Chapter 51

Nikita's POV,
"How are you?" He asked me after he gave me the menu. He ordered us because he knows what I used to order here.
He was just staring at me, so I was confused.
Why should I be counted? Is it because I know he's family and we shouldn't see each other anymore?
"Happy Birthday by the way." He smiled at me, causing my eyes to widen.
He still remembers my birthday.
"Thank you!" I smiled even though I was confused. Lost or nervous?
I'm nervous about what else we're talking about.
I don't know what he meant to me, I don't even know how he knew I was here.
"How are you?" He asked as if we're really friends now.
Friends ...
"Here, it's ok." I tried so hard not to stutter.
"How's being a Chief Executive Officer? I heard you're supposed to be in charge of your company?" He asked. I think, he's trying to open a conversation with me.
I handed over the wine that was placed on our table.
How long have you been drinking wine here?
They seem to have improved because I also noticed that the seat arrangements have changed. They even built a second floor. The atmosphere here in this restaurant is also more airy. It"s been better and better dining.
I could see his eyebrows rise when he saw me pouring wine into my glass.
I know he's new because I didn't drink before. Not right now but I'm really nervous and I want to lighten the ambience between the two of us, so I'm translating.
I'm not ignorant of alcohol, I just don't drink. But it's different now, I'm really nervous so I'm just looking for something to do.
I can feel his stares on me which makes my heart pump harder.
"Are you lonely?" My eyes widened at his straight forward.
I was about to speak when our order arrived. I smiled slightly when I actually guessed what he was ordering for me.
He really knows what I want.
I looked at him. He was just looking at the food he was mixing. I couldn't take my eyes off him, as if this is the first I ever watched him this close, even though I remember his face before.
I was surprised when he suddenly reached for my food and the one he was mixing was the one placed in front of me.
I remember that he was my food mixer every time we ate here. I asked him why he was doing that, his only answer was, because he didn't want to hurt me.
That thought suddenly jumped out of my mind. He's married, and I know he's doing the same with his wife, Lauren.
"What are you thinking?" I was back in my trance when he looked up at me.
I immediately averted my eyes and pretended to swallow.
"How's being a CEO?" He asked as we ate. I swallowed what I was eating before I answered him.
"Actually, I just came home from the States. I've worked there to gain experience, in my best friend's company. I just came back when I found out my dad had an accident and the company needed me. And first, I didn't know to grow up It's really our previous business, so I'm trying to bring out the best of me because I already have a big responsibility. So I guess, I'm doing fine. " I said.
"How's your dad?" He ask.
Why does he tend to ask how"s" now?
"He's in a coma right now. But he'll be awake soon, the doctor said." I said.
"That's good to hear. I know, you'll definitely can handle that position because you are a responsible woman." He says.
My heart melt after hearing that.
Why does he have to compliment me? Doesn't he know that I get even more hurt every time he shows that to me. It's like, he still loves me, that we can still be.
I don't want to expect. I want to feel contented in loving him from afar.
"Did you know that Lauren and I didn't get married?"
My eyes literally widened at what he said. It was as if I was deaf to the sounds around me and only what he said registered in my brain.
My heart begins to pump harder and harder as if I am about to run out of breath in my lungs. I froze and bit my lip.
He's said that with a sad eyes.
"She made me realize that I was just confused and she was the one I chose ..." She sighed for a moment and stared into my eyes. It was as if a big drumstick was beating my heart again because of his stare. "I realized late that I still love you, I only realized when you're with someone else." There were tears in her eyes. He anointed it immediately. He even smiled as if ... he regretted everything. There was sadness in his eyes.
My eyes widened because of what he said.
Me? Is there anyone else?
I want to be happy because I know he loves me. But there is a sudden pump in my heart. It's like fear!
'I still love you Kent.'
But I was afraid that if I let her know I loved her again, she might leave me again.
It's not that I don't trust him anymore. It's just that, I'm scared again for my heart. It's hard to get hurt. It's hard to hope again. It's hard to imagine why you were exchanged and why it was so easy for her to divorce me after her ex came back.
"I'm sorry but I still love you." He sincerely said to me. My tears starts to fall from my eyes. The tears that I had been holding back dripped when he told me he still 'loves' me.
Nothing seemed to come out of my mouth. I didn't know what to say because at this time my heart seemed numb. If before, it was like a drum. Now, it looks like he was injected with anesthesia because of what he said.
That was the same word that I want to hear from him before.
I'm waiting for him to come to my house and tell me that. Say he just made a mistake and I'm really the one he loves non.
But as time went on, I also lost hope, until I decided to just forget him and move on with my life, for my baby.
I still love you Kent, but my heart cannot decide for now.
"I'm sorry for hurting you before. Sorry if I broke our promises. I'm sorry." He is now crying in front of me.
"I'm sorry." I said and suddenly stood up. "I have to go." I said then took my bag. I walked away as I continued to wipe the tears from my eyes. I even heard him calling my name and chasing him, but I am fast enough until I get to my car.
I immediately started that and executed it. I want to think. I don't want to give in to what he said right away. I feel, just a word from him that he loves me will allow me immediately.
I don"t want to rush into my decisions.
Now I want to go to a place where I can be alone and think clearly.
Nikita's POV,
It's been two days since Kent and I talked and I've also been meditating for two days.
I didn"t really know what to do. Should I accept him back into my life, into our son"s life?
I know he has the right to know about our son and my son also has the right to know his father.
But I'm scared. Scared of the fact that his son might just let us go like that again. Maybe the time will come for him to trade us over someone or something.
Is that really how you know Kent?
Not like that. But I've already experienced him exchanging for someone else, for his ex. Putting aside the happy times we had together just for her ex.
Yes, I can do that but things are not the same as before. I have a child who will definitely be hurt.
"Heyy mommy. I can't sleep in my room, can I sleep here with you?" My son asked just entering my room. I smiled at him.
"Sure baby. You want me to read you a story?" I ask while patting the side of my bed where he often sits next to me.
"Nah. You already told me those. I want new. Can you buy me some story books again mommy?" Said my son while holding his Einstein toy.
"Of course."
We are going to add piles of books to our house.
Sometimes, I just want to give Levi electronic books so that he won't buy the book. When he finished reading a book, he would just pile it up at home.
He lay down next to me and hugged my waist. I looked at him.
"Baby, do you ... want to meet your ... daddy?" I ask him. He immediately looked up at me while frowning.
"Why? Is he here?" He, in turn, asked. My son is also missing.
"I'm the one who ask you first." I pretended to be upset talking to my son.
"Of course, Mommy. Now, is he here?" He asked me. I just smiled at him in response.
I guess that's the answer of what I've been thinking.
Maybe I should give him another chance ... to prove himself to me, to us. I hope he will not waste this chance that I will give to him.
It takes a long time to build trust to someone, but it only takes a moment or a minute to break it. Maybe, taking risk to trust someone again, I think is not bad at all. That may be a new key for your better and long lasting relationship. Trusting is also loving. I love him, so I will trust him, no matter how it hurts before.
My son didn't look up and just lay down next to me while hugging his Einstein stuff toy.
WHEN I woke up I called my secretary to see if I had an appointment today. What he said was nothing. I told him I will be working at home today and here I will arrange my presentation for the stockholders the next day.
I'll bring Levi to his dad. I will tell Kent about our son.
Only now do I realize how selfish I have been for my son and his father.
I will no longer ask myself about the what if's of my previous decision. Maybe God let that happen for us to be stronger and to test our love from each other. Because if God also wanted us to meet immediately, we should have met then.
I found out Lauren had left for another country. If God wanted us to meet right away, he should have crossed paths with Lauren for him to tell me.
They knew Mara before that Lauren and Kent's marriage didn't go through, but she chose not to tell me because she believed that I would be happier without him.
I didn't even ask for news from Kent then because I would only get hurt. I'm really trying to move on right? How can I move on if I ask for news about him?
"Mommy, you don't have a work today?" My son ask me while I helo him put his belt.
"I have baby. But I have someone to show you." I said to him. His forehead furrowed.
"Is that my daddy?" He asked so I raised an eyebrow.
Hanep! He knew that immediately.
I just smiled and didn't speak anymore.
Ate Marissa is gone now because I sent her home to her family in Leyte 2 days ago. I also stayed at home for two days so Levi was with me.
Being a Chief Executive Officer is not really easy but I am thankful because I can work here at home, unlike my previous work in Hanz's company.
After I fixed Levi, we got in my car. I drove it to Kent's company.
"Excuse me, is Mr. Fernandez? By the way, I'm Ms. Arellano." I said to the office girl who was here across the door.
"Good morning Ma'am. Yes he's here. Do you have an appointment with him?" He asked.
"Ahh, nothing. But can you call him and ask him if I can talk to him today? Can you tell him that I'm here?" I said to the woman.
"Ok Ma'am." The woman smiled and then called Kent.
"Sir, Ms ..." The woman looked at me.
"Nikita Arellano." I said to the woman.
"... Ms. Nikita Arellano wants to see you ... yes Sir, she's here." Said the woman. He nodded before dropping the call.
"Yes, Ma'am. Follow me, please." He said and stood up to take Levi and me to Kent's office.
As we climbed, my heartbeat didn't really slow down. I still remember the explanation I practiced with him.
When we reached the opposite side of his office, the woman opened the door for us.
Kent sat as if waiting for me in his swivel chair. Kent's eyes automatically looked at my son's face.
"You're the man I saw in the bookstore." I turned to my son when he said that while looking at Kent.
My forehead wrinkled.
He is the one my son is referring to that he saw on NBS?
Have they met yet?
Nikita's POV,
I got up to prepare Levi's food because until now Ate Marissa was not there.
"Daddy have you read the Harry Potter series?" I heard my son say.
I looked at him. I was even slightly surprised when I saw Kent next to my son, listening to his stories. I even saw Levi take out a few of his books.
He released his Harry Potter series again. The expensive non tas is thick. I wonder how he reads such a thick book.
"I've read that when I was in highschool." Kent replied and took a book from the pouch.
"I just finished watching the movie." Smiling story of my son to Kent.
I smiled as I looked at them. They were so focused with each other that they didn't notice my descent.
If I had told you before about our son, would Kent and I be married?
I brush away that thought. I don't want to bring back that old memory. The only thing that matters now is that I see them together as a barber.
Did Kent get in? Maybe my son opened it.
I kept coming down. Kent noticed me so he noticed my behavior. Then he feels guilty and apologizes.
"Good morning." I greeted them and approached my son to kiss him on the cheek.
"Good morning, Mommy. Daddy is here." My son said happily to me and then kissed me on the cheek.
"Good morning, Kent." I feel for Kent. He smiled.
"Good morning." He also greeted me.
"You're here first. I'll just cook our breakfast." I said to them. My son nodded and then smiled.
I went to the kitchen to cook those two. I'm sure Kent hasn't eaten yet because he came here early.
I smiled. He really wanted to get back at my son.
I remember our conversation yesterday.
Shock flashed across Kent's face when he heard what Levi said. Levi looked at me and pointed to Kent.
"He's the one I saw in the bookstore, Mommy. The one who bought me new books." My son said.
I was also shocked. Fate really brought the two closer.
"C-can I ... talk to you?" I said trying to push away the nervosity in me.
"F-for what?" He tried to compose himself. But he stood up and walked towards us.
"Heyy, nice guys. I will pay you for that books, after I build my own company." My son said and sat down next to me on the sofa.
I was stuck in our setup ah. It's like we're being interviewed. Kent sat on a single sofa in his office while my son and I, on the long sofa.
Kent looked at my child. I know he's thinking. I know he's starting to make a conclusion.
Are you the man to see a child who looks exactly like you even if he is not your brother?
He's supporting his weight through resting his arms on the sofa arm, waiting for me to talk.
"I-I don't know how to explain it. But I want to start from saying sorry. I'm sorry Kent ... I ... I was also hurt that time ... so I didn't tell you ... the t-about our a-son. " And by that my tears fall from my eyes. I could see the masculinity of his eyes.
"WHAT ?!" He said in shock and looked at me in surprise. "H-how come? W-we didn't ... sleep together." He asked me a confused question. Her voice trailed off at the end.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and then looked at him again.
"Do you remember when you had a drink with your friends because you said it was your friend's girlfriend's birthday? You said goodbye to my friends. I also agreed because I know you're a responsible person ..." He just looked at me in the eyes while listening to what I say. I turned to my son who was just listening to us. He's like he can understand us.
"You got drunk and your friend's girlfriend called me to take you to your condo because your friends are also drunk. I picked you up and took you to your condo. I want to stay in your condo to take care of you. Something happened to us. ... "I looked at my son. I don't want to tell the story of what happened because it's bad for my son. I looked at Kent who was now bent over.
"I didn't think I would get pregnant. But I also accepted that with a willing heart, thinking that you would marry me after graduation ..." My tears flowed again, thinking that day when I would have told him about pregnancy. That was also the day he chose Lauren over me.
"I tried to tell you. That day when you broke up with me, that's also the day when I would have told you. Case, ..." I smiled hard and painfully. It still hurts when I remember that day. It was the doomest day of my life.
"There's the one you love. There's the woman you really loved. I saw how happy you were when you kissed her. I saw that. I saw how you kissed her. The pain ... Because I loved you so much before, I wanted to I chose not to tell you about our son because I don't want to tie you into a forced relationship where you are only forced to marry me for our son ... "I felt my son hug me from back.
I turned to my son and hugged him.
"I'm sorry and I deprived you of a child ah." I'm crying to apologize to my son who is also crying now.
"I'm sorry." I turned to Kent when he said that. He is now bent over and resting his two elbows on his knees. I saw someone help tears from her eyes.
He's crying.
"No, I'm sorry ..." He cut me off.
"Sorry for being an asshole. Sorry for choosing Lauren over you that time. Sorry for hurting you. Sorry for letting you go. I'm sorry and I let you go through all that alone. I'm sorry because I didn't accompany you through all the hardships you are pregnant with our child ... "
I was surprised when he suddenly knelt in front of me.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He cried saying the word 'sorry' while kneeling.
"No, Kent. I'm here to do what I should have done then. I'm sorry and I deprived you of being a father to our son and my son getting to know his father." I also knelt down to look Kent in the face.
It still hurts to see him crying in front of me.
I hugged him wanting him to feel that I already forgave him.
I can still feel her crying in my arms. I just let him go and when he finished crying he left me and then looked at my son who was also crying.
He stood up and approached my son. He hugged it. My son hugged him and then cried.
"Daddy." My son calls him. I wiped away my tears then went back to sitting next to my son.
"Yes, baby. You're daddy's here. I'm sorry." Kent apologized to my son. Later, Kent hugged me and then hugged me.
"I love you." He told us my son then kissed us on our foreheads.
It was as if a thorn had bitten me when I told you about our son. I was happy to see them together.
I was happy to see my son happy to have met his father. I was happy to be there.