31

Cathy

I press my lips to Jonathan’s in a gentle kiss. He stiffens against me, then pulls back, shaking his head.

“Cathy, you’re too good for me. Did you hear anything I just said?”

I meet his tortured gaze. “I heard every word.” This man, with all his flaws and scars, is it for me. There will never be anyone else who reaches into my soul the way he does.

“Then you know I can’t let you sacrifice yourself for my mistakes.”

The words hang between us, stark and unavoidable. “And you won’t sacrifice yourself for mine either.”

His brow furrows. “What are you talking about?”

I take a deep breath. “You never coerced me, Jonathan. I always wanted you. Even when I knew what we were doing wasn’t right.”

His eyes flare and the color deepens. “What we did was always right!”

There’s a wildness to him as his hands come out to band around my biceps. He collects himself, shakes his head again, anguish etched into every line of his face. “God help me but I’m not good enough for you. I know I’m not. I’m broken, tainted. You deserve so much more than the mess I’ve made of my life.”

Self-loathing pours out of him but I see the truth blazing beneath it all. He’s never once looked at me and seen money. Everything he’d done has been for me. He doesn’t even realize how different he is to everyone else I know.

I want him. No, that isn’t right.

I…I need him. Need him like I need my next breath. So stupid not to realize that before stepping foot back in New York.

I reach up, cup his cheek, my thumb caching on the stubble on his jaw. “Nothing makes sense without you, Jonathan.”

His breath hitches, eyes searching mine. Refusal is on his lips. Words I need to silence. I lean up, touching my lips to his. His hands drop to my hip. He moans, his hips jerk and he thrusts against me, his erection dragging against my hip. I cover my smile. He’s as affected by me as I am by him but he’s trying to hold himself back.

Stubborn, stubborn man.

I slowly part my lips and drag my tongue along the seam as his mouth opens. The air we breathe mixes. I hang there, barely touching him. Teasing him. Arousal crackles in my blood, urging me to do more, but I hold back. Barely.

“Cathy...” His voice cracks on my name, a desperate plea and a prayer all in one.

Slowly, incrementally, I feel the rigid tension start to drain from his body. His fingers tighten and a tremor runs through his body. He tilts his face, our lips lingering against each other.

“We’ll get through this and we won’t have to hide any more, Jonathan,” I say.

His hands trail up my sides, along my biceps, thread through my hair as his palms cup my cheeks.

“I don’t deserve you.” He rests his forehead against mine. “But God help me, I can’t walk away. Not again. Never again.”

He pulls me against him as if on the edge of control. I gasp as he grinds his cock against me and he takes that moment to capture my mouth in a searing kiss. One filled with heat, with longing, with our simmering connection. Everything fades. The apartment, New York, the world, Marty, Chris and everything else that stands in our way.

In this moment there’s nothing but us. Here. Now.

He groans, tongue swiping against mine. He lets go of my face to grip my thighs and lifts me with the strength of his body. I wrap my arms about his neck, cling to him. I lock my legs around his waist and grind my heat against his hard shaft.

The world’s axis tilts and finally everything slots together in a perfect way.

Jonathan is my drug of choice. I’m ruined for anything else.

Not that I want anyone but him.

“Your bedroom,” Jonathan demands.

I kiss him and point down to the hallway through the living area. The lights of New York glimmer past the floor-to-ceiling windows. The view is exquisite, worth every penny of the apartment’s astronomical price tag and the reason my father maintains a residence on this exclusive, high-security level. But I’m blind to its beauty. I’ve never been more thankful for Dad and Adeline to be on their honeymoon.

Then I forget everything as he carries me through the living area. I point to my room and we stumble inside. He spins, pressing me to the wall, grinding himself into me. My head falls back, mouth open, panting hard. He breaks our kiss. Trailing his lips over my jaw and sucking on my tender flesh while he tugs my T-shirt up and skims his hands up my sides to capture my breasts. He kneads my tender flesh but he suddenly snarls and breaks away.

“Off. I need you bare.” His voice is filled with raw need.

It takes me half a second to gather any thought and when I do, he’s already pushing my T-shirt over my head. His fingers coast along my back and before I know it, my bra is loose. He pulls it off as though it offends him and then his hands tease me, massage me. He bends his head, sucking first one breast into his mouth almost painfully while he massages the other. He swaps to my other breast, and my skin puckers in the cool air that hits the hot path of his lips.

I pant, cling to him and feel.

Oh God. Yes. This. I need this. Him.

I jolt when he nips my nipple and my underwear floods with my arousal. I’m wet. So wet that moisture coats my thighs.

His fingers wrap under my thigh and drag along my core. He groans when he discovers how wet I am. How I’ve destroyed my clothing. He grips my leggings at the back and tries to work them down, but the position is wrong.

I drop my legs and stand but my legs don’t support me. I sway as he peels my leggings off my body, taking my underwear off at the same time. He drops to his knees. I lift each foot and he tosses my clothing behind him somewhere.

His gaze travels up my legs and stops at the juncture of my thighs. His nostrils flare. His hands lift, shaking as he lays them on my thighs. His fingertips dent my flesh. Both thumbs stroke up along my inner thighs. High and higher. I jump when they brush my damp lips, swollen with my need.

His eyes jump to mine. His pupils are dilated, leaving only a small rim of bright blue around the edge. He holds my gaze and leans toward me. Slowly. So slowly I begin to fidget. His fingers firm and he stops moving until I still.

My clit throbs with each heartbeat. His breath wafts over my bare mound driving me crazy. Every little thing about this drives me crazy. I watch, spellbound, chest heaving, arousal dripping down my thighs as he continues his journey toward me. His tongue appears and he swipes a long, hot, wet path along my seam, coating his mouth with my essence.

He swallows and licks his lips. So. Hot. “Hmmm. Delicious.”

He slides his palms behind my thighs, urging them apart. His gaze dips back down to my exposed core. He draws in a deep breath as if filling his lungs with the scent of my arousal.

“Mine.” He utters the one word before he dives in.

And.

Devours.

Me.

I cry out, fingers digging into his hair as an unexpected orgasm barrels through me. My muscles clench and I hover in a breathless space while white sparks shoot through me. He kisses me right there as though he’s kissing my mouth. Sucking. Nipping. He drags his tongue through the sopping mess, licking me clean with each hard and fast swipe. My clit throbs as I sink back down from my high. He shoves his face between my thighs, captures my clit in his mouth and sucks hard.

I soar again, muscles locking, breath catching in my lungs.

He rises before I’ve caught my breath, picks me up, turns and lays me on my bed. I’ve never had a man in my own bed before. This isn’t an invasion of my sanctuary but a welcome addition. He adds warmth into my room. His presence fills corners I never knew were lonely. He rises over me, one hand on my waist and the other threaded through my hair.

“One of us is far too over dressed for this occasion,” I tease, although there’s something illicit about the fact I’m naked while he’s still fully dressed.

And then, suddenly, his clothes are offensive to me. I want us both naked together. I come up onto my elbow as he draws back, fingers coming to his shirt. His eyes rake over me as he peels off his clothes with frenzied movements until he’s standing there naked. Vulnerable. The breath is stolen from my lungs again for a different reason.

He’s breathtaking. Beautiful.

He circles his hand around his cock and strokes himself. I follow the motion with my gaze and I’m overcome with a singular urge. My mouth waters as I come to my hands and knees and reach for him.

“Come here.” A command. A plea.

He steps toward me without hesitation and groans as I lean into his body, all bulging muscles and smooth skin. I grip his shaft, silk and steel searing my palm, and then kiss the mushroom head. His musky scent rises around me, coming from the most potent part of him.

I want to taste him. The compulsion is too overwhelming to think of anything else.

He groans as I draw him into my mouth. Masculine musk and earth coat my tongue. He lets out a sound like a hiss and thrusts gently into me. I suckle him as he moves, sliding my tongue over the ridges and veins, filling my mouth with him. His fingers twine through my hair, brushing strands away from my face. I glance up to find his gaze locked onto my parted lips, burning and ferocious.

My clit throbs and I wonder if I’ll come again just with him in my mouth. I’m close. My arousal is fast racketing up into an inferno once again.

I’ve never done this with a man.

I’ve never wanted to, until now.

But with Jonathan, I want to put my lips all over him. I want to make him feel good. As blissful as he’s made me.

I hollow my cheeks, drawing him deep into me and suck hard. I release the suction, withdraw and bob my head to do it all over again. His thighs tremble and a strangled sound comes from his throat. His fingers tighten as I bob again and again, sucking, gliding, using my tongue to swirl around his head. The veins in his cock pulse.

“God. Cathy. I’m going to cum…”

He tries to release himself from me, but I don’t want to draw away. I want to taste him. Eat him as he’s eaten me. I clamp my fingers around his thighs and suck. Hard.

He lets out a wordless cry. He thrusts, muscles tensing. His cock throbs and my mouth is filled with his salty release. I swallow, not wanting to let anything dribble from my mouth. His body spasms and then falls still.

I release him, gently rubbing his balls and his thighs as he pulls free. He’s wet where he’s been in my mouth and I watch his still semi-hard shaft jerk beneath my gaze.

“That was…” He breathes heavily.

A brown curl flops over his brow as he draws his fingers gently over my cheek. He traces the line of my jaw with his thumb. His eyes flare when I suck his thumb into my mouth. I smirk because I’ll never get tired of the way I can make him come undone.

His eyes gleam with light. He leans into me, one hand on my shoulder and directs me onto my back. I lay as his hot gaze roams over my body. I feel beautiful. Desirable. Wanted.

Needed.

I glance down the length of his body to see his erect cock bob against his abdomen. That shouldn’t be… How can he…It takes more time to recover from…

I suck in a quick breath and it’s his turn to smirk when my shocked gaze returns to his face. “Need you so much, baby.”

He settles between my parted thighs. The cool air hits my core and then his heated flesh covers me. He grinds his shaft through my seam, spearing my slippery arousal. He kisses me, eyes searching mine. “Want to fuck you now. Please.”

He waits for me. For my permission. I want this more than I’ve wanted anything else.

“Yes, Jonathan. Please.”

He wastes no time, adjusts his hips and slides into me as though he’s always belonged there.