Chapter 44

Nikita's POV,
Suddenly my tears flowed when I saw pain in his eyes.
I'm not as bad as you think you'll be happy when you see the person who once hurt you hurt.
"H-how come?" He asked incredulously.
"Please, don't joke like that. Maybe you just want to retaliate for hurting you before but not this way Niks. Please, take back what you said." He said that it seemed like the most disgusting word he had ever heard in his entire life.
I'm sorry Terrence. We're really not meant for each other.
What did I do and I was loved by two people I don't love as a lover but the person I love myself and want to be the father of all my children can't love me? If I could just ask for a time machine to bring back the old time Terrence and I had that I loved and fight for the two of us or dictate to my heart that Hanz was the only one to love right away, I would have done it but those were impossible. There is no time machine and no speaker in the heart for everything I want to happen.
Why else would I get pregnant with someone I don't love.
'What if we'll risk a chance baby to tell your Daddy that he has a little angel?'
"I'm really pregnant Terrence." I said while wiping tears from my eyes.
"No! You're lying. You'll be a mother when we become ehh." He insisted while holding my hand. I tried to remove my hand from his grasp.
"I'm pregnant and I-I don't know who the father is." I said while still wiping tears from my eyes.
He himself released when he held my hand.
"W-what?" Unbelievable he said. His words were amplified, which made me turn my attention to the people who were already watching us.
"Shhhh! Calm down. Lower your voice because a lot of people are looking at us." I said and quickly wiped away my tears so as not to add another scene.
Thank you and only a few people here so only a few saw our drama.
"I got pregnant by a man I met at the bar then. It was an accident. I was drunk and I also knew that man was drunk. M-something happened to us b-but I didn't see him the morning I woke up and I can't remember his face k-kaya d-di ko siya marecognize. " I would lie and try not to stutter because he might notice that I was just lying.
"Y-You mean ....... your son doesn't have a father?" He asked.
What without a father? Can a woman give birth to a child without a man? '
That's what I would have told him in case I suddenly remembered that we weren't in the joke session to sneeze like that so I just looked at him and sighed.
"I can't believe this." He said dumbfounded while not seeing me.
'Yeah, as much as I can't believe in the one year Kent and I have been together I've been careless and haven't appreciated the word' Virginity '.'
"I'm sorry." I just said it and I don't know why I said that.
He turned to me and stared at me before smiling.
"You don't need to be sorry. It's also my fault. If I hadn't hurt you before, I might still be watching over your case, t*nga ako ehhh. I should be the one to apologize to you for hurting you before ... "He stopped speaking first and suddenly grabbed my hand.
"... What if you're pregnant? What I mean is, he doesn't have a daddy so why don't I? I'm just the baby's daddy. I'll treat him as my child, my own flesh." He said that he was the one who surprised me.
"I don't have a pack if you're pregnant. I don't have that, as long as you, I'll let you be us again." He added and I'm still here, unable to recover from what he said.
Will he stand daddy?
He doesn't have a pake even though I have a baby?
Be we?
I will agree?
What did this man eat?
"Terrence, p-are you willing to live with a family that isn't yours?" I said and waved my hand at him.
"I'm not in a hurry to answer you as long as you answer me ..." he paused before reaching for my spoon and fork and holding it to me.
"... so eat now because from now on, I'll be dating you and ... opppps!" He stopped me when I was right to oppose him.
"... you will answer me. Get that?" He even said that it was as if he had no freedom.
"But -----"
"If you don't want to and if you want to, I will love you."
"Wait-----"
"Let's eat quickly and buy baby stuff."
I want to say that he can't flirt with me anymore because I will answer him.
But just charot! I'm leaving next month so I'll leave him.
I don't want to rely on him anymore so I want him to stop flirting with me.
"Please Nikita, let's date today. I just want to be with you." He said as he bent down so I just let out a sigh.
I just ate the food that was served at our table because the food would be fun if I didn't eat it.
We just talked about what-what and she decided to go to the Babies' Stuff Store.
'Isn't he excited for you to come out, son?'
"Is he a boy or a girl?" He said while showing me a pink and blue onesie.
"I still don't know if it's a girl or a boy ehh?" I said while looking at the cute infant shoes.
"Huh? How many more months is that?" He said while still holding the two clothes.
"It's only three months and we'll know in five months." I said.
"Isn't it high-tech now and even in three or four months you will know if it's a baby boy or a baby girl?" He asked more.
"I don't know. Maybe my OB is late for modernization." I just said.
Is it really high-tech now? Can I have another checkup?
"Let's just buy the white one for unisex." I said and put on the five onesie.
"Wait! Why only five?" He asked while looking at the five onesie I put in the cart.
"I don't have any money. I still owe Hanz first! Heheheheh!" I said because I really don't have any money right now.
"And why are you saving the baby?" One of his eyebrows was raised. He picked up a lot of onesie and put it in the cart.
"Hey! I don't have a down payment there." I said and returned the onesie he had put in the cart.
"I'll pay." He said and put the clothes back in the cart.
I did nothing and followed him. She is shopping for clothes for the baby.
"This is ohhhh! Its cute." He said more while showing me a suit shorts and long sleeves. She is round neck and simple but what adds cuteness to that dress is the 'Daddyy loves Mommy'.
'Cute case I don't really love your daddy baby.'
"Oh what? Are you quiet already?" He says. I just smiled at him hard.
We even looked for clothes and my atmosphere was pretty ok because Terrence was teasing me. We just laugh out loud while shopping. Terrence was the next to buy and even bought a lot of rainbow colored shoes.
'Tito Terrence's skin baby!'
"Nikita? Is that you?" I turned to the caller and suddenly my eyes widened at the caller ..
Nikita's POV,
"Tita Marga?" I said Kent's aunt's name.
"It's nice to see you here ija. Who's with you?" He asked.
I was not counted before him but now I don't know why I am counted.
Maybe because I no longer have the right to call her aunt.
"I'm with my friend. You?" I answered.
"Oh, I'm with your uncle Michael. You know, shopping." Then he laughed.
"By the way, where's Kent? You're not visiting the mansion anymore." Tita Marga said.
"Ahh, he's just b-busy-maybe he is." Embarrassed I said.
I was embarrassed because I had no connection with their family but I still talked.
"How about you? Come visit us." Said aunt as she wrapped her arm around me.
"Ahh ehh aunt, s-Terrence, my friend." Introducing me to Terrence.
"Oh hi ijo. Are also friends with Kent?" Auntie asked cheerfully.
"Who's that?" Terrence asked in astonishment.
"Yung bo ---"
"Ah, no. He's my long time friend. He just came home from the States." I cut him because Terrence might be suspicious about Kent.
"Oh, glad to know you ijo. So can we have dinner together?" Auntie asked enthusiastically again.
Auntie, if you only knew that Kent and I were gone, you probably wouldn't invite me to eat anymore.
"Ahh, s-okay."
Third Person's POV,
They just followed Marga to a classic restaurant. Terrence and I were also quiet and emotional.
She doesn't know how to introduce Tita Marga to Terrence.
She shouldn't say it's her ex-boyfriend's aunt.
Meanwhile, Terrence wonders who Nikita really calls aunt Marga. It had not yet been introduced to him.
Distant relative? Why don't I seem to know? I just met it now.
Think of Terrence.
When they get to a restaurant, Nikita sees Michael, whom she calls Uncle Michael.
"Oh Nikita, where is K ---"
"Ahh uncle, I'm at home." Nikita refrained from what Uncle Michael would have said. Honestly, he didn't really know where Kent was.
He also did not know why he said he was at home. Did he know he was dating Lauren.
He was sad to think of that.
Hayst! Kent again!
They sat facing each other. Aunt Marga smiled at them before taking the menu.
"Ahh uncle, Terrence, my friend." Introducing him to Terrence.
Terrence, on the other hand, seems to have a big question mark.
He didn't know who they really were.
Michael raised his hand so the waiter approached them, giving them the menu.
Meanwhile, Terrence is awkward with the lady and gentleman who are with him now because he doesn't really know them. He wondered if it wasn't embarrassing for him to give them food right away, even though he really had money.
"Are you working green?" Uncle Michael asked Terrence so that maybe he wouldn't be too awkward for us to meet.
"Yes Sir, I'm working in our company. I worked as the Director of Namilla Corporation." Introduction by Terrence.
"Really? The CEO of Namilla Airlines and Aircrafts Company?" Said Titus Michael.
"Yes please." Terrence said.
"At your young age? You are a genius, at your age, you manage to handle a big company." Tito Michael said that was noticeably impressed with him.
"Thank you for your compliment Sir. In fact, I also had to handle the company of my late husband." He said more.
You can see that Tito and Tita are a little surprised.
"Ow, you're already a married man." Tita Marga added.
Our order arrived so we started eating.
"Yes please."
"Did you just say 'yumao'?" Assurance of Tita Marga.
"Yes. She died months ago from a systemic lupus erythematosus. Her lupus is active again and her kidney is damaged." Terrence replied and bowed further.
"Sorry to hear that."
"Its ok po. May I know po about the company that you own?" Terrence asked.
I feel like we went to a company meeting. I can't come in.
"We have the Yamashita's Company."
"You're the owner of a jewelry making company?"
"Ah, yes?"
"Oh Nikita, eat some more." Tita talked to me.
"It would be nice if Kent was here too. Come on, eat Nikita. I'm sure, Kent doesn't want you to be hungry." Tita said and I put more food on the plate.
"Ahh heheheh." I just said.
How I wish we were still Tita. Case he's in someone else's. He is already being held by others. I no longer own him.
"Anyways, Nikita, where are you going to work first?" Tita asked me.
"Ahh, I-I don't think so. Maybe about one year so I can rest first." I just said that even though my reason was really different.
I'm pregnant and when will I first take care of myself for my child ... Kent and I ... even without him.
"Ah Sir, can I excuse myself for a minute? I'll just go to rest room." Goodbye Terrence.
I looked at Terrence and Tito and I looked at him.
"Yes you may Ijo." Said Tita Marga. Terrence bowed slightly and left.
"How's the both of you Nik?" Said Titus Michael. "I'm sorry because we didn't go to your graduation. We're in California. You know, business." He added.
"It's ok uncle. We don't have a celebration." I said and bowed.
"Oh my gosh! I'll call Kent so we can at least meet before we go back to California. You know, we're just taking care of something here for a while."
"Ahh t-tita, t-tito. W-Kent and I are gone." I said.
They both fell silent.
"M-we've been w-nothing for a long time."
"Why? Did he cheat on you? Did he hurt you? I swear, I'll reap his he ---"
"No, he just have to choose Lauren over me." I will admit.
"Y-you mean Lauren?" Tita asked again.
I just nodded bitterly.
"I'm also leaving and I'm going to live in another country for good."
They both fell silent and did not speak. We just kept quiet until Terrence arrived.
"Excuse me Sir, Ma'am, I'm sorry, I have to leave. We have an urgent meeting with the company." Terrence said when he could get back.
"Ah I'll just come with you Terrence." I said because I want you to go home.
I looked at them first and they smiled and then nodded. I also stood up and was a little surprised when Tita held my hand.
"Even without you, we're always here for you." Tita said so I smiled at them.
Kent's other family was very kind to me.
Terrence and I turned around and walked to the parking lot.
"Is he the father of the child?" I turned to Terrence at what he said and was surprised.
Nikita's POV,
Is he the father of the child?
Is he the father of the child?
Is he the father of the child?
I was nervous when Terrence said that. I feel like my heart will be released from my rib cage with the force of the drumming.
He can't know that Kent is the father because I don't want Kent to know about our son.
I touched my stomach.
I'm sorry baby. Mommy is really afraid to tell your daddy about you. I don"t want to get to the time when he hates me for tying him up in a relationship he doesn"t like.
Sorry baby because I can't give you the complete family you want. I will revive you as best I can. I will love you more than anyone.
I love you baby.
"What? Are you ready?" Hanz suddenly groaned. I smiled at him and nodded.
I'm leaving and living there in the States for good. I guess this is the time for moving on. I want to move on, not just for myself but for my baby and Kent.
I will put my baby first before my love for Kent. I will stay there so I can focus on our baby and so that Kent and I don't cross paths.
"Are you okay son?" Mama said to me and held my shoulder.
"Won't your decision change Nikita?" Daddy asked me.
I just smiled at them and looked at the luggage arranged in our living room.
"Do you think I'll be a good mother?" Out of nowhere I asked you mom.
Mom turned me to him.
"You'd be a better mother than me." Mom said to me. I just smiled again and turned to the suitcases.
"Even if I deprived my son of a father?" I said more.
"Son, you didn't deprive your son of the father. It's not your fault for not knowing his father. The bad thing about that is if you know the father is there, but you chose to keep him a secret here." Mom said so I'll bow down.
I'm a bad mother.
"Mom, what if I know the child's father and then I choose not to tell him because I don't want to tie him in a relationship he doesn't want and I also don't want my son to live in a forced family?"
"What do you mean?"
I turned to dad when he suddenly interrupted the conversation.
"Do you know your son's father?" Said papa.
I immediately shook my head.
"No. I'm just asking, just in case I meet my son's father." I refuse immediately.
"What are you thinking, kid. You've overthinked. That's bad for the baby." Mama said and stroked my hair.
"Am I a bad mother?" I asked again because even I didn't know if my decision not to tell Kent the truth was right.
"Hmm, how can you call your son a man in a forced family in case you told his father about him?"
"Because he doesn't love me and he loves someone else but he has to choose a responsibility."
"Responsibility? For me, that reason sucks. First of all, a father's right to know about his child. Even if you don't want to tell him, it's your responsibility to let him know about your child because he's the father. Sometimes, It hurts the father not to know the son. If the time comes when you know the father of your son, I hope you will not deprive him of being the father of your son. "
"But maybe he doesn't love my son?"
My stupid. Kent wasn't like that when I met him.
"Second, who knows that maybe your son will change how he feels." Mom said so I looked at her.
Will her love change?
If I happen to tell about our son, will he love me?
No! I will not use my son to get his love.
"Will I use my son?"
"No, that's not what I mean. I mean he might prefer your son because for him being a father weighs more than being a lover to a woman." Sabi is mom.
I was dumbfounded for a moment.
"The selfish of such a decision son." Mom said so I looked at him again.
"Selfish?"
"Yes. First you deprived the father of your son and you deprived his father to adopt him." Mom said so I bowed.
I know that ma. I-I don't really have the courage to say that to him.
I looked up at mama and smiled.
"I'll bare that in my mind." I just said that even though I just ignored what mama said to me in the other ear.
Sorry ma, but I'd rather be selfish if this is the best for him and for my child. Besides, I can also be the father of my child. I will not make him feel the absence of a father because I myself will be his father.
"May we?" Hanz said and grabbed my suitcase.
"Bye ma ..." I said and kissed mama's cheek.
"Bye ..." I also said to papa and returned to his cheek.
"Be careful there son ah. Always call me and let me know about my grandson. Don't stress don and when you're in pain call Hanz then when ---"
"Mom, I already know that. How many times have you reminded me of that." I'm going to break up with mama because she's already a strange reminder to me. Praning si mama.
"We're leaving." I said and walked away.
I waved to mama and left.
We were already on the plane and we were just waiting to fly.
When I felt that we were moving I looked out the window.
Everything will be fine. I believe that.
...................................