it.”

I spear my fingers through my hair. God, that sounds like something every other man would say. I swallow hard. “I don’t know if she’s told you about the dissertation we’re working on together. She’s brilliant. So much more intelligent than I’ll ever be. And beautiful. Charming. Caring. Funny. Anyway…

“The connection we have. She…makes me want to be a better man, brings light and purpose into my life like I’ve never experienced before. My feelings for Cathy are real, raw, the most honest thing I’ve ever known. She’s...everything to me.

“Those recent pictures… I should have been there, should have protected her. But instead, I failed her in the worst way. I need to make that right, to show her that what we have is so much bigger than gossip or social standing…”

I stop and take in the woman again. That’s where I know her from. She was in one of the pictures with her arm around Tophy Booker, another well-known name in the business world. “You…you’re in those pictures. You do know Cathy.”

She crosses her arms and throws her shoulders back in a defensive stance. “I know Cathy. Which is why, if you’re here looking to harass or hurt her in any way, you’re going to be sorry.”

The protective threat in her tone isn’t lost on me. I shake my head, holding my hands up in a placating gesture. “No, no, hurting Cathy is the absolute last thing I want. I’ve already hurt her enough by not being there when she needed me most. I should have told her how I felt weeks ago. But it’s all coming out wrong, all backwards. I’m just...I’m a mess.”

The woman’s piercing eyes bore into me for a long, stretching moment. Then, almost imperceptibly, the tension in her shoulders seems to release as the faintest of smiles ghosts across her full lips. “Well, if the guy’s not a hopeless mess over the woman he loves, then he must not really love her, isn’t that right?”

A lone laugh bursts from me when her words register. “You’ll help me?”

She bites out the words with a fierce protectiveness. “Only because Cathy means everything to me too. She’s practically a sister. And now I know the reason she’s holed up at her home and ignoring my messages.”

“Thank you, this means so much,” I reel slightly under a weight of gratitude and blazing determination, feeling nauseous that she’s suffering because of me.

“Oh, I think I have some idea.”

The woman’s eyes glint with sharpness. There’s something intuitive about her, something that perceives far beyond the superficial layers someone like me usually hides behind. I can see why Cathy would be friends with a woman like this.

“I know you’ve done something, which is why I’ll allow you to see her. If nothing else, she needs to hear you beg for her forgiveness. Lay it all on the line—every jagged piece of how you feel.” The razor-edged command slices through me, honing each word into cutting clarity. “And if she sends you away after that, you respect it. Walk away without a fight and leave her be.”

The thought of losing Cathy entirely constricts around my throat. But the woman isn’t done, her tone cold, and I can tell she means every word that comes out of her mouth. “But so help me God...if you go over there and hurt her even a shred more than she’s already hurting? I’ll take those ball sacs you’re sporting and wear them as a goddamn necklace. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal clear. And just so you know, I would never willingly hurt her again, not for anything in this world. If I do, I’ll cut them off myself and thread them on a gold chain for you.”

She purses her lips. I keep my eyes trained on her, hoping that whatever she sees on my face is what she needs. “Cathy isn’t here.”

My shoulders slump. “Of course. It was stupid to think I could just waltz in here. That she’d even be here.”

She holds up her hand. “She’s at home. In the apartment she shares with her father.” Her father being Dominic Fowler. I don’t have to remind myself how powerful the man is. “Who is on his honeymoon with his new bride...”

Which means Cathy is there alone.

She rattles off an address in one of the apartment buildings uptown. “Take the subway to West 87th, then walk four blocks east to Park Avenue. Her building is the new high-rise on the corner; you can’t miss it.”

I scramble to input the details into my phone with shaking fingers, half-convinced I’m dreaming and about to wake up back in my lonely campus apartment at any second. “Thank you, I...you have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Oh, I think I have some idea.” Her eyes glint with that same indecipherable sharpness as before. “I’m Lily, by the way. Tell Cathy it was me who put you onto her address. And remember what I said about those ball sacs.”

I nod my thanks, turn on my heel and reel from the building to the sidewalk, nerves thrumming with a renewed sense of purpose and determination as I hail a cab. Because somehow, against all odds, I’ve been handed a shot at redemption.

The cab ride to Cathy’s place is agonizing torture. Every bump and red light ratchets my nerves tighter. But with each block, I’m also drawing one step closer to her. When we finally pull up to the fancy high-rise, I’m a desperate, frantic mess.

This is high-stakes, one-shot only. One miss and I’m done.

My legs are shaking as I get out and head for the lobby entrance. It’s lavish. Opulent. Understated. Classy. I don’t take much else in as I stride past the doorman, not even sparing him a glance. I march straight for the bank of elevators, the doorman’s voice trailing off behind me. Fumbling with shaking hands, I punch in the code Lily gave me on the control panel.

The elevator opens with a metallic swoosh and I pile inside, jamming the button for the twenty-ninth floor. My heart is thundering against my ribcage as the floors crawl by at an agonizing pace.

No turning back.

When the doors finally open, I have to muster every ounce of resolve to force one foot in front of the other down the hallway toward the door at the end. Swallowing hard, I try to draw in a few steadying breaths, but the air feels viscous and thick. I pause at the door, frozen for a handful of stammering heartbeats as the little voice in my head starts whispering every self-sabotaging doubt on repeat.

This is a mistake. She’s going to take one look at you and slam the door in your face, you pathetic piece of shit. You don’t belong in her world. She’s light years out of your stratosphere, and the sooner you accept that, the—

Before I can talk myself out of it, I rap my knuckles hard against the solid wood, the sound reverberating through my bones.

I hear a soft shuffle, then the door swings inward.

And she’s there.

Just like that, it’s as if the world around us falls away into insignificance.

Those warm brown eyes I’ve spent countless nights getting deliriously lost within lock onto mine with naked shock and confusion. “Jonathan? What are you...how did you...”

The sound of her voice shatters my remaining walls into rubble at my feet. I’m stripped bare before her.

And honestly? It’s a damn relief to be so undone.